Still Jaded
Page 43
When I was done, I looked in the mirror. A stranger stared back at me. I no longer recognized her: thin frame, skinny arms, huge eyes, huge mouth, and something in her that no longer made sense. It was like I was looking at myself from out of my body. I felt weird and, yet, comforted at the same time.
Someone knocked on the door and I called out, "Yes?"
Denton's voice was muffled. "Corrigan said you're leaving?"
"Yes." I didn't open the door. In fact, I didn't break eye contact with my reflection.
"Can you open the door?" He sounded aggravated.
When I did, he looked it too. I didn't mention it. "Bryce took the car. Can we use one of yours?"
Denton looked taken aback but recovered quickly. "I…yes. Yes, of course. I can come later in the week to get it. That's no problem."
"Good." I reached to close the door again.
"Sheldon." Denton blocked it with his leg and his hand shot out. His eyes searched mine. "Are you okay? You look…"
"What?" I was detached, but calm. Everything was fine.
And like Corrigan, he closed his mouth and shook his head. "Nevermind."
It didn't take me long to pack. When Corrigan and I left, Denton seemed reserved. Sondra acted giddy, but she kept throwing looks at Denton. I had no idea why, but I hugged her stiffly. My arms felt heavy and her arms felt like feathers. Then she was hugging Corrigan and laughing at something he said. I didn't care. I didn't try and listen anymore, but I felt Denton's gaze. His eyes were trying to pierce me. I knew he wanted to read my thoughts so I asked, "What?"
Sondra quieted. Corrigan waited.
He turned to Corrigan. "When she breaks, will you call me?"
Corrigan nodded and then touched my elbow. "Let's go, Shel."
"Bye, Sheldon!" Sondra waved.
I got in the car and looked at Denton, but he didn't say anything. He watched and stood with his arms crossed. When Corrigan started down the driveway, Denton didn't move from his post until the car turned a corner and was out of sight. Then I leaned back in my seat and sighed.
Corrigan glanced at me once and then started flipping through the radio channels. I never cared what we listened to so Corrigan kept switching when he grew tired with a station. After five minutes, he sat back and proclaimed, "I'm bored. Talk to me."
I looked sideways at him. "Do you think I'm going to break?"
He answered swiftly, "You always do. Why end a good thing?"
"This isn't funny, Corrigan."
"That's obvious."
"How did you guys find out where I was?"
"Bryce." Corrigan seemed to stiffen up. "He said something about Asshole Steele sitting next to him at an awards show."
"How'd you find out where he lives?"
He shrugged. "I don't think the Hollywood world is real big. He probably asked his agent who asked Denton's agent and so forth. Does it matter?"
"No," I said faintly. "Probably not."
We drove in silence for a few miles, and then Corrigan spoke, "Sheldon, I know that you're doing your whole 'shut off' thing you do when something bad happens. I understand it. I completely agree with it, but will you promise me one thing?"
I looked back over.
His eyes were solemn. "When you do break and get angry, and I know you will, please don't do anything that'll get you killed or put in prison? I lost one best friend yesterday. I can't lose my other one."
My eyes held his for the longest time. I hadn't even noticed that Corrigan pulled the car over to the side until I broke away. The road stretched in front of us, but no one passed by. It was like we were alone in our own world. A part of me wondered how could I 'break' in this world? I felt safe…
"Shel."
I choked out, "What makes you think you lost Bryce? He broke up with me, not you."
"We're a package deal. He and I might've still stayed best friends in high school, but it's different now. It's been different for a couple years. You know that."
I did.
"Do you promise me?"
Tears spilled out and I looked away quickly, thumbing them away. The world looked so blurry that way, but I nodded and swallowed tightly. Painfully. With my head turned the other away, I reached for him and grasped his hand. Our fingers entwined, and I held on tightly. Corrigan was right. Things had changed long ago, but no one wanted to acknowledge them. Now we were forced to. "I promise."
Corrigan held my hand the rest of the way home. After we got into the city and I saw that he was driving to my place, I asked, "What are you doing? It's not safe."
He smiled. "It is. I made a few calls on the way here…"
I closed my eyes but breathed out. "Who'd you call?"
Then he blasted a genuine smile. "Hoodum." He parked in front of my house at that moment and bounced out of the car. With his arms spread wide, he seemed so proud. "I figured you needed another security system, and I know you don't trust those corporate or small home ones so…. Hoodum. Who best to protect you from a criminal than a criminal. The idea is almost criminal!"
As I got out of the car and grabbed my bag, I had to admit that the idea had merit. Hoodum was a local crime boss, but he seemed to have an odd loyalty to Corrigan. He'd never done him wrong in the past, and I'd witnessed the near adoration Hoodum had for my best friend to know that he never would. Corrigan was all smiles and jokes, but smart people knew not to cross him. Ever. There was another side to him that most people never wanted to tangle with, and if they did, they never wanted to repeat the experience. I wondered if Hoodum had learned from past mistakes, if that was where his loyalty came from, but it didn't matter. If Corrigan said Hoodum had created a security system for me then that was good enough for me.
"And," Corrigan pounded his hands on the car from excitement. "He's here! I called him before we left and texted him. He's going to have you do the passcodes and show you how to work it."
As if on cue, three motorcycles turned up my driveway. Hoodum took off his helmet and flashed us a smile. He'd lost weight since the last time I'd seen him, three years ago. He was nearly skin and bones with a black leather vest and ripped jeans on, but his eyes were the dark color they'd always been. Hoodum always had shifty eyes before, but they seemed more grounded now. He had a round face and shaggy black hair, but when he smiled, his face lit up. From what I remembered, he loved to smile when Corrigan was around. "A little birdie told me you're having some problems, Sheldon."
Someone knocked on the door and I called out, "Yes?"
Denton's voice was muffled. "Corrigan said you're leaving?"
"Yes." I didn't open the door. In fact, I didn't break eye contact with my reflection.
"Can you open the door?" He sounded aggravated.
When I did, he looked it too. I didn't mention it. "Bryce took the car. Can we use one of yours?"
Denton looked taken aback but recovered quickly. "I…yes. Yes, of course. I can come later in the week to get it. That's no problem."
"Good." I reached to close the door again.
"Sheldon." Denton blocked it with his leg and his hand shot out. His eyes searched mine. "Are you okay? You look…"
"What?" I was detached, but calm. Everything was fine.
And like Corrigan, he closed his mouth and shook his head. "Nevermind."
It didn't take me long to pack. When Corrigan and I left, Denton seemed reserved. Sondra acted giddy, but she kept throwing looks at Denton. I had no idea why, but I hugged her stiffly. My arms felt heavy and her arms felt like feathers. Then she was hugging Corrigan and laughing at something he said. I didn't care. I didn't try and listen anymore, but I felt Denton's gaze. His eyes were trying to pierce me. I knew he wanted to read my thoughts so I asked, "What?"
Sondra quieted. Corrigan waited.
He turned to Corrigan. "When she breaks, will you call me?"
Corrigan nodded and then touched my elbow. "Let's go, Shel."
"Bye, Sheldon!" Sondra waved.
I got in the car and looked at Denton, but he didn't say anything. He watched and stood with his arms crossed. When Corrigan started down the driveway, Denton didn't move from his post until the car turned a corner and was out of sight. Then I leaned back in my seat and sighed.
Corrigan glanced at me once and then started flipping through the radio channels. I never cared what we listened to so Corrigan kept switching when he grew tired with a station. After five minutes, he sat back and proclaimed, "I'm bored. Talk to me."
I looked sideways at him. "Do you think I'm going to break?"
He answered swiftly, "You always do. Why end a good thing?"
"This isn't funny, Corrigan."
"That's obvious."
"How did you guys find out where I was?"
"Bryce." Corrigan seemed to stiffen up. "He said something about Asshole Steele sitting next to him at an awards show."
"How'd you find out where he lives?"
He shrugged. "I don't think the Hollywood world is real big. He probably asked his agent who asked Denton's agent and so forth. Does it matter?"
"No," I said faintly. "Probably not."
We drove in silence for a few miles, and then Corrigan spoke, "Sheldon, I know that you're doing your whole 'shut off' thing you do when something bad happens. I understand it. I completely agree with it, but will you promise me one thing?"
I looked back over.
His eyes were solemn. "When you do break and get angry, and I know you will, please don't do anything that'll get you killed or put in prison? I lost one best friend yesterday. I can't lose my other one."
My eyes held his for the longest time. I hadn't even noticed that Corrigan pulled the car over to the side until I broke away. The road stretched in front of us, but no one passed by. It was like we were alone in our own world. A part of me wondered how could I 'break' in this world? I felt safe…
"Shel."
I choked out, "What makes you think you lost Bryce? He broke up with me, not you."
"We're a package deal. He and I might've still stayed best friends in high school, but it's different now. It's been different for a couple years. You know that."
I did.
"Do you promise me?"
Tears spilled out and I looked away quickly, thumbing them away. The world looked so blurry that way, but I nodded and swallowed tightly. Painfully. With my head turned the other away, I reached for him and grasped his hand. Our fingers entwined, and I held on tightly. Corrigan was right. Things had changed long ago, but no one wanted to acknowledge them. Now we were forced to. "I promise."
Corrigan held my hand the rest of the way home. After we got into the city and I saw that he was driving to my place, I asked, "What are you doing? It's not safe."
He smiled. "It is. I made a few calls on the way here…"
I closed my eyes but breathed out. "Who'd you call?"
Then he blasted a genuine smile. "Hoodum." He parked in front of my house at that moment and bounced out of the car. With his arms spread wide, he seemed so proud. "I figured you needed another security system, and I know you don't trust those corporate or small home ones so…. Hoodum. Who best to protect you from a criminal than a criminal. The idea is almost criminal!"
As I got out of the car and grabbed my bag, I had to admit that the idea had merit. Hoodum was a local crime boss, but he seemed to have an odd loyalty to Corrigan. He'd never done him wrong in the past, and I'd witnessed the near adoration Hoodum had for my best friend to know that he never would. Corrigan was all smiles and jokes, but smart people knew not to cross him. Ever. There was another side to him that most people never wanted to tangle with, and if they did, they never wanted to repeat the experience. I wondered if Hoodum had learned from past mistakes, if that was where his loyalty came from, but it didn't matter. If Corrigan said Hoodum had created a security system for me then that was good enough for me.
"And," Corrigan pounded his hands on the car from excitement. "He's here! I called him before we left and texted him. He's going to have you do the passcodes and show you how to work it."
As if on cue, three motorcycles turned up my driveway. Hoodum took off his helmet and flashed us a smile. He'd lost weight since the last time I'd seen him, three years ago. He was nearly skin and bones with a black leather vest and ripped jeans on, but his eyes were the dark color they'd always been. Hoodum always had shifty eyes before, but they seemed more grounded now. He had a round face and shaggy black hair, but when he smiled, his face lit up. From what I remembered, he loved to smile when Corrigan was around. "A little birdie told me you're having some problems, Sheldon."
