Still Jaded
Page 41
"This is from before. You neglected Sheldon in Spain. You know it. Just admit it for once. I stepped up to the plate because you weren't doing a thing."
"Oh come on. I wasn't that bad—"
"She was drowning!" Corrigan yelled. "You did nothing. You should've been the first one to do something."
"I was working. What'd you expect from me?"
Corrigan surged forward with his fist raised. The air felt thick again. "I expect you to hold your girlfriend at night when she's screaming instead of watching soccer tapes. Maybe something like that? You're a douche for what you did!"
Bryce opened his mouth and frustration flashed over his face. Then he shut down. His shoulders slumped. "You're right. I know you're right. I—I…" He looked at me, and I saw the remorse in his eyes. They were the beautiful blue ones again; the ones that made me melt so many times. I took a small breath and couldn't look away.
Corrigan looked at both of us and sighed. "Things have sucked between us three. I'm tired of it. You two need to talk and get on the right page. When you're not, I get affected too. I'm sick of that too." He said to Bryce, "We cool?"
Bryce nodded and held out a fist. Corrigan hit it with his own and chucked an arm around my shoulders. As he pulled me tight into his side, he flashed me a smile. "Let's go back and you two can get all hot and heavy. Then all this awkwardness is done."
If only it were that easy.
"What's wrong?"
I looked up and saw they were both watching me. Bryce's gaze was hooded while Corrigan's was pleading. "What?"
Corrigan squeezed my shoulders. "You sighed. What's the problem now?"
"Now?" I laughed, but it was bitter. It had grown cold in the room, and I started to shiver, so I tried to hug myself. "It doesn't get erased like that. It's not that easy. You can't make him apologize and suddenly have everything be fine and dandy."
Although, I wanted that so much.
Corrigan frowned. "Why not? I forgave you just now."
"It's different, and you know it. You don't want to deal with it. He was with her. He's still with her!"
Corrigan whirled to Bryce. "Still? What the hell are you thinking? I thought you said it was over as soon as it started?"
Bryce looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
I held my breath. My heart sounded like it was in my ears and my chest felt tight, as if someone was leaning their whole weight on it. My knees trembled. I turned away because a part of me didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be there any longer, but I still saw them in the window. It'd grown so dark outside.
Bryce choked out, "It's not that simple."
"Wha—" Corrigan expelled a dramatic breath and jerked forward with a fist. He tucked his shoulder and landed an upper cut underneath Bryce's chin.
"Corrigan!" I whirled back and jumped forward.
Bryce fell backwards, but caught his balance after a couple of steps. Holding a hand to his chin, he regarded Corrigan with a seriousness that made my palms sweat. He shot a palm out, and I stopped in my tracks.
Corrigan's jaw was tight. "That's for dicking around on my best friend." Then he looked like he was considering doing it again.
Bryce shook his head. "I let you hit me once because you're right about me hurting Sheldon. You only get one before I hit back, Corrigan."
They were at a standoff. Then both visibly relaxed. I realized they'd be fine now. Something had happened between the two, and I had no idea. What the hell? One punch solved everything? I was left standing in between, and they were okay? "What the –" I screamed and knelt on the ground.
Corrigan scrambled backwards.
Bryce held still, right beside my feet.
Covering my ears, I let loose with as much emotion as I could muster. It was blood curdling and it came from deep within.
"Sheldon!" Corrigan yelled over me and moved forward.
Bryce shot out a hand and shook his head. I fell backwards and crawled onto a couch. My voice sounded mangled, but a small scream still came out. Then I gasped and my voice hitched. With my eyes wide, irate, I hissed at both of them, "You don't get to do this. You don't get to come here and sugarcoat everything. It's not okay, Corrigan! It's not okay at all and he," I threw a hand towards Bryce, "knows it!" Then I heaved a ragged breath and stood on my feet, swaying slightly.
Corrigan jerked forward again, as if to catch me, but Bryce stopped him. He spoke over me, "She needs this. Don't take it away."
My eyes snapped to Bryce, and I saw the old one. He was the one I fell in love with, the one who could withstand any storm. "Where the hell have you been?! Not here, not with me. When she got her greedy hands on you, did she suck your soul out? Where have you been, you ass**le!?"
Corrigan looked between us two and then sat down.
Bryce sighed and moved towards me. His eyes pleaded. "There are things that I haven't told you and I see that I should've. A lot of this could've been—none of this needed to happen. I'm sorry, Sheldon."
"Excuse me?" I laughed in outrage. "Excuse me? You make me crazy, Bryce! I'm going crazy and it's because of you. You're with her—"
"I don't want to be!" Bryce shouted over me. "I don't want to be with her, and I won't be anymore."
I couldn't believe what I had just heard. He was going to end it? Just like that? A few screams, one punch, and he now saw reason? I couldn't believe it. Something was still wrong.
Bryce closed his eyes and seemed to reel away from me, though he never moved. A wall slammed over him and he turned, but I lurched forward and caught his arm. It was like a brick, but I yanked with all my weight and he stumbled. I caught him with my other arm and then gasped when both of his arms wrapped themselves around my waist. He pulled me tight and buried his head in my neck. Clasping him closer, I was surprised at how tense he was. It was if his whole body was made of cement. When I looked up, I caught Corrigan sneaking out of the room.
"It's over? Just like that?" I kissed his chest.
He inhaled a shaky breath and clasped me tighter.
"Bryce."
Then he lifted his head, and I gasped at the torment in his eyes. He spoke, "I'm not with her. I promise, but it's not that simple."
"Oh come on. I wasn't that bad—"
"She was drowning!" Corrigan yelled. "You did nothing. You should've been the first one to do something."
"I was working. What'd you expect from me?"
Corrigan surged forward with his fist raised. The air felt thick again. "I expect you to hold your girlfriend at night when she's screaming instead of watching soccer tapes. Maybe something like that? You're a douche for what you did!"
Bryce opened his mouth and frustration flashed over his face. Then he shut down. His shoulders slumped. "You're right. I know you're right. I—I…" He looked at me, and I saw the remorse in his eyes. They were the beautiful blue ones again; the ones that made me melt so many times. I took a small breath and couldn't look away.
Corrigan looked at both of us and sighed. "Things have sucked between us three. I'm tired of it. You two need to talk and get on the right page. When you're not, I get affected too. I'm sick of that too." He said to Bryce, "We cool?"
Bryce nodded and held out a fist. Corrigan hit it with his own and chucked an arm around my shoulders. As he pulled me tight into his side, he flashed me a smile. "Let's go back and you two can get all hot and heavy. Then all this awkwardness is done."
If only it were that easy.
"What's wrong?"
I looked up and saw they were both watching me. Bryce's gaze was hooded while Corrigan's was pleading. "What?"
Corrigan squeezed my shoulders. "You sighed. What's the problem now?"
"Now?" I laughed, but it was bitter. It had grown cold in the room, and I started to shiver, so I tried to hug myself. "It doesn't get erased like that. It's not that easy. You can't make him apologize and suddenly have everything be fine and dandy."
Although, I wanted that so much.
Corrigan frowned. "Why not? I forgave you just now."
"It's different, and you know it. You don't want to deal with it. He was with her. He's still with her!"
Corrigan whirled to Bryce. "Still? What the hell are you thinking? I thought you said it was over as soon as it started?"
Bryce looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
I held my breath. My heart sounded like it was in my ears and my chest felt tight, as if someone was leaning their whole weight on it. My knees trembled. I turned away because a part of me didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to be there any longer, but I still saw them in the window. It'd grown so dark outside.
Bryce choked out, "It's not that simple."
"Wha—" Corrigan expelled a dramatic breath and jerked forward with a fist. He tucked his shoulder and landed an upper cut underneath Bryce's chin.
"Corrigan!" I whirled back and jumped forward.
Bryce fell backwards, but caught his balance after a couple of steps. Holding a hand to his chin, he regarded Corrigan with a seriousness that made my palms sweat. He shot a palm out, and I stopped in my tracks.
Corrigan's jaw was tight. "That's for dicking around on my best friend." Then he looked like he was considering doing it again.
Bryce shook his head. "I let you hit me once because you're right about me hurting Sheldon. You only get one before I hit back, Corrigan."
They were at a standoff. Then both visibly relaxed. I realized they'd be fine now. Something had happened between the two, and I had no idea. What the hell? One punch solved everything? I was left standing in between, and they were okay? "What the –" I screamed and knelt on the ground.
Corrigan scrambled backwards.
Bryce held still, right beside my feet.
Covering my ears, I let loose with as much emotion as I could muster. It was blood curdling and it came from deep within.
"Sheldon!" Corrigan yelled over me and moved forward.
Bryce shot out a hand and shook his head. I fell backwards and crawled onto a couch. My voice sounded mangled, but a small scream still came out. Then I gasped and my voice hitched. With my eyes wide, irate, I hissed at both of them, "You don't get to do this. You don't get to come here and sugarcoat everything. It's not okay, Corrigan! It's not okay at all and he," I threw a hand towards Bryce, "knows it!" Then I heaved a ragged breath and stood on my feet, swaying slightly.
Corrigan jerked forward again, as if to catch me, but Bryce stopped him. He spoke over me, "She needs this. Don't take it away."
My eyes snapped to Bryce, and I saw the old one. He was the one I fell in love with, the one who could withstand any storm. "Where the hell have you been?! Not here, not with me. When she got her greedy hands on you, did she suck your soul out? Where have you been, you ass**le!?"
Corrigan looked between us two and then sat down.
Bryce sighed and moved towards me. His eyes pleaded. "There are things that I haven't told you and I see that I should've. A lot of this could've been—none of this needed to happen. I'm sorry, Sheldon."
"Excuse me?" I laughed in outrage. "Excuse me? You make me crazy, Bryce! I'm going crazy and it's because of you. You're with her—"
"I don't want to be!" Bryce shouted over me. "I don't want to be with her, and I won't be anymore."
I couldn't believe what I had just heard. He was going to end it? Just like that? A few screams, one punch, and he now saw reason? I couldn't believe it. Something was still wrong.
Bryce closed his eyes and seemed to reel away from me, though he never moved. A wall slammed over him and he turned, but I lurched forward and caught his arm. It was like a brick, but I yanked with all my weight and he stumbled. I caught him with my other arm and then gasped when both of his arms wrapped themselves around my waist. He pulled me tight and buried his head in my neck. Clasping him closer, I was surprised at how tense he was. It was if his whole body was made of cement. When I looked up, I caught Corrigan sneaking out of the room.
"It's over? Just like that?" I kissed his chest.
He inhaled a shaky breath and clasped me tighter.
"Bryce."
Then he lifted his head, and I gasped at the torment in his eyes. He spoke, "I'm not with her. I promise, but it's not that simple."
