Sustain
Page 54
I wanted what they had; I shot Bri another glare.
I protected the band. I did the dirty work, maintaining everyone kept on task. I brought us to where we were, and I had done it by being the better man, but I wasn’t in that moment. I was the jealous man. I was the petty man. I wanted a love like theirs, and I wanted it from Brielle.
She mistook my glare and lifted her chin in defiance. Taking a drink, she let me watch how she swallowed it before gracing me with a smug smirk.
The desire to grab her and haul her off into the woods was more than I could handle. I was still fighting it when it was our turn for the stage, and as we took it, I signaled for our new material. She was still with me. She was in my mind. The feel of her, the taste of her, and the need for her were suffocating me.
I sang to her. I didn’t give a shit who knew.
This song was for her. It was about her. I wanted her to know.
You promised the world with my hand in yours
We grew up beside each other
Together, never apart, and now I can’t let go
Here I am, on all fours
Baby please, baby that’s mine
Baby please
Bring me home
Bring me in to you
No matter where you go, how far you are, you’re home
Home, home, home
Don’t let me go
The emotion was in my voice. Everyone could hear it, and I even heard Braden swear softly behind me. He knew as well. I was laying it out. When I opened my eyes and found her, she was still there. She was riveted, and she made no movement to wipe the tears from her eyes as they flowed down her face. One fell into her beer. She still didn’t turn away.
I held her in my spell, the same one she wove when she played. She couldn’t look away the entire time. Even as we finished our set and headed down, she couldn’t move.
“Luke,” Candy called my name. She patted the space in front of her again.
Brielle closed her eyes. I watched her as she held her breath. Something broke in me then. She did care. A flood of love and hate washed through me.
“Luke?”
Candy was looking at me, her eyebrows scrunched together. I glanced around. Everyone else was watching me, too. I had stopped in front of Brielle’s chair. She was the only one not watching me. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and her head was pushed down into her chest. She was closing herself off from the world.
She had done that when we were kids, when she was scared and hurting. I hated seeing it then, and I hated seeing it now.
“Bri.”
She stiffened, but I ignored it. I stopped thinking about the past. I turned it off. Seeing her like this made all of that go away. I wanted her to stop hurting. Without thinking, I bent down and slid my hands around her. Lifting her, I moved so I was underneath her. I pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her.
Her body was like cement, as if she was scared to relax. I ran a hand down her hair, smoothing it out. Her entire body shuddered as she let a sob out. She swallowed it immediately and stared straight ahead. I could feel her body trembling, yet she was still so rigid.
I had made it worse.
Cursing in my head, knowing I couldn’t do anything else, I held her while neither of us said a word.
I wanted to loathe this girl, walk away, and live my life unscathed by her. I couldn’t. She was my other half, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t convince myself otherwise.
A few more bands played, and our group sat in our small circle as some people wandered over to talk. When the first ones came over, Braden glanced at me, but I shook my head. I wasn’t the leader tonight, and he nodded, stepping into that role for the evening. Braden did the talking for us. Candy tried to get my attention during the rest of the night, so did that other girl, but I ignored them and tightened my arms around Brielle.
It was awkward, but damn, I’d do it again. And again. And again. I didn’t want to let her go.
“Luke, my man,” Dustin called out when The Feast was over. Everyone was picking up their chairs and coolers, but paused and waited. He pointed at me, a wide grin on his face. “I know you have alcohol at your place, and I can get some kegs. What do you say? Should we end this night with a party to end all parties at your new place? You’re a rock god. Let’s party like rock gods!”
“Hey, yeah.” Candy perked up. “I’m game.”
Others joined in with the same sentiments.
I glanced at Braden, who shrugged. “Fine with me. We’re on vacation, right?”
I grunted. “Says you. It won’t be at your place.”
“Come on, Luke,” Candy taunted. “You can afford to hire cleaners. I don’t think you’re hurting for money.”
I didn’t want a party. I didn’t want strangers at my place. I wanted Brielle, and I wanted privacy. But…I took in all the looks. They wanted a party, and damn, I knew I was going to give in, even before I said the words, “Okay—”
Dustin let out a war whoop and smacked his girl’s ass. He pointed at me. “You won’t regret it. It’ll be awesome. A rock god party. Let’s do this!” His fist thrust in the air in triumph. “Who’s going with me to get the kegs?”
Others called out to him, and he motioned up the hill. “The cars! Let’s get this bitch going.” He took off, and his girl giggled, running after him up the hill.
Brielle had crawled off my lap, and I stood, waiting as she collected her chair and blanket. There was no going back. We would talk, even if I had to throw her over my shoulder and lock her away from everyone else.
“Bri?”
I stiffened. Callen’s lead singer was there. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, and his gaze lingered on me as he said further, “Can I get a ride home?”
What the—?
His shoulders tensed, reacting to my anger, but he added, “The others just left—”
“Hey, man.” Emerson clapped a hand on Wes’ shoulder. He jumped back, but Emerson tightened his hold on him. He added, “We’ll give you a ride home. I was just joking around before. I wouldn’t punch you.”
Bri frowned. “Emerson? What are you doing?”
He gestured to me. “I’m being a good buddy.” His hand tightened again on Wes’ shoulder. “I’m taking one for the team here. We’ll give your rocker a ride home. No sweat.”
“Uh.” Wes had gone pale. “I think I see a friend. She can give me a ride home. Never mind.”
I protected the band. I did the dirty work, maintaining everyone kept on task. I brought us to where we were, and I had done it by being the better man, but I wasn’t in that moment. I was the jealous man. I was the petty man. I wanted a love like theirs, and I wanted it from Brielle.
She mistook my glare and lifted her chin in defiance. Taking a drink, she let me watch how she swallowed it before gracing me with a smug smirk.
The desire to grab her and haul her off into the woods was more than I could handle. I was still fighting it when it was our turn for the stage, and as we took it, I signaled for our new material. She was still with me. She was in my mind. The feel of her, the taste of her, and the need for her were suffocating me.
I sang to her. I didn’t give a shit who knew.
This song was for her. It was about her. I wanted her to know.
You promised the world with my hand in yours
We grew up beside each other
Together, never apart, and now I can’t let go
Here I am, on all fours
Baby please, baby that’s mine
Baby please
Bring me home
Bring me in to you
No matter where you go, how far you are, you’re home
Home, home, home
Don’t let me go
The emotion was in my voice. Everyone could hear it, and I even heard Braden swear softly behind me. He knew as well. I was laying it out. When I opened my eyes and found her, she was still there. She was riveted, and she made no movement to wipe the tears from her eyes as they flowed down her face. One fell into her beer. She still didn’t turn away.
I held her in my spell, the same one she wove when she played. She couldn’t look away the entire time. Even as we finished our set and headed down, she couldn’t move.
“Luke,” Candy called my name. She patted the space in front of her again.
Brielle closed her eyes. I watched her as she held her breath. Something broke in me then. She did care. A flood of love and hate washed through me.
“Luke?”
Candy was looking at me, her eyebrows scrunched together. I glanced around. Everyone else was watching me, too. I had stopped in front of Brielle’s chair. She was the only one not watching me. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and her head was pushed down into her chest. She was closing herself off from the world.
She had done that when we were kids, when she was scared and hurting. I hated seeing it then, and I hated seeing it now.
“Bri.”
She stiffened, but I ignored it. I stopped thinking about the past. I turned it off. Seeing her like this made all of that go away. I wanted her to stop hurting. Without thinking, I bent down and slid my hands around her. Lifting her, I moved so I was underneath her. I pulled her onto my lap and wrapped my arms around her.
Her body was like cement, as if she was scared to relax. I ran a hand down her hair, smoothing it out. Her entire body shuddered as she let a sob out. She swallowed it immediately and stared straight ahead. I could feel her body trembling, yet she was still so rigid.
I had made it worse.
Cursing in my head, knowing I couldn’t do anything else, I held her while neither of us said a word.
I wanted to loathe this girl, walk away, and live my life unscathed by her. I couldn’t. She was my other half, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t convince myself otherwise.
A few more bands played, and our group sat in our small circle as some people wandered over to talk. When the first ones came over, Braden glanced at me, but I shook my head. I wasn’t the leader tonight, and he nodded, stepping into that role for the evening. Braden did the talking for us. Candy tried to get my attention during the rest of the night, so did that other girl, but I ignored them and tightened my arms around Brielle.
It was awkward, but damn, I’d do it again. And again. And again. I didn’t want to let her go.
“Luke, my man,” Dustin called out when The Feast was over. Everyone was picking up their chairs and coolers, but paused and waited. He pointed at me, a wide grin on his face. “I know you have alcohol at your place, and I can get some kegs. What do you say? Should we end this night with a party to end all parties at your new place? You’re a rock god. Let’s party like rock gods!”
“Hey, yeah.” Candy perked up. “I’m game.”
Others joined in with the same sentiments.
I glanced at Braden, who shrugged. “Fine with me. We’re on vacation, right?”
I grunted. “Says you. It won’t be at your place.”
“Come on, Luke,” Candy taunted. “You can afford to hire cleaners. I don’t think you’re hurting for money.”
I didn’t want a party. I didn’t want strangers at my place. I wanted Brielle, and I wanted privacy. But…I took in all the looks. They wanted a party, and damn, I knew I was going to give in, even before I said the words, “Okay—”
Dustin let out a war whoop and smacked his girl’s ass. He pointed at me. “You won’t regret it. It’ll be awesome. A rock god party. Let’s do this!” His fist thrust in the air in triumph. “Who’s going with me to get the kegs?”
Others called out to him, and he motioned up the hill. “The cars! Let’s get this bitch going.” He took off, and his girl giggled, running after him up the hill.
Brielle had crawled off my lap, and I stood, waiting as she collected her chair and blanket. There was no going back. We would talk, even if I had to throw her over my shoulder and lock her away from everyone else.
“Bri?”
I stiffened. Callen’s lead singer was there. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, and his gaze lingered on me as he said further, “Can I get a ride home?”
What the—?
His shoulders tensed, reacting to my anger, but he added, “The others just left—”
“Hey, man.” Emerson clapped a hand on Wes’ shoulder. He jumped back, but Emerson tightened his hold on him. He added, “We’ll give you a ride home. I was just joking around before. I wouldn’t punch you.”
Bri frowned. “Emerson? What are you doing?”
He gestured to me. “I’m being a good buddy.” His hand tightened again on Wes’ shoulder. “I’m taking one for the team here. We’ll give your rocker a ride home. No sweat.”
“Uh.” Wes had gone pale. “I think I see a friend. She can give me a ride home. Never mind.”
