Something Forever
Page 14
Max leaned into me. We were sitting upright, facing each other. “Did you just tell me you’re pregnant?”
“Yes.” I nodded to confirm.
There was clearly one expression on his face: he had been given the shock of his life. “I don’t understand. How could this have happened? I mean...we were careful. I mean...I thought you were on the pill. I used a condom except that one time.”
His answers were exactly what I had predicted, but hearing them was a whole different story. It hurt me more than I had imagined. It had sounded and felt differently in my mind when I played out the scenario. Max got out of bed. While he paced around the room, he looked at the ground, then at the ceiling. I could imagine what was going through his mind, possibly having the same questions I did.
I answered before he could ask. “I think it happened when you tied me up on the stairs.”
Max froze and focused his eyes on the floor again. I could tell he was thinking of that night. The one he thought I was going to leave him. The very same night I thought I had lost him.
“I didn’t come inside of you,” he mumbled under his breath.
Suddenly, anger flashed through me. “So now this is all my fault? You think I planned this? That I purposely got pregnant. You knew I hadn’t had sex in three years. Why would I be on the pill for no reason?” Tears started to blur my vision, but I would not let them fall. I didn’t want Max’s sympathy.
Confused, Max glanced at me. “Jenna, I didn’t think that. I’m sorry. I’m trying to…” Max raked his hair back. “I’m trying to...understand. Are you sure? Did you take a pregnancy test?”
I could understand what he was going through. After all, I’d had more than a week to take in the news and adjust since I first found out from the home pregnancy test. I had enough time to come to terms with it, but he’d just found out. Of course he would act shocked and confused. He must have millions of thoughts running through his mind right now, just as I had.
“Yes. I saw a doctor to confirm,” I replied, recalling the appointment that I’d gone to several days ago.
The door creaked opened. “Ms. Jenna Mefferd,” Anne, the petite nurse I saw once a year, greeted me.
I headed to her with a smile. Even knowing what the test result would be, I needed to confirm with my doctor. I doubted the pregnancy test was false, but I needed to see the doctor to make sure everything was fine.
Once inside, Anne became casual and talkative. “What brings you here today, Jenna? Just the annual pap smear?”
I didn’t know why, but I was embarrassed to tell her. It was the fact that I wasn’t married. It was the fact that I was a straightforward type of girl. I had everything planned: the age I would get married, when I would have kids...preferably after marriage. However, this...this was never in my plan.
Unable to look her in the eyes, I said, “I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I’m here to double check and see what I need to do.” I purposely made sure to flash my engagement ring.
Anne smiled at me. She was genuinely happy for me. “Congratulations. I see that you’re engaged.”
That was not the response I had expected. I should be happy, too, just like her. I was supposed to glow, like how I read in an article. It said that pregnant women glowed, but I was sick...utterly wanting to throw up sick. There was nothing pleasant about this.
“Dr. Howard will be here shortly.” After she jotted down stuff on my file, she closed the door behind her.
When the door opened, I snapped out of my thoughts. “Hello, Dr. Howard.” He looked tired today.
“Hello, Jenna.” He got right to the point. “Why don’t we take a test, just to make sure? Home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate, but we like to confirm.” He handed me a cup. “Urinate up to the line. Lift up the metal door, then stick this cup inside it.”
“Thanks,” I said, and did as instructed.
After about ten minutes, Dr. Howard came back. “Jenna, good news. The test came out positive. Congratulations.”
Dr. Howard and Anne were happy for me—and part of me was, too—but a part of me wished this was a dream.
“How are you feeling?” Max asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. He didn’t let me finish as he continued to stand at a distance. I could tell his mind was still reeling. I knew this from the way his eyes were flickering, searching for words. “You’re weren’t feeling well before you left to Vegas because...I understand now. You should have told me, Jenna.” I didn’t like his scolding tone at all. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until now.”
“How could I when I needed to come to grips with this news, and I didn’t know how you would feel?”
“How long did you know?”
“Little more than a week.”
“More than a week?” Max gripped his hair in frustration, then took my hands into his. “You should’ve told me right away. We are responsible adults. We created this child together. I have to be honest with you, I want to have lots of babies with you, but not right now.”
Suddenly, my blood pressure shot up and my heart thumped erratically. “What do you mean? You...you don’t want our baby?”
“No, Jenna. That is not what I meant. You know what my plans were.” He paused, running his hand down his face. “I just need some time to adjust. This is a big, life-changing factor. I think...I think we should also get married as soon as possible, but only if you want to.”
“Yes.” I nodded to confirm.
There was clearly one expression on his face: he had been given the shock of his life. “I don’t understand. How could this have happened? I mean...we were careful. I mean...I thought you were on the pill. I used a condom except that one time.”
His answers were exactly what I had predicted, but hearing them was a whole different story. It hurt me more than I had imagined. It had sounded and felt differently in my mind when I played out the scenario. Max got out of bed. While he paced around the room, he looked at the ground, then at the ceiling. I could imagine what was going through his mind, possibly having the same questions I did.
I answered before he could ask. “I think it happened when you tied me up on the stairs.”
Max froze and focused his eyes on the floor again. I could tell he was thinking of that night. The one he thought I was going to leave him. The very same night I thought I had lost him.
“I didn’t come inside of you,” he mumbled under his breath.
Suddenly, anger flashed through me. “So now this is all my fault? You think I planned this? That I purposely got pregnant. You knew I hadn’t had sex in three years. Why would I be on the pill for no reason?” Tears started to blur my vision, but I would not let them fall. I didn’t want Max’s sympathy.
Confused, Max glanced at me. “Jenna, I didn’t think that. I’m sorry. I’m trying to…” Max raked his hair back. “I’m trying to...understand. Are you sure? Did you take a pregnancy test?”
I could understand what he was going through. After all, I’d had more than a week to take in the news and adjust since I first found out from the home pregnancy test. I had enough time to come to terms with it, but he’d just found out. Of course he would act shocked and confused. He must have millions of thoughts running through his mind right now, just as I had.
“Yes. I saw a doctor to confirm,” I replied, recalling the appointment that I’d gone to several days ago.
The door creaked opened. “Ms. Jenna Mefferd,” Anne, the petite nurse I saw once a year, greeted me.
I headed to her with a smile. Even knowing what the test result would be, I needed to confirm with my doctor. I doubted the pregnancy test was false, but I needed to see the doctor to make sure everything was fine.
Once inside, Anne became casual and talkative. “What brings you here today, Jenna? Just the annual pap smear?”
I didn’t know why, but I was embarrassed to tell her. It was the fact that I wasn’t married. It was the fact that I was a straightforward type of girl. I had everything planned: the age I would get married, when I would have kids...preferably after marriage. However, this...this was never in my plan.
Unable to look her in the eyes, I said, “I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I’m here to double check and see what I need to do.” I purposely made sure to flash my engagement ring.
Anne smiled at me. She was genuinely happy for me. “Congratulations. I see that you’re engaged.”
That was not the response I had expected. I should be happy, too, just like her. I was supposed to glow, like how I read in an article. It said that pregnant women glowed, but I was sick...utterly wanting to throw up sick. There was nothing pleasant about this.
“Dr. Howard will be here shortly.” After she jotted down stuff on my file, she closed the door behind her.
When the door opened, I snapped out of my thoughts. “Hello, Dr. Howard.” He looked tired today.
“Hello, Jenna.” He got right to the point. “Why don’t we take a test, just to make sure? Home pregnancy tests are pretty accurate, but we like to confirm.” He handed me a cup. “Urinate up to the line. Lift up the metal door, then stick this cup inside it.”
“Thanks,” I said, and did as instructed.
After about ten minutes, Dr. Howard came back. “Jenna, good news. The test came out positive. Congratulations.”
Dr. Howard and Anne were happy for me—and part of me was, too—but a part of me wished this was a dream.
“How are you feeling?” Max asked, breaking me out of my thoughts. He didn’t let me finish as he continued to stand at a distance. I could tell his mind was still reeling. I knew this from the way his eyes were flickering, searching for words. “You’re weren’t feeling well before you left to Vegas because...I understand now. You should have told me, Jenna.” I didn’t like his scolding tone at all. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me until now.”
“How could I when I needed to come to grips with this news, and I didn’t know how you would feel?”
“How long did you know?”
“Little more than a week.”
“More than a week?” Max gripped his hair in frustration, then took my hands into his. “You should’ve told me right away. We are responsible adults. We created this child together. I have to be honest with you, I want to have lots of babies with you, but not right now.”
Suddenly, my blood pressure shot up and my heart thumped erratically. “What do you mean? You...you don’t want our baby?”
“No, Jenna. That is not what I meant. You know what my plans were.” He paused, running his hand down his face. “I just need some time to adjust. This is a big, life-changing factor. I think...I think we should also get married as soon as possible, but only if you want to.”
