Sustain
Page 39
“You sell drugs. Who are you to judge?”
A harsh laugh ripped from me, hearing that coming from my cousin. “Who are you to judge?”
He whipped back to me, his hands forming fists, but Luke stood in the middle of us and held out his hands. “Stop. Just stop, you guys. She kicked your ass, literally. You’re still half-baked, and you’re going to start another round with her?”
“I can get a few good hits in.” There were other dark promises lurking in the depths of my cousin’s eyes as he continued to glare at me.
I flung my hands out. “I’ll kick your ass again.”
And I started forward, right into Luke’s hand, he pushed me back and turned to glare at Emerson. I heard the quiet venom there as he said, “If you don’t turn off your attitude to her, I will kick your ass myself. I’m fed up with it.”
“But Luke—”
“I don’t give a shit!” he roared back at him. His shoulders and arms were rigid, and his jaw was clenched tight.
He was gorgeous.
“Change your attitude, or you’re out of the band. I mean it. Gunn can fill in for you any day of the week,” he clipped out, and then snapped his fingers and pointed to the car. “Get inside and keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Emerson let out a disgruntled sound, but Elijah grabbed him and started pushing him to the backseat. “Come on. Don’t rock the boat, Em. Trust me on that.” As he continued to herd him into the car, I heard Emerson grumble, “Where the hell did she learn those moves? From you? Did you teach her that?”
Elijah laughed, getting in behind him. “I wish. That would’ve been a whole other level of fun.”
Then Luke grinned at me. “You remembered.” Pride shone from him as he ran a hand over his jaw. “I about shit a brick when I saw you throw him down.”
“Yeah, I remembered.”
Kelly grunted beside me. “I stand by what I said. You guys are just nuts.” She let out another deep breath. “But fun at the same time.”
Luke laughed, following me to the car with his hand at the small of my back. “We usually have Braden with us, too.”
She let out a deep laugh. “I can’t imagine the stories you guys have, especially with him.”
Then we parted. Luke’s hand dropped, and he went to the other side of Emerson. I went to the passenger side, and Kelly got behind the wheel again. No one spoke on the way to the hospital.
When we got there, I went to check on my mom and Braden. Elijah took off. No one asked him where he was going. Luke went with Emerson to the emergency room to see if he needed stitches; the place under his chin where I had kicked him hadn’t stopped bleeding.
It was a surreal ending to the entire night, but in some way, it was fitting. We all went our own ways.
“You never told me you broke up with Eli.”
“Huh?” I was curled up next to my mom in her bed. She wanted to watch a movie, but I hadn’t been paying attention. Thoughts of Brute, Luke, and the things Emerson had said were plaguing me. It had been a week since that night and there’d been no retaliation from Brute. I didn’t know what Elijah had done to deal with him, but I guessed that he had somehow. I focused on my mom again and saw she was waiting for me to answer her question. “Oh. Uh. That was a while ago.”
“I know.” She folded her hands underneath her head. Her blue eyes were trained solely on me. The movie, whatever she had picked, was completely forgotten. “I asked your brother why Luke was with you and not Elijah. He told me about the break up. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
She stiffened, biting down on her lip. “Oh, Brielle.” Her tiny shoulders lifted up and down as she sucked in some air. “That baby…I didn’t know about it, and before you start, the guy was a one-time deal. I was lonely. I was stupid, and I won’t be making that mistake again.”
“You were lonely?”
“Bri.” She patted my arm. “I’m almost forty-five, single, and I work too much. Being lonely is a side effect of not knowing how to pick the right guy. You, I don’t know, sometimes I think you have the same problem as me, but Luke was with you. Are you two…”
“Oh! Um.” I picked at the blanket. “I…I don’t know. No. We became friends again because of the band.”
“With joining the band again?”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I flattened my hands over the blanket, forcing myself to stop picking at it. “You know that night dad left us? When he tore the whole house up and you locked us in the bathroom.”
“I do.” Her voice softened. “I didn’t know you remembered it.”
My throat swelled up. “How could I not?” A rueful laugh slipped from me, but it ended on a soft sigh. “I was so scared that night.”
“Oh, Bri.” Her hand rested over mine and she squeezed it. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry. You and your brother.” She chuckled to herself. “I had babies when I was a baby myself. You and your brother raised each other. I’ve always felt so bad about that. I wasn’t there for you two like I should’ve been.”
“Mom, no.” I covered her hand with my free one. “You were working. And dad—”
Her free hand covered mine now. Her eyes roamed over my face. “You’re so beautiful. Your father was a mistake, but I got you and your brother from him so I can’t complain too much. He wasn’t well.”
No, no he wasn’t, but there was more. I couldn’t tell her what he made me do. I wanted to, but she would’ve blamed herself about that, too. “He wasn’t a good man, was he?”
“No. No, he wasn’t.” She pulled her hand free to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. Lingering there, she patted my cheek. “You and Braden both got his stubbornness and his love of music. He used to manage a band, did you know that?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t.”
“He did. With Luke’s dad. They were best friends.”
The next question should’ve been what happened next. A normal child would’ve had more questions about the father who abandoned her, but not me. I knew what happened next. I was a part of it, and Emerson was right. I had to tell Luke. He had to know. It was time. With the decision made, I headed for Rowdy’s later that evening. I felt like puking the whole night, but it needed to be done.
A harsh laugh ripped from me, hearing that coming from my cousin. “Who are you to judge?”
He whipped back to me, his hands forming fists, but Luke stood in the middle of us and held out his hands. “Stop. Just stop, you guys. She kicked your ass, literally. You’re still half-baked, and you’re going to start another round with her?”
“I can get a few good hits in.” There were other dark promises lurking in the depths of my cousin’s eyes as he continued to glare at me.
I flung my hands out. “I’ll kick your ass again.”
And I started forward, right into Luke’s hand, he pushed me back and turned to glare at Emerson. I heard the quiet venom there as he said, “If you don’t turn off your attitude to her, I will kick your ass myself. I’m fed up with it.”
“But Luke—”
“I don’t give a shit!” he roared back at him. His shoulders and arms were rigid, and his jaw was clenched tight.
He was gorgeous.
“Change your attitude, or you’re out of the band. I mean it. Gunn can fill in for you any day of the week,” he clipped out, and then snapped his fingers and pointed to the car. “Get inside and keep your fucking mouth shut.”
Emerson let out a disgruntled sound, but Elijah grabbed him and started pushing him to the backseat. “Come on. Don’t rock the boat, Em. Trust me on that.” As he continued to herd him into the car, I heard Emerson grumble, “Where the hell did she learn those moves? From you? Did you teach her that?”
Elijah laughed, getting in behind him. “I wish. That would’ve been a whole other level of fun.”
Then Luke grinned at me. “You remembered.” Pride shone from him as he ran a hand over his jaw. “I about shit a brick when I saw you throw him down.”
“Yeah, I remembered.”
Kelly grunted beside me. “I stand by what I said. You guys are just nuts.” She let out another deep breath. “But fun at the same time.”
Luke laughed, following me to the car with his hand at the small of my back. “We usually have Braden with us, too.”
She let out a deep laugh. “I can’t imagine the stories you guys have, especially with him.”
Then we parted. Luke’s hand dropped, and he went to the other side of Emerson. I went to the passenger side, and Kelly got behind the wheel again. No one spoke on the way to the hospital.
When we got there, I went to check on my mom and Braden. Elijah took off. No one asked him where he was going. Luke went with Emerson to the emergency room to see if he needed stitches; the place under his chin where I had kicked him hadn’t stopped bleeding.
It was a surreal ending to the entire night, but in some way, it was fitting. We all went our own ways.
“You never told me you broke up with Eli.”
“Huh?” I was curled up next to my mom in her bed. She wanted to watch a movie, but I hadn’t been paying attention. Thoughts of Brute, Luke, and the things Emerson had said were plaguing me. It had been a week since that night and there’d been no retaliation from Brute. I didn’t know what Elijah had done to deal with him, but I guessed that he had somehow. I focused on my mom again and saw she was waiting for me to answer her question. “Oh. Uh. That was a while ago.”
“I know.” She folded her hands underneath her head. Her blue eyes were trained solely on me. The movie, whatever she had picked, was completely forgotten. “I asked your brother why Luke was with you and not Elijah. He told me about the break up. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?”
She stiffened, biting down on her lip. “Oh, Brielle.” Her tiny shoulders lifted up and down as she sucked in some air. “That baby…I didn’t know about it, and before you start, the guy was a one-time deal. I was lonely. I was stupid, and I won’t be making that mistake again.”
“You were lonely?”
“Bri.” She patted my arm. “I’m almost forty-five, single, and I work too much. Being lonely is a side effect of not knowing how to pick the right guy. You, I don’t know, sometimes I think you have the same problem as me, but Luke was with you. Are you two…”
“Oh! Um.” I picked at the blanket. “I…I don’t know. No. We became friends again because of the band.”
“With joining the band again?”
I nodded. “Yeah.” I flattened my hands over the blanket, forcing myself to stop picking at it. “You know that night dad left us? When he tore the whole house up and you locked us in the bathroom.”
“I do.” Her voice softened. “I didn’t know you remembered it.”
My throat swelled up. “How could I not?” A rueful laugh slipped from me, but it ended on a soft sigh. “I was so scared that night.”
“Oh, Bri.” Her hand rested over mine and she squeezed it. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry. You and your brother.” She chuckled to herself. “I had babies when I was a baby myself. You and your brother raised each other. I’ve always felt so bad about that. I wasn’t there for you two like I should’ve been.”
“Mom, no.” I covered her hand with my free one. “You were working. And dad—”
Her free hand covered mine now. Her eyes roamed over my face. “You’re so beautiful. Your father was a mistake, but I got you and your brother from him so I can’t complain too much. He wasn’t well.”
No, no he wasn’t, but there was more. I couldn’t tell her what he made me do. I wanted to, but she would’ve blamed herself about that, too. “He wasn’t a good man, was he?”
“No. No, he wasn’t.” She pulled her hand free to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. Lingering there, she patted my cheek. “You and Braden both got his stubbornness and his love of music. He used to manage a band, did you know that?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t.”
“He did. With Luke’s dad. They were best friends.”
The next question should’ve been what happened next. A normal child would’ve had more questions about the father who abandoned her, but not me. I knew what happened next. I was a part of it, and Emerson was right. I had to tell Luke. He had to know. It was time. With the decision made, I headed for Rowdy’s later that evening. I felt like puking the whole night, but it needed to be done.
