Shadows of Yesterday
Page 21
“No, Chad,” she said with a haunted glaze over her eyes. “No.”
“Why, Leigh?” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why? It’s crazy to say no when both of us want it this badly.”
His arrogance infuriated her and dispelled the residual fog of sensuality in which she had been wandering. Everything was suddenly clear. She had said no, so that made her crazy.
“I am crazy,” she shouted, “but only for letting you through that door tonight after knowing how you deceived me.”
“I wasn’t deceiving you when I kissed you.”
“Weren’t you? Wasn’t that all a part of preying on the shattered emotions of a lonely widow, making her susceptible, preparing her for the time you’d have to tell her about your dangerous career? To think that I let you kiss me… almost begged you to make love to me, when all the while you were lying to me. It’s disgusting.”
His jaw went hard with rage. “Now who’s deceiving whom? You’re deceiving yourself! You weren’t ‘disgusted’ when we snuggled so nicely on your couch. You loved every minute of that tussle. And you weren’t ‘disgusted’ a few minutes ago, either. If you’d let things happen as they’re supposed to and hadn’t gone looking for stumbling blocks”
“Mountains,” she corrected acidly.
He stared at Raggedy Andy for a moment, muttering soft curses under his breath. His eyes swept back to hers. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, then sighed, and said, “I should have told you what I did for a living from the start. I apologize for keeping it from you. I didn’t tell you because we hadn’t had time to know each other yet.”
“You knew me well enough to hide it from me,” she said heatedly.
“Because you weren’t ready to accept it!”
“I’ll never be.”
“It’s worth taking a chance.”
“I took a chance once before. It didn’t pay off. My husband was shot by a kid freaked out on drugs. I don’t want to take any more chances.”
“Think of how we are together. Think about our kisses, what it’s like each time we touch, and then tell me it’s not worth taking a few chances.”
“No!”
“Coward!”
“Precisely! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t want to have to be brave every time you leave me. I had that kind of life once before. Never again. It’s better that we stop this before it gets started. Please leave, Chad. I can’t see you again.”
They were both stunned into silence by the words she couldn’t believe she’d actually spoken.
When the telephone rang, Leigh rushed from the room, grateful for an excuse to leave Chad’s fierce eyes.
“Hello.”
“Is this Leigh?”
“Yes.”
“This is Amelia Dillon, Chad’s mother. Is he there?”
“Yes, he is, Mrs. Dillon.” Did he announce to the whole world when he was going to be at her house? “Just a moment and I’ll get him.”
“No, no,” the woman rushed to say. “Actually I wanted to talk to you. Chad called when he got back from Mexico this afternoon and told me he was spending the evening at your house.” Leigh gripped the receiver, piqued that he could take her so for granted. “I wanted to invite you—and Sarah, of course—out here for Sunday dinner. We’ll put up the Christmas tree that evening. Won’t you please come? Chad has told us so much about you and we’re dying to meet Sarah. Imagine that hulking son of mine delivering a baby in the back of that horrid truck!”
Leigh liked Amelia Dillon instantly, but didn’t think she could stand a whole day with Chad, especially after just telling him that she couldn’t see him again. How could she get out of the invitation without offending Mrs. Dillon? At that moment, she couldn’t think of a way.
“That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Dillon. Thank you.”
“You’re quite welcome. We’re looking forward to seeing you on Sunday. Tell Chad to drive home carefully.”
Leigh replaced the receiver and turned slowly. He had followed her into the living room. “That was your mother. She invited Sarah and me over next Sunday for dinner and to decorate the Christmas tree.”
“To mother, dinner means lunch. I’ll pick you up at eleven-thirty.”
Before she could contradict him, he slammed out the door.
Chapter Five
All week she stewed over how to get out of the date. She planned a thousand schemes to break it and dismissed all of them as either theatrical, ridiculous, or transparent. There was no way out of it and she deemed herself a fool—a fool for not politely having declined Mrs. Dillon’s invitation and leaving it up to Chad to make whatever explanations needed to be made. And a fool for feeling about him as she did. “I won’t love him. I won’t,” Leigh told herself. “He won’t keep seeing me if his family doesn’t approve of me. Maybe they won’t like me.”
She spent the greater part of Saturday making sure they would. As physically taxing as it was, she took Sarah to the mall to shop. In one of the exclusive baby shops, Leigh bought her daughter a red velvet Christmas dress with white flowers embroidered down the front. Lacy white tights and satin shoes completed the outfit. Just in case there was an accident in the new dress, Leigh also bought Sarah an overall of lightweight denim with a bandanna-print blouse. There was a handkerchief matching the blouse stitched into a pocket on her fanny.
Sarah couldn’t have cared less for the new clothes, but found the bright pink packaging they were wrapped in fascinating. Leigh looked down, horrified to see the infant gnawing at the wrapping paper with gusto. Lois had been right. Sarah now had two jagged teeth poking out of her lower gum.
For herself Leigh bought a pair of designer slacks in a soft teal wool. The matching silk blouse made her eyes seem a clearer blue. She also indulged in a new pair of gold hoop earrings, a little more flamboyant than she usually wore, but suitable for the holiday season.
As she hung up her new clothes, Leigh thanked the stars for landing her the job of decorating Saddle Club Estates. That sizable check had certainly come in handy. With her mall contract and Greg’s pension she wasn’t strapped for money, but every little bit helped. Of course, she wasn’t in the same league at all with the Chad Dillons of the world.
“Why, Leigh?” He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “Why? It’s crazy to say no when both of us want it this badly.”
His arrogance infuriated her and dispelled the residual fog of sensuality in which she had been wandering. Everything was suddenly clear. She had said no, so that made her crazy.
“I am crazy,” she shouted, “but only for letting you through that door tonight after knowing how you deceived me.”
“I wasn’t deceiving you when I kissed you.”
“Weren’t you? Wasn’t that all a part of preying on the shattered emotions of a lonely widow, making her susceptible, preparing her for the time you’d have to tell her about your dangerous career? To think that I let you kiss me… almost begged you to make love to me, when all the while you were lying to me. It’s disgusting.”
His jaw went hard with rage. “Now who’s deceiving whom? You’re deceiving yourself! You weren’t ‘disgusted’ when we snuggled so nicely on your couch. You loved every minute of that tussle. And you weren’t ‘disgusted’ a few minutes ago, either. If you’d let things happen as they’re supposed to and hadn’t gone looking for stumbling blocks”
“Mountains,” she corrected acidly.
He stared at Raggedy Andy for a moment, muttering soft curses under his breath. His eyes swept back to hers. He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, then sighed, and said, “I should have told you what I did for a living from the start. I apologize for keeping it from you. I didn’t tell you because we hadn’t had time to know each other yet.”
“You knew me well enough to hide it from me,” she said heatedly.
“Because you weren’t ready to accept it!”
“I’ll never be.”
“It’s worth taking a chance.”
“I took a chance once before. It didn’t pay off. My husband was shot by a kid freaked out on drugs. I don’t want to take any more chances.”
“Think of how we are together. Think about our kisses, what it’s like each time we touch, and then tell me it’s not worth taking a few chances.”
“No!”
“Coward!”
“Precisely! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I don’t want to have to be brave every time you leave me. I had that kind of life once before. Never again. It’s better that we stop this before it gets started. Please leave, Chad. I can’t see you again.”
They were both stunned into silence by the words she couldn’t believe she’d actually spoken.
When the telephone rang, Leigh rushed from the room, grateful for an excuse to leave Chad’s fierce eyes.
“Hello.”
“Is this Leigh?”
“Yes.”
“This is Amelia Dillon, Chad’s mother. Is he there?”
“Yes, he is, Mrs. Dillon.” Did he announce to the whole world when he was going to be at her house? “Just a moment and I’ll get him.”
“No, no,” the woman rushed to say. “Actually I wanted to talk to you. Chad called when he got back from Mexico this afternoon and told me he was spending the evening at your house.” Leigh gripped the receiver, piqued that he could take her so for granted. “I wanted to invite you—and Sarah, of course—out here for Sunday dinner. We’ll put up the Christmas tree that evening. Won’t you please come? Chad has told us so much about you and we’re dying to meet Sarah. Imagine that hulking son of mine delivering a baby in the back of that horrid truck!”
Leigh liked Amelia Dillon instantly, but didn’t think she could stand a whole day with Chad, especially after just telling him that she couldn’t see him again. How could she get out of the invitation without offending Mrs. Dillon? At that moment, she couldn’t think of a way.
“That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Dillon. Thank you.”
“You’re quite welcome. We’re looking forward to seeing you on Sunday. Tell Chad to drive home carefully.”
Leigh replaced the receiver and turned slowly. He had followed her into the living room. “That was your mother. She invited Sarah and me over next Sunday for dinner and to decorate the Christmas tree.”
“To mother, dinner means lunch. I’ll pick you up at eleven-thirty.”
Before she could contradict him, he slammed out the door.
Chapter Five
All week she stewed over how to get out of the date. She planned a thousand schemes to break it and dismissed all of them as either theatrical, ridiculous, or transparent. There was no way out of it and she deemed herself a fool—a fool for not politely having declined Mrs. Dillon’s invitation and leaving it up to Chad to make whatever explanations needed to be made. And a fool for feeling about him as she did. “I won’t love him. I won’t,” Leigh told herself. “He won’t keep seeing me if his family doesn’t approve of me. Maybe they won’t like me.”
She spent the greater part of Saturday making sure they would. As physically taxing as it was, she took Sarah to the mall to shop. In one of the exclusive baby shops, Leigh bought her daughter a red velvet Christmas dress with white flowers embroidered down the front. Lacy white tights and satin shoes completed the outfit. Just in case there was an accident in the new dress, Leigh also bought Sarah an overall of lightweight denim with a bandanna-print blouse. There was a handkerchief matching the blouse stitched into a pocket on her fanny.
Sarah couldn’t have cared less for the new clothes, but found the bright pink packaging they were wrapped in fascinating. Leigh looked down, horrified to see the infant gnawing at the wrapping paper with gusto. Lois had been right. Sarah now had two jagged teeth poking out of her lower gum.
For herself Leigh bought a pair of designer slacks in a soft teal wool. The matching silk blouse made her eyes seem a clearer blue. She also indulged in a new pair of gold hoop earrings, a little more flamboyant than she usually wore, but suitable for the holiday season.
As she hung up her new clothes, Leigh thanked the stars for landing her the job of decorating Saddle Club Estates. That sizable check had certainly come in handy. With her mall contract and Greg’s pension she wasn’t strapped for money, but every little bit helped. Of course, she wasn’t in the same league at all with the Chad Dillons of the world.
