Shadows of Yesterday
Page 36
She left late because of the crisis and got a speeding ticket on the way to the babysitter’s house to pick up Sarah.
“Did you know that your inspection sticker is a month overdue?” the officer asked politely. He could have been inquiring about her health.
“No,” she said miserably.
“I’m going to have to give you a ticket for that, too.”
Sarah was crying so hard that the kindly maternal sitter for once was relieved to see her go. The baby screamed all the way home, distracting Leigh from her driving and compounding the headache that had begun with the destruction of her decorations at the mall.
Sarah wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t be pacified. She didn’t want to swing, didn’t want to be rocked, didn’t want to lie down, didn’t want to be held.
Leigh never got a chance to eat, so distraught was she over Sarah’s uncharacteristic squalling. She had only a trace of fever, which could have been brought on by the tantrum, but no other symptoms. Battered and worn out after hours of trying to please her daughter, Leigh carried Sarah to her crib and laid her down on her stomach. “You can just cry it out for a while,” she said and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Feeling like the worst villain in fact or fiction, she nonetheless tried to tune out the infant’s screaming long enough to get out of her clothes and take a hot, pounding shower. Sarah was still at it a half-hour later, and Leigh called the pediatrician.
“I don’t know what it could be,” she told the physician helplessly.
“Could be nothing more than those new teeth or a tummy ache. I’ll call an all-night pharmacy and have them send out a mild analgesic. It won’t hurt her, and will help Sarah and you get through the night. If she’s not calmed down by morning, bring her in.”
Leigh glanced at the clock, hoping the delivery of the medicine would be made before ten so she could talk to Chad in peace.
But by ten-thirty, Leigh was still waiting for both the medicine and Chad’s call. She paced the floor with Sarah, patting her back. Tears rolled down both their faces. “How could he do this to me tonight?” she asked the empty room. “Today, of all days, how could he break his word?”
The delivery boy arrived at eleven-thirty, fresh-mouthed and cheerful, with no apology or excuse for taking so long. Leigh could have slapped him when he said, “Have a good evening.”
Sarah choked and sputtered the medicine until Leigh could only guess if any had gotten down her throat or not. Apparently it hadn’t, for her crying went on incessantly. Leigh tried to lie down with the baby in her bed, but Sarah wouldn’t stop thrashing long enough to give in to the exhaustion Leigh knew she must feel. She had been crying for hours. So had Leigh. Why hadn’t Chad called? Had something happened to him?
She was pacing with the baby some time after midnight when she heard knocking on the front door. Hope combatted with caution, but she raced to the door and swung it open.
“Why are all the lights… What’s wrong, Leigh? Leigh?” Chad asked again as she collapsed against him.
Sarah was squished between them, but Leigh didn’t care. Her face nestled in the hard strength of his chest and moved back and forth. “You didn’t call and Sarah’s crying for no reason I can see. I got a traffic ticket… the inspection sticker. And a tree fell over. I could have strangled those little boys and their mothers…”
“Leigh, for God’s sake what is going on? Get inside. It’s freezing. And what’s wrong with Sarah? Why isn’t she asleep?”
He took the infant out of Leigh’s arms, which looked as though they might give way any minute. He carried the baby into her room, examining her closely as he went. Then he sat down with Sarah in the rocker and laid her head on his shoulder, stroking her back soothingly.
Leigh, who only an hour ago had sworn she could kill him for not calling, thirstily drank in the sight of him. Though she had thought she’d lambaste him for breaking his promise, here she was, tearfully grateful that he was here, taking charge, relieving her.
As she sagged against the doorframe, she sketchily told him about Sarah and what the doctor had said.
“I think the medicine might be working after all,” he whispered.
Leigh couldn’t believe it, but it was true. Sarah’s crying had stopped and she had tucked her knees under her tummy as she lay against Chad’s chest. Her lashes, still dewy with tears, rested on her plump cheeks.
A few minutes later they were gazing down into her crib where she lay in tranquil sleep. “I think we’d better have the doctor check her out in the morning,” Chad suggested.
“I do, too,” Leigh agreed. “She’s never cried like that.”
“Come on. You look like you’re about ready to drop, too.”
He went through the house turning off the lights and rejoined her where she waited in the hall. His arms came around to enfold her in his secure warmth. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was on the way. The part we needed came in this afternoon and I got things wrapped up earlier this evening. I tried to call then, but you weren’t home.”
“I was late getting home. I got a speeding ticket.”
He chuckled. “So you said. And something about a tree.”
“I’ll tell you later. Go on with your story.” She wanted him to talk if for no other reason than because the sound of his voice assured her that he was there. She knew now that she wanted to be with him all the time. If necessary, she could have made it alone. She’d proven it to herself, to her parents, to everyone, that she could. But why should she, when her life was so enriched by Chad’s presence in it? Why should she subject herself to nights like this alone, when he was willing to share the bad along with the good?
“Well, as I was saying, we took off, and by the time we got here, checked in the airplane, and I reported to my foreman, it was just as fast to drive over as it was to call. I’m sorry if you were upset.”
“I was, but it doesn’t matter now. You’re here and that’s far better than a phone call.”
His arms closed around her and pressed her against him. He kissed her long and deeply with a quiet desperation. “It’s been a helluva long week without you. I need you tonight, Leigh, and I think you need me.”
“I do.” Taking his hand, she led him into her bedroom. Clothes were shed with dispatch. Naked, she faced him and took his hand, bringing it to her breast and making it his. She ran her fingertip up and down the length of his fingers even as he caressed her.
“Did you know that your inspection sticker is a month overdue?” the officer asked politely. He could have been inquiring about her health.
“No,” she said miserably.
“I’m going to have to give you a ticket for that, too.”
Sarah was crying so hard that the kindly maternal sitter for once was relieved to see her go. The baby screamed all the way home, distracting Leigh from her driving and compounding the headache that had begun with the destruction of her decorations at the mall.
Sarah wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t be pacified. She didn’t want to swing, didn’t want to be rocked, didn’t want to lie down, didn’t want to be held.
Leigh never got a chance to eat, so distraught was she over Sarah’s uncharacteristic squalling. She had only a trace of fever, which could have been brought on by the tantrum, but no other symptoms. Battered and worn out after hours of trying to please her daughter, Leigh carried Sarah to her crib and laid her down on her stomach. “You can just cry it out for a while,” she said and left the room, closing the door behind her.
Feeling like the worst villain in fact or fiction, she nonetheless tried to tune out the infant’s screaming long enough to get out of her clothes and take a hot, pounding shower. Sarah was still at it a half-hour later, and Leigh called the pediatrician.
“I don’t know what it could be,” she told the physician helplessly.
“Could be nothing more than those new teeth or a tummy ache. I’ll call an all-night pharmacy and have them send out a mild analgesic. It won’t hurt her, and will help Sarah and you get through the night. If she’s not calmed down by morning, bring her in.”
Leigh glanced at the clock, hoping the delivery of the medicine would be made before ten so she could talk to Chad in peace.
But by ten-thirty, Leigh was still waiting for both the medicine and Chad’s call. She paced the floor with Sarah, patting her back. Tears rolled down both their faces. “How could he do this to me tonight?” she asked the empty room. “Today, of all days, how could he break his word?”
The delivery boy arrived at eleven-thirty, fresh-mouthed and cheerful, with no apology or excuse for taking so long. Leigh could have slapped him when he said, “Have a good evening.”
Sarah choked and sputtered the medicine until Leigh could only guess if any had gotten down her throat or not. Apparently it hadn’t, for her crying went on incessantly. Leigh tried to lie down with the baby in her bed, but Sarah wouldn’t stop thrashing long enough to give in to the exhaustion Leigh knew she must feel. She had been crying for hours. So had Leigh. Why hadn’t Chad called? Had something happened to him?
She was pacing with the baby some time after midnight when she heard knocking on the front door. Hope combatted with caution, but she raced to the door and swung it open.
“Why are all the lights… What’s wrong, Leigh? Leigh?” Chad asked again as she collapsed against him.
Sarah was squished between them, but Leigh didn’t care. Her face nestled in the hard strength of his chest and moved back and forth. “You didn’t call and Sarah’s crying for no reason I can see. I got a traffic ticket… the inspection sticker. And a tree fell over. I could have strangled those little boys and their mothers…”
“Leigh, for God’s sake what is going on? Get inside. It’s freezing. And what’s wrong with Sarah? Why isn’t she asleep?”
He took the infant out of Leigh’s arms, which looked as though they might give way any minute. He carried the baby into her room, examining her closely as he went. Then he sat down with Sarah in the rocker and laid her head on his shoulder, stroking her back soothingly.
Leigh, who only an hour ago had sworn she could kill him for not calling, thirstily drank in the sight of him. Though she had thought she’d lambaste him for breaking his promise, here she was, tearfully grateful that he was here, taking charge, relieving her.
As she sagged against the doorframe, she sketchily told him about Sarah and what the doctor had said.
“I think the medicine might be working after all,” he whispered.
Leigh couldn’t believe it, but it was true. Sarah’s crying had stopped and she had tucked her knees under her tummy as she lay against Chad’s chest. Her lashes, still dewy with tears, rested on her plump cheeks.
A few minutes later they were gazing down into her crib where she lay in tranquil sleep. “I think we’d better have the doctor check her out in the morning,” Chad suggested.
“I do, too,” Leigh agreed. “She’s never cried like that.”
“Come on. You look like you’re about ready to drop, too.”
He went through the house turning off the lights and rejoined her where she waited in the hall. His arms came around to enfold her in his secure warmth. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was on the way. The part we needed came in this afternoon and I got things wrapped up earlier this evening. I tried to call then, but you weren’t home.”
“I was late getting home. I got a speeding ticket.”
He chuckled. “So you said. And something about a tree.”
“I’ll tell you later. Go on with your story.” She wanted him to talk if for no other reason than because the sound of his voice assured her that he was there. She knew now that she wanted to be with him all the time. If necessary, she could have made it alone. She’d proven it to herself, to her parents, to everyone, that she could. But why should she, when her life was so enriched by Chad’s presence in it? Why should she subject herself to nights like this alone, when he was willing to share the bad along with the good?
“Well, as I was saying, we took off, and by the time we got here, checked in the airplane, and I reported to my foreman, it was just as fast to drive over as it was to call. I’m sorry if you were upset.”
“I was, but it doesn’t matter now. You’re here and that’s far better than a phone call.”
His arms closed around her and pressed her against him. He kissed her long and deeply with a quiet desperation. “It’s been a helluva long week without you. I need you tonight, Leigh, and I think you need me.”
“I do.” Taking his hand, she led him into her bedroom. Clothes were shed with dispatch. Naked, she faced him and took his hand, bringing it to her breast and making it his. She ran her fingertip up and down the length of his fingers even as he caressed her.
