Sweet Little Memories
Page 35
“I was thinking of staying here. In Tallahassee. My next step was looking at apartments,” I told him.
“Follow me to return the rental car I’m in and we will figure out where to go. But seriously, Beulah, Tallahassee? There are better options. This may be Florida but they’re really country here.”
I liked that. “I’m country,” I replied.
He chuckled. “Maybe but the good ole boys here don’t make me feel real damn safe about ever leaving you. Can we try a few more cosmopolitan areas?”
I had no idea what he meant by that but I wasn’t set on Tallahassee. I shrugged. “Sure. The only stipulation is I can’t be too far away from Heidi.”
“We don’t have to go any further west. It’s time we turned north. You’re in the deep south and moving further in. Time to run while you can.”
I liked the idea of the deep south. But then what did I know?
Jasper
KEEPING MY HEAD STRAIGHT WAS going to be a challenge. When I was tracking her down it was easier to focus on doing it for Stone. Did I hate that he had her love? Yes, but since I ended our friendship with my dick move I realized I didn’t hate him. He had the woman I wanted. The only woman I had ever wanted completely. But I didn’t hate him. I missed him. When I needed advice, I’d catch myself thinking I’d call Stone. He always had an answer. I couldn’t call him and that had hurt. It was a different hurt than losing Beulah, but just as powerful.
This had been my way to fix it. I had to fix what I’d lost with the best friend I’d ever had. However, once she walked out of the fast food place carrying that bag of food and her eyes locked on me, I felt it. The pull to her. Why couldn’t I move on and let her go? She was right in the beginning. We couldn’t ever be together. Not just because we were fucking related. But because of the twisted shit my parents had done. That darkness would always be there between us.
When I glanced over at her sitting there in the passenger seat asleep, it was hard to remember all of that. In the silence of her car, all I could remember was how it felt to hold her. How her smile fixed all the bad shit. And the way it felt to make love to her. Knowing what it felt like to be inside her was the hardest thing to forget. I doubted I ever would. I feared that I would only see her when I was inside someone else. That I wouldn’t be able to truly give myself to anyone else.
I expected her to stay with Stone. I thought they’d be a forever thing. He was the kind of person you knew you could trust. He was solid. He was honest. And he loved her the way I did. Why she had run I didn’t know. He hadn’t told me and I wasn’t real convinced he knew. There had to be a pretty damn big secret. Beulah wasn’t one to run because of a misunderstanding. She’d need a reason. A real one.
She yawned and stretched which caught my attention again. I shifted my eyes to watch her briefly before looking back at the road in front of me. It wasn’t that she was beautiful. I’d been with many beautiful women. It was more that her beauty. Something deeper and pure that couldn’t be faked. It was there drawing you in. Making you want to be worthy of her.
“Where are we?” she asked with a raspy voice.
“An hour from Macon,” I replied.
“Georgia!” she asked sitting up quickly.
“Yes, I did say we were going north,” I reminded her. North of Tallahassee was Georgia.
“But I need to get out of the state. At least. It’s why I went south. Florida was close but it was still a distance from Savannah.” She sounded panicked. I wanted to know why she needed to leave Savannah. What was it that was making her do this? I knew Stone wasn’t a threat. There had to be something else.
“I was thinking Tennessee, but if that’s too far we can go east and head into South Carolina. Not far but a different state,” I told her.
She groaned. “This is using too much gas. I am on a budget. We can’t keep driving all over the Southeast. I need to make a decision and go there.”
I glanced at the gas tank. I’d filled it up an hour ago. “I’m paying for the gas while I’m with you,” I told her. “Don’t argue with me. I made the road trip longer than you intended for it to be. The gas is on me.”
She lifted the side of her mouth in a smirk but she didn’t argue. She was worried about money. Again, why would she leave a job she seemed to love and the security of Stone’s apartment? What was it that would send her running? I started to ask and stopped myself. She wasn’t going to tell me, it was pointless to pry.
“Hungry?” I asked. It was four hours since her breakfast and that hadn’t been much. I’d expected her to pull out a chicken biscuit. That was what that place was famous for. But she’d had grilled nuggets and apples. Not exactly filling.
She nodded. “Yes.”
I started looking for an exit with good food. Or at least decent food. There wasn’t going to be that many options on this stretch of interstate. Not until we got closer to a large city. “What are you in the mood for?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Anything. I’m not picky.”
I already knew that, but I hated to be the one to choose.
“Mexican?” I asked.
She didn’t say anything and I glanced at her and she was biting her bottom lip. I thought she liked Mexican but the strange nervous expression she was making made me think she’d changed her mind.
“Maybe not Mexican then. How about Italian? Pasta sound good?” I asked glancing back at her again to see her reaction.
She looked relieved and let go of the lip she was chewing on. “That sounds nice,” she replied. I didn’t ask what about Mexican set her off but it was going to bug me.
“I think there’s an Italian place up ahead. I saw the sign for it a few miles back. They’ve got good breadsticks. Haven’t been there in years though. Since my early college days.”
She didn’t say anything. I had texted Stone while I was getting gas and let him know I had found her and we were headed north from Tallahassee. I wasn’t ready to be his buddy again. I had to work through my own shit and accept this. What I was doing and why. Then I could face him and apologize. Try to save a friendship I never thought I would be without.
He had simply texted. “Thank you.” Nothing more. No questions. Honestly, his nonchalance had pissed me off. Did he not want to know how she was? If she was upset? Sad? Hurt? Anything? Fuck, he was a good man. I knew that. But when he shut you out he did it completely. Was he planning on doing that to her? Could he? And if he did would I be able to choose between the two?
“Follow me to return the rental car I’m in and we will figure out where to go. But seriously, Beulah, Tallahassee? There are better options. This may be Florida but they’re really country here.”
I liked that. “I’m country,” I replied.
He chuckled. “Maybe but the good ole boys here don’t make me feel real damn safe about ever leaving you. Can we try a few more cosmopolitan areas?”
I had no idea what he meant by that but I wasn’t set on Tallahassee. I shrugged. “Sure. The only stipulation is I can’t be too far away from Heidi.”
“We don’t have to go any further west. It’s time we turned north. You’re in the deep south and moving further in. Time to run while you can.”
I liked the idea of the deep south. But then what did I know?
Jasper
KEEPING MY HEAD STRAIGHT WAS going to be a challenge. When I was tracking her down it was easier to focus on doing it for Stone. Did I hate that he had her love? Yes, but since I ended our friendship with my dick move I realized I didn’t hate him. He had the woman I wanted. The only woman I had ever wanted completely. But I didn’t hate him. I missed him. When I needed advice, I’d catch myself thinking I’d call Stone. He always had an answer. I couldn’t call him and that had hurt. It was a different hurt than losing Beulah, but just as powerful.
This had been my way to fix it. I had to fix what I’d lost with the best friend I’d ever had. However, once she walked out of the fast food place carrying that bag of food and her eyes locked on me, I felt it. The pull to her. Why couldn’t I move on and let her go? She was right in the beginning. We couldn’t ever be together. Not just because we were fucking related. But because of the twisted shit my parents had done. That darkness would always be there between us.
When I glanced over at her sitting there in the passenger seat asleep, it was hard to remember all of that. In the silence of her car, all I could remember was how it felt to hold her. How her smile fixed all the bad shit. And the way it felt to make love to her. Knowing what it felt like to be inside her was the hardest thing to forget. I doubted I ever would. I feared that I would only see her when I was inside someone else. That I wouldn’t be able to truly give myself to anyone else.
I expected her to stay with Stone. I thought they’d be a forever thing. He was the kind of person you knew you could trust. He was solid. He was honest. And he loved her the way I did. Why she had run I didn’t know. He hadn’t told me and I wasn’t real convinced he knew. There had to be a pretty damn big secret. Beulah wasn’t one to run because of a misunderstanding. She’d need a reason. A real one.
She yawned and stretched which caught my attention again. I shifted my eyes to watch her briefly before looking back at the road in front of me. It wasn’t that she was beautiful. I’d been with many beautiful women. It was more that her beauty. Something deeper and pure that couldn’t be faked. It was there drawing you in. Making you want to be worthy of her.
“Where are we?” she asked with a raspy voice.
“An hour from Macon,” I replied.
“Georgia!” she asked sitting up quickly.
“Yes, I did say we were going north,” I reminded her. North of Tallahassee was Georgia.
“But I need to get out of the state. At least. It’s why I went south. Florida was close but it was still a distance from Savannah.” She sounded panicked. I wanted to know why she needed to leave Savannah. What was it that was making her do this? I knew Stone wasn’t a threat. There had to be something else.
“I was thinking Tennessee, but if that’s too far we can go east and head into South Carolina. Not far but a different state,” I told her.
She groaned. “This is using too much gas. I am on a budget. We can’t keep driving all over the Southeast. I need to make a decision and go there.”
I glanced at the gas tank. I’d filled it up an hour ago. “I’m paying for the gas while I’m with you,” I told her. “Don’t argue with me. I made the road trip longer than you intended for it to be. The gas is on me.”
She lifted the side of her mouth in a smirk but she didn’t argue. She was worried about money. Again, why would she leave a job she seemed to love and the security of Stone’s apartment? What was it that would send her running? I started to ask and stopped myself. She wasn’t going to tell me, it was pointless to pry.
“Hungry?” I asked. It was four hours since her breakfast and that hadn’t been much. I’d expected her to pull out a chicken biscuit. That was what that place was famous for. But she’d had grilled nuggets and apples. Not exactly filling.
She nodded. “Yes.”
I started looking for an exit with good food. Or at least decent food. There wasn’t going to be that many options on this stretch of interstate. Not until we got closer to a large city. “What are you in the mood for?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Anything. I’m not picky.”
I already knew that, but I hated to be the one to choose.
“Mexican?” I asked.
She didn’t say anything and I glanced at her and she was biting her bottom lip. I thought she liked Mexican but the strange nervous expression she was making made me think she’d changed her mind.
“Maybe not Mexican then. How about Italian? Pasta sound good?” I asked glancing back at her again to see her reaction.
She looked relieved and let go of the lip she was chewing on. “That sounds nice,” she replied. I didn’t ask what about Mexican set her off but it was going to bug me.
“I think there’s an Italian place up ahead. I saw the sign for it a few miles back. They’ve got good breadsticks. Haven’t been there in years though. Since my early college days.”
She didn’t say anything. I had texted Stone while I was getting gas and let him know I had found her and we were headed north from Tallahassee. I wasn’t ready to be his buddy again. I had to work through my own shit and accept this. What I was doing and why. Then I could face him and apologize. Try to save a friendship I never thought I would be without.
He had simply texted. “Thank you.” Nothing more. No questions. Honestly, his nonchalance had pissed me off. Did he not want to know how she was? If she was upset? Sad? Hurt? Anything? Fuck, he was a good man. I knew that. But when he shut you out he did it completely. Was he planning on doing that to her? Could he? And if he did would I be able to choose between the two?
