Silver Silence
Page 57
Grinning, Valentin grabbed the cub into his arms to smother his face in kisses. The boy squealed with laughter and clambered up to sit on Valentin’s shoulders afterward. “Nova’s looking after the cub right now—but don’t worry, he’s tough.”
“He’s a bear!” the children said in concert.
“Exactly.” Valentin nodded proudly. “He’ll grow strong enough for play soon.”
The solid little boy on his shoulders pulled his hair. “Can we see him?”
He felt the shift in the emotions that swirled around the adults and teens in the room. Instead of facing a question that could shatter the joy, he tumbled the cub over his head and into his lap. “What do you think you’re doing assaulting your alpha?” he grumbled. “Big bears have been known to eat small bears who aggravate them.”
He faked growling as he brought the cub’s arm to his mouth as if to take a bite.
Laughing too hard to speak, the boy just said, “Mishka!”
His infectious laughter distracted the little ones and the older ones weren’t about to poke that particular bear, so Valentin left the question unanswered. Not long afterward, a teenager asked another question, his tone wistful. “Are you having a big party to celebrate?”
“With dancing?” the girl next to him said.
Valentin nodded. “Of course. It’s a new life in the clan, a new voice in Denhome.” A Denhome that was far too empty right now.
Normally, he’d have said, “All are welcome,” but today, he swallowed those words, despite the hurt that caused inside him. “You should have a party, too.”
The cubs took up the cry, and he knew it’d be an easy wish for the adults to approve. What they’d have a difficult time with was that they hadn’t been invited to join in the celebration at Denhome. As he rose after interacting with the kids for fifteen more minutes, he saw shock in more than one pair of adult eyes.
There was anger, too. Clenched fists and red bursts on cheekbones.
Valentin held each and every gaze, showed them he was about to make the call he should’ve made months ago. The only thing that had held him back was his abiding love for his clan. But even an alpha bear’s heart couldn’t take blow after blow without breaking. “Celebrate,” he said in a quiet tone. “The rest can wait.”
• • •
HE returned to the den needing touch, needing comfort. He didn’t want it from any of his clan. He wanted it from a telepath who’d barely begun to accept her capacity to feel. But he’d go to her anyway. Not to the tech room, but to her own. He could scent the ice and fire of her in that direction, a thread that whispered his name.
Yet, though he wanted to arrow straight to her, he was alpha. His needs didn’t come first. He cuddled the little ones who ran over to him, spoke to clanmates who asked hesitantly about family or friends in the lost group. He discussed ongoing business matters with two of his seconds, congratulated the team that had so beautifully decorated the Cavern, went to the infirmary to see his newborn clanmate again, and dropped by the kitchen to say hi to the cooks working hard to put together a celebratory feast.
By the time he got to Silver, need was a wild creature gnawing on his bones.
He forced himself to knock.
Silver pulled open the door almost at once. She was still wearing the headset, had an organizer in hand. But the instant she saw him, she said, “I’ll call you back,” and took off the headset. Putting that and the organizer on the bed behind her, she held out a hand. “What’s wrong?”
He couldn’t speak.
Taking her hand, he stepped inside and kicked the door shut. Then he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her close, his body vibrating with the force of the emotions tearing him apart. Inside him, his bear roared in anguish.
Chapter 29
This child of my child, Silver, she is brilliant firelight, incandescent in her intelligence and inner strength. To watch her become Silent . . . it is the only way, and yet I cannot help but wonder if we will lose part of her under the weight of the conditioning.
—Personal diary entry, Ena Mercant (November 14, 2059)
VALENTIN EXPECTED SILVER to protest at how he’d engulfed her.
But Silver Mercant, he should’ve remembered, was made of sterner stuff.
She put her arms around him and, after a brief pause, began to stroke his back. He knew at that instant that he was the absolute focus of her attention. She wasn’t telepathing, wasn’t doing anything but concentrating on him. He knew that in his gut, as he knew each and every member of his clan—even the ones who’d walked away.
When Silver finally spoke, it was many minutes later. “I’ve never known you to be lost for words, Valyusha. I should take advantage of this momentous circumstance to tell you all the ways in which you’ve annoyed me since we first met.”
Light began to dawn inside him, his bear suffused with joy. His Starlight was playing with him. Really playing.
“First,” she said, “bringing over documents in hard copy but never in triplicate as requested. Then asking me to copy them for you right then because you wanted to be sure we didn’t mess with the contract.”
His lips curved. He remembered how she’d icily do the task personally rather than passing it on to her assistant. Then she’d hand him his copy, usually with a pithy comment about how his satisfaction was her utmost priority. He’d almost kissed her a hundred times during those exchanges.
“We won’t mention how you continually breached my security, forcing my cousin to run a full security update five times in the space of a single month.”
As well he should, Valentin thought with a scowl that came straight from his bear. His first few entries had been ridiculously easy.
“Also the zefir you somehow managed to leave on my desk while I wasn’t looking. The sweets would’ve been wasted if I hadn’t been aware of a family on the lower floor of my building who would appreciate them.”
“You didn’t eat even one?” he grumbled at her, the sound a roll of thunder.
“I was Silent,” was the prim response.
Bear and man both froze. “Was?”
“Partially.” A pause. “The process is gradual regardless of the individual concerned, but I have to be more careful than perhaps even an Arrow.”
He rubbed his jaw gently against her temple, cuddling her impossibly closer, no longer for himself but because he needed to look after her. “The suicide numbers you told me about?”
“Yes,” Silver said. “And no. I have a mutation in my genome.”
Valentin squeezed his eyes shut against a storm of emotion. For a Psy of his Starlight’s standing and power to admit a vulnerability, it was a trust so deep that he knew he had to reciprocate or he’d break something fragile that had barely formed. “My clan is hurt in a way no clan should ever be hurt. We’re broken in two.”
Silver shifted back enough that she could look into his face. “To the outside world, StoneWater remains a powerful clan no one wants as an enemy.”
She was trying to comfort him. Cool and in-control Silver Mercant felt his pain and wanted to ease it. Valentin had never had a chance resisting her. Now . . . now, he could easily become her slave.
Needing to caress her, he ran his hand over her hair, then, ah hell, he unraveled her neat twist so he could fist all those silky blonde strands in his hand. “Oops.”
“He’s a bear!” the children said in concert.
“Exactly.” Valentin nodded proudly. “He’ll grow strong enough for play soon.”
The solid little boy on his shoulders pulled his hair. “Can we see him?”
He felt the shift in the emotions that swirled around the adults and teens in the room. Instead of facing a question that could shatter the joy, he tumbled the cub over his head and into his lap. “What do you think you’re doing assaulting your alpha?” he grumbled. “Big bears have been known to eat small bears who aggravate them.”
He faked growling as he brought the cub’s arm to his mouth as if to take a bite.
Laughing too hard to speak, the boy just said, “Mishka!”
His infectious laughter distracted the little ones and the older ones weren’t about to poke that particular bear, so Valentin left the question unanswered. Not long afterward, a teenager asked another question, his tone wistful. “Are you having a big party to celebrate?”
“With dancing?” the girl next to him said.
Valentin nodded. “Of course. It’s a new life in the clan, a new voice in Denhome.” A Denhome that was far too empty right now.
Normally, he’d have said, “All are welcome,” but today, he swallowed those words, despite the hurt that caused inside him. “You should have a party, too.”
The cubs took up the cry, and he knew it’d be an easy wish for the adults to approve. What they’d have a difficult time with was that they hadn’t been invited to join in the celebration at Denhome. As he rose after interacting with the kids for fifteen more minutes, he saw shock in more than one pair of adult eyes.
There was anger, too. Clenched fists and red bursts on cheekbones.
Valentin held each and every gaze, showed them he was about to make the call he should’ve made months ago. The only thing that had held him back was his abiding love for his clan. But even an alpha bear’s heart couldn’t take blow after blow without breaking. “Celebrate,” he said in a quiet tone. “The rest can wait.”
• • •
HE returned to the den needing touch, needing comfort. He didn’t want it from any of his clan. He wanted it from a telepath who’d barely begun to accept her capacity to feel. But he’d go to her anyway. Not to the tech room, but to her own. He could scent the ice and fire of her in that direction, a thread that whispered his name.
Yet, though he wanted to arrow straight to her, he was alpha. His needs didn’t come first. He cuddled the little ones who ran over to him, spoke to clanmates who asked hesitantly about family or friends in the lost group. He discussed ongoing business matters with two of his seconds, congratulated the team that had so beautifully decorated the Cavern, went to the infirmary to see his newborn clanmate again, and dropped by the kitchen to say hi to the cooks working hard to put together a celebratory feast.
By the time he got to Silver, need was a wild creature gnawing on his bones.
He forced himself to knock.
Silver pulled open the door almost at once. She was still wearing the headset, had an organizer in hand. But the instant she saw him, she said, “I’ll call you back,” and took off the headset. Putting that and the organizer on the bed behind her, she held out a hand. “What’s wrong?”
He couldn’t speak.
Taking her hand, he stepped inside and kicked the door shut. Then he wrapped his arms around her and crushed her close, his body vibrating with the force of the emotions tearing him apart. Inside him, his bear roared in anguish.
Chapter 29
This child of my child, Silver, she is brilliant firelight, incandescent in her intelligence and inner strength. To watch her become Silent . . . it is the only way, and yet I cannot help but wonder if we will lose part of her under the weight of the conditioning.
—Personal diary entry, Ena Mercant (November 14, 2059)
VALENTIN EXPECTED SILVER to protest at how he’d engulfed her.
But Silver Mercant, he should’ve remembered, was made of sterner stuff.
She put her arms around him and, after a brief pause, began to stroke his back. He knew at that instant that he was the absolute focus of her attention. She wasn’t telepathing, wasn’t doing anything but concentrating on him. He knew that in his gut, as he knew each and every member of his clan—even the ones who’d walked away.
When Silver finally spoke, it was many minutes later. “I’ve never known you to be lost for words, Valyusha. I should take advantage of this momentous circumstance to tell you all the ways in which you’ve annoyed me since we first met.”
Light began to dawn inside him, his bear suffused with joy. His Starlight was playing with him. Really playing.
“First,” she said, “bringing over documents in hard copy but never in triplicate as requested. Then asking me to copy them for you right then because you wanted to be sure we didn’t mess with the contract.”
His lips curved. He remembered how she’d icily do the task personally rather than passing it on to her assistant. Then she’d hand him his copy, usually with a pithy comment about how his satisfaction was her utmost priority. He’d almost kissed her a hundred times during those exchanges.
“We won’t mention how you continually breached my security, forcing my cousin to run a full security update five times in the space of a single month.”
As well he should, Valentin thought with a scowl that came straight from his bear. His first few entries had been ridiculously easy.
“Also the zefir you somehow managed to leave on my desk while I wasn’t looking. The sweets would’ve been wasted if I hadn’t been aware of a family on the lower floor of my building who would appreciate them.”
“You didn’t eat even one?” he grumbled at her, the sound a roll of thunder.
“I was Silent,” was the prim response.
Bear and man both froze. “Was?”
“Partially.” A pause. “The process is gradual regardless of the individual concerned, but I have to be more careful than perhaps even an Arrow.”
He rubbed his jaw gently against her temple, cuddling her impossibly closer, no longer for himself but because he needed to look after her. “The suicide numbers you told me about?”
“Yes,” Silver said. “And no. I have a mutation in my genome.”
Valentin squeezed his eyes shut against a storm of emotion. For a Psy of his Starlight’s standing and power to admit a vulnerability, it was a trust so deep that he knew he had to reciprocate or he’d break something fragile that had barely formed. “My clan is hurt in a way no clan should ever be hurt. We’re broken in two.”
Silver shifted back enough that she could look into his face. “To the outside world, StoneWater remains a powerful clan no one wants as an enemy.”
She was trying to comfort him. Cool and in-control Silver Mercant felt his pain and wanted to ease it. Valentin had never had a chance resisting her. Now . . . now, he could easily become her slave.
Needing to caress her, he ran his hand over her hair, then, ah hell, he unraveled her neat twist so he could fist all those silky blonde strands in his hand. “Oops.”
