Sweet Little Lies
Page 21
FOR THE NEXT WEEK, STONE wasn’t home when I left for work in the morning and when I got home in the evening. Geraldine had even asked about him. Wondering why he hadn’t been by to visit. She’d asked if I had decided on his birthday gift. I hadn’t. I feared my moving out may be the gift he wanted.
She and I went to visit Heidi three times that week. I had kept busy trying not to worry about Stone’s disappearance and what my possible role was. I laid awake at night listening for him to return. Anxious as to what I would say if he did.
Seven days after my last interaction with Stone, I pulled into a parking spot in front of the apartments and found Jasper standing there. His hands were tucked in his front pockets. His head was down. His shoulders were slumped slightly as if he were defeated.
The sight of him made my chest hurt. I didn’t like seeing him like this. With him out of sight, I was able to block out my fear that he would take Heidi from me. That she was technically his sister, not mine. He could be considered the villain in my story.
Seeing him there, however, made that impossible. He was kind and good. Nothing like his parents. He’d been a victim as much as Heidi had. His parents had lied to everyone. Heidi would never know or understand their actions, but Jasper did. He had to live with that knowledge.
I turned off my car and got out. His head lifted to meet my gaze. He seemed broken. The gleam of playfulness in his eyes was gone. His easy smile that once made my heart race was no longer there. He seemed older. The easygoing guy I’d fallen in love with was gone.
I stepped onto the sidewalk and stood there. I was several feet away, waiting for him to explain why he had come. I wondered at the same time if I should have gotten out of the car. Our last confrontation hadn’t gone well and Stone wasn’t here to run interference. Was I strong enough to handle speaking to him alone?
“I’m not going to pursue finding out the truth about Heidi. You’re right. She had a mother. A family. You’re her family. You’re what she knows and loves. My need to prove the truth will just cause more pain,” his voice sounded sad. Empty.
“Thank you,” I replied with relief. The weight on my chest lifted. I’d been living with that fear since the moment this all began unraveling with Portia’s lies.
“I won’t be back. I leave for Manhattan tomorrow. My things are already set up in my place there. I’ll be running things from the main office. Away from this town, Portia, and,” he paused. Closed his eyes tightly and exhaled. “You.”
That should have stung. But it didn’t. With Jasper here, I always lived with the fear I’d have to face him one day. Or see him with another girl. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel watching him move on with his life. Which was what we both had to do. There could never be an us.
“What about your Savannah office?” I asked because I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea what response to give that wouldn’t hurt us. It was impossible to know what to say that would make this end and we could both walk away.
“It was a waste of time. I have enough to handle with my father gone. I need to focus on what was already built. Being here was . . . something I wanted once. Portia’s lies and the truth I have to face daily in this town makes it the last place I want to be.”
He could start over somewhere else. Make a new life. A life I wouldn’t have to witness by accident when I ran into him some day in town. His moving away made it easier for me to let go of the memories. To heal from the lies.
“You’ll be happy there. This will become the past and you can forget it all,” I finally said.
A sad smile barely tugged on his lips. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Thank you for everything, Jasper. For being there when I needed someone. For paying for Heidi’s care. You have been more than I could have asked for.”
A frown creased his brow. I didn’t know what I’d said that had upset him, or what was causing him to study me with a confused look.
“I didn’t pay for Heidi’s care. I was going to, but I forgot. With all this shit going on, I never got around to it. I’ll do it today. I want to do it.”
He was still talking, apologizing. I didn’t hear his words though. They were muffled by the pounding in my head. The knowledge that I knew was there. The truth. And what that meant. I shook my head trying to grasp the reasons behind this. If what I thought were indeed true.
When I realized he wasn’t talking anymore I focused on him. “You never paid it?” I asked for confirmation.
“No. But I will, I swear. I won’t leave that on you,” he replied. His expression determined yet apologetic.
“It’s paid. You don’t need to,” I said the words before I could think about it. Before I could weigh if it was the right decision to share that knowledge with him.
He tensed. His shoulders straightened. His back went rigid. The hardness in his expression wasn’t directed at me, but the way his eyes changed I knew he was fighting a mixture of emotions. Anger being the first one while a flurry of others danced vividly with every breath he took.
He stepped past me and started for his car.
“Goodbye, Jasper,” I said wishing this hadn’t been our last conversation.
He opened the door to his car and inhaled deeply before swinging his gaze back to look at me. “You’ll need me one day. When that day comes, call me.”
Then he was gone. His car door closed and he pulled away from the apartments. He left with nothing more than those dark words that I knew he meant as a warning. I stood there for a long time after he was gone. I thought about him, all that we had said, and Stone. It always led back to Stone. The answers seemed to have been there the entire time, yet I had missed it.
The payment for Heidi’s care had been made by him. I didn’t have to ask him. It made sense. The payment had come moments after I left him there on the street while I had been falling apart. He’d told me that Jasper had sent the payment. He’d even paid it in the Van Allan name. He’d wanted no credit and nothing from me in return.
Why? That couldn’t have been for Jasper’s sake. Could it? If so, wouldn’t he have just reminded Jasper? Asked Jasper to pay him back? The home Heidi lived in cost a small fortune.
“Hey!” a male voice called behind me and I turned.
Mack or Marty was standing at the entrance of the building waving me inside. “Come eat with us. Stone won’t be back for days. When he leaves for the Manhattan offices it’s always a week at least.”
Manhattan? He was out of town? When had he left? Had he been gone all this time? My emotions were so tangled, I couldn’t face anyone right now. Especially Mack and Marty. I needed to be alone.
“Thanks, but I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed early,” I told him hoping my smile looked sincere and not like the grimace that reflected the turmoil inside.
“You gotta eat,” he shot back.
“I ate with Geraldine. Today’s been a long one.”
He sighed then nodded. “Okay. Are you coming inside?”
There was no reason to stand out here waiting for no one. I walked toward him and he opened the door wider, allowing me to pass him to enter the building.
“The guy. He upset you?”
I turned to look up at Mack or Marty and saw the look in his eyes. This was Marty. The flirty gleam that was always in Mack’s eyes wasn’t ever present in Marty’s.
She and I went to visit Heidi three times that week. I had kept busy trying not to worry about Stone’s disappearance and what my possible role was. I laid awake at night listening for him to return. Anxious as to what I would say if he did.
Seven days after my last interaction with Stone, I pulled into a parking spot in front of the apartments and found Jasper standing there. His hands were tucked in his front pockets. His head was down. His shoulders were slumped slightly as if he were defeated.
The sight of him made my chest hurt. I didn’t like seeing him like this. With him out of sight, I was able to block out my fear that he would take Heidi from me. That she was technically his sister, not mine. He could be considered the villain in my story.
Seeing him there, however, made that impossible. He was kind and good. Nothing like his parents. He’d been a victim as much as Heidi had. His parents had lied to everyone. Heidi would never know or understand their actions, but Jasper did. He had to live with that knowledge.
I turned off my car and got out. His head lifted to meet my gaze. He seemed broken. The gleam of playfulness in his eyes was gone. His easy smile that once made my heart race was no longer there. He seemed older. The easygoing guy I’d fallen in love with was gone.
I stepped onto the sidewalk and stood there. I was several feet away, waiting for him to explain why he had come. I wondered at the same time if I should have gotten out of the car. Our last confrontation hadn’t gone well and Stone wasn’t here to run interference. Was I strong enough to handle speaking to him alone?
“I’m not going to pursue finding out the truth about Heidi. You’re right. She had a mother. A family. You’re her family. You’re what she knows and loves. My need to prove the truth will just cause more pain,” his voice sounded sad. Empty.
“Thank you,” I replied with relief. The weight on my chest lifted. I’d been living with that fear since the moment this all began unraveling with Portia’s lies.
“I won’t be back. I leave for Manhattan tomorrow. My things are already set up in my place there. I’ll be running things from the main office. Away from this town, Portia, and,” he paused. Closed his eyes tightly and exhaled. “You.”
That should have stung. But it didn’t. With Jasper here, I always lived with the fear I’d have to face him one day. Or see him with another girl. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel watching him move on with his life. Which was what we both had to do. There could never be an us.
“What about your Savannah office?” I asked because I didn’t know what to say. I had no idea what response to give that wouldn’t hurt us. It was impossible to know what to say that would make this end and we could both walk away.
“It was a waste of time. I have enough to handle with my father gone. I need to focus on what was already built. Being here was . . . something I wanted once. Portia’s lies and the truth I have to face daily in this town makes it the last place I want to be.”
He could start over somewhere else. Make a new life. A life I wouldn’t have to witness by accident when I ran into him some day in town. His moving away made it easier for me to let go of the memories. To heal from the lies.
“You’ll be happy there. This will become the past and you can forget it all,” I finally said.
A sad smile barely tugged on his lips. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Thank you for everything, Jasper. For being there when I needed someone. For paying for Heidi’s care. You have been more than I could have asked for.”
A frown creased his brow. I didn’t know what I’d said that had upset him, or what was causing him to study me with a confused look.
“I didn’t pay for Heidi’s care. I was going to, but I forgot. With all this shit going on, I never got around to it. I’ll do it today. I want to do it.”
He was still talking, apologizing. I didn’t hear his words though. They were muffled by the pounding in my head. The knowledge that I knew was there. The truth. And what that meant. I shook my head trying to grasp the reasons behind this. If what I thought were indeed true.
When I realized he wasn’t talking anymore I focused on him. “You never paid it?” I asked for confirmation.
“No. But I will, I swear. I won’t leave that on you,” he replied. His expression determined yet apologetic.
“It’s paid. You don’t need to,” I said the words before I could think about it. Before I could weigh if it was the right decision to share that knowledge with him.
He tensed. His shoulders straightened. His back went rigid. The hardness in his expression wasn’t directed at me, but the way his eyes changed I knew he was fighting a mixture of emotions. Anger being the first one while a flurry of others danced vividly with every breath he took.
He stepped past me and started for his car.
“Goodbye, Jasper,” I said wishing this hadn’t been our last conversation.
He opened the door to his car and inhaled deeply before swinging his gaze back to look at me. “You’ll need me one day. When that day comes, call me.”
Then he was gone. His car door closed and he pulled away from the apartments. He left with nothing more than those dark words that I knew he meant as a warning. I stood there for a long time after he was gone. I thought about him, all that we had said, and Stone. It always led back to Stone. The answers seemed to have been there the entire time, yet I had missed it.
The payment for Heidi’s care had been made by him. I didn’t have to ask him. It made sense. The payment had come moments after I left him there on the street while I had been falling apart. He’d told me that Jasper had sent the payment. He’d even paid it in the Van Allan name. He’d wanted no credit and nothing from me in return.
Why? That couldn’t have been for Jasper’s sake. Could it? If so, wouldn’t he have just reminded Jasper? Asked Jasper to pay him back? The home Heidi lived in cost a small fortune.
“Hey!” a male voice called behind me and I turned.
Mack or Marty was standing at the entrance of the building waving me inside. “Come eat with us. Stone won’t be back for days. When he leaves for the Manhattan offices it’s always a week at least.”
Manhattan? He was out of town? When had he left? Had he been gone all this time? My emotions were so tangled, I couldn’t face anyone right now. Especially Mack and Marty. I needed to be alone.
“Thanks, but I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed early,” I told him hoping my smile looked sincere and not like the grimace that reflected the turmoil inside.
“You gotta eat,” he shot back.
“I ate with Geraldine. Today’s been a long one.”
He sighed then nodded. “Okay. Are you coming inside?”
There was no reason to stand out here waiting for no one. I walked toward him and he opened the door wider, allowing me to pass him to enter the building.
“The guy. He upset you?”
I turned to look up at Mack or Marty and saw the look in his eyes. This was Marty. The flirty gleam that was always in Mack’s eyes wasn’t ever present in Marty’s.
