Sweetest Venom
Page 12
“Forever?”
“Forever wouldn’t be long enough.” I leaned down, closing the space between us, and felt her body tremble in mine. I kissed the tip of her nose, her eyes, the curve of her neck, her mouth …
I kissed her deep and never ending. I kissed her until she was completely and utterly branded by me—her flavor memorized on my tongue. When we pulled apart, Blaire smiled at me and I thought life couldn’t get better than this.
“What is it?”
“I’m not a complicated man, Blaire. I don’t need expensive things to be happy or to validate my own worth. And for a long time, I thought my life was good, you know? I had good health, a roof over my head, food on the table. Did I ever think that things could be better? Maybe, but it wasn’t something that I dwelt on. I was happy with my lot in life. But I think, deep down, I knew something was missing and I just didn’t know what it was. Until I met you.”
“Ronan …”
“No, hear me out. I know how this sounds, and maybe it is crazy, but for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m awake. My life isn’t a blur anymore. No more going through the motions for me, and it’s all because of you.” I paused and stole another kiss. “Fuck it. Run away with me. Let’s get married, for real. Today. Be mine and only mine.”
Blaire giggled. “You’re insane! We can’t do that. Besides, you know that I’m yours.”
“But are you really?”
She was silent for a moment. “What do you want, Ronan?”
To be your oxygen, Blaire, as you’ve become mine. Like you said—forever. And one day I’m going to get you to say yes.”
There were tears in her eyes as she stared at me. “Oh, really?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Yep.” I cupped her face once more and felt a runaway tear land on my thumb. “I will never give you up, you know?”
She remained silent then because she knew it was all a lie, every word, every look, and every touch. All fucking lies. And the biggest joke was that I fell in love with her—the most beautiful lie of all. Her kisses were deceit that tasted like the sweetest venom, her laugh a lure to my demise, and her body the damn devil’s playground.
But then again love is a dirty, bloody, messy game. Love doesn’t give a fuck about rules or honesty. And as much as love can make one feel alive and want to change for the better, it can also kill you and, with it, your dreams. All in the blink of an eye.
“And what happened?” I hear the woman ask, bringing me back to reality, her face and blonde hair replacing that of Blaire’s.
What usually happens when you forget your place in the world and dare to dream. “She broke my heart.”
I take the few steps separating us until I’m standing not even a foot away from her. I raise my hand and caress the side of her face with the back of my fingers. She closes her eyes and leans in toward my touch. Then I grip her chin, tilting it up as I lower my mouth. When my lips touch hers, she closes her eyes and gives in to the kiss. I don’t. I can’t. And I fucking hate myself for it because even though I’m kissing this woman, it’s Blaire who I taste.
With the kiss coming to an end, I say, “Undress now.”
She seems unsure for the first time since we met. “I’m not young and beautiful like her.”
Her words do something to me. They don’t touch a chord inside me, or move me—that’s impossible. Maybe if I had met her in another life, one where I was whole again. But they make me want to show her what I see. Her beauty. A beauty that becomes increasingly more obvious with every second that passes by.
“Forever wouldn’t be long enough.” I leaned down, closing the space between us, and felt her body tremble in mine. I kissed the tip of her nose, her eyes, the curve of her neck, her mouth …
I kissed her deep and never ending. I kissed her until she was completely and utterly branded by me—her flavor memorized on my tongue. When we pulled apart, Blaire smiled at me and I thought life couldn’t get better than this.
“What is it?”
“I’m not a complicated man, Blaire. I don’t need expensive things to be happy or to validate my own worth. And for a long time, I thought my life was good, you know? I had good health, a roof over my head, food on the table. Did I ever think that things could be better? Maybe, but it wasn’t something that I dwelt on. I was happy with my lot in life. But I think, deep down, I knew something was missing and I just didn’t know what it was. Until I met you.”
“Ronan …”
“No, hear me out. I know how this sounds, and maybe it is crazy, but for the first time in a very long time, I feel like I’m awake. My life isn’t a blur anymore. No more going through the motions for me, and it’s all because of you.” I paused and stole another kiss. “Fuck it. Run away with me. Let’s get married, for real. Today. Be mine and only mine.”
Blaire giggled. “You’re insane! We can’t do that. Besides, you know that I’m yours.”
“But are you really?”
She was silent for a moment. “What do you want, Ronan?”
To be your oxygen, Blaire, as you’ve become mine. Like you said—forever. And one day I’m going to get you to say yes.”
There were tears in her eyes as she stared at me. “Oh, really?” she asked, her voice trembling.
“Yep.” I cupped her face once more and felt a runaway tear land on my thumb. “I will never give you up, you know?”
She remained silent then because she knew it was all a lie, every word, every look, and every touch. All fucking lies. And the biggest joke was that I fell in love with her—the most beautiful lie of all. Her kisses were deceit that tasted like the sweetest venom, her laugh a lure to my demise, and her body the damn devil’s playground.
But then again love is a dirty, bloody, messy game. Love doesn’t give a fuck about rules or honesty. And as much as love can make one feel alive and want to change for the better, it can also kill you and, with it, your dreams. All in the blink of an eye.
“And what happened?” I hear the woman ask, bringing me back to reality, her face and blonde hair replacing that of Blaire’s.
What usually happens when you forget your place in the world and dare to dream. “She broke my heart.”
I take the few steps separating us until I’m standing not even a foot away from her. I raise my hand and caress the side of her face with the back of my fingers. She closes her eyes and leans in toward my touch. Then I grip her chin, tilting it up as I lower my mouth. When my lips touch hers, she closes her eyes and gives in to the kiss. I don’t. I can’t. And I fucking hate myself for it because even though I’m kissing this woman, it’s Blaire who I taste.
With the kiss coming to an end, I say, “Undress now.”
She seems unsure for the first time since we met. “I’m not young and beautiful like her.”
Her words do something to me. They don’t touch a chord inside me, or move me—that’s impossible. Maybe if I had met her in another life, one where I was whole again. But they make me want to show her what I see. Her beauty. A beauty that becomes increasingly more obvious with every second that passes by.
