Step-Lover
Page 61
“Yeah,” I say, my heart still aching from Brody’s words. “And it means something, Jack. I know it’s not conventional, but I do love him, and I really have tried to change that but I can’t. I’m sure you understand that.”
“I do, kid, because I feel it for your momma. Listen, give me time to process, yeah? I appreciate you two tellin’ me, but I just . . . need some time.”
I nod, but tears burst from my eyes unexpectedly.
“Ah shit honey, didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Jack reaches over and cups my face, but I turn away. I push my chair back and stand.
“Look,” I whisper. “I’m not asking for your permission. I just wanted you to all know. I want you to know, because nothing you can say will change how much I love Blade. He is the meaning of me and I won’t let him go. If you don’t accept it, that’ll hurt like hell, so I really, really hope you will, because I adore all of you and I don’t want to lose you.”
With that, I turn and rush out.
Blade follows me, but I want to get my hands on Brody. I’m angry with him, because how dare he be so judgmental and snap at me like that?
“Hey, darlin’, stop.”
Blade’s arms circle my waist and he turns me around. I step into him and press my face into his chest, breathing him in because I need that. He holds the back of my head tightly for a moment before letting me go. “It’ll be okay, you hear?”
I nod. “I know . . . Listen, I don’t want to do this, but I need to find Brody and you need to let me.”
He studies me. “He didn’t mean what he said.”
“No, but I still need to find him and say my piece.”
He strokes a thumb down my cheek. “All right, baby. Meet me at home after, okay?”
I nod, leaning up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his. He accepts my kiss, responding with a soft, gentle kiss of his own. Then we part ways. I dig into my phone, calling Brody’s number, but he doesn’t answer. Angry, I punch out a text message.
Aria – You don’t get to say those things and run off. Where r u? We need 2 talk.
He doesn’t respond and my blood boils. No, he’s not going to do this.
Aria – Two choices, Brody. You tell me where u r or I tell your family why you’re really suffering.
It’s a low blow, but I know it’ll be enough to make him tell me where he is. I’m right; a minute later I get a response.
Brody – Park. South Street.
I tuck my phone into my jeans and wave down a cab. By the time I reach the park, my blood is boiling. I know it shouldn’t matter, and maybe he didn’t mean it, but he and I have something. We’re close, and I don’t deserve his nasty words when he knows I’m not that kind of girl.
I pay the driver and get out. I see Brody right away, sitting on an old, rusty swing, staring out at nothing. I walk over, anger flooding my veins. He hears me coming and stands, but the moment he turns to face me, I shove him. Then I shove him again and again while yelling. “How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that? I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what we’ve shared, you don’t get the right to make me feel insecure and slutty.”
He grabs my wrists and jerks me, causing me to lose my footing and stumble forward. He steadies me then drops my hands, effectively shoving me backwards. Then he gets up in my face. “Don’t pretend that we’re some kind of special, Aria. Don’t pretend you know me and that we’re so damned close you get the right to fuckin’ speak to me like that or lay your hands on me.”
I lean in close, too. “And don’t you think you get the right to treat me like trash because you’re too fucking gutless to tell me what’s really going on. I have never, ever spoken to you like that, Brody. I haven’t done anything wrong, regardless of what you think. Blade and I aren’t just fuck buddies, and if you stuck around long enough to let me get a word in, you would know we met each other before Mom and Jack ever got married or even met, so back off. You know nothing about how I feel for him.”
His anger slides away and he takes a step back, looking to the side.
“Don’t do this,” I say, more gently this time. “Don’t push me away because Brody, I like what I have with you. I trust you. You matter to me. If you have a problem with Blade and I, say it to me, right here and right now.”
He looks up at me and meets my eyes, dead on. “I have no one, Aria. No one to talk to. No one to confide in. I found someone the day you and I opened up to each other. What the hell do you think is going to happen to that if you and Blade go south? This family that has been created—it’s the only damned sunshine in my life.”
Oh. God.
He’s scared of losing me, of losing us. He’s afraid Blade and I will go wrong, and he’ll lose what we’ve created. My face must soften because he looks away. “Don’t look at me like that,” he says. “Don’t give me pity.”
“Why?” I say gently. “Because you’re afraid you might actually feel something if you let me in?”
His eyes snap to me. “I like what I have with you. I don’t want to lose it, but don’t even for a second think you’re in.”
Ouch. I flinch.
“Jesus, Brody, why don’t you kick me while I’m down.”
He looks away. “Don’t be offended. No one is in, Aria, and they never will be again.”
“I do, kid, because I feel it for your momma. Listen, give me time to process, yeah? I appreciate you two tellin’ me, but I just . . . need some time.”
I nod, but tears burst from my eyes unexpectedly.
“Ah shit honey, didn’t mean to make you cry.”
Jack reaches over and cups my face, but I turn away. I push my chair back and stand.
“Look,” I whisper. “I’m not asking for your permission. I just wanted you to all know. I want you to know, because nothing you can say will change how much I love Blade. He is the meaning of me and I won’t let him go. If you don’t accept it, that’ll hurt like hell, so I really, really hope you will, because I adore all of you and I don’t want to lose you.”
With that, I turn and rush out.
Blade follows me, but I want to get my hands on Brody. I’m angry with him, because how dare he be so judgmental and snap at me like that?
“Hey, darlin’, stop.”
Blade’s arms circle my waist and he turns me around. I step into him and press my face into his chest, breathing him in because I need that. He holds the back of my head tightly for a moment before letting me go. “It’ll be okay, you hear?”
I nod. “I know . . . Listen, I don’t want to do this, but I need to find Brody and you need to let me.”
He studies me. “He didn’t mean what he said.”
“No, but I still need to find him and say my piece.”
He strokes a thumb down my cheek. “All right, baby. Meet me at home after, okay?”
I nod, leaning up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his. He accepts my kiss, responding with a soft, gentle kiss of his own. Then we part ways. I dig into my phone, calling Brody’s number, but he doesn’t answer. Angry, I punch out a text message.
Aria – You don’t get to say those things and run off. Where r u? We need 2 talk.
He doesn’t respond and my blood boils. No, he’s not going to do this.
Aria – Two choices, Brody. You tell me where u r or I tell your family why you’re really suffering.
It’s a low blow, but I know it’ll be enough to make him tell me where he is. I’m right; a minute later I get a response.
Brody – Park. South Street.
I tuck my phone into my jeans and wave down a cab. By the time I reach the park, my blood is boiling. I know it shouldn’t matter, and maybe he didn’t mean it, but he and I have something. We’re close, and I don’t deserve his nasty words when he knows I’m not that kind of girl.
I pay the driver and get out. I see Brody right away, sitting on an old, rusty swing, staring out at nothing. I walk over, anger flooding my veins. He hears me coming and stands, but the moment he turns to face me, I shove him. Then I shove him again and again while yelling. “How dare you? How dare you speak to me like that? I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what we’ve shared, you don’t get the right to make me feel insecure and slutty.”
He grabs my wrists and jerks me, causing me to lose my footing and stumble forward. He steadies me then drops my hands, effectively shoving me backwards. Then he gets up in my face. “Don’t pretend that we’re some kind of special, Aria. Don’t pretend you know me and that we’re so damned close you get the right to fuckin’ speak to me like that or lay your hands on me.”
I lean in close, too. “And don’t you think you get the right to treat me like trash because you’re too fucking gutless to tell me what’s really going on. I have never, ever spoken to you like that, Brody. I haven’t done anything wrong, regardless of what you think. Blade and I aren’t just fuck buddies, and if you stuck around long enough to let me get a word in, you would know we met each other before Mom and Jack ever got married or even met, so back off. You know nothing about how I feel for him.”
His anger slides away and he takes a step back, looking to the side.
“Don’t do this,” I say, more gently this time. “Don’t push me away because Brody, I like what I have with you. I trust you. You matter to me. If you have a problem with Blade and I, say it to me, right here and right now.”
He looks up at me and meets my eyes, dead on. “I have no one, Aria. No one to talk to. No one to confide in. I found someone the day you and I opened up to each other. What the hell do you think is going to happen to that if you and Blade go south? This family that has been created—it’s the only damned sunshine in my life.”
Oh. God.
He’s scared of losing me, of losing us. He’s afraid Blade and I will go wrong, and he’ll lose what we’ve created. My face must soften because he looks away. “Don’t look at me like that,” he says. “Don’t give me pity.”
“Why?” I say gently. “Because you’re afraid you might actually feel something if you let me in?”
His eyes snap to me. “I like what I have with you. I don’t want to lose it, but don’t even for a second think you’re in.”
Ouch. I flinch.
“Jesus, Brody, why don’t you kick me while I’m down.”
He looks away. “Don’t be offended. No one is in, Aria, and they never will be again.”
