Shopaholic & Baby
Page 119
“It’s your shower!” Suze is glowing pink with pleasure. “Surprise! We fooled you! Come in, have a glass of Buck’s Fizz….”
She ushers me into the sitting room, and I can’t believe the transformation. There are pink and blue helium balloons everywhere, and a huge cake sitting on a silver stand, and a pile of presents, and bottles of champagne on ice….
“This is just…” My voice suddenly wobbles. “It’s just…”
“Don’t cry, Bex!” says Suze.
“Have a drink, love!” Mum thrusts a glass into my hand.
“I knew we shouldn’t surprise her!” Janice looks alarmed. “I said it would be too much of a shock for her system!”
“Surprised to see me?” Kelly has bounded up to me, her face shining with excitement and Stila shimmer makeup.
“Kelly!” I fling my drink-free arm around her. I met Kelly in Cumbria, when I was looking for Jess. I was only just pregnant then, and didn’t even know it yet. It seems years ago now.
“Were you really surprised, Bex?” Suze looks at me, her face full of suppressed glee.
“Totally!”
And it’s true. OK, I knew it was happening. But I had no idea anyone would make so much effort! Every time I look around, I notice something else, like the silver “baby” confetti sprinkled over the table, or the little booties hanging from all the pictures….
“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” says Danny, taking a swig of champagne. “OK, everyone, line up, unbutton your jackets, on the count of three…”
I watch, bemused, as they scramble into place, like some kind of motley chorus line.
“One…two…three!”
Everyone, from Mum to Jess to Kelly, flings open their jackets. And underneath they’re all wearing matching Danny Kovitz Tshirts, just like the one he designed for The Look. Except the picture is of a little doll-like pregnant girl. And underneath is the slogan:
SHE’S a YuMMY MuMMY and WE LOVE HER
I can’t speak.
“She’s overwhelmed!” Mum comes bustling up. “Take a seat, love. Have a snack.” She thrusts a platter of tiny Chinese duck pancakes at me. “Waitrose’s own brand. They’re very good!”
“Open your presents,” instructs Suze, clapping her hands. “Then we’ve got party games. Hey, everyone sit down, Bex is going to open her presents….” She heaves all the gift-wrapped parcels into a pile in front of me, then tinkles a fork in her glass. “Now, I have a little speech to make about the presents. Attention!”
Everyone turns expectantly toward Suze and she makes a little bow.
“Thank you! Now, when I was planning this baby shower, I asked Jess what she thought we should buy Becky. And Jess said, ‘There’s nothing left, she’s bought all of London already.’”
There’s the hugest roar of laughter around the room, and I feel my cheeks turn beet-red. OK, maybe I did go a tad overboard. But the point is I had to. I mean, I’ll be far too busy to go shopping after the baby’s born. I probably won’t go near a shop for a year.
“So!” resumes Suze, her eyes sparkling. “Jess suggested we should make things. And that’s what we’ve done.”
They’ve made things?
Oh God, they haven’t all made baby wipes, have they?
“We’ll start with mine.” Suze hands me a rectangular package and I start ripping off the silver paper in slight apprehension.
“Oh, wow,” I breathe as I see what it is. “Wow.”
It’s not baby wipes. It’s an exquisite photo frame, made out of creamy painted wood, with tiny little mirrors and mother-of-pearl set into it. Inside, instead of a photograph, is a cartoon of a stick girl holding a baby in front of a house.
“You can put a picture of the baby in it,” Suze is explaining. “But for now, I’ve drawn a picture of you in front of your new house.”
I look at the picture more closely and can’t help bursting into laughter. The cartoon house has been divided up into rooms and each one given a label. “Pram Room.” “Nappy Room.” “Lipstick Room.” “Visa Bill Room” (in the cellar). “Antiques of the Future Room.”
An Antiques of the Future Room! That’s actually a brilliant idea.
As I open my other presents I’m totally overwhelmed. Kelly’s is a tiny patchwork quilt, with patches contributed by all the lovely friends I made in Scully. Janice’s is a tiny red hand-knitted jumper with Baby’s First Christmas embroidered on the front. Mum’s is the matching Father Christmas hat and booties. Danny’s is the coolest designer distressed romper suit ever.
She ushers me into the sitting room, and I can’t believe the transformation. There are pink and blue helium balloons everywhere, and a huge cake sitting on a silver stand, and a pile of presents, and bottles of champagne on ice….
“This is just…” My voice suddenly wobbles. “It’s just…”
“Don’t cry, Bex!” says Suze.
“Have a drink, love!” Mum thrusts a glass into my hand.
“I knew we shouldn’t surprise her!” Janice looks alarmed. “I said it would be too much of a shock for her system!”
“Surprised to see me?” Kelly has bounded up to me, her face shining with excitement and Stila shimmer makeup.
“Kelly!” I fling my drink-free arm around her. I met Kelly in Cumbria, when I was looking for Jess. I was only just pregnant then, and didn’t even know it yet. It seems years ago now.
“Were you really surprised, Bex?” Suze looks at me, her face full of suppressed glee.
“Totally!”
And it’s true. OK, I knew it was happening. But I had no idea anyone would make so much effort! Every time I look around, I notice something else, like the silver “baby” confetti sprinkled over the table, or the little booties hanging from all the pictures….
“You ain’t seen nothing yet,” says Danny, taking a swig of champagne. “OK, everyone, line up, unbutton your jackets, on the count of three…”
I watch, bemused, as they scramble into place, like some kind of motley chorus line.
“One…two…three!”
Everyone, from Mum to Jess to Kelly, flings open their jackets. And underneath they’re all wearing matching Danny Kovitz Tshirts, just like the one he designed for The Look. Except the picture is of a little doll-like pregnant girl. And underneath is the slogan:
SHE’S a YuMMY MuMMY and WE LOVE HER
I can’t speak.
“She’s overwhelmed!” Mum comes bustling up. “Take a seat, love. Have a snack.” She thrusts a platter of tiny Chinese duck pancakes at me. “Waitrose’s own brand. They’re very good!”
“Open your presents,” instructs Suze, clapping her hands. “Then we’ve got party games. Hey, everyone sit down, Bex is going to open her presents….” She heaves all the gift-wrapped parcels into a pile in front of me, then tinkles a fork in her glass. “Now, I have a little speech to make about the presents. Attention!”
Everyone turns expectantly toward Suze and she makes a little bow.
“Thank you! Now, when I was planning this baby shower, I asked Jess what she thought we should buy Becky. And Jess said, ‘There’s nothing left, she’s bought all of London already.’”
There’s the hugest roar of laughter around the room, and I feel my cheeks turn beet-red. OK, maybe I did go a tad overboard. But the point is I had to. I mean, I’ll be far too busy to go shopping after the baby’s born. I probably won’t go near a shop for a year.
“So!” resumes Suze, her eyes sparkling. “Jess suggested we should make things. And that’s what we’ve done.”
They’ve made things?
Oh God, they haven’t all made baby wipes, have they?
“We’ll start with mine.” Suze hands me a rectangular package and I start ripping off the silver paper in slight apprehension.
“Oh, wow,” I breathe as I see what it is. “Wow.”
It’s not baby wipes. It’s an exquisite photo frame, made out of creamy painted wood, with tiny little mirrors and mother-of-pearl set into it. Inside, instead of a photograph, is a cartoon of a stick girl holding a baby in front of a house.
“You can put a picture of the baby in it,” Suze is explaining. “But for now, I’ve drawn a picture of you in front of your new house.”
I look at the picture more closely and can’t help bursting into laughter. The cartoon house has been divided up into rooms and each one given a label. “Pram Room.” “Nappy Room.” “Lipstick Room.” “Visa Bill Room” (in the cellar). “Antiques of the Future Room.”
An Antiques of the Future Room! That’s actually a brilliant idea.
As I open my other presents I’m totally overwhelmed. Kelly’s is a tiny patchwork quilt, with patches contributed by all the lovely friends I made in Scully. Janice’s is a tiny red hand-knitted jumper with Baby’s First Christmas embroidered on the front. Mum’s is the matching Father Christmas hat and booties. Danny’s is the coolest designer distressed romper suit ever.
