Slow Heat
Page 55
“I’m not…” she started, indignant and furious. How dare he tell her what she was thinking? But… dammit. She couldn’t deny that there was some element of truth to what he was saying. After all, it had been her who said that she didn’t want this relationship and that she wasn’t ready. He’d been onboard with that because his life was full. He didn’t have room for love.
It’d made him the perfect man for her.
The problem was that she hadn’t counted on falling for him. That had been a mistake, her first of many. Like keeping that fact from him. Or assuming that he’d fall too—and then keeping that to herself as well. She’d told him to keep it light and she’d gone ahead and done the exact opposite. She’d been the one giving mixed signals, screwing this all up.
Her experiences had changed her. In fact, they had made her grow up to be someone more independent, more sure of herself. That had been so difficult for Aaron to accept that he’d tried to change her back. It had cut right to the bone.
And yet here she was, trying to change Hud. God. She gasped at the pain of it and pressed a hand to her heart.
She felt Hud slip an arm around her and lead her to a chair. He crouched in front of her with his hands on her knees, staring into her face. “What just happened?”
She shook her head. “I’m trying to change you, change what you want, what you need.” She squeezed her eyes shut, horrified at herself.
“Bay. Bay, look at me,” he said, a quiet demand.
She opened her eyes, a little amused in spite of herself that his tone of authority still got her.
“You didn’t try to change me, you simply told me how you felt,” he said.
“Under the influence,” she reminded him.
“It was still the truth,” he said calmly. “You didn’t ask me to change a damn thing. You were open. That’s the way it’s supposed to be between two people who are—”
“Sleeping together?”
“It’s a little more than that,” he said dryly, even though he looked a little surprised to hear himself say so.
She heard a half laugh, half sob escape her, and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “How much more?” she asked from behind her fingers, unable to help herself.
“A hell of a lot.” He was gracious in defeat, standing and offering her his hand, pulling her to her feet and straight into his arms.
His kiss, deep and full of emotion, sealed the deal. No, he didn’t say the three little words I love you, but she didn’t need them. Words weren’t needed in moments like this, especially as he carried her to his suite, where he kicked the door shut and hit the lock.
“Be sure,” he said quietly, letting her slide slowly down his body until her feet touched the floor, looking into her eyes, his own dark and intense and serious.
She wrapped her arms around him tight, one hand reaching up to slide around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.
He hesitated for a beat and then came willingly, crushing her to him, burying his face in her neck. “Bailey,” he whispered. “You deserve better.”
“Sorry, but we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that.”
He opened his mouth but she put her finger over his lips. She knew he was mixed up about his past, how he felt it tumbling into his present, making his future hard to imagine. He hadn’t heard about Jacob. He had no idea how fast his mom was going to deteriorate.
It weighed on him. She got that.
And maybe she couldn’t help the boy he’d been, and she’d never been one to look to the future since, until recently, she hadn’t even had a future.
But the present… That she could handle. She had the present right here in her arms, and fears and worries aside, she couldn’t imagine ever letting go. “You know what I think?” she whispered. “I think you’re about fifty percent tough alpha male, thirty percent bravado, and twenty percent bullshit.”
He laughed. “In this case, bravado and bullshit might be the same thing.”
“Fifty-fifty then,” she said, unconcerned. She lifted a hand to his face, letting her fingers linger over the scruff lining his jaw. “I think you take what you want when you want it. Except when it comes to things that might actually want you back.”
He stilled and his muscles bunched, like maybe he was going to pull away. She wasn’t a match for him on the best of days, of which this wasn’t one, so she just wrapped herself around him like a monkey on a tree. Because if he thought he was going to bow on this conversation, he was sorely mistaken.
Instead, he backed to the chair in the corner of his room and sat, and because she was still wrapped around him, she ended up in his lap.
His hands went to her hips. To hold her there or to shove her free, she had no idea so she kept her grip tight just in case.
“You keep saying shit like that,” he said. “Like you know me to the core.”
“Maybe I do. Or I’m coming to.”
“It hasn’t been long enough.”
“What’s long enough?” she asked. “Life is in the moment, Hud. Life isn’t always eighty plus years, not for everyone. And besides, some things take only a blink. Maybe we’ve not dated in the traditional sense, but we’ve spent a lot of time together. On the scaffolding. On the mountain. On skis. Off skis…” She smiled. “Hours that add up to days. We’ve been in the trenches, hung out with your family. You’ve seen mine in action too. I know where you’ve come from and where you want to go. You know the same about me. If you add up all those parts and put them together, including the times when we were flirting while pretending not to even like each other, we’ve been together for a good long time.”
He stared at her. “That’s some creative accounting,” he finally said.
She smiled demurely. “I can be very creative, it’s true.”
He laughed, low in his throat, the sound sexy as hell and also… familiar. It made her warm from the inside out. “Do you want me to make the first move?” she asked. “Because I’m good at that too. I’m fearless these days.” She smiled. “Creative, fearless, and hungry for you. So hungry I’ll even beg.” She softened her voice, low and husky. “I’ll do whatever you want, Hud.”
She’d absolutely meant to seduce him, but she’d meant to do it while keeping the upper hand. Wrestling that from her, he surged upward, knocking them both out of the chair and onto the soft, thick carpet. Sprawled and knocked breathless, she stared up at him.
He gave her a smile that was so wicked and full of naughty intent, she felt herself go damp. Then he scooped her up and tossed her to the bed, following her down and pinning her to the mattress, his eyes heavy-lidded and sexy as he watched her reaction.
From flat on her back, weighed down by one hundred and eighty pounds of hard muscle, she tried to figure out how to wrestle the control back. She arched up into him.
“You’re a menace,” he said fondly, and pressed her deeper into the mattress, rubbing the neediest part of her to the hardest part of him, wrenching a moan from her throat.
“A gorgeous menace,” he murmured, and held her still, making her take what he offered.
And what exactly is he offering? a little voice asked. Nothing yet…
It’d made him the perfect man for her.
The problem was that she hadn’t counted on falling for him. That had been a mistake, her first of many. Like keeping that fact from him. Or assuming that he’d fall too—and then keeping that to herself as well. She’d told him to keep it light and she’d gone ahead and done the exact opposite. She’d been the one giving mixed signals, screwing this all up.
Her experiences had changed her. In fact, they had made her grow up to be someone more independent, more sure of herself. That had been so difficult for Aaron to accept that he’d tried to change her back. It had cut right to the bone.
And yet here she was, trying to change Hud. God. She gasped at the pain of it and pressed a hand to her heart.
She felt Hud slip an arm around her and lead her to a chair. He crouched in front of her with his hands on her knees, staring into her face. “What just happened?”
She shook her head. “I’m trying to change you, change what you want, what you need.” She squeezed her eyes shut, horrified at herself.
“Bay. Bay, look at me,” he said, a quiet demand.
She opened her eyes, a little amused in spite of herself that his tone of authority still got her.
“You didn’t try to change me, you simply told me how you felt,” he said.
“Under the influence,” she reminded him.
“It was still the truth,” he said calmly. “You didn’t ask me to change a damn thing. You were open. That’s the way it’s supposed to be between two people who are—”
“Sleeping together?”
“It’s a little more than that,” he said dryly, even though he looked a little surprised to hear himself say so.
She heard a half laugh, half sob escape her, and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “How much more?” she asked from behind her fingers, unable to help herself.
“A hell of a lot.” He was gracious in defeat, standing and offering her his hand, pulling her to her feet and straight into his arms.
His kiss, deep and full of emotion, sealed the deal. No, he didn’t say the three little words I love you, but she didn’t need them. Words weren’t needed in moments like this, especially as he carried her to his suite, where he kicked the door shut and hit the lock.
“Be sure,” he said quietly, letting her slide slowly down his body until her feet touched the floor, looking into her eyes, his own dark and intense and serious.
She wrapped her arms around him tight, one hand reaching up to slide around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.
He hesitated for a beat and then came willingly, crushing her to him, burying his face in her neck. “Bailey,” he whispered. “You deserve better.”
“Sorry, but we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that.”
He opened his mouth but she put her finger over his lips. She knew he was mixed up about his past, how he felt it tumbling into his present, making his future hard to imagine. He hadn’t heard about Jacob. He had no idea how fast his mom was going to deteriorate.
It weighed on him. She got that.
And maybe she couldn’t help the boy he’d been, and she’d never been one to look to the future since, until recently, she hadn’t even had a future.
But the present… That she could handle. She had the present right here in her arms, and fears and worries aside, she couldn’t imagine ever letting go. “You know what I think?” she whispered. “I think you’re about fifty percent tough alpha male, thirty percent bravado, and twenty percent bullshit.”
He laughed. “In this case, bravado and bullshit might be the same thing.”
“Fifty-fifty then,” she said, unconcerned. She lifted a hand to his face, letting her fingers linger over the scruff lining his jaw. “I think you take what you want when you want it. Except when it comes to things that might actually want you back.”
He stilled and his muscles bunched, like maybe he was going to pull away. She wasn’t a match for him on the best of days, of which this wasn’t one, so she just wrapped herself around him like a monkey on a tree. Because if he thought he was going to bow on this conversation, he was sorely mistaken.
Instead, he backed to the chair in the corner of his room and sat, and because she was still wrapped around him, she ended up in his lap.
His hands went to her hips. To hold her there or to shove her free, she had no idea so she kept her grip tight just in case.
“You keep saying shit like that,” he said. “Like you know me to the core.”
“Maybe I do. Or I’m coming to.”
“It hasn’t been long enough.”
“What’s long enough?” she asked. “Life is in the moment, Hud. Life isn’t always eighty plus years, not for everyone. And besides, some things take only a blink. Maybe we’ve not dated in the traditional sense, but we’ve spent a lot of time together. On the scaffolding. On the mountain. On skis. Off skis…” She smiled. “Hours that add up to days. We’ve been in the trenches, hung out with your family. You’ve seen mine in action too. I know where you’ve come from and where you want to go. You know the same about me. If you add up all those parts and put them together, including the times when we were flirting while pretending not to even like each other, we’ve been together for a good long time.”
He stared at her. “That’s some creative accounting,” he finally said.
She smiled demurely. “I can be very creative, it’s true.”
He laughed, low in his throat, the sound sexy as hell and also… familiar. It made her warm from the inside out. “Do you want me to make the first move?” she asked. “Because I’m good at that too. I’m fearless these days.” She smiled. “Creative, fearless, and hungry for you. So hungry I’ll even beg.” She softened her voice, low and husky. “I’ll do whatever you want, Hud.”
She’d absolutely meant to seduce him, but she’d meant to do it while keeping the upper hand. Wrestling that from her, he surged upward, knocking them both out of the chair and onto the soft, thick carpet. Sprawled and knocked breathless, she stared up at him.
He gave her a smile that was so wicked and full of naughty intent, she felt herself go damp. Then he scooped her up and tossed her to the bed, following her down and pinning her to the mattress, his eyes heavy-lidded and sexy as he watched her reaction.
From flat on her back, weighed down by one hundred and eighty pounds of hard muscle, she tried to figure out how to wrestle the control back. She arched up into him.
“You’re a menace,” he said fondly, and pressed her deeper into the mattress, rubbing the neediest part of her to the hardest part of him, wrenching a moan from her throat.
“A gorgeous menace,” he murmured, and held her still, making her take what he offered.
And what exactly is he offering? a little voice asked. Nothing yet…
