Something for the Pain
Page 4
MY HEART IS RACING SO damn hard that it’s making it hard to concentrate on the road. Alex is following behind me in his massive truck and I can’t stop looking back at him through the rearview mirror to check his expressions. I never meant for him to get upset about Lucas asking me to move in with him, or about our open relationship. There was no way I would have agreed to live with Lucas unless I knew for a fact that Alex would move in as well. Alex and I just have that connection. He would do just about anything for me and the same goes for me over him.
We have experienced everything together growing up, even our first kiss. Even though I was only eleven and he twelve, still, it was with him. Nothing can replace that. I was so scared that no one would want to kiss me. As soon as I told Alex about my fear, he smiled, licked his lips, and pulled me in for a kiss. It was soft, heartwarming, and over before I could breathe. We never spoke of it again, but it still haunts me to this day. I may have been young, but the spark I felt was unforgettable. He stepped up and made sure I knew that he cared and would always be there for me. I love him for that. Always will.
This . . . this is no different for me. I really do want him here for this big moment again. I want my first real place to be with him. He’s my world and he knows it. The only first I couldn’t give him was my virginity, because it would have ruined everything. I can’t even picture losing him as my best friend, and that’s what would happen by letting my feelings or sexual attraction for him get in the way. That is exactly why I gave it to Lucas instead. Alex means too much.
Pulling up in front of the huge brick house, I smile and kill the engine as I look behind me to see Alex pull up half way in the grass. He’s always been good at shitty parking. I know he does it on purpose, but after all these years it still makes me laugh.
He jumps out of his truck and runs his hand through his thick, dark hair, before pulling my car door open and reaching for my hand. “You had better sell me on this house, Tripp. It better be good enough to make my cock hard.”
I can’t help my eyes as they look down at the crotch of his fitted jeans. Damn, those are some nice jeans. He catches me looking, so I quickly pull my eyes away and clear my throat, as if that makes it any less obvious. I’m not a shy person, but I’m trying my best with him. I need him too much to ruin what we have. “Oh trust me. This house even gives me a lady boner. You will love it.”
His hand quickly reaches behind me to shut my car door. Then he flashes me a sexy grin, pops his neck, and pulls me by my hand. “It’s that good, huh?”
I don’t even get a chance to answer, before he reaches down and snatches the key that is hanging down in front of me. I feel the back of his hand accidently brush against my private, giving me instant goose bumps. “Hey. Watch it. That was pretty damn close to my . . .”
He licks his lips and his eyes trail down my body. “Pussy,” he growls. “I know.”
My face heats and I can barely even speak “Yeah . . . no, I mean . . .” I take a deep breath. “Just watch yourself, Carter.”
He chuckles as he sticks the key into the lock. “I was looking for your lady boner.”
He opens the door and then looks back at me with a sly grin. Fuck me, those dimples do things to a woman’s body. “I didn’t find it. I guess next time I’ll have to search deeper.”
The intensity of his gray eyes lock with mine, causing me to swallow hard and try to hide my blushing face. I don’t know if he has figured it out over the years, but his words and teasing leave me extremely hot and bothered. I try my best to hide it, because I know he’s only joking, but the fact that it sometimes makes it hard to breathe is definitely something I have stopped trying to internally deny. Hiding it from my best friend is almost as hard as not breathing. I find it extremely hard to hide anything from him at all.
“Well, lead the way, beautiful.” He steps back and leans against the door with his legs crossed in front of him. “I’m waiting to get hard.”
I laugh softly, but turn my face away to get better control over my wandering eyes. “And how will I know if it makes you hard?” I tilt my head a little in question, but keep my eyes looking straight ahead.
“Oh you will see it. Trust me.” I hear the door close before I feel his body pressed against mine. He’s so close, yet not close enough. I want him to touch me. I crave it. Just once. “So far, I’m not impressed.”
I spin around with quickness and look up at him, about to hand him his ass. “What do you mean?” His face turns up into a smile to show me that he’s only trying to work me up, so shutting my mouth I give his chest a shove. It doesn’t even make him shift. Not a single inch. Not like when we were kids and we used to play fight. Back then he was tall and twig like, giving me an actual chance. Now . . . mmm . . . now he is all man: tall, thick, strong, and sexy. “You seriously need to stop working out so much. I can barely even move you now. Is that all you do when you’re not tattooing.”
He bites his bottom lip and crosses his arms across his firm chest. “That and have sex. What the hell else am I supposed to be doing? I’m kind of limited.” I watch his teeth as they dig into his full bottom lip before letting go. He’s always had a thing for biting his bottom lip. Doesn’t he realize how damn sexy and distracting that is? I’m sure he must be aware of it.
So. Stop. It.
“Okay . . . you could have kept that to yourself.” I wave my arms around, motioning around the huge empty space, preparing to give him a tour. “Well, this is the living room, as you can see. It’s a good size. Fireplace over here, huge picture windows over there, and it leads straight into the kitchen.” I turn behind me. “This way over to the right leads to the stairs and the hallway.”
He looks around with his arms crossed and his forehead crinkled. His almost silver eyes are unreadable at the moment. He’s trying to make me nervous. He knows he’s got a good poker face too. I hate it!
I exhale and start walking towards the kitchen with him following at my heels. “Alright, pain in the ass. You’re playing hardball. Maybe the kitchen will better impress you.”
Alex steps in behind me and looks around. His eyes scan over the stainless steel stove and fridge before his eyes stop on the bar in the back right corner. His eyebrows scrunch together in thought. “Are you going to be our sexy little bartender?”
We have experienced everything together growing up, even our first kiss. Even though I was only eleven and he twelve, still, it was with him. Nothing can replace that. I was so scared that no one would want to kiss me. As soon as I told Alex about my fear, he smiled, licked his lips, and pulled me in for a kiss. It was soft, heartwarming, and over before I could breathe. We never spoke of it again, but it still haunts me to this day. I may have been young, but the spark I felt was unforgettable. He stepped up and made sure I knew that he cared and would always be there for me. I love him for that. Always will.
This . . . this is no different for me. I really do want him here for this big moment again. I want my first real place to be with him. He’s my world and he knows it. The only first I couldn’t give him was my virginity, because it would have ruined everything. I can’t even picture losing him as my best friend, and that’s what would happen by letting my feelings or sexual attraction for him get in the way. That is exactly why I gave it to Lucas instead. Alex means too much.
Pulling up in front of the huge brick house, I smile and kill the engine as I look behind me to see Alex pull up half way in the grass. He’s always been good at shitty parking. I know he does it on purpose, but after all these years it still makes me laugh.
He jumps out of his truck and runs his hand through his thick, dark hair, before pulling my car door open and reaching for my hand. “You had better sell me on this house, Tripp. It better be good enough to make my cock hard.”
I can’t help my eyes as they look down at the crotch of his fitted jeans. Damn, those are some nice jeans. He catches me looking, so I quickly pull my eyes away and clear my throat, as if that makes it any less obvious. I’m not a shy person, but I’m trying my best with him. I need him too much to ruin what we have. “Oh trust me. This house even gives me a lady boner. You will love it.”
His hand quickly reaches behind me to shut my car door. Then he flashes me a sexy grin, pops his neck, and pulls me by my hand. “It’s that good, huh?”
I don’t even get a chance to answer, before he reaches down and snatches the key that is hanging down in front of me. I feel the back of his hand accidently brush against my private, giving me instant goose bumps. “Hey. Watch it. That was pretty damn close to my . . .”
He licks his lips and his eyes trail down my body. “Pussy,” he growls. “I know.”
My face heats and I can barely even speak “Yeah . . . no, I mean . . .” I take a deep breath. “Just watch yourself, Carter.”
He chuckles as he sticks the key into the lock. “I was looking for your lady boner.”
He opens the door and then looks back at me with a sly grin. Fuck me, those dimples do things to a woman’s body. “I didn’t find it. I guess next time I’ll have to search deeper.”
The intensity of his gray eyes lock with mine, causing me to swallow hard and try to hide my blushing face. I don’t know if he has figured it out over the years, but his words and teasing leave me extremely hot and bothered. I try my best to hide it, because I know he’s only joking, but the fact that it sometimes makes it hard to breathe is definitely something I have stopped trying to internally deny. Hiding it from my best friend is almost as hard as not breathing. I find it extremely hard to hide anything from him at all.
“Well, lead the way, beautiful.” He steps back and leans against the door with his legs crossed in front of him. “I’m waiting to get hard.”
I laugh softly, but turn my face away to get better control over my wandering eyes. “And how will I know if it makes you hard?” I tilt my head a little in question, but keep my eyes looking straight ahead.
“Oh you will see it. Trust me.” I hear the door close before I feel his body pressed against mine. He’s so close, yet not close enough. I want him to touch me. I crave it. Just once. “So far, I’m not impressed.”
I spin around with quickness and look up at him, about to hand him his ass. “What do you mean?” His face turns up into a smile to show me that he’s only trying to work me up, so shutting my mouth I give his chest a shove. It doesn’t even make him shift. Not a single inch. Not like when we were kids and we used to play fight. Back then he was tall and twig like, giving me an actual chance. Now . . . mmm . . . now he is all man: tall, thick, strong, and sexy. “You seriously need to stop working out so much. I can barely even move you now. Is that all you do when you’re not tattooing.”
He bites his bottom lip and crosses his arms across his firm chest. “That and have sex. What the hell else am I supposed to be doing? I’m kind of limited.” I watch his teeth as they dig into his full bottom lip before letting go. He’s always had a thing for biting his bottom lip. Doesn’t he realize how damn sexy and distracting that is? I’m sure he must be aware of it.
So. Stop. It.
“Okay . . . you could have kept that to yourself.” I wave my arms around, motioning around the huge empty space, preparing to give him a tour. “Well, this is the living room, as you can see. It’s a good size. Fireplace over here, huge picture windows over there, and it leads straight into the kitchen.” I turn behind me. “This way over to the right leads to the stairs and the hallway.”
He looks around with his arms crossed and his forehead crinkled. His almost silver eyes are unreadable at the moment. He’s trying to make me nervous. He knows he’s got a good poker face too. I hate it!
I exhale and start walking towards the kitchen with him following at my heels. “Alright, pain in the ass. You’re playing hardball. Maybe the kitchen will better impress you.”
Alex steps in behind me and looks around. His eyes scan over the stainless steel stove and fridge before his eyes stop on the bar in the back right corner. His eyebrows scrunch together in thought. “Are you going to be our sexy little bartender?”
