Supernaturally

Chapter Thirty-Seven

What He Said
My queen claimed it was our responsibility to accept that we'd created our own prison in the Faerie Realms. The Dark Queen, however, had other ideas. After numerous mistakes, each more disastrous than the last, most of the fey felt making an Empty One, someone who could create and control gates, was impossible. We would be relegated to the Faerie Realms and this sad dirt heap forever. Some asked my queen to help, but she refused, her irrational affection for human life influencing her. I always felt that surely she could at least do better than vampires."
"Vampires?"
He waved a hand dismissively. "Vampires were one of the Dark Queen's early mistakes. She thought if she could kill the humans first and re-create them with her magic, they would become Empty Ones and take in souls. Instead they took life but no soul. Very distasteful, really."
"Wait-you guys made vampires?" It was their fault Arianna was cursed like that?
"Please don't interrupt, my love. Our magic became further and further diluted as this world tainted us, which was why we weren't watching for the Dark Queen to succeed. When my queen heard of Vivian, a true Empty One, she knew she had to make one, too, or risk the Dark Queen opening a gate and shutting the rest of us here forever. And so, unbeknownst to any others, she selected a faerie from her court"-he looked derisively over at Lin, engrossed in the race-"and assigned him to create an Empty One."
"Create?" I whispered. I didn't want to know.
"It's not easy for faeries to spend extended amounts of time in this mortal realm. Eventually it wears us down, pulls at the threads connecting us to eternity. We become thin shadows of what we are meant to be." Lin's fuzzy glamour made sense now-even his faerie features seemed strained. "But in order to do what he needed, he was forced to stay here. Finding a willing mortal woman was no challenge, of course."
"My mom?" I had a mom. A human mom.
"No one had thought to try it that way, human relationships being such silly, messy things. Still, Melinthros had been sufficiently desensitized and was able to make you."
"So I'm-I'm half faerie?" My stomach churned. I was going to be sick. Even the way Reth said it-make me.
"Of course not. It doesn't work like that. You cannot become part of eternity with such a definite starting point."
"What are you saying, then?"
"By having a mortal mother and a faerie father, you're not half faerie. You're just not quite mortal. Less than mortal, in a sense. Nothing faerie transfers over."
The cold, empty feeling I'd been running from for so long welled up, threatening to overwhelm me with everything I lacked. I wasn't special. I wasn't paranormal. I wasn't even normal. I was neither. Nothing.
"It's necessary, of course. Human souls, fragile as they are, are incredibly complex, ever-shifting. Impossible to add to or take away from. A real human would never be able to function as a conduit or draw any more energy into herself. You are unique in all the realms in that you can shift energy. As to why you can create gates I've never been clear, although my queen seems to think it revolves around some bizarre human sense of home combined with the extra energy and the souls' pull to leave this world."
He stopped, as though expecting me to say something. What could I possibly say? What could I say to anyone, ever again?
"Of course, there was the matter of Lin losing you, and you have our sincerest apologies for that. As a matter of fact, no one knew you existed at all, save the queen, and she was unaware that Lin had lost you, as she never visits the mortal realm. Imagine her surprise when I described your unique abilities and she realized that you were the Empty One and that Lin was not preparing you for us. Unfortunately I wasn't the only one to recognize you, which led the Unseelie Court to complicate things by sending Vivian after you.
"My queen gave me Melinthros's name and assigned me to determine what, exactly, had happened and how to turn you into what we needed you to be. I had always avoided becoming embroiled in court politics before. Wisely, I might add. It's been exhausting. It was my idea to give you extra soul, but that turned out to be a disaster." He brushed his fingers against my scar.
I shook my head, too much information clogging my thoughts. "I really don't belong anywhere, do I?"
"Nonsense." He stroked my wrist. "I said you were a mistake from the beginning, but you're a very endearing mistake, and with the right amount of adjustments you will fit quite nicely in my Realms. And if you serve the queen's purposes, more the better. You weren't made for this Earth, Evelyn. You do not deserve to be fragile, corruptible, dying. You should be eternal." He leaned in close, a smile equal parts tender and possessive lighting his perfect face. "Eternal with me."
I had to have a place here, a home. I had to have something. "What about my mom?"
Reth's smile dropped and he turned to the other faerie. "Have you found the girl's mother?"
Lin muttered something unintelligible.
"What did he say?"
"He doesn't know where she is."
"No," I whispered.
"I am sorry. Loving the fey isn't healthy for mortals. It becomes an addiction, and if the object of their obsession is removed, they waste away. It's discouraged in my court, unless you bring the mortal to the Realms where they can be satiated living among faeries."
I stood, grief threatening to overwhelm me. I couldn't deal with this. It was too big. Like the draw of the Dark Queen, this feeling would swallow me whole, consume me. I needed to replace it. Jack's words rang in my head-it was always better to be angry than sad.
"You." I stalked over, standing directly in front of the faerie who had created me. He didn't look up. "Melinthros, you will look at me."
His head snapped up, blurry eyes glaring at mine.
"Tell me what happened to my mother."
He spoke as though the words were being forced from him, which they were, thanks to my command. "She took care of the baby until she was no longer necessary."
"Where is she now?"
"I don't know."
"Tell me where she is!" I screamed.
"I can't."
My hands flexed at my sides. He had to tell me. I'd make him tell me.
"Evelyn." Reth's voice was as soft as his touch on my arm. "I tried myself to find her a year ago. I am sorry."
Reth's golden eyes brought me back to reality. A reality in which I was more alone than I had ever been. As bad as it was finding out I was the same thing as Vivian when she went on her killing spree, that was nothing compared to what I felt now. At least then I'd only been forced to admit I wasn't completely normal. I'd assumed that meantmore than human. Not less.
"Come with me. There is nothing for you here, my lovely Neamh."
The last word reached out to me, raced through my body like electricity. I knew that word. I was that word. He really had known my name all along. But I was no faerie, and my name had no claim on my will. No one had claim to me.
"I'm not yours," I hissed.
The door burst open. Jack stood there, breathing heavily, holding a golden goblet in one hand. "Your drink."
"Jack." I walked toward him, reeling, needing to be anywhere else. Needing to be anyone else. "Please take me home."
"You aren't safe from the Dark Queen here, and you will never be whole. Let me take you home," Reth said, his voice slicing through the chill in me. He didn't mean my apartment.
I turned to him. He knew me. He knew what I was, who I was. This was his fault-his and every other faerie's. They destroyed everything they touched. Two could play at that game, though.
"Melinthros," I said, the image of the car wreck fresh in my mind, "you will return to the Faerie Realms and you will never come back." His bloodshot eyes bugged out of his head and he clutched at a can of Coke. Shaking, he walked mechanically to the wall and created a door, disappearing out of this world forever. Good riddance. I hoped his withdrawal lasted an eternity. He deserved far, far worse. Maybe someday when I thought of a punishment bad enough, I'd find him again.
I took Jack's hand and stepped out the booth door before pausing. "If I ever see you again, Reth," I said, "I will kill you."