The Air He Breathes
Page 5
“Yes, baby?”
“What’s a dick?”
Parenting fail number five-hundred-and-eighty-two of today. “Nothing, babe. I said tick. A tick is a bug.”
“So you called that person a bug?”
“Yup. A big bug.”
“Is his puppy going to die?” she asked next.
I really hope not.
After unbuckling Emma, we headed into the emergency hospital. Stranger was slamming his hands against the receptionist’s desk. His lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying.
The receptionist grew more and more uncomfortable. “Sir, I’m just saying I need you to fill out the forms and provide us with a reliable credit card, or we cannot proceed with looking into your pet’s injuries. Furthermore, you cannot just walk in here with no shoes. Also, your attitude isn’t needed.”
Stranger banged his fists against the desk once more before pacing back and forth, his hands running through his long black hair and landing against his neck. His breaths were heavy and uneven, his chest rising and falling quite hard. “Does it fucking look like I am currently traveling with credit cards? I was on a run, you idiot! And if you aren’t going to do anything, then get me someone else to talk to.”
The woman flinched at his words and anger, as did I.
“They’re with me,” I said, walking over to the receptionist. Emma clung to my arm and Bubba clung to hers. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my wallet and handed the woman my card.
She narrowed her eyes, unsure. “You’re with him?” she asked, almost insultingly, as if Stranger was someone who deserved to be alone.
No one deserved to be alone.
I looked at him and saw perplexity in his eyes, along with the anger, which still remained. I wanted to break our stare, but the misery swimming in his irises seemed way too familiar to pull away from. “Yes.” I nodded. “I’m with him.” She hesitated some more, and I stood up straight. “Is that a problem?”
“No, no. I just need you to fill out this form.”
I took the clipboard from her grip and walked over to the sitting area.
The overhead television was tuned to Animal Planet, and there was a train set in the far corner, which Emma and Bubba quickly occupied. Stranger kept staring at me, his stance hard and distant. “I need some information,” I said. He approached slowly, sat down beside me, and rested his hands in his lap.
“What’s his name? Your pet?” I asked.
He parted his lips and paused before saying, “Zeus.”
I smiled at the name. Such a perfect name for a large golden retriever.
“And your name?”
“Tristan Cole.”
After finishing the paperwork, I handed it back to the receptionist. “Anything Zeus needs, just put the charges on my card.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“It could add up quickly,” she warned.
“Then add it up quickly.”
I sat back down beside Tristan. His hands started tapping against his shorts and I observed the nerves rushing through him. When I looked at him, he was staring with the same confusion that’d been there since we’d crossed paths.
His lips started muttering something as his fingers rubbed against each other quickly before he put his headphones against his ears and hit play on his cassette tape.
Emma walked over to me every now and then, asking when we could go home, and I’d tell her a little longer. On her way back to the train set, she stared at Tristan, taking in all of his features. “Hey, mister.” He ignored her. She placed her hands on her hips. “Hey, mister!” she said, raising her voice. A year staying with Mama had made my mini-me a sassy-monster. “Hey, Mister! I’m talking to you!” she said, tapping her feet. Stranger looked down at her. “You’re a big, fat, giant TICK!”
Oh my gosh.
I shouldn’t have been allowed to parent. I sucked at the parent thing.
I went to scold her, but for a second I saw a tiny smile creep behind Tristan’s thick beard. It was almost nonexistent, but I swore I saw his bottom lip twitch. Emma had a way of making even the darkest souls smile; I was living proof.
Another thirty minutes passed before the vet came out to inform us that Zeus would be fine, just a few bruises and a fractured front leg. I thanked the vet, and as he walked away, Tristan’s hands loosened and his body stood still. Every inch of him began to shake. With one deep inhale, the angry asshole disappeared and was replaced with despair. He lost himself in his emotions, and when he exhaled, he began to sob uncontrollably. He wailed, his tears harsh, raw, and painful. My eyes watered over, and I swore a part of my heart broke right along with his.
“Hey, Tick! Hey, Tick! Don’t cry, Tick,” Emma said, tugging on Tristan’s T-shirt. “It’s okay.”
“It’s okay,” I said, echoing my sweet girl’s words. I placed a comforting hand against his shoulder. “Zeus is okay. He’s good. You’re good.”
He tilted his head toward me and nodded as if he kind of believed me. A few deep breaths were taken, and he pinched his fingers over his eyes, shaking his head back and forth. He tried his best to hide his embarrassment, his shame.
His throat cleared, and he moved away from me. We stayed at a distance until the vet brought Zeus out to leave. Tristan wrapped his hands around his dog, who was tired but still managed to wag his tail and give his owner puppy kisses. Tristan smiled, and it was almost impossible to miss this time. It was a big smile of relief. If love was a moment, this would be where it existed.
I didn’t invade their space. Emma took my hand, and we walked a few steps behind Tristan and Zeus as they exited the hospital.
Tristan began to walk away with Zeus in his arms, uninterested in a ride back into town. I wanted to stop him, but I had no real reason to ask him to turn back. I buckled Emma into her seat and as I closed her door, I jumped out of my skin when I saw Tristan standing a few inches from me. His eyes locked in with mine. My eyes wouldn’t look away. My breathing became jagged, and I tried my best to remember the last time I’d stood that close to a man.
He stepped in closer.
I stayed still.
He took a breath.
I took one too.
One breath.
That’s all I could manage.
Our proximity made my stomach knot, and I was already prepared to say ‘you’re welcome’ for the ‘thank you’ I was certain he was going to give me.
“What’s a dick?”
Parenting fail number five-hundred-and-eighty-two of today. “Nothing, babe. I said tick. A tick is a bug.”
“So you called that person a bug?”
“Yup. A big bug.”
“Is his puppy going to die?” she asked next.
I really hope not.
After unbuckling Emma, we headed into the emergency hospital. Stranger was slamming his hands against the receptionist’s desk. His lips were moving, but I couldn’t hear anything he was saying.
The receptionist grew more and more uncomfortable. “Sir, I’m just saying I need you to fill out the forms and provide us with a reliable credit card, or we cannot proceed with looking into your pet’s injuries. Furthermore, you cannot just walk in here with no shoes. Also, your attitude isn’t needed.”
Stranger banged his fists against the desk once more before pacing back and forth, his hands running through his long black hair and landing against his neck. His breaths were heavy and uneven, his chest rising and falling quite hard. “Does it fucking look like I am currently traveling with credit cards? I was on a run, you idiot! And if you aren’t going to do anything, then get me someone else to talk to.”
The woman flinched at his words and anger, as did I.
“They’re with me,” I said, walking over to the receptionist. Emma clung to my arm and Bubba clung to hers. Reaching into my purse, I pulled out my wallet and handed the woman my card.
She narrowed her eyes, unsure. “You’re with him?” she asked, almost insultingly, as if Stranger was someone who deserved to be alone.
No one deserved to be alone.
I looked at him and saw perplexity in his eyes, along with the anger, which still remained. I wanted to break our stare, but the misery swimming in his irises seemed way too familiar to pull away from. “Yes.” I nodded. “I’m with him.” She hesitated some more, and I stood up straight. “Is that a problem?”
“No, no. I just need you to fill out this form.”
I took the clipboard from her grip and walked over to the sitting area.
The overhead television was tuned to Animal Planet, and there was a train set in the far corner, which Emma and Bubba quickly occupied. Stranger kept staring at me, his stance hard and distant. “I need some information,” I said. He approached slowly, sat down beside me, and rested his hands in his lap.
“What’s his name? Your pet?” I asked.
He parted his lips and paused before saying, “Zeus.”
I smiled at the name. Such a perfect name for a large golden retriever.
“And your name?”
“Tristan Cole.”
After finishing the paperwork, I handed it back to the receptionist. “Anything Zeus needs, just put the charges on my card.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“It could add up quickly,” she warned.
“Then add it up quickly.”
I sat back down beside Tristan. His hands started tapping against his shorts and I observed the nerves rushing through him. When I looked at him, he was staring with the same confusion that’d been there since we’d crossed paths.
His lips started muttering something as his fingers rubbed against each other quickly before he put his headphones against his ears and hit play on his cassette tape.
Emma walked over to me every now and then, asking when we could go home, and I’d tell her a little longer. On her way back to the train set, she stared at Tristan, taking in all of his features. “Hey, mister.” He ignored her. She placed her hands on her hips. “Hey, mister!” she said, raising her voice. A year staying with Mama had made my mini-me a sassy-monster. “Hey, Mister! I’m talking to you!” she said, tapping her feet. Stranger looked down at her. “You’re a big, fat, giant TICK!”
Oh my gosh.
I shouldn’t have been allowed to parent. I sucked at the parent thing.
I went to scold her, but for a second I saw a tiny smile creep behind Tristan’s thick beard. It was almost nonexistent, but I swore I saw his bottom lip twitch. Emma had a way of making even the darkest souls smile; I was living proof.
Another thirty minutes passed before the vet came out to inform us that Zeus would be fine, just a few bruises and a fractured front leg. I thanked the vet, and as he walked away, Tristan’s hands loosened and his body stood still. Every inch of him began to shake. With one deep inhale, the angry asshole disappeared and was replaced with despair. He lost himself in his emotions, and when he exhaled, he began to sob uncontrollably. He wailed, his tears harsh, raw, and painful. My eyes watered over, and I swore a part of my heart broke right along with his.
“Hey, Tick! Hey, Tick! Don’t cry, Tick,” Emma said, tugging on Tristan’s T-shirt. “It’s okay.”
“It’s okay,” I said, echoing my sweet girl’s words. I placed a comforting hand against his shoulder. “Zeus is okay. He’s good. You’re good.”
He tilted his head toward me and nodded as if he kind of believed me. A few deep breaths were taken, and he pinched his fingers over his eyes, shaking his head back and forth. He tried his best to hide his embarrassment, his shame.
His throat cleared, and he moved away from me. We stayed at a distance until the vet brought Zeus out to leave. Tristan wrapped his hands around his dog, who was tired but still managed to wag his tail and give his owner puppy kisses. Tristan smiled, and it was almost impossible to miss this time. It was a big smile of relief. If love was a moment, this would be where it existed.
I didn’t invade their space. Emma took my hand, and we walked a few steps behind Tristan and Zeus as they exited the hospital.
Tristan began to walk away with Zeus in his arms, uninterested in a ride back into town. I wanted to stop him, but I had no real reason to ask him to turn back. I buckled Emma into her seat and as I closed her door, I jumped out of my skin when I saw Tristan standing a few inches from me. His eyes locked in with mine. My eyes wouldn’t look away. My breathing became jagged, and I tried my best to remember the last time I’d stood that close to a man.
He stepped in closer.
I stayed still.
He took a breath.
I took one too.
One breath.
That’s all I could manage.
Our proximity made my stomach knot, and I was already prepared to say ‘you’re welcome’ for the ‘thank you’ I was certain he was going to give me.
