The Accidental Assassin
Page 20
“You started joke hour.” I quickened my pace so I could get to the car and open the door.
“I’m officially shutting it down.” She tried to look annoyed but couldn’t hide the amusement in her eyes.
“Kill joy.” I closed her door and moved around to the driver’s side.
“Nope, that’s your job.”
Ouch. That one stung.
“Way to beat a dead horse, Ava.” I set the car in drive and headed for town.
She snickered loudly. “What, that doesn’t fall under your job description, too?”
“I leave the animal slaughtering to my apprentice.”
“You have an apprentice?” Her tone lost some of its laughter.
“No, Ava. I don’t have an apprentice. There is no assassins’ guild. No journeymen trying to work their way up the ranks. No apprentices mucking bloody rooms.” I sighed. “And I don’t beat animals.”
“Sorry.” I could see her suck her bottom lip into her mouth. “I’m in unfamiliar territory.”
“No problem.” I kept my voice calm. “You’re going to have to trust me and if that means answering random questions then I will do my best to supply the correct response.”
“Look, I’m not used to depending on other people. I take care of myself.” She frowned out the window. “So this is new for me.”
“And you don’t like it.” If the roles were reversed I wouldn’t like it either.
“Of course I don’t like it. And it’s not exactly like you’re upstanding citizen material.” She waved her hands in front of her. “I mean you’re not a police officer or secretly a knight in the Queen’s Royal Guard.”
“Why are you so sure I’m not a secret knight in the Queen’s Guard?” I raised an eyebrow but kept my eyes on the road.
Silence filled the car.
When I finally looked over at my companion her mouth was ajar. I couldn’t help the smile that split my face.
“You asshole. I knew you weren’t some secret agent.” She crossed her arms.
“You thought about it.”
Her eyebrows narrowed and she squinted at me. “You’re awfully chipper today. Aren’t you breaking some kind of assassin rule?”
“Nowhere in the indoctrination did it say I had to frown while killing people.”
“I bet you had classes on how to annoy people, too.” She looked out the window but I could see a small smile in her reflection. “For your exam you would just stare at the instructor with that smug grin plastered across your face.”
“Top of the class.”
“I can imagine.” She shook her head. “Did you wear bullet proof vests to class? Or were you expected to protect yourself with bare hands from ninjas that jumped out from nowhere?”
“You have a very active imagination.” I turned onto the road that would take us to town.
“Maybe, but I never imagined I would kill someone in a parking garage or run away with an assassin.” She cracked the window and lifted her head as if trying to get a good breath. “Or that I would be riding along a back road in a stolen car.”
“Well, killing Song was an accident. An accident that he caused.” I shrugged and turned on the windshield wipers. The misty rain was making it difficult to see the road. “No one imagines they’re going to run over a pimp in a car garage.”
A soft chuckle escaped her soft lips that blossomed into a throaty laugh. “Oh God. I killed a pimp in a London car garage. A pimp. A well dressed, non-fur wearing pimp.”
“Yes, you did.” Worry crept up my throat. “Are you about to lose it again?”
“No.” She laughed again. “Maybe. Actually, I think I’ve already lost it.”
I swerved for the edge of the road.
“Not lose it as in my lunch. I mean my mind. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind.” Her laugh took on a shrill note. “Look at me. I’m wearing a stranger’s clothes, riding in a stolen car, a murderer, and running around with a hot hitman. I wanted to shake up my life a little, but this is a bit much.”
“You think I’m hot?” I slowed the car to turn into a parking lot.
“Is that all you heard? Yes. You’re hot. Okay? It’s not like you don’t know that. Your targets probably throw themselves at your feet with a smile. That’s not my point.” She waved her hands in the air and her cheeks turned a pretty red. It amused me to no end. “My damn point is that my life is a fucking mess right now! I’m a freaking mess right now. And we’re…shopping? Where are we? Is this a meat market?”
She turned her large blue eyes in my direction while flinging a hand in the direction of a sign that was shaped like chicken riding a pig.
“Yes, this is a meat market. No, me being hot was not the only thing I heard you say.” Though it had been a bright point in her rambling. I opened the door and walked around to her side of the car. She was still pointing at the sign.
“That pig doesn’t look very happy.” Her eyes met mine as I opened her door.
“Sure he is. They’re romping…through a field having a great time.” I looked at the sign. “It’s like pig and chicken heaven. They’re running through the Elysian Fields. Avoiding meat cleavers.”
“So, you’re saying that the pig and chicken were gladiators and now ride each other around the Greek version of heaven for fun.” She took my hand and let me pull her out of the car.
“I’m officially shutting it down.” She tried to look annoyed but couldn’t hide the amusement in her eyes.
“Kill joy.” I closed her door and moved around to the driver’s side.
“Nope, that’s your job.”
Ouch. That one stung.
“Way to beat a dead horse, Ava.” I set the car in drive and headed for town.
She snickered loudly. “What, that doesn’t fall under your job description, too?”
“I leave the animal slaughtering to my apprentice.”
“You have an apprentice?” Her tone lost some of its laughter.
“No, Ava. I don’t have an apprentice. There is no assassins’ guild. No journeymen trying to work their way up the ranks. No apprentices mucking bloody rooms.” I sighed. “And I don’t beat animals.”
“Sorry.” I could see her suck her bottom lip into her mouth. “I’m in unfamiliar territory.”
“No problem.” I kept my voice calm. “You’re going to have to trust me and if that means answering random questions then I will do my best to supply the correct response.”
“Look, I’m not used to depending on other people. I take care of myself.” She frowned out the window. “So this is new for me.”
“And you don’t like it.” If the roles were reversed I wouldn’t like it either.
“Of course I don’t like it. And it’s not exactly like you’re upstanding citizen material.” She waved her hands in front of her. “I mean you’re not a police officer or secretly a knight in the Queen’s Royal Guard.”
“Why are you so sure I’m not a secret knight in the Queen’s Guard?” I raised an eyebrow but kept my eyes on the road.
Silence filled the car.
When I finally looked over at my companion her mouth was ajar. I couldn’t help the smile that split my face.
“You asshole. I knew you weren’t some secret agent.” She crossed her arms.
“You thought about it.”
Her eyebrows narrowed and she squinted at me. “You’re awfully chipper today. Aren’t you breaking some kind of assassin rule?”
“Nowhere in the indoctrination did it say I had to frown while killing people.”
“I bet you had classes on how to annoy people, too.” She looked out the window but I could see a small smile in her reflection. “For your exam you would just stare at the instructor with that smug grin plastered across your face.”
“Top of the class.”
“I can imagine.” She shook her head. “Did you wear bullet proof vests to class? Or were you expected to protect yourself with bare hands from ninjas that jumped out from nowhere?”
“You have a very active imagination.” I turned onto the road that would take us to town.
“Maybe, but I never imagined I would kill someone in a parking garage or run away with an assassin.” She cracked the window and lifted her head as if trying to get a good breath. “Or that I would be riding along a back road in a stolen car.”
“Well, killing Song was an accident. An accident that he caused.” I shrugged and turned on the windshield wipers. The misty rain was making it difficult to see the road. “No one imagines they’re going to run over a pimp in a car garage.”
A soft chuckle escaped her soft lips that blossomed into a throaty laugh. “Oh God. I killed a pimp in a London car garage. A pimp. A well dressed, non-fur wearing pimp.”
“Yes, you did.” Worry crept up my throat. “Are you about to lose it again?”
“No.” She laughed again. “Maybe. Actually, I think I’ve already lost it.”
I swerved for the edge of the road.
“Not lose it as in my lunch. I mean my mind. I’m pretty sure I’ve lost my mind.” Her laugh took on a shrill note. “Look at me. I’m wearing a stranger’s clothes, riding in a stolen car, a murderer, and running around with a hot hitman. I wanted to shake up my life a little, but this is a bit much.”
“You think I’m hot?” I slowed the car to turn into a parking lot.
“Is that all you heard? Yes. You’re hot. Okay? It’s not like you don’t know that. Your targets probably throw themselves at your feet with a smile. That’s not my point.” She waved her hands in the air and her cheeks turned a pretty red. It amused me to no end. “My damn point is that my life is a fucking mess right now! I’m a freaking mess right now. And we’re…shopping? Where are we? Is this a meat market?”
She turned her large blue eyes in my direction while flinging a hand in the direction of a sign that was shaped like chicken riding a pig.
“Yes, this is a meat market. No, me being hot was not the only thing I heard you say.” Though it had been a bright point in her rambling. I opened the door and walked around to her side of the car. She was still pointing at the sign.
“That pig doesn’t look very happy.” Her eyes met mine as I opened her door.
“Sure he is. They’re romping…through a field having a great time.” I looked at the sign. “It’s like pig and chicken heaven. They’re running through the Elysian Fields. Avoiding meat cleavers.”
“So, you’re saying that the pig and chicken were gladiators and now ride each other around the Greek version of heaven for fun.” She took my hand and let me pull her out of the car.
