Still Jaded
Page 51
My body felt numb. "What are you talking about?"
"You were falling apart because you knew Bryce was up to something. The old Sheldon would've slept with Denton right away. You didn't. You went to his home, but you did that to clear your head. You didn't screw the guy."
My mouth had gone dry, but I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I felt my hand trembling against my leg and I sat my coffee down.
"I know you, Sheldon. Yes, I do. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you better than Bryce sometimes. And you've changed, for the better. But give me two minutes to catch up. Please. I'm not like you. I like hiding. Sometimes hiding can be good."
I narrowed my eyes and stalked closer. "You don't hide from anything. Any challenge and you're tearing at it. You're saying I don't hide, neither do you."
He rolled his eyes and finished the rest of his beer. "I like to hide. You're wrong, Sheldon. I like to hide a whole lot, but I'm not in a position where I can anymore. That's what you're talking about. This is why I don't have girlfriends. I don't like dealing with this deeper shit."
"I'm not your girlfriend! Stop treating me like I am!"
Corrigan closed his eyes for a moment and I waited. Tense.
Then he lifted his eyes and I gulped. There was the pissed off Corrigan with a different glow in his gaze. He seemed to come alive; like he'd been in black and white and now he was in color. "You want to talk truth? Fine. Why'd you lie to Bryce?"
"We never slept together. We stopped right away."
"That's not what you lied about and you know it. Don't treat me like I'm stupid. I'm the one who's here."
I held my breath. "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing. Nothing." He turned away.
"No! What are you talking about?" I jerked forward. Corrigan stepped away, but I brought him back. My hands were on his shoulders, my face next to his. "What are you talking about?"
"Why did we go to Sparky's today? Tell me the real reason." His eyes searched mine.
"What are you talking about? Like you said, I like to face things head on." I was so confused. What were we really talking about?
"Don't bullshit me. What's the real reason? I thought that at first, but now…that's not why. You went there to rub it in their faces. One of theirs tried to kill you and you didn't die. You go there as much as possible because you like it. And you wanted to go there with me. You enjoyed that. You watched her. From the second you saw her, you watched that girl's reaction. Not only to you being there, but to me too. You liked that she's got some weird crush on me. Why? You want to feel superior to her or something? Is that what this is about?"
"Yes!" I exploded. Was I wrong? I didn't think so. "I'm sorry if I take some satisfaction in the fact that I didn't die. I didn't die!"
Corrigan's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything. Then he reached up and unwound my hands from his shoulders. I waited for him to push me away, but he didn't. He just held my wrists in his. My body was still pressed against him.
He breathed out, "You lied to Bryce."
Everything was held on pause. I wasn't even sure if I breathed in that moment. "Yes…"
"He knows you lied."
I whispered my admission, "I know."
"He knows why you lied."
"I know." Everything inside of me broke down. I felt the fight leave me and slumped against Corrigan. He caught me and then brushed some hair from my eyes.
"Corrigan," I murmured against his shoulder. My lips brushed against his shirt.
His arms tightened around me. "Yeah?"
"You're my best friend." Wrapping both of my hands in his shirt, I pushed back with enough strength to look him in the eyes. I saw they were full of concern and knowing. I wanted to look away. Corrigan was wrong on some stuff. I didn't like people knowing me better than I knew myself. I wanted to hide from those people and I wanted to hide from him in that moment. Corrigan was looking inside of me. He always did, always would.
Something switched in his eyes, and he nodded. "I know."
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Someone dropped their books on the seat beside me, and I looked up in surprise. I hadn't thought anyone would be brave enough to sit next to me, especially with Grace and her newfound family at the back of the room. This girl smiled before placing her bag on the floor. Another four girls filed behind her. Two sat on my other side and the last sat on her empty side. They seemed to all sit down at the same time and stare straight ahead. Even their chests lifted as one as they breathed.
That's when the first girl flashed me a smile and held out her hand. "I'm one of Leah's sisters. You're Sheldon Jeneve. My name is Carolina."
I eyed her pink sweater and yellow skirt when I shook her hand. "You're a sorority sister?"
She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and glared once towards the back of the room. "Anyone who is friends with Leah is friends with us. If they want to fight, they've got a fight. Leah finally told us everything. We hadn't known the righteousness of Cadence's bitchiness, but we do now. You're going to be witness to a whole other phenomenon."
"Oh…kay." I looked back and saw Grace swallow. She looked around, saw that her other sisters were glaring back and squared her shoulders. When she lifted her chin in a challenge, I smirked back at her. Grace seemed to wither.
My newfound friend laughed. "She's about ready to piss her pants. Nice. The stories of your rage and power have not been exaggerated. We could use a sister like you."
My eyes snapped to hers. "Ah—what?"
Carolina's eyes sparked in warmth. "Leah told us everything about you or she filled in the empty spaces from what we'd already heard. When there's a girl who is best friends with the up-and-coming President of Alpha Mu, we take notice. Plus, your ex being one of the hottest soccer players in this century already makes you infamous around these parts."
It wasn't often that I was lost for words, but somehow this Carolina had done just that. I couldn't figure out how she did it, but she did it nonetheless. Anything else that might've been said was interrupted when Miss Connors walked into the room. She paused when she sat that I was in the front row, then her eyes jumped to the back, and I could already see the questions in her mind.
"You were falling apart because you knew Bryce was up to something. The old Sheldon would've slept with Denton right away. You didn't. You went to his home, but you did that to clear your head. You didn't screw the guy."
My mouth had gone dry, but I wasn't sure if that was good or bad. I felt my hand trembling against my leg and I sat my coffee down.
"I know you, Sheldon. Yes, I do. I know you better than you know yourself. I know you better than Bryce sometimes. And you've changed, for the better. But give me two minutes to catch up. Please. I'm not like you. I like hiding. Sometimes hiding can be good."
I narrowed my eyes and stalked closer. "You don't hide from anything. Any challenge and you're tearing at it. You're saying I don't hide, neither do you."
He rolled his eyes and finished the rest of his beer. "I like to hide. You're wrong, Sheldon. I like to hide a whole lot, but I'm not in a position where I can anymore. That's what you're talking about. This is why I don't have girlfriends. I don't like dealing with this deeper shit."
"I'm not your girlfriend! Stop treating me like I am!"
Corrigan closed his eyes for a moment and I waited. Tense.
Then he lifted his eyes and I gulped. There was the pissed off Corrigan with a different glow in his gaze. He seemed to come alive; like he'd been in black and white and now he was in color. "You want to talk truth? Fine. Why'd you lie to Bryce?"
"We never slept together. We stopped right away."
"That's not what you lied about and you know it. Don't treat me like I'm stupid. I'm the one who's here."
I held my breath. "What are you talking about?"
"Nothing. Nothing." He turned away.
"No! What are you talking about?" I jerked forward. Corrigan stepped away, but I brought him back. My hands were on his shoulders, my face next to his. "What are you talking about?"
"Why did we go to Sparky's today? Tell me the real reason." His eyes searched mine.
"What are you talking about? Like you said, I like to face things head on." I was so confused. What were we really talking about?
"Don't bullshit me. What's the real reason? I thought that at first, but now…that's not why. You went there to rub it in their faces. One of theirs tried to kill you and you didn't die. You go there as much as possible because you like it. And you wanted to go there with me. You enjoyed that. You watched her. From the second you saw her, you watched that girl's reaction. Not only to you being there, but to me too. You liked that she's got some weird crush on me. Why? You want to feel superior to her or something? Is that what this is about?"
"Yes!" I exploded. Was I wrong? I didn't think so. "I'm sorry if I take some satisfaction in the fact that I didn't die. I didn't die!"
Corrigan's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything. Then he reached up and unwound my hands from his shoulders. I waited for him to push me away, but he didn't. He just held my wrists in his. My body was still pressed against him.
He breathed out, "You lied to Bryce."
Everything was held on pause. I wasn't even sure if I breathed in that moment. "Yes…"
"He knows you lied."
I whispered my admission, "I know."
"He knows why you lied."
"I know." Everything inside of me broke down. I felt the fight leave me and slumped against Corrigan. He caught me and then brushed some hair from my eyes.
"Corrigan," I murmured against his shoulder. My lips brushed against his shirt.
His arms tightened around me. "Yeah?"
"You're my best friend." Wrapping both of my hands in his shirt, I pushed back with enough strength to look him in the eyes. I saw they were full of concern and knowing. I wanted to look away. Corrigan was wrong on some stuff. I didn't like people knowing me better than I knew myself. I wanted to hide from those people and I wanted to hide from him in that moment. Corrigan was looking inside of me. He always did, always would.
Something switched in his eyes, and he nodded. "I know."
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Someone dropped their books on the seat beside me, and I looked up in surprise. I hadn't thought anyone would be brave enough to sit next to me, especially with Grace and her newfound family at the back of the room. This girl smiled before placing her bag on the floor. Another four girls filed behind her. Two sat on my other side and the last sat on her empty side. They seemed to all sit down at the same time and stare straight ahead. Even their chests lifted as one as they breathed.
That's when the first girl flashed me a smile and held out her hand. "I'm one of Leah's sisters. You're Sheldon Jeneve. My name is Carolina."
I eyed her pink sweater and yellow skirt when I shook her hand. "You're a sorority sister?"
She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and glared once towards the back of the room. "Anyone who is friends with Leah is friends with us. If they want to fight, they've got a fight. Leah finally told us everything. We hadn't known the righteousness of Cadence's bitchiness, but we do now. You're going to be witness to a whole other phenomenon."
"Oh…kay." I looked back and saw Grace swallow. She looked around, saw that her other sisters were glaring back and squared her shoulders. When she lifted her chin in a challenge, I smirked back at her. Grace seemed to wither.
My newfound friend laughed. "She's about ready to piss her pants. Nice. The stories of your rage and power have not been exaggerated. We could use a sister like you."
My eyes snapped to hers. "Ah—what?"
Carolina's eyes sparked in warmth. "Leah told us everything about you or she filled in the empty spaces from what we'd already heard. When there's a girl who is best friends with the up-and-coming President of Alpha Mu, we take notice. Plus, your ex being one of the hottest soccer players in this century already makes you infamous around these parts."
It wasn't often that I was lost for words, but somehow this Carolina had done just that. I couldn't figure out how she did it, but she did it nonetheless. Anything else that might've been said was interrupted when Miss Connors walked into the room. She paused when she sat that I was in the front row, then her eyes jumped to the back, and I could already see the questions in her mind.
