The Acceptance
Page 54
I don’t want to see more people die. I don’t want to be the reason for their death. I can’t live like this. I wish I had a little bit of the courage to go on as my sister does. She truly is my hero.
He stopped as she rested her face in her hands.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I needed to hear that. I needed it so much.”
Tyler moved toward her and gathered her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck and fell against him.
“You were his hero, not his burden.”
“I miss him. I miss him so much.”
“You should.” Tyler pushed her back and brushed her hair back from her face. “I want to do something. Will you come with me?”
“Where are we going?”
“Let me just surprise you. Will you let me do that?”
The tension was visibly sliding away.
“Okay,” she said smiling.
There might be hope for this after all.
Courtney sat quietly in the car. Her brother loved her, she thought. But why couldn’t she have been enough of a hero to him so that he’d come back to her?
The road beneath them changed. “Are we on a dirt road?”
“We sure are.”
“Where are we going?”
He took her hand and laced their fingers together. “Two more miles and I’ll tell you.”
She nodded. Other than Fitz, she’d never trusted anyone as much as she trusted Tyler.
Five more minutes down the road, the car stopped.
“Okay, get out.”
“Where are we?” she asked opening her door and setting her feet on the ground, getting a feel for the terrain.
She heard Tyler climb out of the car and walk around toward her.
“We’re on the road leading up to my parents’ house,” he said taking her hands.
“Are we going for a walk?”
He chuckled. “No, c’mon.” He led her around the heated hood of the car. “We’re going for a ride.”
“So why did you stop?”
“Because you’re going to drive us up to the house.”
Courtney stopped. “Oh, no. You’re crazy.”
“No,” he laughed. “I’m not crazy. C’mon, think of it as Fitz’s wish for you. To drive away when it all gets too hard.”
“Tyler…”
“Get in.”
Her nerves fluttered in her chest, but she was actually giddy to try such a thing.
Tyler helped her into the car. “Okay, here’s your seatbelt,” he said handing it to her and she clicked it in. “I’m getting in and then I’ll tell you everything.”
She heard him on the gravel under his shoes and then heard him slide into the seat next to her.
“The car is in the middle of the road. There are a lot of trees, so we are going to take it very slow.” He inched toward her. “Put your hand on the wheel.” She followed his instruction. “With your right foot, feel for the pedals. On the left, the horizontal pedal is the brake.”
“I have seen a car set-up, you know.”
“Yeah, you’re not eight. I’m still walking you through this.”
Now she laughed. “Okay. I can feel the brake.” She moved her foot over. “Now the gas.”
“Right. Press down on the brake.”
She did so, pushing it as far as she possibly could.
“Reach your right hand to your right.” He guided her hand to the shift. “Keep your foot on that brake. Now, feel the button underneath?”
“Yeah.”
“Press it in. Now click it down one and you’re in reverse. One more click is neutral. One more click and you’re in drive.”
“I’m not really going to do this.”
“Oh yes you are. Now put it in drive. Keep your foot on the brake.”
Courtney eased the shift down three clicks and she felt the car purr beneath her.
“Now, both hands on the wheel.”
She gripped the wheel tightly and he laughed.
“Ease up a bit.”
“I’m nervous. I might kill us both.”
“Well, we’d be together.”
“Tyler!”
He rested his hand on hers. “You’re not even going to take your foot off the brake. But ease up just a bit.”
Courtney let her foot ease up on the brake and the car began to roll. Quickly she pressed the pedal into the floor and the car jerked.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said, but the humor was heavy in his voice. “Ease up again.”
Courtney let her foot ease up and the car began to roll again. “Oh, God!”
“Now just keep it where it is.”
“Oh, Tyler. Don’t let me crash.”
“Keep going.”
Courtney kept reminding herself to breathe. She could feel the road. The rise and fall of the ruts dug into the dirt.
“How fast are we going?”
She felt him move closer to her. “We haven’t broken ten miles an hour.”
Courtney laughed. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this.”
“You can do anything. Your brother said so.”
Courtney bit down to keep her emotions tucked down. She hadn’t thought she’d ever do this, but she was. She was driving away when everything seemed so hard.
“Turn your wheel the slightest bit to the right, there’s a curve.”
“I can’t do this. Don’t let me hit anything.”
“You’re not going to. Keep going.”
She was driving. How was it possible? She’d always wanted to do this. When she was little, she’d sat on her father’s lap and driven down private roads, just like she was doing right now.
Tyler gave her directions and she followed. A laugh burst through and Tyler’s hand came to the wheel.
“Are you okay?” Now he was laughing too.
“Yes. This is amazing.”
“Well, you’ve almost made it to the house.”
She gripped the wheel tighter. “Don’t let me hit anything.”
“Just a little farther. We’re almost to the house.”
She pressed her foot down on the brake and the car jerked. “I can’t go any farther.”
“Put it in park.”
Courtney reached for the shift and pushed it all the way to the top. Her hand shook when she let go of the gearshift and Tyler took it in his.
He stopped as she rested her face in her hands.
“Are you okay?”
She nodded. “I needed to hear that. I needed it so much.”
Tyler moved toward her and gathered her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck and fell against him.
“You were his hero, not his burden.”
“I miss him. I miss him so much.”
“You should.” Tyler pushed her back and brushed her hair back from her face. “I want to do something. Will you come with me?”
“Where are we going?”
“Let me just surprise you. Will you let me do that?”
The tension was visibly sliding away.
“Okay,” she said smiling.
There might be hope for this after all.
Courtney sat quietly in the car. Her brother loved her, she thought. But why couldn’t she have been enough of a hero to him so that he’d come back to her?
The road beneath them changed. “Are we on a dirt road?”
“We sure are.”
“Where are we going?”
He took her hand and laced their fingers together. “Two more miles and I’ll tell you.”
She nodded. Other than Fitz, she’d never trusted anyone as much as she trusted Tyler.
Five more minutes down the road, the car stopped.
“Okay, get out.”
“Where are we?” she asked opening her door and setting her feet on the ground, getting a feel for the terrain.
She heard Tyler climb out of the car and walk around toward her.
“We’re on the road leading up to my parents’ house,” he said taking her hands.
“Are we going for a walk?”
He chuckled. “No, c’mon.” He led her around the heated hood of the car. “We’re going for a ride.”
“So why did you stop?”
“Because you’re going to drive us up to the house.”
Courtney stopped. “Oh, no. You’re crazy.”
“No,” he laughed. “I’m not crazy. C’mon, think of it as Fitz’s wish for you. To drive away when it all gets too hard.”
“Tyler…”
“Get in.”
Her nerves fluttered in her chest, but she was actually giddy to try such a thing.
Tyler helped her into the car. “Okay, here’s your seatbelt,” he said handing it to her and she clicked it in. “I’m getting in and then I’ll tell you everything.”
She heard him on the gravel under his shoes and then heard him slide into the seat next to her.
“The car is in the middle of the road. There are a lot of trees, so we are going to take it very slow.” He inched toward her. “Put your hand on the wheel.” She followed his instruction. “With your right foot, feel for the pedals. On the left, the horizontal pedal is the brake.”
“I have seen a car set-up, you know.”
“Yeah, you’re not eight. I’m still walking you through this.”
Now she laughed. “Okay. I can feel the brake.” She moved her foot over. “Now the gas.”
“Right. Press down on the brake.”
She did so, pushing it as far as she possibly could.
“Reach your right hand to your right.” He guided her hand to the shift. “Keep your foot on that brake. Now, feel the button underneath?”
“Yeah.”
“Press it in. Now click it down one and you’re in reverse. One more click is neutral. One more click and you’re in drive.”
“I’m not really going to do this.”
“Oh yes you are. Now put it in drive. Keep your foot on the brake.”
Courtney eased the shift down three clicks and she felt the car purr beneath her.
“Now, both hands on the wheel.”
She gripped the wheel tightly and he laughed.
“Ease up a bit.”
“I’m nervous. I might kill us both.”
“Well, we’d be together.”
“Tyler!”
He rested his hand on hers. “You’re not even going to take your foot off the brake. But ease up just a bit.”
Courtney let her foot ease up on the brake and the car began to roll. Quickly she pressed the pedal into the floor and the car jerked.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said, but the humor was heavy in his voice. “Ease up again.”
Courtney let her foot ease up and the car began to roll again. “Oh, God!”
“Now just keep it where it is.”
“Oh, Tyler. Don’t let me crash.”
“Keep going.”
Courtney kept reminding herself to breathe. She could feel the road. The rise and fall of the ruts dug into the dirt.
“How fast are we going?”
She felt him move closer to her. “We haven’t broken ten miles an hour.”
Courtney laughed. “I can’t believe you’re letting me do this.”
“You can do anything. Your brother said so.”
Courtney bit down to keep her emotions tucked down. She hadn’t thought she’d ever do this, but she was. She was driving away when everything seemed so hard.
“Turn your wheel the slightest bit to the right, there’s a curve.”
“I can’t do this. Don’t let me hit anything.”
“You’re not going to. Keep going.”
She was driving. How was it possible? She’d always wanted to do this. When she was little, she’d sat on her father’s lap and driven down private roads, just like she was doing right now.
Tyler gave her directions and she followed. A laugh burst through and Tyler’s hand came to the wheel.
“Are you okay?” Now he was laughing too.
“Yes. This is amazing.”
“Well, you’ve almost made it to the house.”
She gripped the wheel tighter. “Don’t let me hit anything.”
“Just a little farther. We’re almost to the house.”
She pressed her foot down on the brake and the car jerked. “I can’t go any farther.”
“Put it in park.”
Courtney reached for the shift and pushed it all the way to the top. Her hand shook when she let go of the gearshift and Tyler took it in his.
