Sharing You
Page 78
He finally turned to look at me, and the smallest spark of hope began to form in my chest at the look in his eyes.
“I couldn’t just change my life. I couldn’t just decide I wanted something different for myself. I had to run. I had to hide. That was the only way. And I can honestly tell you that I have never been happier than I am now, in this life, in that small condo, with my perfectly imperfect clothes and hair, and with you.” I chanced taking a couple steps toward him, but stopped halfway. “We didn’t have choices back then, but we’ve changed that. We’ve changed our lives so we could finally be happy. This isn’t a game for me, Brody, this is my life. You are my life. You may not be enough for my parents, but I don’t care because I’m not enough for them either. You’re more than enough for me, and that’s all that matters.”
Brody stood there, still as a statue, staring at me. His face was blank, but his gray eyes were dark with emotion. I just didn’t know what emotion it was.
“I should have told you, and I’m so sorry. But I am not my name. I’m the girl you fell in love with. Brody, please, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but don’t throw us away. Not now. After everything we’ve been through to get here, I can’t lose—”
My words were cut off when Brody suddenly closed the distance between us and pulled my body to his, his mouth falling onto mine roughly. A noise that sounded like a cry broke past my lips when the kiss ended, and I dropped my head to Brody’s chest, his arms tightening around me as he pressed his mouth to the top of my head.
“Please don’t leave again,” I choked out. “I’m so sorry!”
“Shh, it’s okay.”
I sobbed into his chest and gripped Brody’s back. Like if I held on to him tight enough, he wouldn’t leave me. My tears continued to fall harder, and my shoulders hunched in against the sobs that were being wrenched from my body.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. It’s okay,” he whispered and moved back to the counter so he could sit me on top of it.
I heard a choking sound behind me and turned to see both Andy and Grace standing there holding hands and crying. I smiled, and a relieved breath burst from my chest. “Uh, I think we can close early. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”
“’Kay,” Andy sniffed, and Grace just nodded her head. When they turned to go into the kitchen, I looked up into Brody’s eyes and sagged into his chest.
When I’d moved here, I knew I’d never been happier. Brody, Kinlee, and Jace made my life complete. But lying to them and keeping the earlier part of my life hidden had taken its toll on me. The stress of worrying that someone would recognize me—that my family would find me—was now behind me. It had happened, and for a while my world had felt like it would crash down around me, but now that it was over . . . now that everything was out there . . . it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The relief was amazing, but at the same time I felt worn out now that months of hiding had finally come to an end. The exhaustion from the stress felt like it would consume me.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
His hand paused a few seconds from where it’d been moving gently up and down my back, before starting up again. “I know you are. I’m sorry for not giving you the chance to tell me, and for what I said. I—God, I’m sorry . . . I don’t think you’re like her, Kamryn. I know you. I just . . . when it finally all clicked who you are, I freaked. I was afraid it would be a repeat of her, I was mad that you’d kept that from me, and I was scared about what would happen now that they’d come for you. I’ve always been terrified of losing you, and then I almost took myself away from you . . . again.”
“Please don’t apologize,” I whispered and looked up into his glassy eyes. “Not for this. You have every right to be mad, and I knew even when you said it that you didn’t believe what you were saying to me. I knew it was out of anger. It hurt . . . but I knew. But don’t apologize. This is my fault. None of this would have happened if I’d just told you.”
He looked at me for a few seconds before asking, “Why didn’t you?”
I shrugged as I tried to figure out the words to say. “A lot of reasons. Where I’m from, everyone knew me by name and the way I looked. So I changed those things, but I still was terrified that if anyone knew my real name, they would know who I used to be and somehow my parents would find out. I couldn’t risk it; I’d worked too hard to disappear from them. But then Olivia recognized me that morning she came to my shop, and I have no doubt she’s the one who told my parents. I told Kinlee about my past the night you and I made up at their house, and I was going to tell you that last day in the hotel room, but obviously, I never got the chance to because we were fighting about other things. When the letters from Olivia started, I tried to tell you then . . . and every time I tried something would happen. Your phone would ring, you would have to leave, Kinlee would show up . . . and I kept taking it as a sign that I shouldn’t say anything. Then you came back from the meeting with the lawyers and said you didn’t want to talk about her again. I don’t know, I just kept making up excuses, but I know I should have just told you.”
He brushed back my bangs and nodded slowly. “I understand. I wish you would have, but with everything that’s happened . . . I get it, Kamryn. Please, though, if there is anything else, just tell me now.”
“I couldn’t just change my life. I couldn’t just decide I wanted something different for myself. I had to run. I had to hide. That was the only way. And I can honestly tell you that I have never been happier than I am now, in this life, in that small condo, with my perfectly imperfect clothes and hair, and with you.” I chanced taking a couple steps toward him, but stopped halfway. “We didn’t have choices back then, but we’ve changed that. We’ve changed our lives so we could finally be happy. This isn’t a game for me, Brody, this is my life. You are my life. You may not be enough for my parents, but I don’t care because I’m not enough for them either. You’re more than enough for me, and that’s all that matters.”
Brody stood there, still as a statue, staring at me. His face was blank, but his gray eyes were dark with emotion. I just didn’t know what emotion it was.
“I should have told you, and I’m so sorry. But I am not my name. I’m the girl you fell in love with. Brody, please, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but don’t throw us away. Not now. After everything we’ve been through to get here, I can’t lose—”
My words were cut off when Brody suddenly closed the distance between us and pulled my body to his, his mouth falling onto mine roughly. A noise that sounded like a cry broke past my lips when the kiss ended, and I dropped my head to Brody’s chest, his arms tightening around me as he pressed his mouth to the top of my head.
“Please don’t leave again,” I choked out. “I’m so sorry!”
“Shh, it’s okay.”
I sobbed into his chest and gripped Brody’s back. Like if I held on to him tight enough, he wouldn’t leave me. My tears continued to fall harder, and my shoulders hunched in against the sobs that were being wrenched from my body.
“I’m not going anywhere, baby. It’s okay,” he whispered and moved back to the counter so he could sit me on top of it.
I heard a choking sound behind me and turned to see both Andy and Grace standing there holding hands and crying. I smiled, and a relieved breath burst from my chest. “Uh, I think we can close early. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”
“’Kay,” Andy sniffed, and Grace just nodded her head. When they turned to go into the kitchen, I looked up into Brody’s eyes and sagged into his chest.
When I’d moved here, I knew I’d never been happier. Brody, Kinlee, and Jace made my life complete. But lying to them and keeping the earlier part of my life hidden had taken its toll on me. The stress of worrying that someone would recognize me—that my family would find me—was now behind me. It had happened, and for a while my world had felt like it would crash down around me, but now that it was over . . . now that everything was out there . . . it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. The relief was amazing, but at the same time I felt worn out now that months of hiding had finally come to an end. The exhaustion from the stress felt like it would consume me.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
His hand paused a few seconds from where it’d been moving gently up and down my back, before starting up again. “I know you are. I’m sorry for not giving you the chance to tell me, and for what I said. I—God, I’m sorry . . . I don’t think you’re like her, Kamryn. I know you. I just . . . when it finally all clicked who you are, I freaked. I was afraid it would be a repeat of her, I was mad that you’d kept that from me, and I was scared about what would happen now that they’d come for you. I’ve always been terrified of losing you, and then I almost took myself away from you . . . again.”
“Please don’t apologize,” I whispered and looked up into his glassy eyes. “Not for this. You have every right to be mad, and I knew even when you said it that you didn’t believe what you were saying to me. I knew it was out of anger. It hurt . . . but I knew. But don’t apologize. This is my fault. None of this would have happened if I’d just told you.”
He looked at me for a few seconds before asking, “Why didn’t you?”
I shrugged as I tried to figure out the words to say. “A lot of reasons. Where I’m from, everyone knew me by name and the way I looked. So I changed those things, but I still was terrified that if anyone knew my real name, they would know who I used to be and somehow my parents would find out. I couldn’t risk it; I’d worked too hard to disappear from them. But then Olivia recognized me that morning she came to my shop, and I have no doubt she’s the one who told my parents. I told Kinlee about my past the night you and I made up at their house, and I was going to tell you that last day in the hotel room, but obviously, I never got the chance to because we were fighting about other things. When the letters from Olivia started, I tried to tell you then . . . and every time I tried something would happen. Your phone would ring, you would have to leave, Kinlee would show up . . . and I kept taking it as a sign that I shouldn’t say anything. Then you came back from the meeting with the lawyers and said you didn’t want to talk about her again. I don’t know, I just kept making up excuses, but I know I should have just told you.”
He brushed back my bangs and nodded slowly. “I understand. I wish you would have, but with everything that’s happened . . . I get it, Kamryn. Please, though, if there is anything else, just tell me now.”
