Street Game
Page 57
Jaimie slid her hands over his back, up to his hair. “Yes. I love waking up to you.”
“I’ve been lying here next to you most of the night thinking about us.” He pressed kisses along the valley between her br**sts up to her throat. He propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over her, his dark gaze moving broodingly over her face.
Her heart jumped. She’d known this was coming since the rescue of the children.
Mack had to go back where he belonged. She’d gotten used to being with him, with the others. The others had left a few days earlier and she and Mack had spent days just worshipping each other’s bodies. They rarely left the bed for anything other than food and drink and to watch the ocean under a blanket of stars.
She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to lose him again; it was going to tear out her heart. She made a move to roll out from under him but he moved with his incredible speed and pinned her there. His hand on her shoulder was extremely gentle, yet she felt the steel in him, reminding her of the ease with which he’d carried the teenager through the embassy grounds and then leapt the fence with him.
She’d never forget the sight of Mack moving fast, the boy slung over his back, his face determined. Her heart fluttered. He’d been born a warrior. He’d been born to lead. She didn’t want to give him back, but she knew he had to go. He’d averted a nuclear war. She couldn’t keep him in her bed, tied to her.
Jaimie took a deep breath and braced herself, reluctantly meeting his eyes.
“Come back to me, Jaimie. I need you to come back,” Mack said softly. He pressed his finger over her mouth when she frowned and took a breath. “Listen to me.
I laid here for hours figuring things out. You’re part of me and when I don’t have you, I can’t breathe right, let alone function. You make me whole. You keep me mellow.
You’re the best person I know. I can talk about anything with you. Most of all, when I’m out there doing what I do, you’re the reason I do it. You’re the reason I know I’m going to make it back.” He brushed his mouth back and forth over hers in small, coaxing caresses. “With you, Jaimie, I’ve got everything. Without you, there isn’t much to life.”
“Mack, you said . . .” Jaimie’s heart was beating so hard she was afraid he could hear.
“I know what I said, Jaimie. It was bullshit. I want a home. With you. A family.
You are my family. You want children, we’ll have them. I don’t give a damn how many. Maybe a dozen so you don’t think about walking out on me again.”
She knew her shock showed on her face. She’d been dreading the moment he left, knowing he would be ripping out her heart, but she hadn’t expected him to ask her to go with him. “But . . .” Her business. Her warehouse. Everything she’d worked for.
Could she give it all up and follow him? To what? He’d be gone more than he’d be with her. But could she live, really live, without him?
“I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. I do. I want to wake up every morning to you. I want to sit in a rocking chair with you when we’re old. I want to laugh with you, cry with you. I also know what kind of life I’m offering.”
“Do you, Mack?” she asked. Because she’d shared the danger of missions with him and when he went out, she’d know exactly how bad it really was. She’d have to sit at home waiting, scared, alone. Completely alone.
His fingers bunched in her curls. “Of course I do, Jaimie. I took you for granted.
I’m not going to pretend I didn’t or that it won’t happen again. And I’m bossy. I won’t pretend I don’t know the way I am. I can be jealous and stupid when it comes to you, but no one will ever love you the way I do. I detest that word. It doesn’t say half of what I feel for you. Everyone loves ice cream. You’re my world. My heart. I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. And I know you’ve built something here. I’ll help you build it again with me.”
She opened her mouth twice before anything came out. “I wasn’t expecting this, Mack. I’m not prepared.”
He leaned in and kissed her, not above bribing her or seducing her if it worked.
Her mouth was magic, warm and soft and filled with passion, with fire, with everything Jaimie. His mouth left hers reluctantly. He pressed his forehead against hers. “Come back to me, baby.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered, terrified of losing him, of losing herself.
She’d fought hard to be her own person. “People establish patterns and we fell into one that wasn’t so good. What makes you think it will be different this time?”
He kissed her chin, the corners of her mouth. His teeth tugged on her lower lip and he brushed kisses there too. “Because I’m different. So are you. I know we’re good together. I’m better with you than on my own.”
Jaimie sat up, needing to put space between them. She couldn’t think when he was holding her, when his body was wrapped so strong and protectively around hers.
When she felt their energies connected, as if they shared the same skin with one heart beating between them. Not when he was saying words she’d always dreamt he’d say to her. She slid out of bed and paced a couple of steps away, the only safe way to say what needed saying.
Jaimie looked at his face. The hard angles and planes. His firm mouth and strong jaw. Everything she needed was right there. But he was born for something far more and he loved what he did. Loved it. He wasn’t going to stop and he shouldn’t. But she didn’t fit into that world. Tears clogged her throat, burned together into a lump she couldn’t swallow.
She fought to keep her voice even. “You know I can’t. I built a business here, Mack. I work for Sergeant Major, but he leaves me alone. If I went back . . .” She trailed off, her voice trembling.
Mack dropped his head in his hands and stayed there for a long moment, bracing himself. He knew, in the end, it would come to this. This was going to hurt bad—very bad. He just hadn’t expected such a wrench. She’d sacrificed for him once and he’d thrown it away. He could see her point. He straightened, his eyes meeting hers. “Then I’ll quit.”
She blinked. Shock registered. She actually took a step backward. “Mack. Don’t be crazy. You can’t quit.” Comprehension dawned. Her trembling mouth firmed.
“They won’t let you quit. You know that, but I appreciate the gesture.”
“It’s no gesture, Jaimie. From the moment I woke up on Whitney’s table and realized all of us had not only been psychically enhanced, but genetically altered as well, I knew we had to plan for a future. I’ve been doing that and the boys have all joined with me. It’s a little earlier than I’d planned for, but we can disappear if we need to.”
“How?” she demanded. “I thought I was out, and look what happened. They manipulated me from the moment I left our house. Every contract, every person I came into contact with. I’m still working for them. And they sent Joe. It was an elaborate babysitting operation. I’m not even certain what’s going to happen now. I doubt they’ll leave me completely alone ever, not as long as I’m useful to them.”
“They won’t,” Mack agreed. “But if you’re certain that’s what you want, we have a plan, and the money to do it.”
Shivering, she picked up her robe and wrapped herself in it. “How would you get the money, Mack? It would take a lot of money. And we’d always be on the run.”
“Not necessarily. We’re privy to information others might not have. Javier can invest and play the stock market for us when we know we’re about to hit something that will affect the market. It’s not exactly kosher, but we’ve pooled our money. Team Two, the SEAL team, has a fortress in the mountains. They’ve banded together and have a training center right there. We can do something similar. The boys have been researching places if we want to settle and stay in, but also possible retirement areas we can defend.”
Jaimie shook her head. “Mack, you would never be happy in retirement. You know you wouldn’t.”
“What do I have without you, Jaimie?” He looked up at her. “I’m serious. How many times can I go out and come back to nothing? After a while you lose your incentive.”
She turned away from him and looked down at her hands. She was trembling.
With fear. She wanted Mack, but did she want him to give up everything he was for her? Was that the price she wanted him to pay because he’d hurt her? She detested that she’d put him in this position. “Mack.” Her voice was gentle. Aching. “You’d grow to hate me. You live for this.”
“I live for you. I love being in Force Recon in the GhostWalker unit. That word you always want me to say to you. I love what I do. The missions. The action. The ability to make a difference in the world. I love that, Jaimie. But you’re my other half.
You’re everything. I don’t know how else to say it to you. There are no words for the way I feel about you. I hurt you, I know I did. I wanted to be your everything, more than love. I didn’t want to believe you could walk away from me and I let pride get in the way. I wanted you to come back to me on your own.”
His throat closed and he cleared it, pressing his fingers to his stinging eyes. “I could never have walked away from you. I still can’t. The thought never once entered my mind. We were supposed to be together always. Always. Through everything, no matter how bad it got. It was always going to be us.”
“You said there was no future.”
“That’s what you heard, Jaimie; that’s not what I said. You were so upset over the mission. Three of my men—our brothers—men depending on me were hurt. We’d walked into an ambush. It really hit home where I’d led everyone. Most of the boys wouldn’t have joined the GhostWalker program if I hadn’t encouraged them. I probably could have stopped them all. I was wallowing in self-pity, not throwing you away. I needed you right then. More than anything, I needed you.”
He held up his hand before she could reply. “I realize you needed me right then too. In any case, Jaimie, all that matters now is what we decide to do about this. You have to make up your mind how important I am to you. If you decide you’re going to be with me, it’s forever. You can’t have one foot out the door because I’m an idiot and say or do the wrong thing. You’ve got to hit me over the head and tell me to straighten up.” He looked up at her, his dark eyes twin pools of emotion. “Say it, Jaimie. Say you choose me no matter what happens.”
He held his breath. Every cell in his body went on alert, much the same way it did on a mission. He was aware of the breath moving in and out of her body, of the way shadows chased across her face and the moonlight bathed the room in silver. Her lips parted.
His heart pounded. Say it. A whisper in her mind. A plea when he never pleaded.
“There will never be anyone else, Mack,” she said, her eyes going liquid.
He didn’t dare move. He didn’t know whether thunder cracked outside or whether it was his heart. Say it. He was rigid. His jaw set, every muscle locked, his gut coiled tight.
“I choose you forever, Mack. Forever.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, under her silk robe, and dragged her to him, pressing his face against her soft belly. A shudder went through his body. His hands trembled. “That’s your word, Jaimie. You’re giving me your word.”
She cradled his head to her, just holding him, her fingers brushing small caresses through his hair. “Yes. And just so you know, we’re not going to run away from them.
You just stopped a war before it even got started, Mack. I’m not so selfish that I’m going to try to keep you to myself. We can save our money and keep investing.
“I’ve been lying here next to you most of the night thinking about us.” He pressed kisses along the valley between her br**sts up to her throat. He propped himself up on one elbow, leaning over her, his dark gaze moving broodingly over her face.
Her heart jumped. She’d known this was coming since the rescue of the children.
Mack had to go back where he belonged. She’d gotten used to being with him, with the others. The others had left a few days earlier and she and Mack had spent days just worshipping each other’s bodies. They rarely left the bed for anything other than food and drink and to watch the ocean under a blanket of stars.
She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to lose him again; it was going to tear out her heart. She made a move to roll out from under him but he moved with his incredible speed and pinned her there. His hand on her shoulder was extremely gentle, yet she felt the steel in him, reminding her of the ease with which he’d carried the teenager through the embassy grounds and then leapt the fence with him.
She’d never forget the sight of Mack moving fast, the boy slung over his back, his face determined. Her heart fluttered. He’d been born a warrior. He’d been born to lead. She didn’t want to give him back, but she knew he had to go. He’d averted a nuclear war. She couldn’t keep him in her bed, tied to her.
Jaimie took a deep breath and braced herself, reluctantly meeting his eyes.
“Come back to me, Jaimie. I need you to come back,” Mack said softly. He pressed his finger over her mouth when she frowned and took a breath. “Listen to me.
I laid here for hours figuring things out. You’re part of me and when I don’t have you, I can’t breathe right, let alone function. You make me whole. You keep me mellow.
You’re the best person I know. I can talk about anything with you. Most of all, when I’m out there doing what I do, you’re the reason I do it. You’re the reason I know I’m going to make it back.” He brushed his mouth back and forth over hers in small, coaxing caresses. “With you, Jaimie, I’ve got everything. Without you, there isn’t much to life.”
“Mack, you said . . .” Jaimie’s heart was beating so hard she was afraid he could hear.
“I know what I said, Jaimie. It was bullshit. I want a home. With you. A family.
You are my family. You want children, we’ll have them. I don’t give a damn how many. Maybe a dozen so you don’t think about walking out on me again.”
She knew her shock showed on her face. She’d been dreading the moment he left, knowing he would be ripping out her heart, but she hadn’t expected him to ask her to go with him. “But . . .” Her business. Her warehouse. Everything she’d worked for.
Could she give it all up and follow him? To what? He’d be gone more than he’d be with her. But could she live, really live, without him?
“I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. I do. I want to wake up every morning to you. I want to sit in a rocking chair with you when we’re old. I want to laugh with you, cry with you. I also know what kind of life I’m offering.”
“Do you, Mack?” she asked. Because she’d shared the danger of missions with him and when he went out, she’d know exactly how bad it really was. She’d have to sit at home waiting, scared, alone. Completely alone.
His fingers bunched in her curls. “Of course I do, Jaimie. I took you for granted.
I’m not going to pretend I didn’t or that it won’t happen again. And I’m bossy. I won’t pretend I don’t know the way I am. I can be jealous and stupid when it comes to you, but no one will ever love you the way I do. I detest that word. It doesn’t say half of what I feel for you. Everyone loves ice cream. You’re my world. My heart. I know what I’m asking, Jaimie. And I know you’ve built something here. I’ll help you build it again with me.”
She opened her mouth twice before anything came out. “I wasn’t expecting this, Mack. I’m not prepared.”
He leaned in and kissed her, not above bribing her or seducing her if it worked.
Her mouth was magic, warm and soft and filled with passion, with fire, with everything Jaimie. His mouth left hers reluctantly. He pressed his forehead against hers. “Come back to me, baby.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered, terrified of losing him, of losing herself.
She’d fought hard to be her own person. “People establish patterns and we fell into one that wasn’t so good. What makes you think it will be different this time?”
He kissed her chin, the corners of her mouth. His teeth tugged on her lower lip and he brushed kisses there too. “Because I’m different. So are you. I know we’re good together. I’m better with you than on my own.”
Jaimie sat up, needing to put space between them. She couldn’t think when he was holding her, when his body was wrapped so strong and protectively around hers.
When she felt their energies connected, as if they shared the same skin with one heart beating between them. Not when he was saying words she’d always dreamt he’d say to her. She slid out of bed and paced a couple of steps away, the only safe way to say what needed saying.
Jaimie looked at his face. The hard angles and planes. His firm mouth and strong jaw. Everything she needed was right there. But he was born for something far more and he loved what he did. Loved it. He wasn’t going to stop and he shouldn’t. But she didn’t fit into that world. Tears clogged her throat, burned together into a lump she couldn’t swallow.
She fought to keep her voice even. “You know I can’t. I built a business here, Mack. I work for Sergeant Major, but he leaves me alone. If I went back . . .” She trailed off, her voice trembling.
Mack dropped his head in his hands and stayed there for a long moment, bracing himself. He knew, in the end, it would come to this. This was going to hurt bad—very bad. He just hadn’t expected such a wrench. She’d sacrificed for him once and he’d thrown it away. He could see her point. He straightened, his eyes meeting hers. “Then I’ll quit.”
She blinked. Shock registered. She actually took a step backward. “Mack. Don’t be crazy. You can’t quit.” Comprehension dawned. Her trembling mouth firmed.
“They won’t let you quit. You know that, but I appreciate the gesture.”
“It’s no gesture, Jaimie. From the moment I woke up on Whitney’s table and realized all of us had not only been psychically enhanced, but genetically altered as well, I knew we had to plan for a future. I’ve been doing that and the boys have all joined with me. It’s a little earlier than I’d planned for, but we can disappear if we need to.”
“How?” she demanded. “I thought I was out, and look what happened. They manipulated me from the moment I left our house. Every contract, every person I came into contact with. I’m still working for them. And they sent Joe. It was an elaborate babysitting operation. I’m not even certain what’s going to happen now. I doubt they’ll leave me completely alone ever, not as long as I’m useful to them.”
“They won’t,” Mack agreed. “But if you’re certain that’s what you want, we have a plan, and the money to do it.”
Shivering, she picked up her robe and wrapped herself in it. “How would you get the money, Mack? It would take a lot of money. And we’d always be on the run.”
“Not necessarily. We’re privy to information others might not have. Javier can invest and play the stock market for us when we know we’re about to hit something that will affect the market. It’s not exactly kosher, but we’ve pooled our money. Team Two, the SEAL team, has a fortress in the mountains. They’ve banded together and have a training center right there. We can do something similar. The boys have been researching places if we want to settle and stay in, but also possible retirement areas we can defend.”
Jaimie shook her head. “Mack, you would never be happy in retirement. You know you wouldn’t.”
“What do I have without you, Jaimie?” He looked up at her. “I’m serious. How many times can I go out and come back to nothing? After a while you lose your incentive.”
She turned away from him and looked down at her hands. She was trembling.
With fear. She wanted Mack, but did she want him to give up everything he was for her? Was that the price she wanted him to pay because he’d hurt her? She detested that she’d put him in this position. “Mack.” Her voice was gentle. Aching. “You’d grow to hate me. You live for this.”
“I live for you. I love being in Force Recon in the GhostWalker unit. That word you always want me to say to you. I love what I do. The missions. The action. The ability to make a difference in the world. I love that, Jaimie. But you’re my other half.
You’re everything. I don’t know how else to say it to you. There are no words for the way I feel about you. I hurt you, I know I did. I wanted to be your everything, more than love. I didn’t want to believe you could walk away from me and I let pride get in the way. I wanted you to come back to me on your own.”
His throat closed and he cleared it, pressing his fingers to his stinging eyes. “I could never have walked away from you. I still can’t. The thought never once entered my mind. We were supposed to be together always. Always. Through everything, no matter how bad it got. It was always going to be us.”
“You said there was no future.”
“That’s what you heard, Jaimie; that’s not what I said. You were so upset over the mission. Three of my men—our brothers—men depending on me were hurt. We’d walked into an ambush. It really hit home where I’d led everyone. Most of the boys wouldn’t have joined the GhostWalker program if I hadn’t encouraged them. I probably could have stopped them all. I was wallowing in self-pity, not throwing you away. I needed you right then. More than anything, I needed you.”
He held up his hand before she could reply. “I realize you needed me right then too. In any case, Jaimie, all that matters now is what we decide to do about this. You have to make up your mind how important I am to you. If you decide you’re going to be with me, it’s forever. You can’t have one foot out the door because I’m an idiot and say or do the wrong thing. You’ve got to hit me over the head and tell me to straighten up.” He looked up at her, his dark eyes twin pools of emotion. “Say it, Jaimie. Say you choose me no matter what happens.”
He held his breath. Every cell in his body went on alert, much the same way it did on a mission. He was aware of the breath moving in and out of her body, of the way shadows chased across her face and the moonlight bathed the room in silver. Her lips parted.
His heart pounded. Say it. A whisper in her mind. A plea when he never pleaded.
“There will never be anyone else, Mack,” she said, her eyes going liquid.
He didn’t dare move. He didn’t know whether thunder cracked outside or whether it was his heart. Say it. He was rigid. His jaw set, every muscle locked, his gut coiled tight.
“I choose you forever, Mack. Forever.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist, under her silk robe, and dragged her to him, pressing his face against her soft belly. A shudder went through his body. His hands trembled. “That’s your word, Jaimie. You’re giving me your word.”
She cradled his head to her, just holding him, her fingers brushing small caresses through his hair. “Yes. And just so you know, we’re not going to run away from them.
You just stopped a war before it even got started, Mack. I’m not so selfish that I’m going to try to keep you to myself. We can save our money and keep investing.
