Stupid Girl
Page 16
One corner of his mouth lifted—a habit of his that was addicting to look at. “Cool, huh, Sunshine?” Still, his hand splayed over my lower back, and I swear, I found myself not wanting him to remove it. Then, he lifted my braid, played with it between his fingers for a moment, then flicked it over my shoulder. “Yeah, show me something cool. Although it’s gotta be damn good to beat what’s right in front of me.”
I knew Brax was doing exactly what he did with all girls: flirt like a hellion. He’d even told me it was all in fun and part of his character, and for me not to take it personally. It was harder than I thought. A pent-up exhale slowly released from my lungs, through my pursed lips, and I laughed nervously. “It’s way cooler. I promise.” I hit the exhibit display lights, and the room darkened. “Come on, Boston. Follow me.” I started up the aisle toward the door, its EXIT illuminating red hue the only light in the auditorium. Brax walked behind me, guiding me with his strong hand, and each of his fingertips left an impression in my skin, I was sure of it. At the door, he grabbed my supplies bucket, reached around me and pushed it open, and I stepped out.
Noah Hicks stood just beyond in the foyer, as if he was expecting us. He smiled at me, but his gaze turned questioning and cautious toward Brax. “I see you found Olivia with no problem,” he said. “How’d you like the display?”
Brax’s body closed in toward mine. “Fucking spectacular.” His fingers dug into my back. “Never seen one like it before, man.”
Noah gave a brief look at me, then nodded. I wondered if he got the gist of Brax’s words that had nothing to do with the display. Or was I kidding myself again? Noah then smiled at me. “You’re going to the platform, I guess? Clear sky with a decent lunar slice to observe. I just unlocked my office, if you want to get your scope.” He moved past us then, and brushed his hand over my shoulder. Brax pushed closer, and I felt his chest against my back. “I’ll start locking up in about an hour,” Noah said.
“Okay, thank you,” I replied. I glanced back at Brax. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.”
I left Noah and Brax sizing each other up and hurried down the hallway. What was that all about? The energy pouring off of Brax had taken me off guard, so potent and possessive. How could that be? And Noah? I knew him less than I did Brax, yet I’d noticed a total change in his demeanor, as well. Like two big cats facing off. It couldn’t be that I was bringing a friend to the platform; Noah had already approved that. Was it Brax he didn’t approve of? No doubt the rumors surrounding him didn’t exclude the faculty.
In Noah’s office I grabbed my scope bag, slung it over my shoulder and hurried back. “Okay, let’s go,” I said to Brax. He and Noah were staring each other down like a couple of gladiators. Brax looking like a street thug, Noah like a, well … a manicured professional. Neither moved or said a word, so I stepped closer, grabbed Brax’s hand, and tugged. “This way, gotta hurry.” Brax’s body shifted toward my pull, and I threw Noah a friendly smile. “Thanks again. We’ll be back down shortly.”
Noah nodded at me, turned and disappeared down the hall and into his office.
Brax lifted my scope bag from my arm and shouldered it, and we curved around the hallway and came to the doorway that led to the observatory’s dome and massive platform. My heart raced ninety-to-nothing, and confusion warped my brain. I stopped, dropped Brax’s hand, and turned to him. I kept my voice low. “If I invite you back here you’ll have to leave that Southie badass disposition behind, Brax. Noah is one of my bosses. A TA for the astronomy department. And, he’s nice. So whatever got your hackles up with him, relax. No bullying. Got it?”
Crystal blue eyes snapped with mischief, and his lip twitched. “You got it, Sunshine. No bullying.” He rubbed his jaw. “This time.”
10. Sunshine
Brax ducked his head as if to get a better look into my eyes. A slow smile crept over his mouth. “God, you’ve got the cutest accent. Damn, Gracie. I like this side of you.”
I opened the door and turned to him. He made me feel comfortable, brave, safe and cagey all at once. It was a disconcerting hairball of emotions to say the very least. “It’s not a side, Brax. It’s just me. This job’s important¸ okay? Not only to me, but to my family. So don’t get me into trouble.” I forced my eyes to stay on his. “I’m not working here to make extra money to go on a spending spree at the mall, you know. I send what I don’t live on to my family. To help with the expenses of the ranch.” I sighed. “I’ve trusted you so far, and that doesn’t come easy for me. With you or anyone else. So please don’t make me regret it. And just about everyone here has the same accent. Texas.”
A softness settled across Brax’s face then; like many of his expressions, it changed the contours of his face, shifted harshness into marbled perfection, into something I thought I could stare at for hours on end. Something else flickered in his eyes, though; misconception? Curiosity? To try and read it, or his thoughts, was ridiculous. He was as inscrutable as a guy could be. But when he lifted his hand to my jaw, grasping it with his thumb and forefinger, and forced me to keep my sight on his, I had to swallow past the humongous lump in my throat that had grown in a matter of seconds.
“You’re different from any girl I’ve ever met. I could tell that the second I looked down at you on the lawn. And you know what?” He pulled even closer. “Regrets are little bastards, Gracie, and we all have them, only,” he drew closer, his voice quieted, “you won’t have them with me. And I can’t help that I don’t trust the guy. Unlike you, I see through his stiff-collared play-by-the-rules prickness. Like it or not, he’s a dick. Just a cleaned up dick with a title. You watch him. I fuckin’ mean it.”
I stared at him for a second or two. Was Brax crazy? Like mentally unstable? I felt no threat whatsoever with Noah Hicks. He was courteous and professional, nothing more. Wasn’t he?
I’d thought the same thing about Kelsy Evans at one time, too. Don’t you let your guard down, Olivia. With Noah, Brax, or anyone else for that matter. You’ll just get your teeth kicked in. I gave a nod, agreeing with my inner self, and opened the door. “Will do. Now let’s go. We’re running out of time.”
Brax said nothing more as he trailed behind me, but his presence filled the narrow stairwell. We could’ve taken the elevators, but I liked how my body felt after a vigorous climb; how my lungs felt exercised, alive. Brax’s breath was smooth, even, barely noticeable. I’d figured he could handle the seven story sprint, as fit as he looked.
At the top, Brax reached around me once more and pushed open the door, and I led us both out to the platform. The night air wasn’t as still and heavy as it had been lately, which was a sheer Texas blessing and as close to pre-fall weather as we’d get. A soft breeze brushed my cheeks and cooled my skin, and Brax set my bag on the platform by my feet. The three-quarter moon offered a strange filtered radiance—just enough to see my way around the platform without the use of a flashlight. Brax’s head moved with his gaze as he took in the impressive tower. He pointed to a row of mounts, close to the ledge.
“Basic scope mounts,” I offered. “For the general public’s use.” Kneeling, I unzipped my bag and pulled out first my tripod, assembled the lower aspect, and set it upright. I knew my scope so well I could do it blindfolded. Then Brax was kneeling with me, and he studied as I collected my scope pieces and locked them onto my tripod mount. We were still crouched, and I knew he watched me, and suddenly, I felt shy. Conspicuous. Peculiar and totally out of my element. Like maybe it was a bad idea, sharing this part of my life with a virtual stranger. Especially one like Brax Jenkins. I mean, he was a star athlete. Big shot Winston bad-boy athlete. I was … an astronomy geek. We were about as different as night and day. And I was an idiot for even entertaining thoughts of anything more than friendship. I started to rise, but his hand to my wrist kept me in place.
“You,” Brax said, and again, ducked his head, “are one badass lady. Smart and beautiful. I like that.”
I looked at him and even under the cover of shadow, my face grew hot with embarrassment and I knew he could tell it. My eyes drifted down to a spot between my feet, but Brax’s knuckle lifted my gaze right back up. I swallowed hard. His dark brows, so conflicting against the fair color of his skin, lifted, just before he grinned. “No shit, Gracie. Look at you. You just threw that scope together like it was nothin’. You put together your own bookcase. You have a tool box. You drive a fuckin’ Mad Max tank for Christ’s sake.” He rubbed his jaw as he studied me, then grazed the scar on my lip with his thumb. “Your cell phone’s a relic, and you send extra money home to your folks. Like I said before. Different. And different is pretty goddamned appealing to me.”
I was speechless. Frozen in place. Uncomfortable. Ecstatic. Yet, my mouth opened, and I spoke. “Funny. Those were all qualities that set me apart from other girls in high school. Made me about as much of a novelty as this,” I held my ringed finger up. “I was made fun of. People talked behind my back.” I rose and busied myself with locking the scope onto the mount. Brax stood behind me, and I continued. “I knew it, though, and didn’t care, really. I mean, it was me. Who I was.” I gave him a quick glance, and he studied me in silence. “I was comfortable with myself and wasn’t changing for anyone.” I pushed my braid over my shoulder, checked the scope locks, then looked skyward. Finding the moon, I situated the eyepiece, zeroed the target, tilted the scope, and pressed my eye to it. Forced myself to breathe.
“I’m damn glad of that.” Brax’s raspy voice spoke with certainty; maybe a little admiration. Or surprise. And very close. You’re being stupid again …
“Well,” I shook off my self-chastising and continued setting the scope. “I’m … relieved you appreciate my individuality.” I lifted my head and looked at him, and gave him a half smile. “Or maybe you just have weird taste in friends.” I stepped out of the way and inclined my head toward the scope.
Brax’s shoulder brushed mine as he moved to take my place, but he didn’t comment. He lowered his head to the eyepiece and I studied his profile. In the shadows, his features were fierce, set, cut in stone like a gargoyle, maybe, and I was again disarmed by how brutal yet completely stunning he was. “Are you f**king kidding me?” he said in a low voice. Pulling his eye from the view finder, he grinned, then returned his gaze to the telescope positioned toward the moon’s surface. “Christ, I’ve never seen anything like it, Gracie.” Moments went by, and I waited in the dark as he scoured the stars. I felt thrilled Brax was intrigued. For some crazy reason, I’d hoped he would be.
“I guess we’d better pack it up,” I finally said. “I don’t want to abuse my privileges on the first day.”
Brax straightened and made his mouth twitch. “You a by-the-book type of girl, yeah?”
I nodded. “Especially when it comes to my job. Yes.” I reached for the scope, about to start unlocking the pieces, but Brax beat me to it. I watched, and to my surprise he’d really paid close attention. He broke every scope piece and mount part down perfectly. I crouched beside him and held open the bag while he loaded the pieces carefully inside. When he finished, he pointed.
“What’s with the camera?”
I zipped the bag, Brax shouldered it, and we both rose. “Celestial photography,” I answered. I started toward the platform door, and he followed. Inside the stairwell, the lights were dim. “Sometimes the lighting is perfect, and objects are sharp. I don’t like to miss an opportunity.”
He reached the bottom just ahead of me and he stopped. The space between us was non-existent, he was so close, and with me one step up we were nearly eye level. “Neither do I.”
The surge of electricity between us pinged off the walls of the stairwell, bringing awareness to all of my senses. The scent of Brax’s skin smelled clean, like soap, and it mixed with the faint aroma of fresh paint on the concrete walls. The warmth inside the stairwell brought a slight sheen of moisture to my arms, neck, face, and with each breath Brax released, it washed over me and cooled my skin. My heart slammed against my ribs, and we just stared. I couldn’t move, frozen to the step I stood on. I knew I wasn’t imagining it. Brax’s gaze lowered to my mouth and stayed there long enough to make my breath lodge in my throat. Suddenly the scar through my lip seemed twice as large, and I tried to hide it with my teeth.
“Don’t do that,” Brax said. His thumb brushed over my scar, and he looked at me. “Don’t hide that scar. Don’t hide who you are, Gracie. Ever.” Scah.
Brax’s broad shoulders shifted, and his body leaned toward me. My mind was clogged, confused, but all I knew was I wanted his mouth on mine. I wanted him to kiss me. Oh, God, he’s going to kiss me …
The exit door opened, and I jumped back as Noah Hicks stepped inside. Luckily, his gaze was directly on Brax instead of me, because no doubt I had guilt written all over my face. “Hey, I was just coming to check out your scope.” Brax had shifted back and stood tall, eye to eye with Noah. “But I see you’ve already packed it up. What’d you think?” he asked Brax.
Brax didn’t answer right away, and I got the feeling he did it on purpose. “Fucking amazing,” he finally said, then reached back and grabbed my hand. “We were just heading out. Thanks for letting me in, man.” He moved past Noah, towing me behind him.
I knew Brax was doing exactly what he did with all girls: flirt like a hellion. He’d even told me it was all in fun and part of his character, and for me not to take it personally. It was harder than I thought. A pent-up exhale slowly released from my lungs, through my pursed lips, and I laughed nervously. “It’s way cooler. I promise.” I hit the exhibit display lights, and the room darkened. “Come on, Boston. Follow me.” I started up the aisle toward the door, its EXIT illuminating red hue the only light in the auditorium. Brax walked behind me, guiding me with his strong hand, and each of his fingertips left an impression in my skin, I was sure of it. At the door, he grabbed my supplies bucket, reached around me and pushed it open, and I stepped out.
Noah Hicks stood just beyond in the foyer, as if he was expecting us. He smiled at me, but his gaze turned questioning and cautious toward Brax. “I see you found Olivia with no problem,” he said. “How’d you like the display?”
Brax’s body closed in toward mine. “Fucking spectacular.” His fingers dug into my back. “Never seen one like it before, man.”
Noah gave a brief look at me, then nodded. I wondered if he got the gist of Brax’s words that had nothing to do with the display. Or was I kidding myself again? Noah then smiled at me. “You’re going to the platform, I guess? Clear sky with a decent lunar slice to observe. I just unlocked my office, if you want to get your scope.” He moved past us then, and brushed his hand over my shoulder. Brax pushed closer, and I felt his chest against my back. “I’ll start locking up in about an hour,” Noah said.
“Okay, thank you,” I replied. I glanced back at Brax. “I’ll be right back. Wait here.”
I left Noah and Brax sizing each other up and hurried down the hallway. What was that all about? The energy pouring off of Brax had taken me off guard, so potent and possessive. How could that be? And Noah? I knew him less than I did Brax, yet I’d noticed a total change in his demeanor, as well. Like two big cats facing off. It couldn’t be that I was bringing a friend to the platform; Noah had already approved that. Was it Brax he didn’t approve of? No doubt the rumors surrounding him didn’t exclude the faculty.
In Noah’s office I grabbed my scope bag, slung it over my shoulder and hurried back. “Okay, let’s go,” I said to Brax. He and Noah were staring each other down like a couple of gladiators. Brax looking like a street thug, Noah like a, well … a manicured professional. Neither moved or said a word, so I stepped closer, grabbed Brax’s hand, and tugged. “This way, gotta hurry.” Brax’s body shifted toward my pull, and I threw Noah a friendly smile. “Thanks again. We’ll be back down shortly.”
Noah nodded at me, turned and disappeared down the hall and into his office.
Brax lifted my scope bag from my arm and shouldered it, and we curved around the hallway and came to the doorway that led to the observatory’s dome and massive platform. My heart raced ninety-to-nothing, and confusion warped my brain. I stopped, dropped Brax’s hand, and turned to him. I kept my voice low. “If I invite you back here you’ll have to leave that Southie badass disposition behind, Brax. Noah is one of my bosses. A TA for the astronomy department. And, he’s nice. So whatever got your hackles up with him, relax. No bullying. Got it?”
Crystal blue eyes snapped with mischief, and his lip twitched. “You got it, Sunshine. No bullying.” He rubbed his jaw. “This time.”
10. Sunshine
Brax ducked his head as if to get a better look into my eyes. A slow smile crept over his mouth. “God, you’ve got the cutest accent. Damn, Gracie. I like this side of you.”
I opened the door and turned to him. He made me feel comfortable, brave, safe and cagey all at once. It was a disconcerting hairball of emotions to say the very least. “It’s not a side, Brax. It’s just me. This job’s important¸ okay? Not only to me, but to my family. So don’t get me into trouble.” I forced my eyes to stay on his. “I’m not working here to make extra money to go on a spending spree at the mall, you know. I send what I don’t live on to my family. To help with the expenses of the ranch.” I sighed. “I’ve trusted you so far, and that doesn’t come easy for me. With you or anyone else. So please don’t make me regret it. And just about everyone here has the same accent. Texas.”
A softness settled across Brax’s face then; like many of his expressions, it changed the contours of his face, shifted harshness into marbled perfection, into something I thought I could stare at for hours on end. Something else flickered in his eyes, though; misconception? Curiosity? To try and read it, or his thoughts, was ridiculous. He was as inscrutable as a guy could be. But when he lifted his hand to my jaw, grasping it with his thumb and forefinger, and forced me to keep my sight on his, I had to swallow past the humongous lump in my throat that had grown in a matter of seconds.
“You’re different from any girl I’ve ever met. I could tell that the second I looked down at you on the lawn. And you know what?” He pulled even closer. “Regrets are little bastards, Gracie, and we all have them, only,” he drew closer, his voice quieted, “you won’t have them with me. And I can’t help that I don’t trust the guy. Unlike you, I see through his stiff-collared play-by-the-rules prickness. Like it or not, he’s a dick. Just a cleaned up dick with a title. You watch him. I fuckin’ mean it.”
I stared at him for a second or two. Was Brax crazy? Like mentally unstable? I felt no threat whatsoever with Noah Hicks. He was courteous and professional, nothing more. Wasn’t he?
I’d thought the same thing about Kelsy Evans at one time, too. Don’t you let your guard down, Olivia. With Noah, Brax, or anyone else for that matter. You’ll just get your teeth kicked in. I gave a nod, agreeing with my inner self, and opened the door. “Will do. Now let’s go. We’re running out of time.”
Brax said nothing more as he trailed behind me, but his presence filled the narrow stairwell. We could’ve taken the elevators, but I liked how my body felt after a vigorous climb; how my lungs felt exercised, alive. Brax’s breath was smooth, even, barely noticeable. I’d figured he could handle the seven story sprint, as fit as he looked.
At the top, Brax reached around me once more and pushed open the door, and I led us both out to the platform. The night air wasn’t as still and heavy as it had been lately, which was a sheer Texas blessing and as close to pre-fall weather as we’d get. A soft breeze brushed my cheeks and cooled my skin, and Brax set my bag on the platform by my feet. The three-quarter moon offered a strange filtered radiance—just enough to see my way around the platform without the use of a flashlight. Brax’s head moved with his gaze as he took in the impressive tower. He pointed to a row of mounts, close to the ledge.
“Basic scope mounts,” I offered. “For the general public’s use.” Kneeling, I unzipped my bag and pulled out first my tripod, assembled the lower aspect, and set it upright. I knew my scope so well I could do it blindfolded. Then Brax was kneeling with me, and he studied as I collected my scope pieces and locked them onto my tripod mount. We were still crouched, and I knew he watched me, and suddenly, I felt shy. Conspicuous. Peculiar and totally out of my element. Like maybe it was a bad idea, sharing this part of my life with a virtual stranger. Especially one like Brax Jenkins. I mean, he was a star athlete. Big shot Winston bad-boy athlete. I was … an astronomy geek. We were about as different as night and day. And I was an idiot for even entertaining thoughts of anything more than friendship. I started to rise, but his hand to my wrist kept me in place.
“You,” Brax said, and again, ducked his head, “are one badass lady. Smart and beautiful. I like that.”
I looked at him and even under the cover of shadow, my face grew hot with embarrassment and I knew he could tell it. My eyes drifted down to a spot between my feet, but Brax’s knuckle lifted my gaze right back up. I swallowed hard. His dark brows, so conflicting against the fair color of his skin, lifted, just before he grinned. “No shit, Gracie. Look at you. You just threw that scope together like it was nothin’. You put together your own bookcase. You have a tool box. You drive a fuckin’ Mad Max tank for Christ’s sake.” He rubbed his jaw as he studied me, then grazed the scar on my lip with his thumb. “Your cell phone’s a relic, and you send extra money home to your folks. Like I said before. Different. And different is pretty goddamned appealing to me.”
I was speechless. Frozen in place. Uncomfortable. Ecstatic. Yet, my mouth opened, and I spoke. “Funny. Those were all qualities that set me apart from other girls in high school. Made me about as much of a novelty as this,” I held my ringed finger up. “I was made fun of. People talked behind my back.” I rose and busied myself with locking the scope onto the mount. Brax stood behind me, and I continued. “I knew it, though, and didn’t care, really. I mean, it was me. Who I was.” I gave him a quick glance, and he studied me in silence. “I was comfortable with myself and wasn’t changing for anyone.” I pushed my braid over my shoulder, checked the scope locks, then looked skyward. Finding the moon, I situated the eyepiece, zeroed the target, tilted the scope, and pressed my eye to it. Forced myself to breathe.
“I’m damn glad of that.” Brax’s raspy voice spoke with certainty; maybe a little admiration. Or surprise. And very close. You’re being stupid again …
“Well,” I shook off my self-chastising and continued setting the scope. “I’m … relieved you appreciate my individuality.” I lifted my head and looked at him, and gave him a half smile. “Or maybe you just have weird taste in friends.” I stepped out of the way and inclined my head toward the scope.
Brax’s shoulder brushed mine as he moved to take my place, but he didn’t comment. He lowered his head to the eyepiece and I studied his profile. In the shadows, his features were fierce, set, cut in stone like a gargoyle, maybe, and I was again disarmed by how brutal yet completely stunning he was. “Are you f**king kidding me?” he said in a low voice. Pulling his eye from the view finder, he grinned, then returned his gaze to the telescope positioned toward the moon’s surface. “Christ, I’ve never seen anything like it, Gracie.” Moments went by, and I waited in the dark as he scoured the stars. I felt thrilled Brax was intrigued. For some crazy reason, I’d hoped he would be.
“I guess we’d better pack it up,” I finally said. “I don’t want to abuse my privileges on the first day.”
Brax straightened and made his mouth twitch. “You a by-the-book type of girl, yeah?”
I nodded. “Especially when it comes to my job. Yes.” I reached for the scope, about to start unlocking the pieces, but Brax beat me to it. I watched, and to my surprise he’d really paid close attention. He broke every scope piece and mount part down perfectly. I crouched beside him and held open the bag while he loaded the pieces carefully inside. When he finished, he pointed.
“What’s with the camera?”
I zipped the bag, Brax shouldered it, and we both rose. “Celestial photography,” I answered. I started toward the platform door, and he followed. Inside the stairwell, the lights were dim. “Sometimes the lighting is perfect, and objects are sharp. I don’t like to miss an opportunity.”
He reached the bottom just ahead of me and he stopped. The space between us was non-existent, he was so close, and with me one step up we were nearly eye level. “Neither do I.”
The surge of electricity between us pinged off the walls of the stairwell, bringing awareness to all of my senses. The scent of Brax’s skin smelled clean, like soap, and it mixed with the faint aroma of fresh paint on the concrete walls. The warmth inside the stairwell brought a slight sheen of moisture to my arms, neck, face, and with each breath Brax released, it washed over me and cooled my skin. My heart slammed against my ribs, and we just stared. I couldn’t move, frozen to the step I stood on. I knew I wasn’t imagining it. Brax’s gaze lowered to my mouth and stayed there long enough to make my breath lodge in my throat. Suddenly the scar through my lip seemed twice as large, and I tried to hide it with my teeth.
“Don’t do that,” Brax said. His thumb brushed over my scar, and he looked at me. “Don’t hide that scar. Don’t hide who you are, Gracie. Ever.” Scah.
Brax’s broad shoulders shifted, and his body leaned toward me. My mind was clogged, confused, but all I knew was I wanted his mouth on mine. I wanted him to kiss me. Oh, God, he’s going to kiss me …
The exit door opened, and I jumped back as Noah Hicks stepped inside. Luckily, his gaze was directly on Brax instead of me, because no doubt I had guilt written all over my face. “Hey, I was just coming to check out your scope.” Brax had shifted back and stood tall, eye to eye with Noah. “But I see you’ve already packed it up. What’d you think?” he asked Brax.
Brax didn’t answer right away, and I got the feeling he did it on purpose. “Fucking amazing,” he finally said, then reached back and grabbed my hand. “We were just heading out. Thanks for letting me in, man.” He moved past Noah, towing me behind him.
