Sweet Fall
Page 37
“And… and how did you end up playing for the Tide?”
“I was good at football and Coach recruited me.”
“That’s not what I meant—” I tried to say, and Austin cut me off.
“I know. You want to know how I was able to leave the crew.”
“Yes.”
Austin’s jaw clenched and his eyes closed, like he was reliving a memory. “It was Axe, he got me out. I remember it so clearly. I was doing well on the streets and the leader of the crew, Gio, was impressed. This was good because we got more money for Mamma, but bad because it made me useful to him. Too useful to let go. I’d just finished a deal with a group of junkies and returned back to the trailer park, when Gio called me to his trailer. “Been hearing some things about you, Carillo,” he’d said to me coldly. My stomach fell. I remember looking to the door of the trailer, praying Axel would hurry home to help me. Gio terrified me.
““Heard you been cuttin’ it up over at that high school. Some big football star. That true?” I knew he couldn’t have known about the scholarship. At that point only my family did. And I definitely didn’t count Gio as my family.
““Heard the Tide offered you a scholarship. You gonna keep shut about that too?” I knew right then that he’d been doing some digging on me. I’d become too valuable for him to let go. Gio moved around the kitchen table and got right up in my face. “You think you can just up and leave your brothers? Think you can just leave this life behind?” He began to laugh at me, laugh right in my face. “This ain’t how it works, homie. You swore in. Got the ink. Heighter for life.” I honestly thought he was going to kill me, Pix.”
“What happened next?” I asked, hanging off every word he said.
“Gio pushed on my chest, knocking me back against the trailer wall. “You listenin’, you little punk? You think you’re better than me because you can run fast?” He was so f**kin’ mad at me. I knew he’d kill me rather than let me go. But then I heard, “Gio, man, leave him the f**k alone!” Gio froze in my face and my heart started beating again. It was Axel’s voice and Gio was suddenly wrenched away from me.
“Gio threw himself at Axel’s chest, but Axel was bigger, muscled, and more importantly, he was lethal in a fight—it’s why Gio keeps Axe so close. My brother’s one mean f**ker. “You knew he got a f**kin’ football scholarship for the Tide and you didn’t say shit ’bout it?” Gio shouted at Axe. Axe looked over at me, and my eyes dropped to the floor. I wanted that scholarship bad and he knew it. My mamma wanted that scholarship bad. He knew that too. But I had no idea how I could ever take it. Gio was right. In this life—the shit life I got handed—what you wanted never mattered. Making green and having your crew brothers’ backs was the only code of honor in a place that held no f**kin’ pride.”
“Austin…” I whispered, not knowing what to say. I couldn’t believe this was his life. That he had to go through all of this to go to school. To follow his dreams.
“Axel dragged Gio outside of the trailer, leaving me inside so they could ‘talk’. It felt like a lifetime they were out there ‘talking’. Eventually, the door opened and Axel came back without Gio. He joined me on the floor. Then he spoke the words I never thought I’d hear. “You’re out, lil’ bro.” I didn’t know what to say, so just stared with my damn mouth hanging open. Axel laughed at me. “You’re out. Gio ain’t gonna cause shit for you.” I asked him how he managed it, what he’d promised Gio, but he just said, “That’s no concern of yours, kid.” A few months later I left for college.”
I lay in stunned silence at the history Austin had just revealed. Austin’s brown eyes glittered at reliving the memory and I asked, “And what did he do? What did he promise Gio?”
Austin lowered his head. “I have no f**kin’ idea. Axe won’t tell me. But I’ll find out someday. I need to know what I owe him.”
It all became crystal clear. That was why he was protecting his brother. It was why he was trying to keep the dealing in campus so hidden. He felt he owed him for getting him out of the gang.
I squeezed his hand in mine, feeling a flicker of understanding and Austin slowly sat up. “We should get going, Pix. Long drive back.”
As I stood and jumped off the end of the truck, I drank in the vision of the Supermoon and prayed to remember its beauty forever.
Hearing the engine begin roar, I opened the truck’s door and sat back in the passenger seat, suddenly noticing Austin’s hands were frozen on the wheel.
“You okay, Austin?”
“I’ve never… I’ve never told anyone all that before.”
My breathing came fast at his confession and, when he looked up, his head tilted to the side. “It feels kinda good to get that off my chest… It feels good to talk to you.”
Releasing a shaky sigh, I said. “You can tell me anything. I’ll never judge you or betray your trust. You know, people in glass houses…”
Austin’s head dipped and his hands clenched the wheel even tighter. “Yeah, Pix. I’m starting to realize that you’re golden that way.”
As we drove away from the majestic Supermoon and headed back to school, Austin’s words lapped around my mind. I’m starting to realize you’re golden that way…
“I was good at football and Coach recruited me.”
“That’s not what I meant—” I tried to say, and Austin cut me off.
“I know. You want to know how I was able to leave the crew.”
“Yes.”
Austin’s jaw clenched and his eyes closed, like he was reliving a memory. “It was Axe, he got me out. I remember it so clearly. I was doing well on the streets and the leader of the crew, Gio, was impressed. This was good because we got more money for Mamma, but bad because it made me useful to him. Too useful to let go. I’d just finished a deal with a group of junkies and returned back to the trailer park, when Gio called me to his trailer. “Been hearing some things about you, Carillo,” he’d said to me coldly. My stomach fell. I remember looking to the door of the trailer, praying Axel would hurry home to help me. Gio terrified me.
““Heard you been cuttin’ it up over at that high school. Some big football star. That true?” I knew he couldn’t have known about the scholarship. At that point only my family did. And I definitely didn’t count Gio as my family.
““Heard the Tide offered you a scholarship. You gonna keep shut about that too?” I knew right then that he’d been doing some digging on me. I’d become too valuable for him to let go. Gio moved around the kitchen table and got right up in my face. “You think you can just up and leave your brothers? Think you can just leave this life behind?” He began to laugh at me, laugh right in my face. “This ain’t how it works, homie. You swore in. Got the ink. Heighter for life.” I honestly thought he was going to kill me, Pix.”
“What happened next?” I asked, hanging off every word he said.
“Gio pushed on my chest, knocking me back against the trailer wall. “You listenin’, you little punk? You think you’re better than me because you can run fast?” He was so f**kin’ mad at me. I knew he’d kill me rather than let me go. But then I heard, “Gio, man, leave him the f**k alone!” Gio froze in my face and my heart started beating again. It was Axel’s voice and Gio was suddenly wrenched away from me.
“Gio threw himself at Axel’s chest, but Axel was bigger, muscled, and more importantly, he was lethal in a fight—it’s why Gio keeps Axe so close. My brother’s one mean f**ker. “You knew he got a f**kin’ football scholarship for the Tide and you didn’t say shit ’bout it?” Gio shouted at Axe. Axe looked over at me, and my eyes dropped to the floor. I wanted that scholarship bad and he knew it. My mamma wanted that scholarship bad. He knew that too. But I had no idea how I could ever take it. Gio was right. In this life—the shit life I got handed—what you wanted never mattered. Making green and having your crew brothers’ backs was the only code of honor in a place that held no f**kin’ pride.”
“Austin…” I whispered, not knowing what to say. I couldn’t believe this was his life. That he had to go through all of this to go to school. To follow his dreams.
“Axel dragged Gio outside of the trailer, leaving me inside so they could ‘talk’. It felt like a lifetime they were out there ‘talking’. Eventually, the door opened and Axel came back without Gio. He joined me on the floor. Then he spoke the words I never thought I’d hear. “You’re out, lil’ bro.” I didn’t know what to say, so just stared with my damn mouth hanging open. Axel laughed at me. “You’re out. Gio ain’t gonna cause shit for you.” I asked him how he managed it, what he’d promised Gio, but he just said, “That’s no concern of yours, kid.” A few months later I left for college.”
I lay in stunned silence at the history Austin had just revealed. Austin’s brown eyes glittered at reliving the memory and I asked, “And what did he do? What did he promise Gio?”
Austin lowered his head. “I have no f**kin’ idea. Axe won’t tell me. But I’ll find out someday. I need to know what I owe him.”
It all became crystal clear. That was why he was protecting his brother. It was why he was trying to keep the dealing in campus so hidden. He felt he owed him for getting him out of the gang.
I squeezed his hand in mine, feeling a flicker of understanding and Austin slowly sat up. “We should get going, Pix. Long drive back.”
As I stood and jumped off the end of the truck, I drank in the vision of the Supermoon and prayed to remember its beauty forever.
Hearing the engine begin roar, I opened the truck’s door and sat back in the passenger seat, suddenly noticing Austin’s hands were frozen on the wheel.
“You okay, Austin?”
“I’ve never… I’ve never told anyone all that before.”
My breathing came fast at his confession and, when he looked up, his head tilted to the side. “It feels kinda good to get that off my chest… It feels good to talk to you.”
Releasing a shaky sigh, I said. “You can tell me anything. I’ll never judge you or betray your trust. You know, people in glass houses…”
Austin’s head dipped and his hands clenched the wheel even tighter. “Yeah, Pix. I’m starting to realize that you’re golden that way.”
As we drove away from the majestic Supermoon and headed back to school, Austin’s words lapped around my mind. I’m starting to realize you’re golden that way…
