Taking Chances
Page 130
“Seriously?”
I nodded and smiled at his taken aback expression.
He thought for a few minutes and finally blurted out, “Did you have to marry a damn saint Blaze?”
“Saint, huh? I thought he was a possessive ticking time bomb?”
“Well, it was supposed to help my argument.” He winked and laughed softly.
“Oh, Carter. What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me?”
“Uh…no.” I laughed at his playfully hurt expression, “Nice try though.” When our laughter quieted, I said in a soft voice, “He really is amazing Carter.”
“I know.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in a sad smile, “I wish it were me Blaze. I’ll always wish it was me instead of him. But I know he’s good for you and your baby.”
“Babies.”
“What? You’re pregnant again?” His face was pained through his smile for me, “Well damn. I guess I really don’t have a shot with you now.”
I knew he was joking, but I stayed serious, “You need to find someone who is good for you too. I know she’s out there somewhere.”
“But all I see is you. For the last three years, all I’ve seen was you Blaze.”
“You have to stop. You need to know that it’s never going to happen between us, and start living your life for you. And not a life where you wait for something to separate Brandon and me, because that will never happen. Get out there, date some girls, and find the one that was meant for you. I do love you Carter, but it’s never been the way you want it. So find someone that you love, and loves you the way Brandon and I love each other.”
“Maybe one day I will.” He said doubtfully.
“I hope you do.” I yawned and got off the couch, wrapping the blanket tighter around me, “Now get out of my house so I can go back to sleep with my husband or I’ll kick your ass.”
“Puh-lease. Preggos aren’t supposed to kick ass. Isn’t it bad for the baby or something?”
“Well fine, then I’ll let Brandon do it.”
“Alright, alright. I’m leaving!” He hugged me close, and kept me in his arms a little too long for comfort, “I really am glad you’re happy Blaze. Believe it or not, that’s all I really want for you.”
“I want that for you too.”
“Maybe someday.” Kissing the top of my head, he released me and grabbed the doorknob. “Will I get to see you again soon?”
“We’re having Liam’s birthday party Saturday at two.”
He smiled and chuckled, “Birthday party, alright sounds good.”
“Kate will be there.”
“Yeah?” His eyes flashed and his smile changed into something I’d seen thousands of times from Chase and Brandon, “I uh – I got her number. Would that bother you if I called her?”
“Why else do you think I’d invite you to a family party?”
His eyes unfocused for a minute, when they came back to me, he grimaced, “Blaze…”
“Don’t Carter. If you have no interest in Kate, that’s fine and don’t feel forced to come on Saturday. But you need to start moving on.”
“I do. Like her, I mean. She was great to hang out with, she’s really funny and gorgeous. But – never mind. You’re right. I’ll be here Saturday.” With one last longing glance, he half waved and opened the door, “Night Blaze.”
“Bye.” I shut the door behind him with a tired sigh and went about shutting off the lights. When I turned toward the hall, Brandon was leaning against the wall in nothing but a pair of dark boxer briefs. Dear Lord my husband is sexy.
“Once again, I have to give him credit, the guy has got serious balls for bashing me in my own house.” His smile was wide as he pulled me into his arms.
“He’s ridiculous. Sorry if we were too loud, I didn’t know who was at the door and when I saw it was him I figured I’d let you keep sleeping.”
“You didn’t wake me up, my stomach did. I haven’t eaten since you left.”
“Brandon!”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything Harper. All I could do or think about was finding you and hating myself for pushing you away.”
“I was being rash,” I whispered into his chest, “I shouldn’t have left, it was immature and hateful. I just thought if you would put yourself in a position where we could lose you, I wanted you to know what it felt like to have us gone.”
His breath caught in his throat and his arms tightened around me.
“I’m so sorry baby, but I also needed you to have time to figure out if you would rather have a life without us. Because that’s what it felt like you wanted when you made your mind up. And so, of course, I made it worse by trying to hurt you back, instead of talking it out with you.”
“Don’t apologize. Don’t leave me again, but don’t apologize.”
“I’m –”
“Nope.” He pressed his lips against my own, and spoke around our kiss, “No more sorrys.”
I grumbled but leaned up onto the balls of my feet to deepen the kiss until his stomach growled, “Okay. Food. What do you want?”
“Uh –” He raised his hands above his head to stretch and my eyes hungrily raked over his long toned body, “you if you keep looking at me like that.”
I nodded and smiled at his taken aback expression.
He thought for a few minutes and finally blurted out, “Did you have to marry a damn saint Blaze?”
“Saint, huh? I thought he was a possessive ticking time bomb?”
“Well, it was supposed to help my argument.” He winked and laughed softly.
“Oh, Carter. What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me?”
“Uh…no.” I laughed at his playfully hurt expression, “Nice try though.” When our laughter quieted, I said in a soft voice, “He really is amazing Carter.”
“I know.” The corner of his mouth tilted up in a sad smile, “I wish it were me Blaze. I’ll always wish it was me instead of him. But I know he’s good for you and your baby.”
“Babies.”
“What? You’re pregnant again?” His face was pained through his smile for me, “Well damn. I guess I really don’t have a shot with you now.”
I knew he was joking, but I stayed serious, “You need to find someone who is good for you too. I know she’s out there somewhere.”
“But all I see is you. For the last three years, all I’ve seen was you Blaze.”
“You have to stop. You need to know that it’s never going to happen between us, and start living your life for you. And not a life where you wait for something to separate Brandon and me, because that will never happen. Get out there, date some girls, and find the one that was meant for you. I do love you Carter, but it’s never been the way you want it. So find someone that you love, and loves you the way Brandon and I love each other.”
“Maybe one day I will.” He said doubtfully.
“I hope you do.” I yawned and got off the couch, wrapping the blanket tighter around me, “Now get out of my house so I can go back to sleep with my husband or I’ll kick your ass.”
“Puh-lease. Preggos aren’t supposed to kick ass. Isn’t it bad for the baby or something?”
“Well fine, then I’ll let Brandon do it.”
“Alright, alright. I’m leaving!” He hugged me close, and kept me in his arms a little too long for comfort, “I really am glad you’re happy Blaze. Believe it or not, that’s all I really want for you.”
“I want that for you too.”
“Maybe someday.” Kissing the top of my head, he released me and grabbed the doorknob. “Will I get to see you again soon?”
“We’re having Liam’s birthday party Saturday at two.”
He smiled and chuckled, “Birthday party, alright sounds good.”
“Kate will be there.”
“Yeah?” His eyes flashed and his smile changed into something I’d seen thousands of times from Chase and Brandon, “I uh – I got her number. Would that bother you if I called her?”
“Why else do you think I’d invite you to a family party?”
His eyes unfocused for a minute, when they came back to me, he grimaced, “Blaze…”
“Don’t Carter. If you have no interest in Kate, that’s fine and don’t feel forced to come on Saturday. But you need to start moving on.”
“I do. Like her, I mean. She was great to hang out with, she’s really funny and gorgeous. But – never mind. You’re right. I’ll be here Saturday.” With one last longing glance, he half waved and opened the door, “Night Blaze.”
“Bye.” I shut the door behind him with a tired sigh and went about shutting off the lights. When I turned toward the hall, Brandon was leaning against the wall in nothing but a pair of dark boxer briefs. Dear Lord my husband is sexy.
“Once again, I have to give him credit, the guy has got serious balls for bashing me in my own house.” His smile was wide as he pulled me into his arms.
“He’s ridiculous. Sorry if we were too loud, I didn’t know who was at the door and when I saw it was him I figured I’d let you keep sleeping.”
“You didn’t wake me up, my stomach did. I haven’t eaten since you left.”
“Brandon!”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything Harper. All I could do or think about was finding you and hating myself for pushing you away.”
“I was being rash,” I whispered into his chest, “I shouldn’t have left, it was immature and hateful. I just thought if you would put yourself in a position where we could lose you, I wanted you to know what it felt like to have us gone.”
His breath caught in his throat and his arms tightened around me.
“I’m so sorry baby, but I also needed you to have time to figure out if you would rather have a life without us. Because that’s what it felt like you wanted when you made your mind up. And so, of course, I made it worse by trying to hurt you back, instead of talking it out with you.”
“Don’t apologize. Don’t leave me again, but don’t apologize.”
“I’m –”
“Nope.” He pressed his lips against my own, and spoke around our kiss, “No more sorrys.”
I grumbled but leaned up onto the balls of my feet to deepen the kiss until his stomach growled, “Okay. Food. What do you want?”
“Uh –” He raised his hands above his head to stretch and my eyes hungrily raked over his long toned body, “you if you keep looking at me like that.”
