The Accidental Assassin
Page 79
Kenny just grunted.
“Right, well, I’m ready to shower.” I pushed myself up and started to stand. He held his hand out to me and I let him help me the rest of the way to my feet. “Thanks.”
His eyes ran over my and he pressed a soft kiss to my temple.
I knew he wasn’t happy about watching Mavis throw me around, but he hadn’t tried to stop it. Which I appreciated. I wasn’t going to be worth anything by the time we got to Paris, but at least it was a start.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that if I was going to keep Owen in my life, I’d need to learn how to take care of myself. If I could take care of myself then he wouldn’t do stupid things like jumping in front of bullets to save me.
Hot water helped work the knots out of my back and neck, but nothing was going to help the deep ache from muscles that hadn’t been used for too long. By the time I got out, there wasn’t much warm water left, but I didn’t care. I hobbled back to the bedroom I had shared with Owen the night before and collapsed face-down on the bed. Putting clothes on seemed like too much work, so I just lay there to finish air drying.
I was a wimp.
I heard the door open, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t care that I was naked in a strange house full of staff and assassins. And wanna-be assassins if you included Kenny. I was comfortable and that was worth more than my modesty at the moment.
The bed dipped and a hand ran down my leg, working the muscles with strong fingers.
“I really hope you’re Owen. Otherwise, he might be pissed.”
“Not might, love.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Good. It’s you.” I sighed as he worked down the other leg. “That feels great.”
“Mavis pushed you hard today.”
I attempted a shrug and winced. “I’ve got a lot to learn.”
“I understand wanting to be able to take care of yourself.” His voice was low. “I just don’t like that you feel you need to.”
“Is that your pesky male ego talking?” I turned my head so I could see his profile.
“No.” He frowned but continued working on my legs. “I don’t like you being involved in all of this.”
“Sorry to point out the obvious, but I am involved in all of this and I don’t want to just sit around and cower behind everyone.”
“We have two days. You won’t be ready to take on the bad guys, Ava.” He switched legs.
“I know that.” I closed my eyes.
“Then why are you torturing yourself right now?” He stopped and met my gaze.
How to answer? We hadn’t even defined our relationship. Blurt out that I wanted to keep him in my life? That I needed to be able to protect myself so that I wouldn’t slow him down?
“Ava?” He shifted so he could pull me onto his lap.
“A girl should know how to take care of herself.” I didn’t meet his eyes. “Life has really highlighted that point for me lately.”
“After this, you can go back to your life. Find a job and not worry about people trying to kill you.” He used his fingers to make me look at him. “You can get a security system and a big dog.”
“How can you be so sure?” I frowned. “After this I’ll still have to deal with the police and God knows who else. I’ve got to find Tessa, too.”
“I’ll help you find Tessa.” Calm, clear eyes watched me.
“What about after?” I hated that my voice shook on the last word.
“After that.” His eyes clouded. “I’ll make sure you’re okay, Ava.”
“I…I want more than okay. I want to be happy.” I want you, you stupid, hot, perfect man.
“Ava.” He leaned forward and pressed his head to mine. “I don’t know how to keep someone happy long term. I’m not cut out for happy.”
“Have you ever tried?” My tone was sharp. “I thought you liked being with me.”
“I more than like being with you. I love it—” he cursed under his breath. “Damn it. Ava, love. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to see what kind of jewelry you make and how you look cooking breakfast naked. I want all of that and things I can’t even let myself think about, because I don’t deserve that. I’m not that person. I don’t live in that world and I can’t give you what you want, what you deserve.”
“How do you know what I want?” I captured his face in my hands. “I don’t even know what I want. Shouldn’t I get to have a say in that? To decide?”
“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” He took a deep breath. “You’re so innocent and kind. You’re everything I’m not. I kill people, Ava. You can’t have a future with someone that works for death.”
“You kill bad people.” I narrowed my eyes. “And I’m not as sweet and innocent as you think. I did kill and then run over the dead body of a pimp. I’ve stolen a car, used fake identification, and carried an illegal weapon.”
“All of that happened after you met me.” He frowned.
“The point is…I don’t feel bad about any of it. Not even Mr. Song.” I shook my head when he started to say something. “I did at first, because I was the one that did it, but then I realized that I wouldn’t have been upset if someone else had done it. I mean I can’t be upset if the world lost one more bad guy.”
“Right, well, I’m ready to shower.” I pushed myself up and started to stand. He held his hand out to me and I let him help me the rest of the way to my feet. “Thanks.”
His eyes ran over my and he pressed a soft kiss to my temple.
I knew he wasn’t happy about watching Mavis throw me around, but he hadn’t tried to stop it. Which I appreciated. I wasn’t going to be worth anything by the time we got to Paris, but at least it was a start.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that if I was going to keep Owen in my life, I’d need to learn how to take care of myself. If I could take care of myself then he wouldn’t do stupid things like jumping in front of bullets to save me.
Hot water helped work the knots out of my back and neck, but nothing was going to help the deep ache from muscles that hadn’t been used for too long. By the time I got out, there wasn’t much warm water left, but I didn’t care. I hobbled back to the bedroom I had shared with Owen the night before and collapsed face-down on the bed. Putting clothes on seemed like too much work, so I just lay there to finish air drying.
I was a wimp.
I heard the door open, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t care that I was naked in a strange house full of staff and assassins. And wanna-be assassins if you included Kenny. I was comfortable and that was worth more than my modesty at the moment.
The bed dipped and a hand ran down my leg, working the muscles with strong fingers.
“I really hope you’re Owen. Otherwise, he might be pissed.”
“Not might, love.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Good. It’s you.” I sighed as he worked down the other leg. “That feels great.”
“Mavis pushed you hard today.”
I attempted a shrug and winced. “I’ve got a lot to learn.”
“I understand wanting to be able to take care of yourself.” His voice was low. “I just don’t like that you feel you need to.”
“Is that your pesky male ego talking?” I turned my head so I could see his profile.
“No.” He frowned but continued working on my legs. “I don’t like you being involved in all of this.”
“Sorry to point out the obvious, but I am involved in all of this and I don’t want to just sit around and cower behind everyone.”
“We have two days. You won’t be ready to take on the bad guys, Ava.” He switched legs.
“I know that.” I closed my eyes.
“Then why are you torturing yourself right now?” He stopped and met my gaze.
How to answer? We hadn’t even defined our relationship. Blurt out that I wanted to keep him in my life? That I needed to be able to protect myself so that I wouldn’t slow him down?
“Ava?” He shifted so he could pull me onto his lap.
“A girl should know how to take care of herself.” I didn’t meet his eyes. “Life has really highlighted that point for me lately.”
“After this, you can go back to your life. Find a job and not worry about people trying to kill you.” He used his fingers to make me look at him. “You can get a security system and a big dog.”
“How can you be so sure?” I frowned. “After this I’ll still have to deal with the police and God knows who else. I’ve got to find Tessa, too.”
“I’ll help you find Tessa.” Calm, clear eyes watched me.
“What about after?” I hated that my voice shook on the last word.
“After that.” His eyes clouded. “I’ll make sure you’re okay, Ava.”
“I…I want more than okay. I want to be happy.” I want you, you stupid, hot, perfect man.
“Ava.” He leaned forward and pressed his head to mine. “I don’t know how to keep someone happy long term. I’m not cut out for happy.”
“Have you ever tried?” My tone was sharp. “I thought you liked being with me.”
“I more than like being with you. I love it—” he cursed under his breath. “Damn it. Ava, love. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to see what kind of jewelry you make and how you look cooking breakfast naked. I want all of that and things I can’t even let myself think about, because I don’t deserve that. I’m not that person. I don’t live in that world and I can’t give you what you want, what you deserve.”
“How do you know what I want?” I captured his face in my hands. “I don’t even know what I want. Shouldn’t I get to have a say in that? To decide?”
“I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you.” He took a deep breath. “You’re so innocent and kind. You’re everything I’m not. I kill people, Ava. You can’t have a future with someone that works for death.”
“You kill bad people.” I narrowed my eyes. “And I’m not as sweet and innocent as you think. I did kill and then run over the dead body of a pimp. I’ve stolen a car, used fake identification, and carried an illegal weapon.”
“All of that happened after you met me.” He frowned.
“The point is…I don’t feel bad about any of it. Not even Mr. Song.” I shook my head when he started to say something. “I did at first, because I was the one that did it, but then I realized that I wouldn’t have been upset if someone else had done it. I mean I can’t be upset if the world lost one more bad guy.”
