Show Me How
Page 45
“Mm-hm?”
“What about you?”
I slowly looked over at her and eyed the paper in her hand like it was poison. “Uh, I thought you knew that I’m . . .” I trailed off, not knowing what to say about Charlie. Because I didn’t know what we were.
We weren’t anything, but at the same time, it felt like we were something significant.
So significant I’d been trying to figure out a way to tell Words for four days now that I was about to walk away. But every night when she responded to me, the words wouldn’t come.
I knew I couldn’t have both, the guilt that crept through me at the thought of Charlie finding out told me that, and more. I knew which one I couldn’t stand to lose, so why was saying good-bye to Words proving to be so difficult?
I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Mrs. LaRue patted my arm with the hand that was holding the list of names and numbers.
I also didn’t know how to tell my best friend’s mom that I didn’t want her help in finding a wife. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted a wife anyway. “I’m not exactly looking—”
“I’m just waiting for the day when you or Graham realize it’s time to settle down so you can have families of your own. Don’t you see how happy everyone is here with their families? Don’t you want that too?”
A laugh escaped me before I was able to stop it. Sucking air in through my teeth, I cocked my head to the side, and said, “Ah, yeah, ‘settling down’ and ‘family’ are about the last thing on my list. They aren’t even in my vocabulary. You know I hate kids.”
She pursed her lips, studying me curiously. “I thought that . . . well, never mind,” she said with disappointment as she stood, then turned toward the kitchen. “However, I will get through to one of you, one of these days!”
“She never stops,” Graham grumbled when he snuck back into the living room. “It’s constant. She already has Aly, and pretends Keith is her grandkid too. She’s not waiting on me for anything, but it’s as if she thinks I’m a woman all of a sudden and I’m not going to be able to have kids or some shit if I don’t get married yesterday.”
I laughed when he did, but it sounded distracted. My attention had left Graham the second he’d said Keith’s name. Charlie and Keith were supposed to have gotten there twenty minutes ago. I didn’t hear or see either of them, so I pulled out my phone and sent Charlie a message.
Where are you? Do you need me to pick you two up?
“I noticed Candy’s been gone,” Graham mumbled.
I stilled, and slowly let my eyes drift over toward him. It wasn’t, but I was thanking God he hadn’t seen it.
There was that guilt again, creeping through my body. I knew it would continue to slowly consume every part of me until it overwhelmed me.
Tonight, I vowed. I’m walking away from Words tonight.
Graham glanced at me, the bruising from where I’d broken his nose already gone. “You really like Charlie? You really changing for her?”
I gave him a look, and huffed. “Has it really taken you a month to come to grips with that?”
I glanced down at my phone when it chimed in my hand, and pulled up the messages.
Charlie Girl: Already here. In the kitchen.
Graham was talking again, but I stood up and walked toward the kitchen without looking back at him. We were fine, even though things had been a little strained between us around the house for a while, but I saw him all the time. For now, I needed to see my Charlie Girl.
As soon as I rounded the corner into the LaRues’ kitchen my eyes found her, and I couldn’t stop myself from taking her in as I closed the distance between us.
“You’re here,” I said when I took the final step up to her and tried to pull her into my arms, but Charlie took a step to the side.
She held her body stiffly, and never once looked up at me. “You knew I would be.”
My forehead pinched at her cold tone and body language, and it was then I noticed what she was doing.
Her head was bowed and her arm was wrapped around her waist.
She was trying to be invisible. She was fucking hiding. From me.
“Why didn’t you come say hi or let me know you were here?”
A soft exhale blew past her lips, and she finally glanced up at me. Those blue eyes raged with anger . . . I just didn’t know who she was angry with or why. “I didn’t know I had to check in with you when I went places, especially if you were going to be there too.” Her glare darted to something behind me before touching on me again. “Besides, you were busy.”
When she started turning around again, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back a few steps with me so we were away from everyone else in the kitchen.
“Let go,” she demanded, her voice just above a whisper, but still firm.
“What the hell? You just got here and you’re already mad at me? There’s no way I could’ve done something to piss you off when this is the first time I’m seeing or talking to you all day.”
She shook her head and tried to force a smile, but it immediately fell. “I’m not mad at you, Deacon.”
“Charlie.”
“I’m not,” she said again.
I didn’t believe her, but I knew with all of our friends and her brother in this house, she wasn’t going to tell me the truth right now. With a sigh, I looked around and asked, “Where’s Keith?”
“In the downstairs guest room,” she replied protectively. “He’s still sleeping from the drive over.”
I wanted to question her tone again, but before I got the chance to, a familiar voice called out, and I turned to look at a chalk-white Keith.
“Mommy? I don’t feel—” He abruptly stopped talking, and his eyes widened.
Charlie hissed a curse as she took off toward Keith and scooped him up in her arms. She kept running with me right behind her. They made it to the bathroom, but only to the tub before Keith started throwing up, and I froze.
I didn’t know what to do.
Keith was sick, and I needed to help him and I needed to help Charlie, and I didn’t know what to do.
“It’s okay, baby,” Charlie whispered over and over again as she helped Keith lean over the tub.
“What do I do?”
“Get out,” she said harshly before whispering to Keith again.
“What about you?”
I slowly looked over at her and eyed the paper in her hand like it was poison. “Uh, I thought you knew that I’m . . .” I trailed off, not knowing what to say about Charlie. Because I didn’t know what we were.
We weren’t anything, but at the same time, it felt like we were something significant.
So significant I’d been trying to figure out a way to tell Words for four days now that I was about to walk away. But every night when she responded to me, the words wouldn’t come.
I knew I couldn’t have both, the guilt that crept through me at the thought of Charlie finding out told me that, and more. I knew which one I couldn’t stand to lose, so why was saying good-bye to Words proving to be so difficult?
I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Mrs. LaRue patted my arm with the hand that was holding the list of names and numbers.
I also didn’t know how to tell my best friend’s mom that I didn’t want her help in finding a wife. I wasn’t sure I ever wanted a wife anyway. “I’m not exactly looking—”
“I’m just waiting for the day when you or Graham realize it’s time to settle down so you can have families of your own. Don’t you see how happy everyone is here with their families? Don’t you want that too?”
A laugh escaped me before I was able to stop it. Sucking air in through my teeth, I cocked my head to the side, and said, “Ah, yeah, ‘settling down’ and ‘family’ are about the last thing on my list. They aren’t even in my vocabulary. You know I hate kids.”
She pursed her lips, studying me curiously. “I thought that . . . well, never mind,” she said with disappointment as she stood, then turned toward the kitchen. “However, I will get through to one of you, one of these days!”
“She never stops,” Graham grumbled when he snuck back into the living room. “It’s constant. She already has Aly, and pretends Keith is her grandkid too. She’s not waiting on me for anything, but it’s as if she thinks I’m a woman all of a sudden and I’m not going to be able to have kids or some shit if I don’t get married yesterday.”
I laughed when he did, but it sounded distracted. My attention had left Graham the second he’d said Keith’s name. Charlie and Keith were supposed to have gotten there twenty minutes ago. I didn’t hear or see either of them, so I pulled out my phone and sent Charlie a message.
Where are you? Do you need me to pick you two up?
“I noticed Candy’s been gone,” Graham mumbled.
I stilled, and slowly let my eyes drift over toward him. It wasn’t, but I was thanking God he hadn’t seen it.
There was that guilt again, creeping through my body. I knew it would continue to slowly consume every part of me until it overwhelmed me.
Tonight, I vowed. I’m walking away from Words tonight.
Graham glanced at me, the bruising from where I’d broken his nose already gone. “You really like Charlie? You really changing for her?”
I gave him a look, and huffed. “Has it really taken you a month to come to grips with that?”
I glanced down at my phone when it chimed in my hand, and pulled up the messages.
Charlie Girl: Already here. In the kitchen.
Graham was talking again, but I stood up and walked toward the kitchen without looking back at him. We were fine, even though things had been a little strained between us around the house for a while, but I saw him all the time. For now, I needed to see my Charlie Girl.
As soon as I rounded the corner into the LaRues’ kitchen my eyes found her, and I couldn’t stop myself from taking her in as I closed the distance between us.
“You’re here,” I said when I took the final step up to her and tried to pull her into my arms, but Charlie took a step to the side.
She held her body stiffly, and never once looked up at me. “You knew I would be.”
My forehead pinched at her cold tone and body language, and it was then I noticed what she was doing.
Her head was bowed and her arm was wrapped around her waist.
She was trying to be invisible. She was fucking hiding. From me.
“Why didn’t you come say hi or let me know you were here?”
A soft exhale blew past her lips, and she finally glanced up at me. Those blue eyes raged with anger . . . I just didn’t know who she was angry with or why. “I didn’t know I had to check in with you when I went places, especially if you were going to be there too.” Her glare darted to something behind me before touching on me again. “Besides, you were busy.”
When she started turning around again, I grabbed her arm and pulled her back a few steps with me so we were away from everyone else in the kitchen.
“Let go,” she demanded, her voice just above a whisper, but still firm.
“What the hell? You just got here and you’re already mad at me? There’s no way I could’ve done something to piss you off when this is the first time I’m seeing or talking to you all day.”
She shook her head and tried to force a smile, but it immediately fell. “I’m not mad at you, Deacon.”
“Charlie.”
“I’m not,” she said again.
I didn’t believe her, but I knew with all of our friends and her brother in this house, she wasn’t going to tell me the truth right now. With a sigh, I looked around and asked, “Where’s Keith?”
“In the downstairs guest room,” she replied protectively. “He’s still sleeping from the drive over.”
I wanted to question her tone again, but before I got the chance to, a familiar voice called out, and I turned to look at a chalk-white Keith.
“Mommy? I don’t feel—” He abruptly stopped talking, and his eyes widened.
Charlie hissed a curse as she took off toward Keith and scooped him up in her arms. She kept running with me right behind her. They made it to the bathroom, but only to the tub before Keith started throwing up, and I froze.
I didn’t know what to do.
Keith was sick, and I needed to help him and I needed to help Charlie, and I didn’t know what to do.
“It’s okay, baby,” Charlie whispered over and over again as she helped Keith lean over the tub.
“What do I do?”
“Get out,” she said harshly before whispering to Keith again.
