Sweetest Venom
Page 82
“Don’t be scared of my touch,” he begs urgently near my ear. “Don’t take this from me. Kiss me, Blaire. Kiss me.”
I shake my head, continuing to push him away. “No, Ronan. I can’t. It hurts.”
“I know, baby. It hurts too fucking much.” He lets go of me and cups my face, making me look at him through the rain. “Let me take the pain away,” he whispers hoarsely.
“Please.” He leans over and silences me with his mouth. Defeated, I give in. To him, to the feel of his arms around me again, to his persuasive tongue, and to his eyes full of tenderness.
Kisses that clear my mind of everything but him.
He crawls deep inside my skin.
He’s the fire on my tongue.
Is it heaven or is it hell?
I think it must be both.
Because he’s here with me.
Wrapped in his arms, I open my eyes slowly and focus on his glorious face once more.
“Blaire, Blaire.” He tightens his grip. “I know I’ve fucked up. I was angry and drowning in hate and jealousy. Wanting you and not being able to have you drove me mad. I’ve done many things that I’m not proud of, but loving you is not one of them. I love you. So damn much. And there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t.” I clutch his arms as a sob escapes my mouth.
“You’re my reason to exist, Blaire. I am nothing without you. Say that you love me again,” Ronan pleads. “I need to hear you say it.”
I love you.
Just a few short syllables. Three simple words that separately mean nothing, but together mean hope, life, beauty—everything that is worth living for. Words are easily said and easily forgotten. They can make you whole, breathe life into you.
They can destroy you.
“You stupid, stupid man,” I say shakily. After so long, we’ve finally found each other. “I was afraid to love you because I knew that it would destroy me, but living without you is like dying a slow death each day that I wake up and you aren’t with me.”
“I know. I felt it, too. Every day and every second without you. But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
There’s so much that has happened between us. Maybe we’ll be able to let it go and put it behind us, maybe we won’t. But right now he’s here with me. And that’s all that matters.
“Take me somewhere, Ronan. Make it all go away.”
We ride a cab to a hotel in silence. We don’t touch each other. There’s no need. The connection between us has never been stronger. It’s electrifying. If I closed my eyes, I would know that he was sitting next to me. I would feel him everywhere he went. He could change his appearance, change his name, become someone else, and my soul would continue to recognize him. My Ronan.
He reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Are you okay?”
I lick my lips. “Yes.”
There are no nerves. No fear. No what ifs. For the first time since I can remember, it feels right. It feels like I am right where I belong—next to him.
In an unspoken agreement, we go to a hotel where there aren’t any memories of others. It’s a place where we can start anew. I laugh when he checks us in as newlyweds. Mr. and Mrs. Klein. Hidden meanings behind our stolen glances. I want you. Make me yours. You’re mine. Always. Euphoria vibrates through every pore of my body. My senses hum, coming alive whenever we touch accidentally. Oh, sweet anticipation.
We stand inside the small, dark room. Our shared and labored breaths are the only sound that you can hear. He takes a step toward me. I take a step toward him. We come together. Ronan and I undress each other slowly, taking our time, discarding the wet clothes on the floor until there’s no barrier between us. Skin against skin, his hands on my waist draw me closer to him. But it’s not close enough. It will never be.
I shake my head, continuing to push him away. “No, Ronan. I can’t. It hurts.”
“I know, baby. It hurts too fucking much.” He lets go of me and cups my face, making me look at him through the rain. “Let me take the pain away,” he whispers hoarsely.
“Please.” He leans over and silences me with his mouth. Defeated, I give in. To him, to the feel of his arms around me again, to his persuasive tongue, and to his eyes full of tenderness.
Kisses that clear my mind of everything but him.
He crawls deep inside my skin.
He’s the fire on my tongue.
Is it heaven or is it hell?
I think it must be both.
Because he’s here with me.
Wrapped in his arms, I open my eyes slowly and focus on his glorious face once more.
“Blaire, Blaire.” He tightens his grip. “I know I’ve fucked up. I was angry and drowning in hate and jealousy. Wanting you and not being able to have you drove me mad. I’ve done many things that I’m not proud of, but loving you is not one of them. I love you. So damn much. And there hasn’t been a day when I haven’t.” I clutch his arms as a sob escapes my mouth.
“You’re my reason to exist, Blaire. I am nothing without you. Say that you love me again,” Ronan pleads. “I need to hear you say it.”
I love you.
Just a few short syllables. Three simple words that separately mean nothing, but together mean hope, life, beauty—everything that is worth living for. Words are easily said and easily forgotten. They can make you whole, breathe life into you.
They can destroy you.
“You stupid, stupid man,” I say shakily. After so long, we’ve finally found each other. “I was afraid to love you because I knew that it would destroy me, but living without you is like dying a slow death each day that I wake up and you aren’t with me.”
“I know. I felt it, too. Every day and every second without you. But I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
There’s so much that has happened between us. Maybe we’ll be able to let it go and put it behind us, maybe we won’t. But right now he’s here with me. And that’s all that matters.
“Take me somewhere, Ronan. Make it all go away.”
We ride a cab to a hotel in silence. We don’t touch each other. There’s no need. The connection between us has never been stronger. It’s electrifying. If I closed my eyes, I would know that he was sitting next to me. I would feel him everywhere he went. He could change his appearance, change his name, become someone else, and my soul would continue to recognize him. My Ronan.
He reaches for my hand, intertwining our fingers. “Are you okay?”
I lick my lips. “Yes.”
There are no nerves. No fear. No what ifs. For the first time since I can remember, it feels right. It feels like I am right where I belong—next to him.
In an unspoken agreement, we go to a hotel where there aren’t any memories of others. It’s a place where we can start anew. I laugh when he checks us in as newlyweds. Mr. and Mrs. Klein. Hidden meanings behind our stolen glances. I want you. Make me yours. You’re mine. Always. Euphoria vibrates through every pore of my body. My senses hum, coming alive whenever we touch accidentally. Oh, sweet anticipation.
We stand inside the small, dark room. Our shared and labored breaths are the only sound that you can hear. He takes a step toward me. I take a step toward him. We come together. Ronan and I undress each other slowly, taking our time, discarding the wet clothes on the floor until there’s no barrier between us. Skin against skin, his hands on my waist draw me closer to him. But it’s not close enough. It will never be.
