That Perfect Someone
Page 37
She looked at her cousin, who was frowning up at the gray sky. It was too bad the nice weather they"d been having hadn"t lasted for her departure. But the clouds didn"t look too dark yet, and the brisk wind meant the overcast sky might clear soon.
“Don"t forget to check on my father—often,” she told Raymond as her last truck was carried up the ramp. She should follow it, or she would soon be soaked.
“Yes, yes, but at a decent hour!” Raymond said, and gave her a hug. She heard him mumble as he got back into the coach, “I still can"t believe you got me out of bed before dawn again!” Her cousin"s grumbling was so familiar she barely noticed it. But she was still a little perplexed over her father"s good mood this morning before she left the house. He"d had a much more positive view of her voyage than he"d had the day before. Just putting on a good face for her benefit?
Julia boarded the ship. It was just as well it was raining. She didn"t want to watch The Triton sailing away from England anyway. She might cry. Again. But in her cabin, she sat on the bed staring at her trunks, which took up all of the available floor space, trying not to think about why she was here. Four trunks. She"d brought too many clothes, obviously. But she"d never traveled so far from home before.
The small cabin, being fitted with a normal-size bed, had only room for a tiny table to eat at, the smallest, circular bathing tub she"d ever seen, a washstand, and a normal-sized wardrobe.
She was going to have to unpack so those trunks could be removed to give her more space. She wondered if she ought to take a nap first. She might have caught up on her sleep the day before in the coach on the long drive back to London, but she hadn"t got much rest last night with this trip on her mind—and what was going to happen at the end of it.
After she"d sent off her message yesterday to Richard, he"d sent back a note with directions to the dock where The Triton was berthed and advising her to be there before dawn. He could have said he"d pick her up, but he didn"t. That would have given her one more chance to break his resolve to leave England so quickly, before it was too late. And she didn"t find him on the ship, either, before the anchor was raised, though she"d been assured he was around somewhere.
She was at least glad that Gabrielle and Drew had agreed to sail this quickly, but she wondered if Richard had even told them about their marriage. She"d been given her own cabin, so maybe he was keeping that to himself—no, he would have had to explain her presence.
Carol had said, You’ve got a whole ocean to cross before you stand before an official to end a marriage maybe neither of you wants to end. Let Richard know how you feel. She"d made it sound so easy. But Julia didn"t think her friend had ever had to deal with someone like Richard. He had demons eating at him. Those demons had made a monster of her when they were young. They had controlled most of his life. They could burst out at any time spewing rage and bitterness. But when those demons were quiet, when he wasn"t thinking about his father, he was another man completely—the one she"d fallen in love with.
Still staring at the trunks that were in the way, she gave up on the notion of napping when there was so much on her mind and started unpacking. It didn"t take long to realize there wouldn"t be room in the wardrobe for even half of what she"d brought, so she just took out her favorite dresses. The rest would have to be stored with the trunks.
She paused when she heard a knock at the door and immediately held her breath. She hoped it was Richard if he was ready to talk to her, but hoped it wasn"t him if he was still beset by those demons—she was afraid she was going to get angry if she had to deal with them again.
But it was Gabrielle who poked her head inside, gave her a bright smile, and entered, asking,
“Where"s your maid?”
“Her husband wouldn"t let her leave England. She"s young and they haven"t been married very long. And there was no time to find another.”
Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “I know what you mean. It was time for us to go home, but Richard insisted we had to leave today or he"d find another ship. So rude of him and he wouldn"t even discuss it. But don"t worry about a maid. Mine is here and she can help you, too.”
“Thank you. I don"t need much help, mostly just with my hair. I"m terrible at putting it up just right.”
Gabrielle chuckled. “You might as well forget about fancy coiffures on the ship, unless you intend to spend the entire voyage below deck. The Triton makes good speed, which means it"s usually very windy on deck. I find it much easier to manage my hair if I just braid it.” Julia barely heard any of that, was still surprised that Richard wouldn"t even talk to his closest friends. She finally said in his defense, “Richard is angry.”
“It was apparent something was wrong, but that"s no excuse for him to be so abrupt with his friends,” Gabrielle huffed.
“He told me the same thing, to be ready to leave today or—good-bye.”
“But you"re his wife!”
“So he did tell you that?”
“That"s all he told us,” Gabrielle said, looking at Julia expectantly.
Julia didn"t really want to talk about the catastrophe at Willow Woods yet again. Tears kept sneaking up on her every time she did, and she"d had quite enough of those.
But Gabrielle didn"t take the hint from her silence and said, “You know, when I said you could be his salvation, I wasn"t thinking of—”
“It"s all right. It didn"t work anyway.”
“It didn"t?” Gabrielle said with a blank look. “But he married you!” Julia sighed. There was no help for it. She sat on the bed and patted the spot next to her so Gabrielle would join her. Then as briefly as she could, she told her new friend the same story she"d told her father, she just didn"t mention all the fun she"d had at Willow Woods when the earl wasn"t around. She was beginning to think she"d dreamed all of the fun she"d had with Richard and with Charles and Mathew.
Staring at the floor thoughtfully, Gabrielle said, “You won"t consider staying married to him?”
Hold him to a marriage that had been forced on them? Carol seemed to think that if Julia told Richard she loved him, that would change everything. It wouldn"t. How could it, when he didn"t feel the same way about her?
So she avoided all the reasons why that wouldn"t work and simply said, “My place is in England.”
“But with most of Drew"s family usually there, we"ll visit often. You"d be welcome to join us anytime. And Richard will make such a good husband!”
Julia was taken aback by Gabrielle"s certainty. “Will he? I know he can be charming, fun, caring—you should have seen him with his nephew. That was so touching, so I imagine he"d even make a good father. He"s shown me how nice he can be, but he and I live in two completely different worlds. After the exciting adventures he"s had since he left home, he wouldn"t be happy to live in England now, any more than I would be happy away from the world I"ve grown up in. Besides, if we stay together, his father wins.” Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “His father has already won, but it was only a minor victory. You and Richard haven"t really lost—yet. So don"t let that tyrant be an issue anymore, or he really will win.”
Chapter Forty-nine
WHEN JULIA WENT UP on deck once the British isles were no longer within sight, she immediately looked for Richard, but she didn"t see him anywhere. Gabrielle had given her even more to think about. Don’t let that tyrant be an issue anymore. He wasn"t an issue, not for her. But would Richard ever see it that way?
She didn"t think to look up to find him. But then she heard the laughter above her and glanced up to see Richard and Ohr. Hanging from a mast? And laughing? That was quite unexpected. His anger had dissipated that quickly, just because he was getting away from the homeland? Or maybe it was Ohr who had laughed.
Richard was helping his friend to hoist more sails to take advantage of the strong wind.
Gabby had been right in advising her to style her hair simply for the duration of the voyage.
Even queued, Richard"s long hair was flying about his shoulders, and the coiffure she"d come on board with that morning had fallen apart within minutes of her standing in that wind.
She couldn"t take her eyes off Richard. He was barefoot, probably for a better hold on the mast, but at that height it was still dangerous when the slightest slip could send him tumbling to the deck. Yet he looked fearless up there, as if it were something he"d done so many times he could do it blindfolded!
Her neck was beginning to crick as she watched him. Her hair was becoming quite a nuisance, blocking her view. Was he never going to notice her? Then he did. Their eyes locked. Such intensity in his, everything she felt in hers, but the wind blew her hair into her face again! When she shoved it back this time, she saw that Richard was climbing down to the deck.
She glanced down and waited, well aware that he might head in another direction, still unwilling to talk to her. But then his legs were within her view and he took something out of his pocket. His hands came to her shoulders. She gasped. But all he did was spin her around, gather her hair in his hands, and quickly tie it off.
“Thank you,” she said.
She was surprised, aware that he had to feel very familiar with her to do that. She turned expectantly to face him, but his expression was completely inscrutable, giving her no clue about how to proceed.
She began carefully, “I thought I heard you laughing with your friend. Are you feeling better now that you"ve succeeded in making a quick escape?”
“Not—yet.”
A tightness rose in her throat with that reply. There was no help for it. She couldn"t stand seeing him like this, with those demons still riding him so hard. And she could remove them.
She began again, “There"s something you should know, Richard. Your father didn"t really win. He"ll never get more than my dowry.”
“He still won,” Richard said bitterly. “His damn contract has been fulfilled. And he obviously believes that will lead to greater things.”
“But he"s mistaken. Milton doesn"t know my father. He never forgets a wrong.”
“I know that now,” Richard said with a slight smile. “Gerald assured me of that last night when I went to see him.”
She tried to mask her surprise. “You came by last night?” And he didn"t ask to see her? And why didn"t her father mention that?!
“Yes, I couldn"t leave without promising him that he wouldn"t need to worry about you while you were gone.”
“That was very thoughtful of you,” she said, emotion welling up in her. “And it worked. He was in much better spirits this morning.”
“Well, it"s nothing to cry over!” he teased.
She swiped at her eyes. “You"re too nice. Why couldn"t you be like this when we were children?”
“You know why, but you"re right. At some point, I should have told you why I was against the marriage back then. There was no reason we had to become enemies simply because I was outraged at being used to fill my father"s coffers—and given no choice in the matter.” Then his hand touched her cheek. “We don"t need to discuss this again, Jewels. I"m never going to feel better about that whole episode, so let"s put it behind us for now. I want you to enjoy this voyage as much as possible.”
She couldn"t believe he was saying that, and so tenderly. But he suddenly glanced behind her, back toward England, then abruptly grabbed her hand.
“Let me get you safely back in your cabin before that storm reaches us,” he said, pulling her along behind him.
“What storm?”
“The one that followed us from the Channel. Drew had hoped to outrun it, which is why we were putting on more sails, but it"s nearly here.”
He entered the cabin with her and glanced around it. “The large furnishings are nailed down, but douse the lamp. That isn"t safe. And to avoid injury in a fall, I"d suggest you simply stay in bed until you get the all-clear signal.”
She thought he was being overly dramatic in his warnings, until the ship pitched under her feet. But she didn"t miss that he"d made sure she was safe before he rushed back to the upper deck to help secure the ship. His concern for her, coupled with that amazing conversation they"d just had in which he didn"t seem to be angry anymore—did that mean he cared about her? She smiled to herself and barely noticed the pitching of the ship.
Chapter Fifty
TONIGHT THERE WAS TO be a celebration dinner because the ship hadn"t sustained as much damage as they"d feared. When Gabrielle came by to escort Julia to the captain"s cabin she mentioned one of the small masts had cracked, but they wouldn"t know until morning if they would need to return to England for the repairs, or if the ship"s carpenter could fix it. She also mentioned other storms that she"d been in, none of which had been as bouncy as this one, although they"d all posed a degree of danger.
Julia actually hoped they wouldn"t have to return to England now. She was afraid that would bring back Richard"s demons, and she much preferred his improved mood and wanted more time to fully explore what it meant. She wasn"t going to speculate anymore, but she was going to tell Richard how she felt before they made port. She had to at least do that. If there was any way for them to resolve the differences between their lifestyles so they could actually remain married, she owed it to herself and to him to find out.
Her spirits lifted, she was even laughing with her new friend as they entered Drew"s cabin.
“Don"t forget to check on my father—often,” she told Raymond as her last truck was carried up the ramp. She should follow it, or she would soon be soaked.
“Yes, yes, but at a decent hour!” Raymond said, and gave her a hug. She heard him mumble as he got back into the coach, “I still can"t believe you got me out of bed before dawn again!” Her cousin"s grumbling was so familiar she barely noticed it. But she was still a little perplexed over her father"s good mood this morning before she left the house. He"d had a much more positive view of her voyage than he"d had the day before. Just putting on a good face for her benefit?
Julia boarded the ship. It was just as well it was raining. She didn"t want to watch The Triton sailing away from England anyway. She might cry. Again. But in her cabin, she sat on the bed staring at her trunks, which took up all of the available floor space, trying not to think about why she was here. Four trunks. She"d brought too many clothes, obviously. But she"d never traveled so far from home before.
The small cabin, being fitted with a normal-size bed, had only room for a tiny table to eat at, the smallest, circular bathing tub she"d ever seen, a washstand, and a normal-sized wardrobe.
She was going to have to unpack so those trunks could be removed to give her more space. She wondered if she ought to take a nap first. She might have caught up on her sleep the day before in the coach on the long drive back to London, but she hadn"t got much rest last night with this trip on her mind—and what was going to happen at the end of it.
After she"d sent off her message yesterday to Richard, he"d sent back a note with directions to the dock where The Triton was berthed and advising her to be there before dawn. He could have said he"d pick her up, but he didn"t. That would have given her one more chance to break his resolve to leave England so quickly, before it was too late. And she didn"t find him on the ship, either, before the anchor was raised, though she"d been assured he was around somewhere.
She was at least glad that Gabrielle and Drew had agreed to sail this quickly, but she wondered if Richard had even told them about their marriage. She"d been given her own cabin, so maybe he was keeping that to himself—no, he would have had to explain her presence.
Carol had said, You’ve got a whole ocean to cross before you stand before an official to end a marriage maybe neither of you wants to end. Let Richard know how you feel. She"d made it sound so easy. But Julia didn"t think her friend had ever had to deal with someone like Richard. He had demons eating at him. Those demons had made a monster of her when they were young. They had controlled most of his life. They could burst out at any time spewing rage and bitterness. But when those demons were quiet, when he wasn"t thinking about his father, he was another man completely—the one she"d fallen in love with.
Still staring at the trunks that were in the way, she gave up on the notion of napping when there was so much on her mind and started unpacking. It didn"t take long to realize there wouldn"t be room in the wardrobe for even half of what she"d brought, so she just took out her favorite dresses. The rest would have to be stored with the trunks.
She paused when she heard a knock at the door and immediately held her breath. She hoped it was Richard if he was ready to talk to her, but hoped it wasn"t him if he was still beset by those demons—she was afraid she was going to get angry if she had to deal with them again.
But it was Gabrielle who poked her head inside, gave her a bright smile, and entered, asking,
“Where"s your maid?”
“Her husband wouldn"t let her leave England. She"s young and they haven"t been married very long. And there was no time to find another.”
Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “I know what you mean. It was time for us to go home, but Richard insisted we had to leave today or he"d find another ship. So rude of him and he wouldn"t even discuss it. But don"t worry about a maid. Mine is here and she can help you, too.”
“Thank you. I don"t need much help, mostly just with my hair. I"m terrible at putting it up just right.”
Gabrielle chuckled. “You might as well forget about fancy coiffures on the ship, unless you intend to spend the entire voyage below deck. The Triton makes good speed, which means it"s usually very windy on deck. I find it much easier to manage my hair if I just braid it.” Julia barely heard any of that, was still surprised that Richard wouldn"t even talk to his closest friends. She finally said in his defense, “Richard is angry.”
“It was apparent something was wrong, but that"s no excuse for him to be so abrupt with his friends,” Gabrielle huffed.
“He told me the same thing, to be ready to leave today or—good-bye.”
“But you"re his wife!”
“So he did tell you that?”
“That"s all he told us,” Gabrielle said, looking at Julia expectantly.
Julia didn"t really want to talk about the catastrophe at Willow Woods yet again. Tears kept sneaking up on her every time she did, and she"d had quite enough of those.
But Gabrielle didn"t take the hint from her silence and said, “You know, when I said you could be his salvation, I wasn"t thinking of—”
“It"s all right. It didn"t work anyway.”
“It didn"t?” Gabrielle said with a blank look. “But he married you!” Julia sighed. There was no help for it. She sat on the bed and patted the spot next to her so Gabrielle would join her. Then as briefly as she could, she told her new friend the same story she"d told her father, she just didn"t mention all the fun she"d had at Willow Woods when the earl wasn"t around. She was beginning to think she"d dreamed all of the fun she"d had with Richard and with Charles and Mathew.
Staring at the floor thoughtfully, Gabrielle said, “You won"t consider staying married to him?”
Hold him to a marriage that had been forced on them? Carol seemed to think that if Julia told Richard she loved him, that would change everything. It wouldn"t. How could it, when he didn"t feel the same way about her?
So she avoided all the reasons why that wouldn"t work and simply said, “My place is in England.”
“But with most of Drew"s family usually there, we"ll visit often. You"d be welcome to join us anytime. And Richard will make such a good husband!”
Julia was taken aback by Gabrielle"s certainty. “Will he? I know he can be charming, fun, caring—you should have seen him with his nephew. That was so touching, so I imagine he"d even make a good father. He"s shown me how nice he can be, but he and I live in two completely different worlds. After the exciting adventures he"s had since he left home, he wouldn"t be happy to live in England now, any more than I would be happy away from the world I"ve grown up in. Besides, if we stay together, his father wins.” Gabrielle rolled her eyes. “His father has already won, but it was only a minor victory. You and Richard haven"t really lost—yet. So don"t let that tyrant be an issue anymore, or he really will win.”
Chapter Forty-nine
WHEN JULIA WENT UP on deck once the British isles were no longer within sight, she immediately looked for Richard, but she didn"t see him anywhere. Gabrielle had given her even more to think about. Don’t let that tyrant be an issue anymore. He wasn"t an issue, not for her. But would Richard ever see it that way?
She didn"t think to look up to find him. But then she heard the laughter above her and glanced up to see Richard and Ohr. Hanging from a mast? And laughing? That was quite unexpected. His anger had dissipated that quickly, just because he was getting away from the homeland? Or maybe it was Ohr who had laughed.
Richard was helping his friend to hoist more sails to take advantage of the strong wind.
Gabby had been right in advising her to style her hair simply for the duration of the voyage.
Even queued, Richard"s long hair was flying about his shoulders, and the coiffure she"d come on board with that morning had fallen apart within minutes of her standing in that wind.
She couldn"t take her eyes off Richard. He was barefoot, probably for a better hold on the mast, but at that height it was still dangerous when the slightest slip could send him tumbling to the deck. Yet he looked fearless up there, as if it were something he"d done so many times he could do it blindfolded!
Her neck was beginning to crick as she watched him. Her hair was becoming quite a nuisance, blocking her view. Was he never going to notice her? Then he did. Their eyes locked. Such intensity in his, everything she felt in hers, but the wind blew her hair into her face again! When she shoved it back this time, she saw that Richard was climbing down to the deck.
She glanced down and waited, well aware that he might head in another direction, still unwilling to talk to her. But then his legs were within her view and he took something out of his pocket. His hands came to her shoulders. She gasped. But all he did was spin her around, gather her hair in his hands, and quickly tie it off.
“Thank you,” she said.
She was surprised, aware that he had to feel very familiar with her to do that. She turned expectantly to face him, but his expression was completely inscrutable, giving her no clue about how to proceed.
She began carefully, “I thought I heard you laughing with your friend. Are you feeling better now that you"ve succeeded in making a quick escape?”
“Not—yet.”
A tightness rose in her throat with that reply. There was no help for it. She couldn"t stand seeing him like this, with those demons still riding him so hard. And she could remove them.
She began again, “There"s something you should know, Richard. Your father didn"t really win. He"ll never get more than my dowry.”
“He still won,” Richard said bitterly. “His damn contract has been fulfilled. And he obviously believes that will lead to greater things.”
“But he"s mistaken. Milton doesn"t know my father. He never forgets a wrong.”
“I know that now,” Richard said with a slight smile. “Gerald assured me of that last night when I went to see him.”
She tried to mask her surprise. “You came by last night?” And he didn"t ask to see her? And why didn"t her father mention that?!
“Yes, I couldn"t leave without promising him that he wouldn"t need to worry about you while you were gone.”
“That was very thoughtful of you,” she said, emotion welling up in her. “And it worked. He was in much better spirits this morning.”
“Well, it"s nothing to cry over!” he teased.
She swiped at her eyes. “You"re too nice. Why couldn"t you be like this when we were children?”
“You know why, but you"re right. At some point, I should have told you why I was against the marriage back then. There was no reason we had to become enemies simply because I was outraged at being used to fill my father"s coffers—and given no choice in the matter.” Then his hand touched her cheek. “We don"t need to discuss this again, Jewels. I"m never going to feel better about that whole episode, so let"s put it behind us for now. I want you to enjoy this voyage as much as possible.”
She couldn"t believe he was saying that, and so tenderly. But he suddenly glanced behind her, back toward England, then abruptly grabbed her hand.
“Let me get you safely back in your cabin before that storm reaches us,” he said, pulling her along behind him.
“What storm?”
“The one that followed us from the Channel. Drew had hoped to outrun it, which is why we were putting on more sails, but it"s nearly here.”
He entered the cabin with her and glanced around it. “The large furnishings are nailed down, but douse the lamp. That isn"t safe. And to avoid injury in a fall, I"d suggest you simply stay in bed until you get the all-clear signal.”
She thought he was being overly dramatic in his warnings, until the ship pitched under her feet. But she didn"t miss that he"d made sure she was safe before he rushed back to the upper deck to help secure the ship. His concern for her, coupled with that amazing conversation they"d just had in which he didn"t seem to be angry anymore—did that mean he cared about her? She smiled to herself and barely noticed the pitching of the ship.
Chapter Fifty
TONIGHT THERE WAS TO be a celebration dinner because the ship hadn"t sustained as much damage as they"d feared. When Gabrielle came by to escort Julia to the captain"s cabin she mentioned one of the small masts had cracked, but they wouldn"t know until morning if they would need to return to England for the repairs, or if the ship"s carpenter could fix it. She also mentioned other storms that she"d been in, none of which had been as bouncy as this one, although they"d all posed a degree of danger.
Julia actually hoped they wouldn"t have to return to England now. She was afraid that would bring back Richard"s demons, and she much preferred his improved mood and wanted more time to fully explore what it meant. She wasn"t going to speculate anymore, but she was going to tell Richard how she felt before they made port. She had to at least do that. If there was any way for them to resolve the differences between their lifestyles so they could actually remain married, she owed it to herself and to him to find out.
Her spirits lifted, she was even laughing with her new friend as they entered Drew"s cabin.
