Summer Days
Page 37
She’d lost her parents when she was a toddler, and although Glen had loved her, she’d felt a gaping emptiness. She’d been afraid to love and lose again. Not consciously, but underneath. Then Melinda had taken her own life, cementing Heidi’s belief that loving meant losing in the most destructive way.
Rafe, too, had seen the consequences of love and loss. His father hadn’t just died—his passing had ripped away Rafe’s childhood. He’d grown up too quickly, and parts of him had never healed.
When his first marriage had failed, he’d had his fears confirmed. The dissolution was worse, because he didn’t feel devastated. Not realizing he’d deliberately avoided love, he took the absence of pain as proof love didn’t exist.
They probably all needed years of therapy. Maybe they could get a group rate somewhere. But until then, they had each other. Because she knew what had gone wrong. Neither of them had been willing to risk it all. Neither of them had put their hearts on the line, exposing their souls. Neither had taken the chance.
“I’m going right now,” Heidi said. “Just as soon as I find one thing I’ll need to take with me.”
* * *
HEIDI DIDN’T LIKE CITY DRIVING in the best of times, and making her way through the downtown part of San Francisco turned into a disaster. She got lost three times before finally spotting the building that housed Rafe’s office. She parked in an underground lot that had what felt like six hundred levels. She expected to have to pick her way over molten rivers from the earth’s core when she finally climbed out of her truck.
She consoled herself with the hope that she would never have to come here again—at least not by herself. If things went well, then next time Rafe would be with her. If they went badly, she was going to let Athena loose in his lobby.
Comforted by her plan, she took the elevator up a dizzying forty-something floors and was deposited in an elegant lobby with stunning views of the bay.
The receptionist glanced at the pin on her blazer. Finding a Team Rafe button had been a challenge, but May had finally located one of only a half dozen made, and Heidi had collected it before leaving town.
“I’m here to see Rafe Stryker,” Heidi told the well-dressed woman at the reception desk.
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No.”
“Mr. Stryker requires all visitors to have an appointment.”
“Why am I not surprised?” she muttered. “Please tell him Heidi Simpson would like to see him.”
A stern-looking woman in a black suit paused by the reception desk. She turned to Heidi.
“You are Ms. Simpson of Fool’s Gold?” she asked.
Heidi felt as if she’d been called before the principal for mooning the school board. “Um, yes?”
The gray-haired woman actually flashed a smile. “I’ll take care of this, Charlotte.”
“Of course, Ms. Jennings.”
“Follow me, please,” Ms. Jennings said.
Heidi fell into step behind her.
Minutes later she was walking past a big desk guarding double doors. Ms. Jennings opened the one to the right.
“He’s in a meeting, but I’m sure he won’t mind the interruption.” There was another unexpected smile. “Well done, Ms. Simpson. Well done.”
Heidi had no idea what she was talking about, but nodded, anyway, and stepped inside. Rafe sat on a sofa next to a stunning blonde. They were very close together, bent over some papers. Heidi was pretty sure she saw the blonde’s hand edging toward Rafe’s thigh.
“I don’t think so,” she snapped, heading toward the couple.
They both looked up. Rafe jumped to his feet.
“Heidi? What are you doing here?”
“I want to talk to you, but first, I need to take care of some business.” She stalked over to the blonde, put her hands on her h*ps and raised her chin. “No. You can’t have him. I don’t care what Nina told you and how compatible you think you are. The answer is no. He’s mine. He may not realize it just yet, but he will. He’s the kind of guy who accepts the fact that his mother bought an elephant. He takes care of my goats when I have the flu and…and I love him.”
The woman stared at her for several seconds. “I’m the decorator.”
Heidi blinked. “What?”
The blonde smiled. “It’s okay. I can see you two have some things you need to work out. I’ll be in touch with you later, Rafe.” She collected sketches and fabric samples, slipped them into her briefcase, then stood. “I like your button,” she said, then left.
Heidi felt heat on her cheeks. If they were closer to being on actual ground, she would wish for it to open up and swallow her whole. Or half. Half a swallowing would be a distraction.
Rafe leaned against his desk. “You know how to make an entrance.”
“I thought…” She swallowed. “You probably know what I thought.”
“I told you I was done with Nina.”
“You told me a lot of things.”
“You should listen better.”
“You should…” She sighed. “I can’t think of anything good to say.”
He moved toward her. “You were doing fine a few minutes ago.” He touched the button on her shirt. “You mean that?”
Here it was, the moment she’d been anticipating the whole drive over. She’d rehearsed speeches in her head, not able to get the words right. Which meant she was probably going to get this all wrong, but she had to try.
“I’m sorry about the cave paintings, and the artifacts.”
“I’m sorry I even thought about putting up those houses. It was a mistake. The town needs them, but not on the ranch.”
She drew in a breath. This was going better than she’d hoped. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. That I just acted. I should have trusted you.”
“I should have trusted you, too.” He stroked the side of her face, then bent down and kissed her. “We’re both pretty bad at this, huh?”
“At what?” she whispered.
“Being in love. You did say you loved me.”
“I meant it.”
His dark gaze locked with hers. “I love you, too, goat girl. That decorator you attacked? She’s helping design the vacation homes we’re building. Later, she’s going to handle the remodel of the building I bought in Fool’s Gold.”
She was still caught up in the magical phrase “I love you, too,” and couldn’t make sense of the rest of it.
“What are you doing in Fool’s Gold?”
“Moving my company. Dante swears he’s not leaving the Giants, but I think he can be convinced.”
Her mind seemed to shut off. She heard the words, but they had no meaning.
Rafe chuckled, then kissed her again. “If we’re going to be together, it’ll help if we’re in the same city, don’t you think?”
She nodded.
“You were planning to marry me, weren’t you?” he asked.
She nodded again.
She wasn’t sure if she reached for him or he reached for her. Either way she ended up in his arms, which was just where she wanted to be.
“I’m never letting go of you,” he promised. “I’ve let go of too many of the people I love. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve learned my lesson.”
She wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about, but they would have plenty of time for him to explain.
“You know, your mom and Glen are getting married.”
“Yeah. He asked my permission to propose. That was a comfortable conversation.”
She laughed, still hanging on, so safe and happy in his arms.
“She really has bought some zebras,” Heidi told him. “I saw their stalls on the plans.”
“You know anything about zebras?”
“No.”
“Then we’ll figure out that together, too.” His mouth brushed against the top of her head. “Ready to go home?”
“As long as I’m with you.”
“You’re never getting rid of me, goat girl.”
“That’s a promise I can live with.”
Rafe, too, had seen the consequences of love and loss. His father hadn’t just died—his passing had ripped away Rafe’s childhood. He’d grown up too quickly, and parts of him had never healed.
When his first marriage had failed, he’d had his fears confirmed. The dissolution was worse, because he didn’t feel devastated. Not realizing he’d deliberately avoided love, he took the absence of pain as proof love didn’t exist.
They probably all needed years of therapy. Maybe they could get a group rate somewhere. But until then, they had each other. Because she knew what had gone wrong. Neither of them had been willing to risk it all. Neither of them had put their hearts on the line, exposing their souls. Neither had taken the chance.
“I’m going right now,” Heidi said. “Just as soon as I find one thing I’ll need to take with me.”
* * *
HEIDI DIDN’T LIKE CITY DRIVING in the best of times, and making her way through the downtown part of San Francisco turned into a disaster. She got lost three times before finally spotting the building that housed Rafe’s office. She parked in an underground lot that had what felt like six hundred levels. She expected to have to pick her way over molten rivers from the earth’s core when she finally climbed out of her truck.
She consoled herself with the hope that she would never have to come here again—at least not by herself. If things went well, then next time Rafe would be with her. If they went badly, she was going to let Athena loose in his lobby.
Comforted by her plan, she took the elevator up a dizzying forty-something floors and was deposited in an elegant lobby with stunning views of the bay.
The receptionist glanced at the pin on her blazer. Finding a Team Rafe button had been a challenge, but May had finally located one of only a half dozen made, and Heidi had collected it before leaving town.
“I’m here to see Rafe Stryker,” Heidi told the well-dressed woman at the reception desk.
“Do you have an appointment?”
“No.”
“Mr. Stryker requires all visitors to have an appointment.”
“Why am I not surprised?” she muttered. “Please tell him Heidi Simpson would like to see him.”
A stern-looking woman in a black suit paused by the reception desk. She turned to Heidi.
“You are Ms. Simpson of Fool’s Gold?” she asked.
Heidi felt as if she’d been called before the principal for mooning the school board. “Um, yes?”
The gray-haired woman actually flashed a smile. “I’ll take care of this, Charlotte.”
“Of course, Ms. Jennings.”
“Follow me, please,” Ms. Jennings said.
Heidi fell into step behind her.
Minutes later she was walking past a big desk guarding double doors. Ms. Jennings opened the one to the right.
“He’s in a meeting, but I’m sure he won’t mind the interruption.” There was another unexpected smile. “Well done, Ms. Simpson. Well done.”
Heidi had no idea what she was talking about, but nodded, anyway, and stepped inside. Rafe sat on a sofa next to a stunning blonde. They were very close together, bent over some papers. Heidi was pretty sure she saw the blonde’s hand edging toward Rafe’s thigh.
“I don’t think so,” she snapped, heading toward the couple.
They both looked up. Rafe jumped to his feet.
“Heidi? What are you doing here?”
“I want to talk to you, but first, I need to take care of some business.” She stalked over to the blonde, put her hands on her h*ps and raised her chin. “No. You can’t have him. I don’t care what Nina told you and how compatible you think you are. The answer is no. He’s mine. He may not realize it just yet, but he will. He’s the kind of guy who accepts the fact that his mother bought an elephant. He takes care of my goats when I have the flu and…and I love him.”
The woman stared at her for several seconds. “I’m the decorator.”
Heidi blinked. “What?”
The blonde smiled. “It’s okay. I can see you two have some things you need to work out. I’ll be in touch with you later, Rafe.” She collected sketches and fabric samples, slipped them into her briefcase, then stood. “I like your button,” she said, then left.
Heidi felt heat on her cheeks. If they were closer to being on actual ground, she would wish for it to open up and swallow her whole. Or half. Half a swallowing would be a distraction.
Rafe leaned against his desk. “You know how to make an entrance.”
“I thought…” She swallowed. “You probably know what I thought.”
“I told you I was done with Nina.”
“You told me a lot of things.”
“You should listen better.”
“You should…” She sighed. “I can’t think of anything good to say.”
He moved toward her. “You were doing fine a few minutes ago.” He touched the button on her shirt. “You mean that?”
Here it was, the moment she’d been anticipating the whole drive over. She’d rehearsed speeches in her head, not able to get the words right. Which meant she was probably going to get this all wrong, but she had to try.
“I’m sorry about the cave paintings, and the artifacts.”
“I’m sorry I even thought about putting up those houses. It was a mistake. The town needs them, but not on the ranch.”
She drew in a breath. This was going better than she’d hoped. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you. That I just acted. I should have trusted you.”
“I should have trusted you, too.” He stroked the side of her face, then bent down and kissed her. “We’re both pretty bad at this, huh?”
“At what?” she whispered.
“Being in love. You did say you loved me.”
“I meant it.”
His dark gaze locked with hers. “I love you, too, goat girl. That decorator you attacked? She’s helping design the vacation homes we’re building. Later, she’s going to handle the remodel of the building I bought in Fool’s Gold.”
She was still caught up in the magical phrase “I love you, too,” and couldn’t make sense of the rest of it.
“What are you doing in Fool’s Gold?”
“Moving my company. Dante swears he’s not leaving the Giants, but I think he can be convinced.”
Her mind seemed to shut off. She heard the words, but they had no meaning.
Rafe chuckled, then kissed her again. “If we’re going to be together, it’ll help if we’re in the same city, don’t you think?”
She nodded.
“You were planning to marry me, weren’t you?” he asked.
She nodded again.
She wasn’t sure if she reached for him or he reached for her. Either way she ended up in his arms, which was just where she wanted to be.
“I’m never letting go of you,” he promised. “I’ve let go of too many of the people I love. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve learned my lesson.”
She wasn’t sure exactly what he was talking about, but they would have plenty of time for him to explain.
“You know, your mom and Glen are getting married.”
“Yeah. He asked my permission to propose. That was a comfortable conversation.”
She laughed, still hanging on, so safe and happy in his arms.
“She really has bought some zebras,” Heidi told him. “I saw their stalls on the plans.”
“You know anything about zebras?”
“No.”
“Then we’ll figure out that together, too.” His mouth brushed against the top of her head. “Ready to go home?”
“As long as I’m with you.”
“You’re never getting rid of me, goat girl.”
“That’s a promise I can live with.”
