Sustain
Page 32
“I’ll go with you.”
My heart slammed against my chest. The day had been fine. There’d been people around us most of the day so that meant no ‘talk’ time, but hearing his voice as it dipped low, a tingle ran through me. I felt light-headed. Pressing a hand to my forehead, I felt myself nodding. My voice said, “Sure. That’d be great.” The reply sounded like it came from a distance, like someone else had answered for me. But no, it was me.
Luke’s hand touched the inside of my arm and slid down until his palm fitted into mine. He wasn’t looking at me as he did it, and the whole motion was intimate. My mouth went dry. Feeling my stomach doing somersaults, I followed behind Luke as he led the way out of Rowdy’s and across the street to my mom’s house.
When we walked into the house, everything was dark. Braden had said she had gone to bed, so Luke waited as I cracked open her door. The room was dark. She was in the bed with the blankets pulled over her. She seemed fine, and I started to step back into the hallway, but a sixth sense pulled me to her bed. I didn’t question it.
Flipping on the light, she still seemed fine… until I saw the blood seeping through her blanket.
I stopped, my hand instinctually pressing to my own stomach. Something was wrong. Then my body switched to automatic pilot, and I watched myself moving forward, reaching for the blanket, and pulling it back. There was blood between her legs. So much blood. Her pajamas were coated in it, and she was pale. I might’ve gasped, but I wasn’t sure. Then Luke was behind me. His hands wrapped around my shoulders, and he moved me behind him.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t look away from all that blood, and instead of seeing my mother’s body, I was seeing his again.
I started trembling as the memories invaded me.
Luke’s body was on the ground with blood everywhere. He was on his stomach, and his head was twisted to the side. His eye was already swollen shut, and his cheek looked broken. I stumbled into the kitchen and fell to my knees, but I was so scared to touch him. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was pounding so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything.
“Luke.” I sobbed, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth. “Luke.”
“Shit!”
Dazed, I looked up to see Braden standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide and scared. “What the fuck happened?”
The sobs were choking me, but I managed to whisper out, “I’m scared to touch him.”
“Bri.” Braden darted over Luke’s feet and around me. I heard him in the distance on the phone. “I have an emergency…”
Help was coming. Help would fix Luke. My hand went to his shoulder. There was so much blood everywhere. Where was the wound? I needed to put pressure on it to make it stop bleeding, didn’t I? Stop it somewhere? I wanted to do something. My hands fell to the bottom of my shirt, and I started to lift it off.
“What are you doing?” Braden had come back to kneel beside me.
“I don’t know. Something.” I peeled it off the rest of the way, leaving me in the tank top I’d been wearing underneath. Balling it up in my fist, I started to press down on one of the larger wounds. I wanted it to soak up some of the blood, but it wasn’t enough. Braden realized what I was doing and disappeared for a moment. He returned with a pile of towels, and both of us started to absorb the blood, being gentle as we did so nothing could get infected. When the paramedics got there, they stopped in shock. Two piles of bloodied towels were on either side of us, and we were covered in it, too.
One asked, “Are you two hurt, too?”
I shook my head and gestured to Luke, choking out in a hoarse whisper, “Him. Help him.”
Only him. Always him.
We were pushed backwards so they could work on Luke, and it seemed like ages before they loaded him into the ambulance. As they did, one said to Braden, “We have room for one person. Whoever it is, decide now.”
Braden turned to me, but I waved him ahead. I said, “You go.”
Instant confusion crossed his face. “What?”
“Go! I mean it.”
The paramedic climbed inside and reached out to close the door. He yelled out, “Decide now, buddy!”
“Go!” I yelled again.
Braden shook his head, but leaped inside the ambulance. The door slammed shut right behind him, and my body jerked from the force of the door. As they took off, I felt my heart break.
Luke’s voice brought me back to the present. With his shoulder lifted to help cradle the phone pressed to his ear, he said, “Lots of blood loss. She’s pale. Uh, her pulse seems okay, but I couldn’t find it that well.” He paused. “Yeah, she’s breathing.” He looked at me. “Bri, an ambulance is coming. Can you give them information?” He held the phone to me, but I was still seeing his body, not hers. “Bri!”
No. It was my mom. My mom’s body was in the bed, not Luke’s. It wasn’t him. I grabbed the phone, shoving the haunted memories away. “Yes.” The phone operator asked me more questions, and I answered what I could, but as I did, I was aware of Luke’s gaze. He had gone back to my mom’s side, feeling for her pulse, but his eyes weren’t missing a beat from me either. He knew something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t let him know. Shame hung over me in a dark cloud, and I turned away, clutching the phone as I focused on whatever the operator was asking me.
Help my mom. That was my main focus right now. Help her, like I hadn’t been able to help Luke.
“Bri—Bri!” Luke snapped his fingers in front of me.
“What?”
He pointed to the hallway. “Grab some towels. I’m going to go and make sure they find the right house—”
I grabbed his arm, stopping him. “No.” I couldn’t be here. “I’ll go. You stay here with her. I need to call Braden.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Luke nodded in a rushed motion. “That’s fine. Go.”
After grabbing some towels for him, I hurried outside. The street was eerily calm. It was in the middle of the night, and only the one streetlight lit up the block. I flipped on our outside lights and dialed Braden’s number, as I went to the end of our block.
A girl answered, but his voice came on a second later.
“Braden!”
“Whad?” He was slurring.
I asked, “You’re drunk?”
My heart slammed against my chest. The day had been fine. There’d been people around us most of the day so that meant no ‘talk’ time, but hearing his voice as it dipped low, a tingle ran through me. I felt light-headed. Pressing a hand to my forehead, I felt myself nodding. My voice said, “Sure. That’d be great.” The reply sounded like it came from a distance, like someone else had answered for me. But no, it was me.
Luke’s hand touched the inside of my arm and slid down until his palm fitted into mine. He wasn’t looking at me as he did it, and the whole motion was intimate. My mouth went dry. Feeling my stomach doing somersaults, I followed behind Luke as he led the way out of Rowdy’s and across the street to my mom’s house.
When we walked into the house, everything was dark. Braden had said she had gone to bed, so Luke waited as I cracked open her door. The room was dark. She was in the bed with the blankets pulled over her. She seemed fine, and I started to step back into the hallway, but a sixth sense pulled me to her bed. I didn’t question it.
Flipping on the light, she still seemed fine… until I saw the blood seeping through her blanket.
I stopped, my hand instinctually pressing to my own stomach. Something was wrong. Then my body switched to automatic pilot, and I watched myself moving forward, reaching for the blanket, and pulling it back. There was blood between her legs. So much blood. Her pajamas were coated in it, and she was pale. I might’ve gasped, but I wasn’t sure. Then Luke was behind me. His hands wrapped around my shoulders, and he moved me behind him.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t look away from all that blood, and instead of seeing my mother’s body, I was seeing his again.
I started trembling as the memories invaded me.
Luke’s body was on the ground with blood everywhere. He was on his stomach, and his head was twisted to the side. His eye was already swollen shut, and his cheek looked broken. I stumbled into the kitchen and fell to my knees, but I was so scared to touch him. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was pounding so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything.
“Luke.” I sobbed, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth. “Luke.”
“Shit!”
Dazed, I looked up to see Braden standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide and scared. “What the fuck happened?”
The sobs were choking me, but I managed to whisper out, “I’m scared to touch him.”
“Bri.” Braden darted over Luke’s feet and around me. I heard him in the distance on the phone. “I have an emergency…”
Help was coming. Help would fix Luke. My hand went to his shoulder. There was so much blood everywhere. Where was the wound? I needed to put pressure on it to make it stop bleeding, didn’t I? Stop it somewhere? I wanted to do something. My hands fell to the bottom of my shirt, and I started to lift it off.
“What are you doing?” Braden had come back to kneel beside me.
“I don’t know. Something.” I peeled it off the rest of the way, leaving me in the tank top I’d been wearing underneath. Balling it up in my fist, I started to press down on one of the larger wounds. I wanted it to soak up some of the blood, but it wasn’t enough. Braden realized what I was doing and disappeared for a moment. He returned with a pile of towels, and both of us started to absorb the blood, being gentle as we did so nothing could get infected. When the paramedics got there, they stopped in shock. Two piles of bloodied towels were on either side of us, and we were covered in it, too.
One asked, “Are you two hurt, too?”
I shook my head and gestured to Luke, choking out in a hoarse whisper, “Him. Help him.”
Only him. Always him.
We were pushed backwards so they could work on Luke, and it seemed like ages before they loaded him into the ambulance. As they did, one said to Braden, “We have room for one person. Whoever it is, decide now.”
Braden turned to me, but I waved him ahead. I said, “You go.”
Instant confusion crossed his face. “What?”
“Go! I mean it.”
The paramedic climbed inside and reached out to close the door. He yelled out, “Decide now, buddy!”
“Go!” I yelled again.
Braden shook his head, but leaped inside the ambulance. The door slammed shut right behind him, and my body jerked from the force of the door. As they took off, I felt my heart break.
Luke’s voice brought me back to the present. With his shoulder lifted to help cradle the phone pressed to his ear, he said, “Lots of blood loss. She’s pale. Uh, her pulse seems okay, but I couldn’t find it that well.” He paused. “Yeah, she’s breathing.” He looked at me. “Bri, an ambulance is coming. Can you give them information?” He held the phone to me, but I was still seeing his body, not hers. “Bri!”
No. It was my mom. My mom’s body was in the bed, not Luke’s. It wasn’t him. I grabbed the phone, shoving the haunted memories away. “Yes.” The phone operator asked me more questions, and I answered what I could, but as I did, I was aware of Luke’s gaze. He had gone back to my mom’s side, feeling for her pulse, but his eyes weren’t missing a beat from me either. He knew something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t let him know. Shame hung over me in a dark cloud, and I turned away, clutching the phone as I focused on whatever the operator was asking me.
Help my mom. That was my main focus right now. Help her, like I hadn’t been able to help Luke.
“Bri—Bri!” Luke snapped his fingers in front of me.
“What?”
He pointed to the hallway. “Grab some towels. I’m going to go and make sure they find the right house—”
I grabbed his arm, stopping him. “No.” I couldn’t be here. “I’ll go. You stay here with her. I need to call Braden.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Luke nodded in a rushed motion. “That’s fine. Go.”
After grabbing some towels for him, I hurried outside. The street was eerily calm. It was in the middle of the night, and only the one streetlight lit up the block. I flipped on our outside lights and dialed Braden’s number, as I went to the end of our block.
A girl answered, but his voice came on a second later.
“Braden!”
“Whad?” He was slurring.
I asked, “You’re drunk?”
