Step-Lover
Page 42
But the last thing I want to do is break up with him over text. I roll and decide to check my messages. The first five are from Yates, as expected.
I’m sorry.
Please tell me you’re okay.
I didn’t know. If I did . . . it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have done it anyway.
Can you tell me you’re okay, Aria. Please?
We’re over, aren’t we?
I sigh, and text back.
I’m ok. We’ll talk tomorrow.
Before I can tuck my phone away, he replies.
Are we over? Please, just tell me.
After what happened tonight . . . look . . . can we just talk in the morning?
That’s a yes. I’m so sorry, Aria.
Tomorrow, Yates.
When I’ve tucked my phone away again, I roll out of bed. I can’t sleep. I decide warm milk might do the trick. I think part of me is too afraid to close my eyes tonight, because to be honest, I know what I’ll see, and I don’t think I can handle it.
I slip out of the room and quietly make my way down the hall. I stop when I pass Blade’s bedroom and see the light coming out from under the door.
I stop, and hesitate.
Should I knock?
What if Peyton is in there?
I really want to thank him for what he did tonight. I lift my hand and knock lightly. I wait a few minutes, then knock a little louder. Seconds later, the door opens and Blade is standing there in a pair of sweats and nothing else. I planned on just saying thanks and leaving, but what comes out of my mouth is the complete opposite.
“I’m too afraid to close my eyes.”
He studies me with a pained look on his face, then he sighs and reaches out, taking my shoulder. He pulls me in and shuts the door behind him. I stand, unsure for a few minutes, until he points to a small sofa in the corner of the room. “Sit.”
I do, without hesitation. I slide onto the soft sofa and look over to him. He paces the room a few times, looking completely torn, then he stops and stares at me. “Dammit, you know you shouldn’t be in here.”
Oh.
I stand quickly. “I’m sorry, I just . . .”
He walks over and takes my shoulders, pushing me down again. “I never said I didn’t want you to be.”
Oh.
He paces some more then stops and runs his hands through his hair. “Look what happened earlier . . . I . . .”
“You don’t have to say anything, Blade,” I whisper softly. “I’m not here for an explanation.”
He turns and looks at me. “What happened out there, it scared the shit out of me, Tulip. I saw you like that, I felt your hurt, and I wanted to fix it. I shouldn’t have wanted to fix it.”
I nod weakly. “You care; there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d do the same for Melanie, or Brody, or Ripley, hell, even you, Blade.”
“I have a girlfriend,” he practically rasps at me.
I swallow and pain shoots through my chest. “I know that.”
“And I care about her, Aria. I do.”
“I know.”
“So you . . . this . . . I . . . fucking can’t. No matter how I’m feeling right now.”
I stand again. “Blade, I know.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t expect for us to be here.”
I frown. “We couldn’t avoid each other forever. Our parents are married.”
He sighs and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know.”
“Besides, we’ve both moved on, and maybe that’s for the best.”
He pins me with his eyes. “That man you moved on with is a fuckin’ piece of shit.”
I close my eyes. “He’s not so bad.”
“Jesus, Aria, you can do better.”
My body jerks and I snap, “Like you, Blade?”
He flinches. “I fucked up, okay? But it doesn’t mean I don’t want someone amazing for you.”
“You left me, again.”
His fists clench. “I had to.”
“You had to?” I cry, throwing my hands up. “What kind of poor excuse is that?”
“I had to,” he barks. “Because if I didn’t I would have never fuckin’ let you go, dammit.”
My eyes widen and I’m momentarily speechless. He goes on.
“Fuck, you got under my skin. Every time I saw you, I wanted you more. That night, it shouldn’t have happened, but I couldn’t stop . . . I wanted you so fucking badly. I knew after, I knew that I had to walk. If I didn’t I would have never stepped away from you, and we both know how that would have ended.”
I do know how it would have ended. It doesn’t mean I don’t wish he would close his arms around me, and hold onto me right now, though.
“You could have explained that. Instead you just ran again, and that wasn’t fair.”
He nods. “I know.”
“What do we do now? We have to be around each other, Blade. It’s not something we can easily avoid.”
He walks over and drops down onto the sofa beside me. “I honestly don’t know.”
I nod and we both fall silent.
“Are you staying here?” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he says. “Lost my job and got one here. Peyton’s family live in the area, so it just worked out for everyone. We’re livin’ with Brody until we can find a place.”
God. It’s that serious.
“You sent her away tonight. If she lives here, where did she go?”
I’m sorry.
Please tell me you’re okay.
I didn’t know. If I did . . . it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have done it anyway.
Can you tell me you’re okay, Aria. Please?
We’re over, aren’t we?
I sigh, and text back.
I’m ok. We’ll talk tomorrow.
Before I can tuck my phone away, he replies.
Are we over? Please, just tell me.
After what happened tonight . . . look . . . can we just talk in the morning?
That’s a yes. I’m so sorry, Aria.
Tomorrow, Yates.
When I’ve tucked my phone away again, I roll out of bed. I can’t sleep. I decide warm milk might do the trick. I think part of me is too afraid to close my eyes tonight, because to be honest, I know what I’ll see, and I don’t think I can handle it.
I slip out of the room and quietly make my way down the hall. I stop when I pass Blade’s bedroom and see the light coming out from under the door.
I stop, and hesitate.
Should I knock?
What if Peyton is in there?
I really want to thank him for what he did tonight. I lift my hand and knock lightly. I wait a few minutes, then knock a little louder. Seconds later, the door opens and Blade is standing there in a pair of sweats and nothing else. I planned on just saying thanks and leaving, but what comes out of my mouth is the complete opposite.
“I’m too afraid to close my eyes.”
He studies me with a pained look on his face, then he sighs and reaches out, taking my shoulder. He pulls me in and shuts the door behind him. I stand, unsure for a few minutes, until he points to a small sofa in the corner of the room. “Sit.”
I do, without hesitation. I slide onto the soft sofa and look over to him. He paces the room a few times, looking completely torn, then he stops and stares at me. “Dammit, you know you shouldn’t be in here.”
Oh.
I stand quickly. “I’m sorry, I just . . .”
He walks over and takes my shoulders, pushing me down again. “I never said I didn’t want you to be.”
Oh.
He paces some more then stops and runs his hands through his hair. “Look what happened earlier . . . I . . .”
“You don’t have to say anything, Blade,” I whisper softly. “I’m not here for an explanation.”
He turns and looks at me. “What happened out there, it scared the shit out of me, Tulip. I saw you like that, I felt your hurt, and I wanted to fix it. I shouldn’t have wanted to fix it.”
I nod weakly. “You care; there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d do the same for Melanie, or Brody, or Ripley, hell, even you, Blade.”
“I have a girlfriend,” he practically rasps at me.
I swallow and pain shoots through my chest. “I know that.”
“And I care about her, Aria. I do.”
“I know.”
“So you . . . this . . . I . . . fucking can’t. No matter how I’m feeling right now.”
I stand again. “Blade, I know.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t expect for us to be here.”
I frown. “We couldn’t avoid each other forever. Our parents are married.”
He sighs and his shoulders slump. “Yeah, I know.”
“Besides, we’ve both moved on, and maybe that’s for the best.”
He pins me with his eyes. “That man you moved on with is a fuckin’ piece of shit.”
I close my eyes. “He’s not so bad.”
“Jesus, Aria, you can do better.”
My body jerks and I snap, “Like you, Blade?”
He flinches. “I fucked up, okay? But it doesn’t mean I don’t want someone amazing for you.”
“You left me, again.”
His fists clench. “I had to.”
“You had to?” I cry, throwing my hands up. “What kind of poor excuse is that?”
“I had to,” he barks. “Because if I didn’t I would have never fuckin’ let you go, dammit.”
My eyes widen and I’m momentarily speechless. He goes on.
“Fuck, you got under my skin. Every time I saw you, I wanted you more. That night, it shouldn’t have happened, but I couldn’t stop . . . I wanted you so fucking badly. I knew after, I knew that I had to walk. If I didn’t I would have never stepped away from you, and we both know how that would have ended.”
I do know how it would have ended. It doesn’t mean I don’t wish he would close his arms around me, and hold onto me right now, though.
“You could have explained that. Instead you just ran again, and that wasn’t fair.”
He nods. “I know.”
“What do we do now? We have to be around each other, Blade. It’s not something we can easily avoid.”
He walks over and drops down onto the sofa beside me. “I honestly don’t know.”
I nod and we both fall silent.
“Are you staying here?” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he says. “Lost my job and got one here. Peyton’s family live in the area, so it just worked out for everyone. We’re livin’ with Brody until we can find a place.”
God. It’s that serious.
“You sent her away tonight. If she lives here, where did she go?”
