Still Jaded
Page 53
Oh. I sat back down. That was almost laughable. "I didn't say a word. She's a cop. She's not stupid. You're always there and the one time you're not, both Corrigan and I clamp down on where you are. He told her you were busy. You left me, remember?"
Bryce took a deep breath. He gentled his voice. "Are you okay?"
I gripped my phone hard when I heard the concern in his tone. He cared, and for a second, I felt my heart skip a beat. The old schoolgirl crush was coming back, but I gritted my teeth. He couldn't have that power over me. "You have no right calling me and asking me that. No right, Bryce. You can call her. You can worry about her. Don't call me again."
"Sheldon—"
I'd been about to hang up, but something stopped me.
Then I heard him continue, "Please listen to me. Please."
I choked out, feeling the threat of tears, "What? Say it quick."
"I don't know what I want to say. I'm sorry. I should have it planned out. Are you okay? Did the intruder get inside? Is someone with you? Is Corrigan there?" He paused for a moment. "I have to know that you're okay and that you're safe."
I heaved a deep breath. "Corrigan's with me, yes. We're fine. He got a new security system for me, and it worked. The intruder didn't get in, but I saw him—them—whoever at the window. It looked like Marcus."
"Marcus?!"
"I know. I know. He's dead. It wasn't him. I know, but…" It looked like him so much.
Bryce sound choked up. "Who is the security system through? Your other ones sucked."
"Hoodum did it."
"Oh. Good. He'll do a good job. Corrigan will make sure of it." His voice hitched on a note.
"He will." I nodded. More tears threatened to spill out. I hated that they came so easily for him. "What do you want, Bryce? Did you call because of the intruder? I'm fine. Officer Patterson knows that. She shouldn't have called you. I'm sure she just wanted the gossip on us."
"She didn't want gossip, Sheldon. She was just doing her job. It makes sense that a recent ex-boyfriend might be the stalker. We both know that. She grilled me, and I was honest about everything I knew."
"About Guadalupe? Did you tell Officer Patterson about her?"
His voice was quiet. "I did. She needs to know everything. I told her about Guadalupe and I explained to her what happened with us. She's trying to protect you. She needs to know my frame of mind."
"Too bad she didn't ask about mine," I bit out without thinking. "And aren't you the perfect citizen."
There was silence on his end.
My heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes. I shouldn't have said that. I could've said something else. Wait—who was I? I don't doubt my words for anyone, but this was Bryce. He wasn't just anyone. I heaved a deep breath instead.
I didn't know what to say so I said nothing.
"Are you okay?" Bryce asked. He sounded genuine.
I closed my eyes and sucked in the pain. I didn't want it, but it was there. His words, his tone felt like a knife stabbing me in the throat. He cared, and I could hear the concern in his voice. He wasn't allowed to care anymore, right? Right? Could I care about him? What were the rules now? Had they changed?
"Sheldon?"
I took too long to answer. I mumbled, "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I—"
"You what? What could you do? You can't do anything, Bryce. Not anymore. You shouldn't have even called me." My throat hurt so much. It felt too tight.
He sounded strained. "Sheldon, I still love you. Things aren't clear with us right now, but I'm always going to be a part of your life. You can't cut all those years. Since seventh grade—it's been that long for us. I'm a part of you."
"I'll adapt. I always do." What the hell was I saying? I didn't want him out of my life, but everything was so confusing. I counted to ten and tried to calm myself. "It's just harder when you call me." My voice broke.
"I know. I'm sorry," he whispered.
I bent over to rest my forehead on my knees. Why was everything so painful? When I drew in a shuddering breath, someone sat beside me. I felt them take my phone, and a second later Corrigan spoke into it, "Hey. I'll call you later."
Bryce responded, but Corrigan closed my phone. His hand found mine, and then he hugged me against him. I couldn't think or say anything. The pain was almost numbing—it blasted me completely. Slowly, so slowly, I lifted my head back up and blinked away some tears. Corrigan's eyes were concerned, but there was something else.
I frowned. "Are you angry?"
He blinked and the unnamed emotion was gone. With a brief smile, he hugged me again. "Don't worry about me. Are you ready to go?"
No deep talk. No words of explanation. No soul searching. This was why Corrigan knew me so well. I nodded.
When we got into his car, I asked, "What do you know about a girl named Carolina?"
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The next few weeks went by without much drama. Corrigan and I went to our classes. I didn't have any more run-ins with Grace or Cadence's group. Carolina and her girls flanked me everywhere I went. They must've felt that I needed protection, but I didn't mind. The girls were just there. They didn't pester me for information or try to play social games with me. I was happy with that. Leah came over at night. Carolina came once and I saw how she was fascinated with Corrigan, but as I got to know her more, I knew she kept her cards close to her chest. She wouldn't want him to know about her captivation.
Corrigan drove me after school and stayed every night. Bryce didn't call again. I wasn't sure if I was happy or relieved. I tried not to think about it and pressed on like a robot.
"Hey," Corrigan greeted as he came into the kitchen. He had showered and now wore his fraternity's polo. The royal blue looked official.
I whistled in approval and lifted my coffee cup in a salute. "You're looking official. What's up?"
"The House is hosting a banquet tonight on campus. It's for the pledges and their families."
"Are you taking donations?" I grinned. "That sounds like something used to pimp the purses of your alumni."
"Maybe." Corrigan chuckled as he took my cup and finished it. "After classes, we're heading to the Wilshire. Is your car still there? I'll be stuck at the banquet most of the night so…"
Bryce took a deep breath. He gentled his voice. "Are you okay?"
I gripped my phone hard when I heard the concern in his tone. He cared, and for a second, I felt my heart skip a beat. The old schoolgirl crush was coming back, but I gritted my teeth. He couldn't have that power over me. "You have no right calling me and asking me that. No right, Bryce. You can call her. You can worry about her. Don't call me again."
"Sheldon—"
I'd been about to hang up, but something stopped me.
Then I heard him continue, "Please listen to me. Please."
I choked out, feeling the threat of tears, "What? Say it quick."
"I don't know what I want to say. I'm sorry. I should have it planned out. Are you okay? Did the intruder get inside? Is someone with you? Is Corrigan there?" He paused for a moment. "I have to know that you're okay and that you're safe."
I heaved a deep breath. "Corrigan's with me, yes. We're fine. He got a new security system for me, and it worked. The intruder didn't get in, but I saw him—them—whoever at the window. It looked like Marcus."
"Marcus?!"
"I know. I know. He's dead. It wasn't him. I know, but…" It looked like him so much.
Bryce sound choked up. "Who is the security system through? Your other ones sucked."
"Hoodum did it."
"Oh. Good. He'll do a good job. Corrigan will make sure of it." His voice hitched on a note.
"He will." I nodded. More tears threatened to spill out. I hated that they came so easily for him. "What do you want, Bryce? Did you call because of the intruder? I'm fine. Officer Patterson knows that. She shouldn't have called you. I'm sure she just wanted the gossip on us."
"She didn't want gossip, Sheldon. She was just doing her job. It makes sense that a recent ex-boyfriend might be the stalker. We both know that. She grilled me, and I was honest about everything I knew."
"About Guadalupe? Did you tell Officer Patterson about her?"
His voice was quiet. "I did. She needs to know everything. I told her about Guadalupe and I explained to her what happened with us. She's trying to protect you. She needs to know my frame of mind."
"Too bad she didn't ask about mine," I bit out without thinking. "And aren't you the perfect citizen."
There was silence on his end.
My heart skipped a beat. I closed my eyes. I shouldn't have said that. I could've said something else. Wait—who was I? I don't doubt my words for anyone, but this was Bryce. He wasn't just anyone. I heaved a deep breath instead.
I didn't know what to say so I said nothing.
"Are you okay?" Bryce asked. He sounded genuine.
I closed my eyes and sucked in the pain. I didn't want it, but it was there. His words, his tone felt like a knife stabbing me in the throat. He cared, and I could hear the concern in his voice. He wasn't allowed to care anymore, right? Right? Could I care about him? What were the rules now? Had they changed?
"Sheldon?"
I took too long to answer. I mumbled, "I'm fine."
"Are you sure? I—"
"You what? What could you do? You can't do anything, Bryce. Not anymore. You shouldn't have even called me." My throat hurt so much. It felt too tight.
He sounded strained. "Sheldon, I still love you. Things aren't clear with us right now, but I'm always going to be a part of your life. You can't cut all those years. Since seventh grade—it's been that long for us. I'm a part of you."
"I'll adapt. I always do." What the hell was I saying? I didn't want him out of my life, but everything was so confusing. I counted to ten and tried to calm myself. "It's just harder when you call me." My voice broke.
"I know. I'm sorry," he whispered.
I bent over to rest my forehead on my knees. Why was everything so painful? When I drew in a shuddering breath, someone sat beside me. I felt them take my phone, and a second later Corrigan spoke into it, "Hey. I'll call you later."
Bryce responded, but Corrigan closed my phone. His hand found mine, and then he hugged me against him. I couldn't think or say anything. The pain was almost numbing—it blasted me completely. Slowly, so slowly, I lifted my head back up and blinked away some tears. Corrigan's eyes were concerned, but there was something else.
I frowned. "Are you angry?"
He blinked and the unnamed emotion was gone. With a brief smile, he hugged me again. "Don't worry about me. Are you ready to go?"
No deep talk. No words of explanation. No soul searching. This was why Corrigan knew me so well. I nodded.
When we got into his car, I asked, "What do you know about a girl named Carolina?"
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The next few weeks went by without much drama. Corrigan and I went to our classes. I didn't have any more run-ins with Grace or Cadence's group. Carolina and her girls flanked me everywhere I went. They must've felt that I needed protection, but I didn't mind. The girls were just there. They didn't pester me for information or try to play social games with me. I was happy with that. Leah came over at night. Carolina came once and I saw how she was fascinated with Corrigan, but as I got to know her more, I knew she kept her cards close to her chest. She wouldn't want him to know about her captivation.
Corrigan drove me after school and stayed every night. Bryce didn't call again. I wasn't sure if I was happy or relieved. I tried not to think about it and pressed on like a robot.
"Hey," Corrigan greeted as he came into the kitchen. He had showered and now wore his fraternity's polo. The royal blue looked official.
I whistled in approval and lifted my coffee cup in a salute. "You're looking official. What's up?"
"The House is hosting a banquet tonight on campus. It's for the pledges and their families."
"Are you taking donations?" I grinned. "That sounds like something used to pimp the purses of your alumni."
"Maybe." Corrigan chuckled as he took my cup and finished it. "After classes, we're heading to the Wilshire. Is your car still there? I'll be stuck at the banquet most of the night so…"
