Souls Unfractured
Page 14
A tear fell down her cheek.
“Tell me what you fear is sinful.” Phebe tried to pull away. “No!” I commanded. She froze. “You will tell me, now!”
Phebe’s lip trembled, but she forced herself to whisper, “It is… it is my sister. It is my Rebek—,” She corrected the name. “It is my Delilah.”
I immediately dropped my hand. Phebe lowered her head once more. “I told you it was sinful, my Lord. I am wrong to keep thinking of her. To keep thinking of what was done to her all those weeks ago.”
I stepped back. I thought of Delilah’s face as I told her to confess her sins to me, when she had been recaptured from the Hangmen compound. She had refused. And I had washed my hands of her. She was Mae’s sister. I could not deal with someone Mae loved. She was still my weakness.
Judah took over her instruction as I took myself into seclusion, to atone for my weakness over that woman. Salome. My destined wife.
I never asked Judah what was done to Delilah. I could not. I could not bring myself to hear what she received in punishment for disobeying our ways.
Phebe interrupted my reflection. She lifted her head and cried, “My Lord, I cannot rid my mind of what was done to her. Of what she looked like when I found her on the Hill of Perdition, hanging from a stake and being spiritually cleansed by the brothers.” She sobbed, and continued, “Then seeing the devil’s men come to retrieve her. Of what they did to the brothers in their rage.”
I swallowed as she talked of the fallen brothers, of their punishments, of Delilah, of the Hangmen breaking into my commune unnoticed, severing the one remaining link I had to Mae.
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I reassured, “Truly, it was too much for you to witness, Sister. For you to see the brother’s slain bodies.”
Phebe cried harder and shook her head. “No…” she whispered. I pulled back my hand.
“No, what?”
Sniffing, Phebe wiped at her eyes, then confessed, “I sin because I rejoice at what the devil’s men did. I am happy that they killed our brothers.” Her blue eyes stared straight ahead, losing focus. “After what they had just done to Delilah, I was happy. They went further than Judah had commanded, even though what he ordered was not at all based on our scripture. But… but I could not speak up. I dared not question a command of the Prophet’s Hand.”
Her eyes fixed on mine and she said coldly, “They violated her. They took her, they hurt her over and over again. But that was not supposed to be her punishment. Judah… Judah ordered them to make Delilah suffer. Of course, I was not meant to have heard his command. But… but I did.”
Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders and continued. “When the devil’s men took Delilah; when the man with long blond hair saved her and held her protectively in his arms… I was happy.”
Phebe ran her hand over her forehead, clearly in distress.
What she had said raced through my mind. Judah had issued a punishment not-of-scripture? Delilah had been put on a stake? They had… repeatedly taken her?
Phebe was staring at me as I lowered my gaze. “My Lord, I believe that if you had issued the punishment, it would not have been of that nature.” She sucked in a breath and boldly asked, “Am I correct?”
I fought to breathe at the thought of what Phebe had so graphically described. But she was wrong. Surely she had to be wrong?
I rallied, then asked, “You were tied up to a tree, were you not? Judah reported that his consort was found tied to a tree, dehydrated and distressed.”
What looked like hope quickly disappeared from Phebe’s eyes. “Yes, my Lord.”
Folding my arms over my chest, I probed, “So you may not have seen what you think you did?”
“I—” Her mouth opened then quickly closed.
“The devil’s men tied you up, Sister. Your body was injured when you were found, was it not?”
She nodded. “Because of the many hours I was there, not because those men hurt me.” She blinked. Then blinked again. “In fact, the man with the long brown hair who tied me up was gentle. And he… and he stared at me the entire time. There was something in his eyes. He—” she stopped speaking when her cheeks filled with redness.
My jaw ached with how hard I was gritting my teeth. I believed in Judah. I believed my brother would not have sanctioned such acts against the Cursed Delilah. I looked to Phebe again. Her big eyes were staring up at me, rather too intently.
My stomach rolled when I realized this could be a ruse. Containing my anger, I asked, “Are you sure you are not simply bitter over Judah taking a second? One, by his own confession, who is a perfect consort? And all of this, this imagining, is merely to regain his attention?”
Phebe’s face paled to a deathly white. “No, my Lord.”
“But can you see how you could have imagined it all due to your dehydration and many hours tied up, unable to move?”
Phebe paused then, eventually, her shoulders sagged. “Yes, my Lord.”
Relief filled my veins and I stepped back. “Do you have duties to perform tonight, Sister?”
“Yes,” she replied, “I am the head Sacred Sister. We are to leave the commune tonight to spread the Lord’s love.”
“No,” I snapped. Phebe flinched. “You are to go into seclusion until you rid yourself of your sinful thoughts. I will inform Judah.”
Phebe’s eyes became eerily wide. “But, my Lord. Judah, he will—”
“Tell me what you fear is sinful.” Phebe tried to pull away. “No!” I commanded. She froze. “You will tell me, now!”
Phebe’s lip trembled, but she forced herself to whisper, “It is… it is my sister. It is my Rebek—,” She corrected the name. “It is my Delilah.”
I immediately dropped my hand. Phebe lowered her head once more. “I told you it was sinful, my Lord. I am wrong to keep thinking of her. To keep thinking of what was done to her all those weeks ago.”
I stepped back. I thought of Delilah’s face as I told her to confess her sins to me, when she had been recaptured from the Hangmen compound. She had refused. And I had washed my hands of her. She was Mae’s sister. I could not deal with someone Mae loved. She was still my weakness.
Judah took over her instruction as I took myself into seclusion, to atone for my weakness over that woman. Salome. My destined wife.
I never asked Judah what was done to Delilah. I could not. I could not bring myself to hear what she received in punishment for disobeying our ways.
Phebe interrupted my reflection. She lifted her head and cried, “My Lord, I cannot rid my mind of what was done to her. Of what she looked like when I found her on the Hill of Perdition, hanging from a stake and being spiritually cleansed by the brothers.” She sobbed, and continued, “Then seeing the devil’s men come to retrieve her. Of what they did to the brothers in their rage.”
I swallowed as she talked of the fallen brothers, of their punishments, of Delilah, of the Hangmen breaking into my commune unnoticed, severing the one remaining link I had to Mae.
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I reassured, “Truly, it was too much for you to witness, Sister. For you to see the brother’s slain bodies.”
Phebe cried harder and shook her head. “No…” she whispered. I pulled back my hand.
“No, what?”
Sniffing, Phebe wiped at her eyes, then confessed, “I sin because I rejoice at what the devil’s men did. I am happy that they killed our brothers.” Her blue eyes stared straight ahead, losing focus. “After what they had just done to Delilah, I was happy. They went further than Judah had commanded, even though what he ordered was not at all based on our scripture. But… but I could not speak up. I dared not question a command of the Prophet’s Hand.”
Her eyes fixed on mine and she said coldly, “They violated her. They took her, they hurt her over and over again. But that was not supposed to be her punishment. Judah… Judah ordered them to make Delilah suffer. Of course, I was not meant to have heard his command. But… but I did.”
Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders and continued. “When the devil’s men took Delilah; when the man with long blond hair saved her and held her protectively in his arms… I was happy.”
Phebe ran her hand over her forehead, clearly in distress.
What she had said raced through my mind. Judah had issued a punishment not-of-scripture? Delilah had been put on a stake? They had… repeatedly taken her?
Phebe was staring at me as I lowered my gaze. “My Lord, I believe that if you had issued the punishment, it would not have been of that nature.” She sucked in a breath and boldly asked, “Am I correct?”
I fought to breathe at the thought of what Phebe had so graphically described. But she was wrong. Surely she had to be wrong?
I rallied, then asked, “You were tied up to a tree, were you not? Judah reported that his consort was found tied to a tree, dehydrated and distressed.”
What looked like hope quickly disappeared from Phebe’s eyes. “Yes, my Lord.”
Folding my arms over my chest, I probed, “So you may not have seen what you think you did?”
“I—” Her mouth opened then quickly closed.
“The devil’s men tied you up, Sister. Your body was injured when you were found, was it not?”
She nodded. “Because of the many hours I was there, not because those men hurt me.” She blinked. Then blinked again. “In fact, the man with the long brown hair who tied me up was gentle. And he… and he stared at me the entire time. There was something in his eyes. He—” she stopped speaking when her cheeks filled with redness.
My jaw ached with how hard I was gritting my teeth. I believed in Judah. I believed my brother would not have sanctioned such acts against the Cursed Delilah. I looked to Phebe again. Her big eyes were staring up at me, rather too intently.
My stomach rolled when I realized this could be a ruse. Containing my anger, I asked, “Are you sure you are not simply bitter over Judah taking a second? One, by his own confession, who is a perfect consort? And all of this, this imagining, is merely to regain his attention?”
Phebe’s face paled to a deathly white. “No, my Lord.”
“But can you see how you could have imagined it all due to your dehydration and many hours tied up, unable to move?”
Phebe paused then, eventually, her shoulders sagged. “Yes, my Lord.”
Relief filled my veins and I stepped back. “Do you have duties to perform tonight, Sister?”
“Yes,” she replied, “I am the head Sacred Sister. We are to leave the commune tonight to spread the Lord’s love.”
“No,” I snapped. Phebe flinched. “You are to go into seclusion until you rid yourself of your sinful thoughts. I will inform Judah.”
Phebe’s eyes became eerily wide. “But, my Lord. Judah, he will—”
