Talania: A Trip down Memory Lane
Page 33
Who cares about her damn hair? I sure as shit don’t care about her losing her hair, so I tell her. “Evelyn, I don’t care about your hair.”
She shakes her head. “I do Tristan. I care about my damn hair. I just got it back,” she yells.
This makes me angry. Hair grows back. If it doesn’t, there are always wigs that we can get for her.
“Well, I just got YOU back, and I don’t give a shit if your hair falls out or not. All I care about is you staying alive. Do you understand that?”
She closes her eyes and that shows me that she’s about to lose it.
“I don’t care what you think Tristan. You get to keep your hair. All of you get to keep your damn hair. I get to suffer with cancer for the second time in four years. I was enjoying being cancer free and not having the tumors grow back. And all though it’s not a tumor, I still get to go through hell again. I lose my hair again. I get to spend the next upcoming weeks in chemotherapy. I get to spend my time throwing up, losing weight, and looking like I have an eating disorder. I get to spend my time sick and in an immense amount of pain!”
Does she think I won’t stick around? Does she think that I am going to allow her to go through this alone? I take a step back and take in a few breaths, trying to calm myself before I explode. “If you think I’m letting you go through this alone, you’re wrong. I’m not leaving your damn side!” I ground the words out through my closed lips.
She rolls to her side and I know she’s finished talking about it right now. I need to get out of here. I feel myself ready to blow. I need to blow off some steam, but more importantly, I need to call her father.
“I’ll be back,” I whisper, laying my hand on the back of her head and turn to walk out.
The words that my infinity speaks next take me almost physically to the floor.
“See? You’re already leaving,” she whispers as she cries.
I rush over to her and lean my forehead against hers.
“I’m just leaving the room to call your father. I am not actually leaving you baby. Please understand this.”
I feel tears falling from my eyes. I don’t want to lose it in here, but it looks like I might not have a choice.
“You’re not going to want me when I look like hell and have no hair Tristan. Trust me,” she whispers, closing her eyes.
You have got to be freaking kidding me. My poor girl thinks I care about what she is going to look like.
“I don’t care if you get to be ninety pounds and bald. You could break out in polka dots and grow warts on your face. I will still love you all the same. You’re my infinity baby,” I whisper.
Evelyn chokes up in laughter. “If you say so.” She gives me her special smile that lets me know I am her infinity too.
“I do say so. So, is it okay if I go call your father now, or do you need me to stay for a bit longer?”
Her beautiful chestnut eyes open back up. “You can go call my father now,” she whispers.
Thank God! “All right baby. I love you to infinity,” I whisper as my lips graze her tear-covered eyes.
I slowly lean up and walk backwards, and as I turn around, I hear the words that mend my heart.
“I love you too, my infinity,” she whispers back.
I turn around and run back, lifting her in my arms, smashing my lips with hers. Our tears are mixing with our kisses, and our arms are holding one another tightly. The air is cracking and popping all around us. There are stars dancing in my vision with my eyes closed. She pulls back breathless.
“Wow,” she breathes.
‘Wow’ does not even begin to cover it.
“I love you my beautiful crazy-ass girl,” I get up, forcing a smile. I need to get out of here so I can break down.
She mouths it back and I take off out of the room. Mere seconds after closing the door behind me, I collapse on the wall outside her room and slide down to the floor. I gasp for breath as tears stream down my face, my heart pounding against the wall of my chest. I bang my head against the wall, not caring about the pain. That pain is nothing compared to what I am feeling in my heart or what Evelyn will be feeling while she is going through her treatments.
I drop my face to my hands and let it all out. I feel someone take my phone out of my hands. I look up to see my brother nodding at me and walking off with it. I groan and throw my head back again.
“We’re gonna be together forever, aren’t we Tristan?” Evelyn speaks softly, wrapped up in my arms. I turn her around.
“We’re infinity baby,” I answer back.
“I hope so, because you’re really good in the sack,” she teases.
I roll my eyes at my beautiful crazy-ass girl.
“What do you have to compare it too?” I tease.
She bites her lip trying to play off the thinking game.
“Uh oh, I know that look. Stop it right now.” I start tickling her bare sides.
I toss her down on the bed, flat on her back and stare into her eyes.
“To infinity,” I whisper.
Her eyes start welling up “I don’t want to go back home for school. I wish I could stay here with you. I can’t believe they’re making me leave you early.”
I run my hands over her bare stomach and close my eyes. I definitely don’t want her leaving; we don’t even know if she is pregnant or not.
I open my eyes and see the tears slowly dripping down the side of her face. I lean down, kissing them, slowly sucking them up, one by one.
She shakes her head. “I do Tristan. I care about my damn hair. I just got it back,” she yells.
This makes me angry. Hair grows back. If it doesn’t, there are always wigs that we can get for her.
“Well, I just got YOU back, and I don’t give a shit if your hair falls out or not. All I care about is you staying alive. Do you understand that?”
She closes her eyes and that shows me that she’s about to lose it.
“I don’t care what you think Tristan. You get to keep your hair. All of you get to keep your damn hair. I get to suffer with cancer for the second time in four years. I was enjoying being cancer free and not having the tumors grow back. And all though it’s not a tumor, I still get to go through hell again. I lose my hair again. I get to spend the next upcoming weeks in chemotherapy. I get to spend my time throwing up, losing weight, and looking like I have an eating disorder. I get to spend my time sick and in an immense amount of pain!”
Does she think I won’t stick around? Does she think that I am going to allow her to go through this alone? I take a step back and take in a few breaths, trying to calm myself before I explode. “If you think I’m letting you go through this alone, you’re wrong. I’m not leaving your damn side!” I ground the words out through my closed lips.
She rolls to her side and I know she’s finished talking about it right now. I need to get out of here. I feel myself ready to blow. I need to blow off some steam, but more importantly, I need to call her father.
“I’ll be back,” I whisper, laying my hand on the back of her head and turn to walk out.
The words that my infinity speaks next take me almost physically to the floor.
“See? You’re already leaving,” she whispers as she cries.
I rush over to her and lean my forehead against hers.
“I’m just leaving the room to call your father. I am not actually leaving you baby. Please understand this.”
I feel tears falling from my eyes. I don’t want to lose it in here, but it looks like I might not have a choice.
“You’re not going to want me when I look like hell and have no hair Tristan. Trust me,” she whispers, closing her eyes.
You have got to be freaking kidding me. My poor girl thinks I care about what she is going to look like.
“I don’t care if you get to be ninety pounds and bald. You could break out in polka dots and grow warts on your face. I will still love you all the same. You’re my infinity baby,” I whisper.
Evelyn chokes up in laughter. “If you say so.” She gives me her special smile that lets me know I am her infinity too.
“I do say so. So, is it okay if I go call your father now, or do you need me to stay for a bit longer?”
Her beautiful chestnut eyes open back up. “You can go call my father now,” she whispers.
Thank God! “All right baby. I love you to infinity,” I whisper as my lips graze her tear-covered eyes.
I slowly lean up and walk backwards, and as I turn around, I hear the words that mend my heart.
“I love you too, my infinity,” she whispers back.
I turn around and run back, lifting her in my arms, smashing my lips with hers. Our tears are mixing with our kisses, and our arms are holding one another tightly. The air is cracking and popping all around us. There are stars dancing in my vision with my eyes closed. She pulls back breathless.
“Wow,” she breathes.
‘Wow’ does not even begin to cover it.
“I love you my beautiful crazy-ass girl,” I get up, forcing a smile. I need to get out of here so I can break down.
She mouths it back and I take off out of the room. Mere seconds after closing the door behind me, I collapse on the wall outside her room and slide down to the floor. I gasp for breath as tears stream down my face, my heart pounding against the wall of my chest. I bang my head against the wall, not caring about the pain. That pain is nothing compared to what I am feeling in my heart or what Evelyn will be feeling while she is going through her treatments.
I drop my face to my hands and let it all out. I feel someone take my phone out of my hands. I look up to see my brother nodding at me and walking off with it. I groan and throw my head back again.
“We’re gonna be together forever, aren’t we Tristan?” Evelyn speaks softly, wrapped up in my arms. I turn her around.
“We’re infinity baby,” I answer back.
“I hope so, because you’re really good in the sack,” she teases.
I roll my eyes at my beautiful crazy-ass girl.
“What do you have to compare it too?” I tease.
She bites her lip trying to play off the thinking game.
“Uh oh, I know that look. Stop it right now.” I start tickling her bare sides.
I toss her down on the bed, flat on her back and stare into her eyes.
“To infinity,” I whisper.
Her eyes start welling up “I don’t want to go back home for school. I wish I could stay here with you. I can’t believe they’re making me leave you early.”
I run my hands over her bare stomach and close my eyes. I definitely don’t want her leaving; we don’t even know if she is pregnant or not.
I open my eyes and see the tears slowly dripping down the side of her face. I lean down, kissing them, slowly sucking them up, one by one.
