Stealing Harper
Page 38
“Bree called me a few times, begging me to come check on you. Looks like they’re all heading home today, too.”
“Chase”—she turned to look at me, her eyes wide and terrified—“what should I do?”
“I can’t answer that for you, Princess. No one can.” Her question had the ache in my chest already starting, and God I didn’t want to ask her my next question. Even though I would have told you that just thirty minutes ago I knew what the answer was, by then I was worried that I didn’t. I looked at her hands, which she seemed so fascinated with all of a sudden, and forced it out. “Who do you want?”
“I don’t know!” she blurted out, and looked back at me. “I want you, Chase, but I can’t hurt him. I won’t hurt him any more than I have. I love him too much.”
My jaw dropped, and the air left my body. What the hell? Does that mean . . . ? I should have known, but I—I couldn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do without her?
“No matter who I choose, people will get hurt. And then what happens if I leave him? He lives in your house, Chase. He’ll have to see us together, and it will kill him. I can’t do that to him! He loves me, he hopped the first flight he could because he was scared for me and wants to come back to take care of me. How am I supposed to tell him I’m in love with someone else after that? If I left him for you, it would be bad for us. He’d come after you, the guys in the house would take sides. We would be miserable. My body craves you, Chase, but I feel like I’m being torn in two. I just—I need a few weeks to think about this. Can you please give me that?”
But I love you, too. Couldn’t she see that? Couldn’t she see she was crushing me? I ground my jaw to keep from saying any of that. If I wanted to win her, I couldn’t force her to choose me; she needed to come to me on her own. “Are you going to ask him to give you time, too?”
“No, I can’t.”
The f**k did she just say? “So you’re just going to go back to him? Pretend like last night never happened? You’re so worried about hurting everyone else, do you even realize you’ll be hurting me?” I got off the bed. “Damn it, Harper, don’t you see that? I’m the one that will have to watch you with your boyfriend while waiting for you to figure out what you want!” I didn’t look at her again as I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
I stormed down the stairs and paced back and forth in the living room before deciding to go back upstairs to just grab my shit and leave. But before I knew it, I had the phone to my ear.
“ ’Mmm ’lo?”
“Bri, put Marissa on the phone.”
“Chase?” he grumbled. “Fuck man, do you know what time it is.”
“No; put Marissa on the phone.”
“Shit, are you crying?” He sounded more alert now.
“No I’m—” I rubbed my hand over my eyes and pulled it back to find them wet. “Just put her on the damn phone!”
There was shuffling before I heard Marissa’s groggy voice; I knew that Brian had put me on speaker, but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m losing the only girl I will ever love; not much else matters. “Chach, what’s wrong? Brian said you’re crying?”
“I’m losing her, Riss, I’m losing Harper, and I don’t know what to do. I’m five seconds from leaving again, but I need to know if I’d f**k up everything for good by doing that.”
“Well, what happened?”
“I slept with her last night—”
“What?” they both yelled.
“—and now Brandon’s coming back, and she wants me to give her time, but I know she’s just saying that. She’s going back to him, like nothing between us ever f**king happened!”
“Hold up! Rewind. You slept with her?” Marissa sounded a little more composed now, “Okay, either Brian hasn’t been keeping me updated or some serious shit went down yesterday, so tell me everything.” She covered the speaker, and whispered to Brian, “I’m gonna punch you in the throat if you didn’t tell me this.”
“Riss, he didn’t know, so give him a break.” I stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up as I told them everything that led up to what happened last night and everything that happened this morning; the ache in my chest growing as I relived it all. “I can’t lose her. But she basically just threw last night in my face now that her boyfriend is coming back, and once again, I’m nothing to her.”
“God, Chase,” Brian said, “when did you become such a f**king girl?”
“I know”—I sighed—“I freakin’ feel like it.”
“Screw you, babe!” Marissa shouted, and suddenly she was talking loud enough I figured I was off speaker. “Chase, she loves you. You aren’t nothing to her, she’s just confused. She doesn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend is coming back, and she just admitted to his best friend that she’s in love with him too and lost her v-card to him. She’s probably freaking out. If she said she needs a few weeks, then give the girl a few weeks. But don’t just leave her, Chach.”
I snorted at her nickname for me. “Do you think this is all one big game to her?”
“No way. If it were, she wouldn’t have a problem leaving you.”
Just before I could ask how Marissa was sure she wouldn’t, the worst sound in the world sounded over the running water of the shower. “Fuck.”
“Chase”—she turned to look at me, her eyes wide and terrified—“what should I do?”
“I can’t answer that for you, Princess. No one can.” Her question had the ache in my chest already starting, and God I didn’t want to ask her my next question. Even though I would have told you that just thirty minutes ago I knew what the answer was, by then I was worried that I didn’t. I looked at her hands, which she seemed so fascinated with all of a sudden, and forced it out. “Who do you want?”
“I don’t know!” she blurted out, and looked back at me. “I want you, Chase, but I can’t hurt him. I won’t hurt him any more than I have. I love him too much.”
My jaw dropped, and the air left my body. What the hell? Does that mean . . . ? I should have known, but I—I couldn’t. What the hell am I supposed to do without her?
“No matter who I choose, people will get hurt. And then what happens if I leave him? He lives in your house, Chase. He’ll have to see us together, and it will kill him. I can’t do that to him! He loves me, he hopped the first flight he could because he was scared for me and wants to come back to take care of me. How am I supposed to tell him I’m in love with someone else after that? If I left him for you, it would be bad for us. He’d come after you, the guys in the house would take sides. We would be miserable. My body craves you, Chase, but I feel like I’m being torn in two. I just—I need a few weeks to think about this. Can you please give me that?”
But I love you, too. Couldn’t she see that? Couldn’t she see she was crushing me? I ground my jaw to keep from saying any of that. If I wanted to win her, I couldn’t force her to choose me; she needed to come to me on her own. “Are you going to ask him to give you time, too?”
“No, I can’t.”
The f**k did she just say? “So you’re just going to go back to him? Pretend like last night never happened? You’re so worried about hurting everyone else, do you even realize you’ll be hurting me?” I got off the bed. “Damn it, Harper, don’t you see that? I’m the one that will have to watch you with your boyfriend while waiting for you to figure out what you want!” I didn’t look at her again as I walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door shut.
I stormed down the stairs and paced back and forth in the living room before deciding to go back upstairs to just grab my shit and leave. But before I knew it, I had the phone to my ear.
“ ’Mmm ’lo?”
“Bri, put Marissa on the phone.”
“Chase?” he grumbled. “Fuck man, do you know what time it is.”
“No; put Marissa on the phone.”
“Shit, are you crying?” He sounded more alert now.
“No I’m—” I rubbed my hand over my eyes and pulled it back to find them wet. “Just put her on the damn phone!”
There was shuffling before I heard Marissa’s groggy voice; I knew that Brian had put me on speaker, but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m losing the only girl I will ever love; not much else matters. “Chach, what’s wrong? Brian said you’re crying?”
“I’m losing her, Riss, I’m losing Harper, and I don’t know what to do. I’m five seconds from leaving again, but I need to know if I’d f**k up everything for good by doing that.”
“Well, what happened?”
“I slept with her last night—”
“What?” they both yelled.
“—and now Brandon’s coming back, and she wants me to give her time, but I know she’s just saying that. She’s going back to him, like nothing between us ever f**king happened!”
“Hold up! Rewind. You slept with her?” Marissa sounded a little more composed now, “Okay, either Brian hasn’t been keeping me updated or some serious shit went down yesterday, so tell me everything.” She covered the speaker, and whispered to Brian, “I’m gonna punch you in the throat if you didn’t tell me this.”
“Riss, he didn’t know, so give him a break.” I stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked up as I told them everything that led up to what happened last night and everything that happened this morning; the ache in my chest growing as I relived it all. “I can’t lose her. But she basically just threw last night in my face now that her boyfriend is coming back, and once again, I’m nothing to her.”
“God, Chase,” Brian said, “when did you become such a f**king girl?”
“I know”—I sighed—“I freakin’ feel like it.”
“Screw you, babe!” Marissa shouted, and suddenly she was talking loud enough I figured I was off speaker. “Chase, she loves you. You aren’t nothing to her, she’s just confused. She doesn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend is coming back, and she just admitted to his best friend that she’s in love with him too and lost her v-card to him. She’s probably freaking out. If she said she needs a few weeks, then give the girl a few weeks. But don’t just leave her, Chach.”
I snorted at her nickname for me. “Do you think this is all one big game to her?”
“No way. If it were, she wouldn’t have a problem leaving you.”
Just before I could ask how Marissa was sure she wouldn’t, the worst sound in the world sounded over the running water of the shower. “Fuck.”
