Silver Bastard
Page 26
3) “I need money, sweetheart. Just this once. We can’t pay the (insert bill here) and they’re going to (insert consequence here).”
I’d love to say I never sent her any money, but that would be a lie. I loved her. I wanted her back. I wanted to be a whole person again and some small part of me insisted that nobody can be a whole person without their mommy.
Fortunately I rarely let that small part make the decisions, and I definitely didn’t give it access to my checking account. Nope, if I sent her something, it was just tips. Those didn’t count.
(Right.)
So instead of returning the call, I used the time to check my email, which I couldn’t get at home. There wasn’t much in my in-box. Several ads for “enhancement” products. A quick note from Danielle saying she’d run into Joe, and that he’d left her makeup bag hanging on my doorknob because she’d forgotten it in his truck last night—could I bring it in to work with me?
Hmmm . . . That was going to be complicated. I hadn’t figured out the whole ride/home/work situation in my head. I wrote her a quick note saying I’d try, then put the phone in my purse.
By the time we pulled up to the school, I’d managed to relax despite Puck’s oh-so-friendly presence.
“I’ll see you at five,” he grunted as I hopped out. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it, but I couldn’t justify making Danielle drive all that way just because I was scared of one biker. One big, tough biker who just happened to be the only man I’d ever really wanted to—
“Thanks for the ride,” I said, my smile bright and plastic.
What the hell was wrong with me?
—
“Hi, Mom.”
“Becca baby! I’m so glad you called. It’s been awful, I don’t even know what to say, it’s so bad.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to know. It always ended the same anyway . . .
“Teeny’s finally lost his shit,” she replied, and for once her voice was sober and somewhat focused. “I think he’s going to hurt me.”
“Mom, he’s been beating the crap out of you for years. What’s changed?”
“No, those were just little arguments,” she said, brushing me off. “Marriage is hard. You’ll learn that someday, if you ever manage to find yourself a man. No, this is different. He’s been really angry and upset, and he pulled out his gun last night and held it to my head for an hour. His eyes were awful, Becca. Like a devil’s eyes. He says I’ve been cheating on him and now I’m going to pay.”
My chest tightened.
“Mom, you need to get out of there.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice a tense whisper. “He just got home. I’ll try to call later. I need money, baby. Money to leave him. If I don’t get out I’m dead.”
Then she hung up the phone.
My head started to sway and I felt dizzy.
“You okay?” asked Caitlyn, one of my classmates. Apparently she’d caught the tail end of my phone call. I looked up to find her face full of exaggerated concern, a newly lit cigarette dangling forgotten in her fingers.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. Great. Now everyone would be up in my shit, because Caitlyn was the biggest gossip in the whole damned school.
“Do you want to talk?” she asked, her voice oozing sympathy. “People say I’m great at listening.”
And repeating.
“It’s okay, really,” I told her. “Don’t worry about it. I need to get back inside.”
—
It wasn’t okay, though.
My brain was too restless. I decided to bug out of school early, so I gathered my stuff and walked over to the coffee hut. Caffeine might not solve my problems, but it probably wouldn’t make them any worse. I bought a drink and a muffin for dinner, because I’m healthy like that, then found a place to sit on the side of the building.
Teeny. God, I hated that man. He’d gone after Mom with a bat once—I’d been little enough to hide behind the couch that time. Another time she’d turned the bat on him, which was great right up to the point where he pulled his gun and made her beg him not to shoot her.
I’d watched that one from underneath the table.
Now I couldn’t get the image out of my head. For years I’d been terrified of him, but I’d learned from Regina and Earl not to let fear rule my life. Would he really do it?
Impossible to know.
She needed to get out of there. Maybe I should call her back . . .
“There’s a hot guy out here looking for you,” Caitlyn gasped, running around the corner. “He’s all dark and scary and fuckable. There’s this amazing scar on his face. It looks exactly like the kind of scar you’d get fighting pirates. Please tell me you’re screwing that beautiful man—I’ll lose all respect for you if you aren’t.”
“No, he’s just my ride,” I said, rising to my feet. I swatted my butt to get any dirt or sticks off. Caitlyn scowled at me, then smiled suddenly. Poor dear, she really wasn’t very bright. Her little brain moved slowly, telegraphing every thought right onto her face.
“Introduce us?”
“I really have to go,” I replied, trying not to roll my eyes as I walked around the corner. Sure enough, Puck was waiting, looking grumpy as ever.
For an instant I considered just turning around and taking off. I’d hide behind the school, make Danielle come and get me.
I’d love to say I never sent her any money, but that would be a lie. I loved her. I wanted her back. I wanted to be a whole person again and some small part of me insisted that nobody can be a whole person without their mommy.
Fortunately I rarely let that small part make the decisions, and I definitely didn’t give it access to my checking account. Nope, if I sent her something, it was just tips. Those didn’t count.
(Right.)
So instead of returning the call, I used the time to check my email, which I couldn’t get at home. There wasn’t much in my in-box. Several ads for “enhancement” products. A quick note from Danielle saying she’d run into Joe, and that he’d left her makeup bag hanging on my doorknob because she’d forgotten it in his truck last night—could I bring it in to work with me?
Hmmm . . . That was going to be complicated. I hadn’t figured out the whole ride/home/work situation in my head. I wrote her a quick note saying I’d try, then put the phone in my purse.
By the time we pulled up to the school, I’d managed to relax despite Puck’s oh-so-friendly presence.
“I’ll see you at five,” he grunted as I hopped out. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it, but I couldn’t justify making Danielle drive all that way just because I was scared of one biker. One big, tough biker who just happened to be the only man I’d ever really wanted to—
“Thanks for the ride,” I said, my smile bright and plastic.
What the hell was wrong with me?
—
“Hi, Mom.”
“Becca baby! I’m so glad you called. It’s been awful, I don’t even know what to say, it’s so bad.”
“What’s going on?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to know. It always ended the same anyway . . .
“Teeny’s finally lost his shit,” she replied, and for once her voice was sober and somewhat focused. “I think he’s going to hurt me.”
“Mom, he’s been beating the crap out of you for years. What’s changed?”
“No, those were just little arguments,” she said, brushing me off. “Marriage is hard. You’ll learn that someday, if you ever manage to find yourself a man. No, this is different. He’s been really angry and upset, and he pulled out his gun last night and held it to my head for an hour. His eyes were awful, Becca. Like a devil’s eyes. He says I’ve been cheating on him and now I’m going to pay.”
My chest tightened.
“Mom, you need to get out of there.”
“I know,” she replied, her voice a tense whisper. “He just got home. I’ll try to call later. I need money, baby. Money to leave him. If I don’t get out I’m dead.”
Then she hung up the phone.
My head started to sway and I felt dizzy.
“You okay?” asked Caitlyn, one of my classmates. Apparently she’d caught the tail end of my phone call. I looked up to find her face full of exaggerated concern, a newly lit cigarette dangling forgotten in her fingers.
“I’m fine,” I said quickly. Great. Now everyone would be up in my shit, because Caitlyn was the biggest gossip in the whole damned school.
“Do you want to talk?” she asked, her voice oozing sympathy. “People say I’m great at listening.”
And repeating.
“It’s okay, really,” I told her. “Don’t worry about it. I need to get back inside.”
—
It wasn’t okay, though.
My brain was too restless. I decided to bug out of school early, so I gathered my stuff and walked over to the coffee hut. Caffeine might not solve my problems, but it probably wouldn’t make them any worse. I bought a drink and a muffin for dinner, because I’m healthy like that, then found a place to sit on the side of the building.
Teeny. God, I hated that man. He’d gone after Mom with a bat once—I’d been little enough to hide behind the couch that time. Another time she’d turned the bat on him, which was great right up to the point where he pulled his gun and made her beg him not to shoot her.
I’d watched that one from underneath the table.
Now I couldn’t get the image out of my head. For years I’d been terrified of him, but I’d learned from Regina and Earl not to let fear rule my life. Would he really do it?
Impossible to know.
She needed to get out of there. Maybe I should call her back . . .
“There’s a hot guy out here looking for you,” Caitlyn gasped, running around the corner. “He’s all dark and scary and fuckable. There’s this amazing scar on his face. It looks exactly like the kind of scar you’d get fighting pirates. Please tell me you’re screwing that beautiful man—I’ll lose all respect for you if you aren’t.”
“No, he’s just my ride,” I said, rising to my feet. I swatted my butt to get any dirt or sticks off. Caitlyn scowled at me, then smiled suddenly. Poor dear, she really wasn’t very bright. Her little brain moved slowly, telegraphing every thought right onto her face.
“Introduce us?”
“I really have to go,” I replied, trying not to roll my eyes as I walked around the corner. Sure enough, Puck was waiting, looking grumpy as ever.
For an instant I considered just turning around and taking off. I’d hide behind the school, make Danielle come and get me.
