The Acceptance
Page 51
Because he was fully aware that it was her house and she knew it like the back of her hand, there was no keeping up with her when she fled from him and ran up the stairs.
The door slammed and the lock clicked when he reached it.
“This is ridiculous. Why won’t you tell me what he said?”
“I-want-to-be-alone,” she screamed in almost a demonic voice.
Tyler stepped away from the door and went back to the kitchen where the other letter lay. He picked it up and finished from where he’d left off.
He began where the writer said; The military was never his choosing.
If I could call him a daredevil in combat, I would. He didn’t show fear when standing down insurgents. But he did show great remorse if he took a life.
I highly believe that that and the lack of military desire, led to the following events.
We had promised to take turns sleeping. We were aware that we had been away from our squad for nearly going on two days. There was some chance we’d not be found. Though Fitz was sure they were near and would still come for us. During one of my sleeps I was awaken by gunfire. When I rose I found our Afghan friend standing over Fitz’s body holding a gun. He was shaken badly and was bleeding. I pulled my gun and began to interrogate him.
He said Fitz attacked him. But not in anger. He wanted the man to kill him. Fitz told him he wanted to die. When the man refused Fitz reached for the gun and that was when it went off into his chest.
Tyler dropped the letter and sat down at the table. He ran his hand over his face and tried to breathe. Nausea bubbled in his stomach and he had to will it down. Fitz Field had committed suicide.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It had been nearly two weeks since Courtney had locked Tyler out of her room, out of the house, and out of her life.
He’d spent the night after finding out what was in the letter. He slept on the couch to be there when she needed him. The truth had been, she didn’t need him.
Courtney had stood there the next morning and asked him to leave. No explanation. No apologies.
Tyler had done just that. Since then he’d called, texted, and stopped by. But for two weeks, he hadn’t seen her or heard from her.
Perhaps she was mad because he’d called her father the next day. But Michael Field already knew about the letter and his daughter’s reaction. He too was feeling the pain of his son’s final words. However, with Courtney’s wish in mind, he wouldn’t agree to help Tyler see her.
“In time and only when she’s ready,” he’d said on the front step of his home when Tyler had driven out.
“I understand. Please, sir, tell her I love her. I want to be there for her—for you all.”
Courtney heard her mother sigh as she stepped back from the window. “He’s gone,” she said and Courtney nodded. “Don’t you suppose you should talk to him? He seems to care a lot about you.”
“He does. That’s the problem.”
“And how could that be a problem?” Her mother sat down next to her on the bed. “Don’t you believe in the power of love?”
Courtney swallowed back the venomous anger she wanted to spew. Instead she took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it free.
“Mother, I can’t be someone’s burden ever again. I don’t plan to be yours and I certainly don’t plan on giving this horrible life to someone else.”
She heard the saddened tsk her mother made, but she didn’t scold her. “What about the gala tomorrow? You’ve worked so hard. You should be there.”
“No. I won’t go. He can fire me, because I’m never doing that again.”
Her mother patted her knee. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Your father and I don’t think you’re a burden. And I don’t think your brother thought you were either.”
She felt her mother rise from the bed and heard the door close when her mother had left.
Courtney fell back onto the bed and sobbed again. How could Fitz have said such things in his letter? He resented their father for putting him into situations which had landed him where he was. “Who forces their son to train to kill others?” Fitz had written.
It still hurt—the sting of his words. Though he’d never said she was a burden, he’d apologized for the life he’d ended up giving her—a life of darkness and missed opportunities.
Who was he, the boy who’d taken his own life from them, to say she’d missed any opportunity? If he could have seen the life she painted in her mind he’d never have done what he did. Fitz had been her life and now he was gone by his own hand. It hurt. It hurt worse than having learned about it the first time. Worse than the day they collected his casket off the plane and her mother sobbed over it.
But Tyler had mended her heart and let her mourn her brother and accept his fate. How could she possibly accept this?
If Tyler ran when a blessing such as a sister arrived in his life then he certainly would run from a woman who would always need and depend on him—or anyone for that matter.
It was better to let him grieve their brief affair and move on with his life. He’d be a foolish idiot if he didn’t realize that his family was perfect. All of them. Even his mother who gave away her baby when it seemed darkest.
It stung to know that Tyler’s family would accept her as she was forever. But then again, they wouldn’t be the ones daily having to make sure everything was just right. Even children. Those children would come and she’d learn to adapt, but even their slight messes around the house could be dangerous. It was just better to say goodbye to the man and not think another thought of him.
Courtney sobbed until she no longer could tell light and dark. The sun had gone now, she knew. She was in her childhood bedroom—alone.
And she missed Tyler.
~*~
Simone worked the room as she did so well. The event was bigger than Tyler could have ever imagined. There was a vendor that was supposed to be set up in the tents that was late. One of the sections of parking hadn’t yet been opened. And of all people, Simone’s father had shown up.
How come his arrival at the event hadn’t shaken her up? After all, she’d barely spoken to her father in twenty years. Why show up now? Why here? Why bother?
However, Simone graced her guests with a smile and pure calm. So why did Courtney’s absence make Tyler feel so off kilter?
“Honey, you did a wonderful job,” his mother said as she approached him. “This is the best gala I think Diamond Gift has ever had.”
The door slammed and the lock clicked when he reached it.
“This is ridiculous. Why won’t you tell me what he said?”
“I-want-to-be-alone,” she screamed in almost a demonic voice.
Tyler stepped away from the door and went back to the kitchen where the other letter lay. He picked it up and finished from where he’d left off.
He began where the writer said; The military was never his choosing.
If I could call him a daredevil in combat, I would. He didn’t show fear when standing down insurgents. But he did show great remorse if he took a life.
I highly believe that that and the lack of military desire, led to the following events.
We had promised to take turns sleeping. We were aware that we had been away from our squad for nearly going on two days. There was some chance we’d not be found. Though Fitz was sure they were near and would still come for us. During one of my sleeps I was awaken by gunfire. When I rose I found our Afghan friend standing over Fitz’s body holding a gun. He was shaken badly and was bleeding. I pulled my gun and began to interrogate him.
He said Fitz attacked him. But not in anger. He wanted the man to kill him. Fitz told him he wanted to die. When the man refused Fitz reached for the gun and that was when it went off into his chest.
Tyler dropped the letter and sat down at the table. He ran his hand over his face and tried to breathe. Nausea bubbled in his stomach and he had to will it down. Fitz Field had committed suicide.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It had been nearly two weeks since Courtney had locked Tyler out of her room, out of the house, and out of her life.
He’d spent the night after finding out what was in the letter. He slept on the couch to be there when she needed him. The truth had been, she didn’t need him.
Courtney had stood there the next morning and asked him to leave. No explanation. No apologies.
Tyler had done just that. Since then he’d called, texted, and stopped by. But for two weeks, he hadn’t seen her or heard from her.
Perhaps she was mad because he’d called her father the next day. But Michael Field already knew about the letter and his daughter’s reaction. He too was feeling the pain of his son’s final words. However, with Courtney’s wish in mind, he wouldn’t agree to help Tyler see her.
“In time and only when she’s ready,” he’d said on the front step of his home when Tyler had driven out.
“I understand. Please, sir, tell her I love her. I want to be there for her—for you all.”
Courtney heard her mother sigh as she stepped back from the window. “He’s gone,” she said and Courtney nodded. “Don’t you suppose you should talk to him? He seems to care a lot about you.”
“He does. That’s the problem.”
“And how could that be a problem?” Her mother sat down next to her on the bed. “Don’t you believe in the power of love?”
Courtney swallowed back the venomous anger she wanted to spew. Instead she took a deep breath and held it for a moment before letting it free.
“Mother, I can’t be someone’s burden ever again. I don’t plan to be yours and I certainly don’t plan on giving this horrible life to someone else.”
She heard the saddened tsk her mother made, but she didn’t scold her. “What about the gala tomorrow? You’ve worked so hard. You should be there.”
“No. I won’t go. He can fire me, because I’m never doing that again.”
Her mother patted her knee. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Your father and I don’t think you’re a burden. And I don’t think your brother thought you were either.”
She felt her mother rise from the bed and heard the door close when her mother had left.
Courtney fell back onto the bed and sobbed again. How could Fitz have said such things in his letter? He resented their father for putting him into situations which had landed him where he was. “Who forces their son to train to kill others?” Fitz had written.
It still hurt—the sting of his words. Though he’d never said she was a burden, he’d apologized for the life he’d ended up giving her—a life of darkness and missed opportunities.
Who was he, the boy who’d taken his own life from them, to say she’d missed any opportunity? If he could have seen the life she painted in her mind he’d never have done what he did. Fitz had been her life and now he was gone by his own hand. It hurt. It hurt worse than having learned about it the first time. Worse than the day they collected his casket off the plane and her mother sobbed over it.
But Tyler had mended her heart and let her mourn her brother and accept his fate. How could she possibly accept this?
If Tyler ran when a blessing such as a sister arrived in his life then he certainly would run from a woman who would always need and depend on him—or anyone for that matter.
It was better to let him grieve their brief affair and move on with his life. He’d be a foolish idiot if he didn’t realize that his family was perfect. All of them. Even his mother who gave away her baby when it seemed darkest.
It stung to know that Tyler’s family would accept her as she was forever. But then again, they wouldn’t be the ones daily having to make sure everything was just right. Even children. Those children would come and she’d learn to adapt, but even their slight messes around the house could be dangerous. It was just better to say goodbye to the man and not think another thought of him.
Courtney sobbed until she no longer could tell light and dark. The sun had gone now, she knew. She was in her childhood bedroom—alone.
And she missed Tyler.
~*~
Simone worked the room as she did so well. The event was bigger than Tyler could have ever imagined. There was a vendor that was supposed to be set up in the tents that was late. One of the sections of parking hadn’t yet been opened. And of all people, Simone’s father had shown up.
How come his arrival at the event hadn’t shaken her up? After all, she’d barely spoken to her father in twenty years. Why show up now? Why here? Why bother?
However, Simone graced her guests with a smile and pure calm. So why did Courtney’s absence make Tyler feel so off kilter?
“Honey, you did a wonderful job,” his mother said as she approached him. “This is the best gala I think Diamond Gift has ever had.”
