Tank
Page 40
There’s so much I want to say but I’m afraid of bungling it. I want to tell him how much he helps his mother every day. How strong he is for his brother and what an amazing friend he is, even to people who are just friends of friends like Sasha. He has this negative view of himself but he has no idea how I see him. How much he means.
“You matter, Tank Marshall. Just you. Not the stuff you do, although that’s pretty amazing. I bet if I ask your mom, your brother and your friends what kind of man you are, they’d see the same things I do. Someone with great integrity who goes out of his way to help others.”
“They’d do the same for me,” he replies.
“Because they’re your friends.” I roll over so I can look directly at him. “And they’re smart. They wouldn’t be friends with someone who wasn’t worthy. You are so worthy.”
He leans back and I pull him against me. His head rests in the crook of my arm. “I’m afraid, Emma. This thing with my mom … I’ve never been this scared of anything in my life.”
“I know. But every time you go out there and put yourself at risk, there’s a chance that you won’t make it back. Is it worth that? Think of the people you’ll be leaving behind.”
His eyes cloud and he suddenly looks far away. “My mom. My brother.”
“Me,” I whisper. “What would I do without my Tank?”
His eyes cut to mine suddenly and fix on my face with a surprising intensity. “Am I yours, Emma?”
There’s nothing I can do to hide my feelings. He has to know how twisted up I am over him. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what’s happening with us. But I know that when you need me, I want to help you. The idea of you fighting really scares me. I don’t want anything to take you away from me.”
He sits up and pushes my hair back. His thumb traces a gentle circle on my cheek. The way he looks at me, I’ll never get used to it.
It’s like I’m all he can see.
He drops his forehead against mine. “Nothing is going to take me away from you. I won’t let that happen. Leaving you is the last thing I ever want to do.”
The woman who opens the door at Max Marshall’s hotel leads me to the sitting area. I place my bag at my feet and try not to fidget. This morning with Tank was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced. He’s such a strong man. He doesn’t allow himself many moments of weakness. I’m honored and humbled that he trusts me enough to be himself with me.
Which is why I’m here. I’ve known for a while that I can’t take money from Tank’s father. Not just because of how I feel about him but because of how I feel about Claire. How I feel about Finn. In just a short time, his family has become my family. I care about them.
I won’t profit from something that hurts them.
But Max was my friend first. Even though I’m shocked and horrified by the things he’s done in the past, I still can’t help but hope that he’s changed. Telling him that I can’t help him in person is the right thing to do.
I glance at my cell phone to see what time it is. I meant to come at lunchtime but things were so busy at work today that I had to wait until I got off. If I don’t get back to his place soon, Tank will worry.
“Emma!” Max wheels himself into the room. “What brings you by on such a lovely day? You should be out enjoying the sunshine.”
“Hi, Mr. Marshall. Sorry for just dropping by. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
“Nothing important. I’m always happy to see you.”
He seems so genuinely pleasant. I watch him, looking for signs of greed or dishonesty. There's nothing to indicate that he isn't exactly what he seems: an eccentric billionaire who's pleasantly surprised by my visit. But after spending time with Tank, I have to wonder. I've gotten to know him. I've gotten to know Claire. She isn't the dramatic or overindulgent type. She wouldn't make up a sob story for attention or to gain sympathy.
The pain I've witnessed in their family is real and there's simply no denying that Maxwell Marshall is the cause of it.
“The reason I’m here is to tell you that I can’t help you. With Tank. I like him. A lot, actually. I won’t manipulate him. He’s had enough of that in his life.”
He watches me with unwavering eyes. “He told you, didn’t he? That I left them.”
“Yes, sir. It was hard for them. And I understand why he doesn’t want to open himself up to a relationship that could end up hurting him again.”
He looks sad but not surprised. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed but I understand. You’re a good person. I can see why my son cares for you.”
I think back to this morning. Waking up with Tank. Talking about everything. The thing is, it’s all so intense because a lot has happened over a short period of time. But I’m worried that this kind of intensity can’t last. It comes on fast and burns bright but it can burn out just as quickly.
“I think your son is an amazing person. But we haven’t known each other that long. And I know he doesn’t trust easily.”
He makes a sound of disagreement. “He trusts you. He doesn’t take just anyone home to meet his mother.”
I figured that was true by the way Claire and Finn responded to me. They’d seemed happy to meet me but also surprised. Suddenly it occurs to me that I never told Mr. Marshall about meeting his ex-wife. My eyes narrow. There’s only one way he could have possibly known that.
“You matter, Tank Marshall. Just you. Not the stuff you do, although that’s pretty amazing. I bet if I ask your mom, your brother and your friends what kind of man you are, they’d see the same things I do. Someone with great integrity who goes out of his way to help others.”
“They’d do the same for me,” he replies.
“Because they’re your friends.” I roll over so I can look directly at him. “And they’re smart. They wouldn’t be friends with someone who wasn’t worthy. You are so worthy.”
He leans back and I pull him against me. His head rests in the crook of my arm. “I’m afraid, Emma. This thing with my mom … I’ve never been this scared of anything in my life.”
“I know. But every time you go out there and put yourself at risk, there’s a chance that you won’t make it back. Is it worth that? Think of the people you’ll be leaving behind.”
His eyes cloud and he suddenly looks far away. “My mom. My brother.”
“Me,” I whisper. “What would I do without my Tank?”
His eyes cut to mine suddenly and fix on my face with a surprising intensity. “Am I yours, Emma?”
There’s nothing I can do to hide my feelings. He has to know how twisted up I am over him. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what’s happening with us. But I know that when you need me, I want to help you. The idea of you fighting really scares me. I don’t want anything to take you away from me.”
He sits up and pushes my hair back. His thumb traces a gentle circle on my cheek. The way he looks at me, I’ll never get used to it.
It’s like I’m all he can see.
He drops his forehead against mine. “Nothing is going to take me away from you. I won’t let that happen. Leaving you is the last thing I ever want to do.”
The woman who opens the door at Max Marshall’s hotel leads me to the sitting area. I place my bag at my feet and try not to fidget. This morning with Tank was the most intense thing I’ve ever experienced. He’s such a strong man. He doesn’t allow himself many moments of weakness. I’m honored and humbled that he trusts me enough to be himself with me.
Which is why I’m here. I’ve known for a while that I can’t take money from Tank’s father. Not just because of how I feel about him but because of how I feel about Claire. How I feel about Finn. In just a short time, his family has become my family. I care about them.
I won’t profit from something that hurts them.
But Max was my friend first. Even though I’m shocked and horrified by the things he’s done in the past, I still can’t help but hope that he’s changed. Telling him that I can’t help him in person is the right thing to do.
I glance at my cell phone to see what time it is. I meant to come at lunchtime but things were so busy at work today that I had to wait until I got off. If I don’t get back to his place soon, Tank will worry.
“Emma!” Max wheels himself into the room. “What brings you by on such a lovely day? You should be out enjoying the sunshine.”
“Hi, Mr. Marshall. Sorry for just dropping by. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
“Nothing important. I’m always happy to see you.”
He seems so genuinely pleasant. I watch him, looking for signs of greed or dishonesty. There's nothing to indicate that he isn't exactly what he seems: an eccentric billionaire who's pleasantly surprised by my visit. But after spending time with Tank, I have to wonder. I've gotten to know him. I've gotten to know Claire. She isn't the dramatic or overindulgent type. She wouldn't make up a sob story for attention or to gain sympathy.
The pain I've witnessed in their family is real and there's simply no denying that Maxwell Marshall is the cause of it.
“The reason I’m here is to tell you that I can’t help you. With Tank. I like him. A lot, actually. I won’t manipulate him. He’s had enough of that in his life.”
He watches me with unwavering eyes. “He told you, didn’t he? That I left them.”
“Yes, sir. It was hard for them. And I understand why he doesn’t want to open himself up to a relationship that could end up hurting him again.”
He looks sad but not surprised. “I can’t say I’m not disappointed but I understand. You’re a good person. I can see why my son cares for you.”
I think back to this morning. Waking up with Tank. Talking about everything. The thing is, it’s all so intense because a lot has happened over a short period of time. But I’m worried that this kind of intensity can’t last. It comes on fast and burns bright but it can burn out just as quickly.
“I think your son is an amazing person. But we haven’t known each other that long. And I know he doesn’t trust easily.”
He makes a sound of disagreement. “He trusts you. He doesn’t take just anyone home to meet his mother.”
I figured that was true by the way Claire and Finn responded to me. They’d seemed happy to meet me but also surprised. Suddenly it occurs to me that I never told Mr. Marshall about meeting his ex-wife. My eyes narrow. There’s only one way he could have possibly known that.
