The Bite That Binds
Page 23
“Did you grow up?” quipped Rowan.
Sam simply looked at him with pity. “Aw, Rowan, didn’t anyone ever tell you that in order to be a smartarse, you need to be smart? If you’re not, it just makes you an arse.”
Even Ricardo laughed at that.
“I could tell you that I was raised by parents who were addicted to crack. I could tell you that I sampled the stuff myself at a very early age. I could also tell you that I’d had a boyfriend who was not only a drug dealer, but a pimp – my pimp. But that would merely be telling you what you want to hear. You want reasons to disapprove of me. The truth of my childhood is, in fact, quite different. Not great, but nothing like that. But, see, I don’t have to explain myself to any of you, and I won’t. I don’t crave the respect of people that I have no respect for.”
Marcia crossed her arms over her chest. “You cannot expect us to respect someone who dislikes us so very much.”
“In all honesty,” began Sam, cocking her head. “I don’t dislike any of you, you just piss me off. Still, you’re entitled to your opinions, and you’re clearly full of them. But like it or not, I’m going to Bind with Jared, and I’m going to one day be responsible for your protection.” She leaned forward, whispering, “So you might want to be nice to me, because I have a vengeful streak.”
Smiling, I kissed her temple. “I can vouch for that. I’ve been on the receiving end of it more than once.”
“You’re right about one thing, though,” Sam told Rowan. “I have ended up a little like my parents. A workaholic. Yes, my parents actually have jobs. In fact, they run their own business. It’s a small business and it doesn’t do very well, but they work hard for a living. What do all of you do again? Oh yeah. Absolutely nothing.”
It was at that moment that the waiter brought over the first course, effectively ending that conversation. I had noticed that Ricardo, Rowan, and Marcia appeared to be looking at Sam a little differently, as if considering her through fresh eyes. The problem was that even if they grew to like her, they wouldn’t fully accept her until they were confident that she could protect them. Thankfully they didn’t know that, at the present moment, she couldn’t properly protect herself, let alone others.
In spite of the awkwardness at the table, conversation came easy and no more insults were exchanged. In fact, the mood even improved when Harvey brought over his smartphone to show his snaps of the paintballing games – I tried to snatch it before anyone saw the ones of me wearing that damn mankini, but Harvey had too good a grip on it.
Of course Magda had to try to ruin the good mood, didn’t she?
Standing behind Marcia’s chair, Magda greeted everyone individually, leaving Sam until last. “Good evening. Enjoying your meal?” Her expression said that she sincerely hoped that the answer was no.
Sam fiddled with the chopstick in her hand. “Still a bit sour that everyone turned on you at the end of paintballing? Karma doesn’t taste all that nice, does it?”
I could understand why Magda snarled at the comment. Just the memory of her standing there, squealing, while a seemingly endless amount of paint pellets showered her…Ah, good times.
“That behaviour was uncall—”
“Oh Magda, Magda, Magda,” began Sam. “We all know that you’re only over here to insult me because you want Jared and you’re jealous – it’s old news. So why not just run along and nobody gets hurt. Okay?”
“You may think that you are clever, Sam. But all I see is an insecure, green-eyed, bitter, hot-headed individual.” Madga’s self-satisfied grin faded when Sam simply shrugged. I had to admit, I was surprised by her composure too.
“At least I don’t have a chopstick sticking out of my eye.” And then she lunged across the table, chopstick in hand. Yep, that was more like my Sam. If Magda hadn’t scampered so fast, she would have ended up in sheer agony. God, I loved this woman.
(Sam)
Taking some time to calm down after Magda’s little jibe, I’d gone out onto the empty veranda. I was actually enjoying the solitude, which was new for me. That peace and quiet didn’t last long, though. Hearing footsteps approach, I swivelled my head to see none other than Ricardo. “Hello there, Rick. Lovely night, isn’t it?”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “My name is Ricardo.”
“Right, that’s what I said.”
“You are very rude.” He didn’t actually sound that annoyed about it.
“And you’re looking for reasons not to like or approve of me.”
“You’re a Sventé. That is reason enough.”
“It’s reason enough for you to worry that I might not be able to guarantee you’re protected,” I granted, “but it doesn’t give you reason to insult me. And you know it.”
His gaze skidded away, almost as if he was slightly ashamed of that. Nah. “Perhaps if you and Jared had been truly devoted to one another, I could accept you. But I know the truth of things. I know that you both sleep with others.”
“Let me guess who told you that…The tribute to Jessica Rabbit. Am I right?”
He peered down at me, frowning. “Yes.”
“It didn’t occur to you that she just might be talking tripe to cause problems?”
“I will admit that jealousy does funny things to people, but surely she would be too protective of one of her vampires to cause him any pain.”
I snickered. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no. The fact is that Jared would never be unfaithful to me. That bloke is loyal to a fault. But, of course, you already know that. You simply want to justify your behaviour. And you need to justify it to those Master Vampires over there who you Sired, don’t you? You need to keep supplying them with reasons not to accept me.”
He stiffened. “My vampires will always follow me.”
“In the past they have, yeah. But you know as well as I do that they will only continue to do that if you continue being someone they respect. Refusing to give your approval to Antonio’s Heir…That’s not exactly admirable behaviour, Rick.”
He inhaled deeply, as if seeking for calm. “It is Ricardo. And as you said, I am entitled to my opinion.”
“Yes, you are. But it would be wise of you to keep that opinion to yourself and to allow them to decide for themselves what they want to do. They’ve been obedient so far, but they’re not a flock of sheep, they’re people with their own minds. This is a very delicate and important matter. Many of them respect Antonio and Jared. I doubt that they’ll want to offend them by leaving before the ceremony. That is what you have every intention of doing, isn’t it?”
He studied me through narrowed eyes. “You are very perceptive.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone about your plan to leave, if that’s what you’re wondering. To be frank, I couldn’t care less if you scuttle off in the day when everyone’s asleep, or whether you dance a bloody jig after the ceremony is done. But you should have a long think before you ask your entire bloodline to leave with you. Yep, they have you to protect them. But what if something happened to you in the future, what then?” I rose from my chair. “I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to. Don’t put them through that.” Then I left him standing there alone, hoping he made the right choice.
Instinctively, I made my way to Jared, who was in a corner with his twin. On hearing Evan’s words, I halted a footstep away.
“I went. To the funeral, I mean.”
As the twins had their backs to me, I stayed where I was, hoping to hear more before Jared sensed me.
“I knew what you meant.” Jared’s tone was flat, lifeless.
“But then I asked myself what the hell I was doing there, and I came straight back.”
Jared frowned at him. “You had every reason and right to go.”
“No. No, I didn’t. How could I pay my respects to someone that I didn’t respect? I don’t like the way people think that we’re supposed to love our parents simply because they’re our parents. If they didn’t live up to their end of the deal, why should we live up to ours?”
“She was good to you.” I’d never heard Jared’s voice sound so small before. He almost seemed…lost – a total first for him. It made my chest ache.
“Not for the right reasons, but it took me a while to see that.” Evan shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how you can’t hate me just a little.”
Jared chuckled, though there didn’t seem much humour in it. “That was one thing she never succeeding in doing, wasn’t it? Causing a divide between me and you proved too much, even for her.”
“I know how you think, so I’m pretty sure you’ve felt bad that you didn’t go to the funeral. Yes, she was our mother, but she didn’t act like one. What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t harsh for not going. I just want you to know that.”
“I don’t feel bad for not going. I feel bad that I don’t feel bad…if that even makes sense.”
“Don’t feel bad. You shouldn’t. She doesn’t deserve the satisfaction. She’ll be looking up at this, laughing in delight, so stop.”
When Jared raised a brow questioningly, his twin shrugged.
“Yeah, she was good to me,” he allowed, “but she’s burning in hell for sure.” Both then chuckled, and turned. When Jared’s eyes landed on me, they instantly narrowed. I could tell by his expression that he knew I’d been eavesdropping, and he wasn’t happy about it.
Evan smiled widely. “Hey there, calmed down yet?”
“No. That’s why I still have this.” I held up the chopstick.
“The look on Magda’s face when you dived at her…Priceless.” A nudge from one of the Master Vampires made Evan turn.
As I looked up at my fiancé, I sighed. “You’re never going to tell me about your mother, are you?” I’d heard the strain in his voice, sensed the pain and anger he felt at merely thinking about her.
Jared’s face hardened. “I’ve said I will, and I will. Just not until after the Binding.”
“But when after the Binding? A month later, a year later, ten?”
“Sam, I told you—” He stopped on hearing Antonio call his name. “I’ll be back in a minute.” But we both knew he wouldn’t.
Laughing, Evan turned away from the vampire and double-blinked at the empty space beside him. “Where’d he go?”
“Do you mean physically or mentally?”
Evan’s expression morphed into one of concern. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s shutting me out again, the bastard.” There was no venom in my voice because a part of me felt sorry for him. But apparently there was enough frustration that Evan decided to subtly lead me out of the room and into the ballroom adjacent to it.
The second the door was closed, he pressed, “What do you mean, shutting you out? Don’t tell me you guys are letting Magda get to you. I really thought you were both coping pretty well with that.”
“We are. Sort of. But that’s not what this is about anyway.”
“Then, what?”
“Answer me something. Is it a lot to ask him to talk to me about your mother, about why he wouldn’t go to the funeral? If it truly is, I’ll let this go. For now. But if it’s not, tell me so that I can kick him up the arse and make him tell me. This isn’t about my curiosity anymore. I heard his voice when he spoke of her, I heard him say he’s feeling bad. I want to help him. He won’t let me.”
Evan ran a hand through his hair, looking like he would rather be anywhere but there with me at that very moment. “You can’t understand what our mom was like, Sam.”
“Then help me understand. He won’t tell me anything, Evan. I just want to be there for him.”
There was a long pause before he finally spoke. “If this was any other subject, I’d tell you to go to Jared, I wouldn’t get involved. But this is a sore subject for him. I’m pretty sure he’d have told you eventually, but not now. And now is when he needs to talk about it, whether he likes it or not.”
He led me over to one of the large circular tables, taking the seat opposite me. He then took a long, preparatory breath before starting. “Our mother…She wasn’t a mom to Jared, Sam. To understand why, you have to understand what she was like. Ever met a narcissist before? I mean a true narcissist.”
“No.”
He smiled sadly. “That’s the thing, you probably have; you just hadn’t known it. Narcissists have two faces. They’re one person in public, but a completely different person behind closed doors. Of course, no one other than the people living behind those doors with them will have any inkling there is more than one side to them.
“Lorna Michaels was totally obsessed with herself, had a sense of entitlement, couldn’t empathise with another person, used and manipulated everyone around her. Her needs always came first. In some ways, she was like a spoilt child. And the vanity…she was so superficial; all about looks and appearances.”
When he hesitated to continue, I knew he was debating whether to send me to Jared. “Please, Evan. I need to know.”
Sighing, he nodded. “Because she was so nice to everyone else, they all thought she was amazing; a regular martyr who would do anything for anybody. Some kids even used to say that they wished they had my mom. They didn’t know about the outbursts, the emotional abuse, or the physical abuse. But we did. Or, more specifically, Jared did, because it was only really him who suffered from it. Occasionally I was the focus of an outburst, but that was only if I’d tried to defend Jared or disobey her. Lorna Michaels had to be obeyed, and that was that.”
Sam simply looked at him with pity. “Aw, Rowan, didn’t anyone ever tell you that in order to be a smartarse, you need to be smart? If you’re not, it just makes you an arse.”
Even Ricardo laughed at that.
“I could tell you that I was raised by parents who were addicted to crack. I could tell you that I sampled the stuff myself at a very early age. I could also tell you that I’d had a boyfriend who was not only a drug dealer, but a pimp – my pimp. But that would merely be telling you what you want to hear. You want reasons to disapprove of me. The truth of my childhood is, in fact, quite different. Not great, but nothing like that. But, see, I don’t have to explain myself to any of you, and I won’t. I don’t crave the respect of people that I have no respect for.”
Marcia crossed her arms over her chest. “You cannot expect us to respect someone who dislikes us so very much.”
“In all honesty,” began Sam, cocking her head. “I don’t dislike any of you, you just piss me off. Still, you’re entitled to your opinions, and you’re clearly full of them. But like it or not, I’m going to Bind with Jared, and I’m going to one day be responsible for your protection.” She leaned forward, whispering, “So you might want to be nice to me, because I have a vengeful streak.”
Smiling, I kissed her temple. “I can vouch for that. I’ve been on the receiving end of it more than once.”
“You’re right about one thing, though,” Sam told Rowan. “I have ended up a little like my parents. A workaholic. Yes, my parents actually have jobs. In fact, they run their own business. It’s a small business and it doesn’t do very well, but they work hard for a living. What do all of you do again? Oh yeah. Absolutely nothing.”
It was at that moment that the waiter brought over the first course, effectively ending that conversation. I had noticed that Ricardo, Rowan, and Marcia appeared to be looking at Sam a little differently, as if considering her through fresh eyes. The problem was that even if they grew to like her, they wouldn’t fully accept her until they were confident that she could protect them. Thankfully they didn’t know that, at the present moment, she couldn’t properly protect herself, let alone others.
In spite of the awkwardness at the table, conversation came easy and no more insults were exchanged. In fact, the mood even improved when Harvey brought over his smartphone to show his snaps of the paintballing games – I tried to snatch it before anyone saw the ones of me wearing that damn mankini, but Harvey had too good a grip on it.
Of course Magda had to try to ruin the good mood, didn’t she?
Standing behind Marcia’s chair, Magda greeted everyone individually, leaving Sam until last. “Good evening. Enjoying your meal?” Her expression said that she sincerely hoped that the answer was no.
Sam fiddled with the chopstick in her hand. “Still a bit sour that everyone turned on you at the end of paintballing? Karma doesn’t taste all that nice, does it?”
I could understand why Magda snarled at the comment. Just the memory of her standing there, squealing, while a seemingly endless amount of paint pellets showered her…Ah, good times.
“That behaviour was uncall—”
“Oh Magda, Magda, Magda,” began Sam. “We all know that you’re only over here to insult me because you want Jared and you’re jealous – it’s old news. So why not just run along and nobody gets hurt. Okay?”
“You may think that you are clever, Sam. But all I see is an insecure, green-eyed, bitter, hot-headed individual.” Madga’s self-satisfied grin faded when Sam simply shrugged. I had to admit, I was surprised by her composure too.
“At least I don’t have a chopstick sticking out of my eye.” And then she lunged across the table, chopstick in hand. Yep, that was more like my Sam. If Magda hadn’t scampered so fast, she would have ended up in sheer agony. God, I loved this woman.
(Sam)
Taking some time to calm down after Magda’s little jibe, I’d gone out onto the empty veranda. I was actually enjoying the solitude, which was new for me. That peace and quiet didn’t last long, though. Hearing footsteps approach, I swivelled my head to see none other than Ricardo. “Hello there, Rick. Lovely night, isn’t it?”
A muscle in his jaw ticked. “My name is Ricardo.”
“Right, that’s what I said.”
“You are very rude.” He didn’t actually sound that annoyed about it.
“And you’re looking for reasons not to like or approve of me.”
“You’re a Sventé. That is reason enough.”
“It’s reason enough for you to worry that I might not be able to guarantee you’re protected,” I granted, “but it doesn’t give you reason to insult me. And you know it.”
His gaze skidded away, almost as if he was slightly ashamed of that. Nah. “Perhaps if you and Jared had been truly devoted to one another, I could accept you. But I know the truth of things. I know that you both sleep with others.”
“Let me guess who told you that…The tribute to Jessica Rabbit. Am I right?”
He peered down at me, frowning. “Yes.”
“It didn’t occur to you that she just might be talking tripe to cause problems?”
“I will admit that jealousy does funny things to people, but surely she would be too protective of one of her vampires to cause him any pain.”
I snickered. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But no. The fact is that Jared would never be unfaithful to me. That bloke is loyal to a fault. But, of course, you already know that. You simply want to justify your behaviour. And you need to justify it to those Master Vampires over there who you Sired, don’t you? You need to keep supplying them with reasons not to accept me.”
He stiffened. “My vampires will always follow me.”
“In the past they have, yeah. But you know as well as I do that they will only continue to do that if you continue being someone they respect. Refusing to give your approval to Antonio’s Heir…That’s not exactly admirable behaviour, Rick.”
He inhaled deeply, as if seeking for calm. “It is Ricardo. And as you said, I am entitled to my opinion.”
“Yes, you are. But it would be wise of you to keep that opinion to yourself and to allow them to decide for themselves what they want to do. They’ve been obedient so far, but they’re not a flock of sheep, they’re people with their own minds. This is a very delicate and important matter. Many of them respect Antonio and Jared. I doubt that they’ll want to offend them by leaving before the ceremony. That is what you have every intention of doing, isn’t it?”
He studied me through narrowed eyes. “You are very perceptive.”
“I’m not going to tell anyone about your plan to leave, if that’s what you’re wondering. To be frank, I couldn’t care less if you scuttle off in the day when everyone’s asleep, or whether you dance a bloody jig after the ceremony is done. But you should have a long think before you ask your entire bloodline to leave with you. Yep, they have you to protect them. But what if something happened to you in the future, what then?” I rose from my chair. “I know what it’s like to have no one to turn to. Don’t put them through that.” Then I left him standing there alone, hoping he made the right choice.
Instinctively, I made my way to Jared, who was in a corner with his twin. On hearing Evan’s words, I halted a footstep away.
“I went. To the funeral, I mean.”
As the twins had their backs to me, I stayed where I was, hoping to hear more before Jared sensed me.
“I knew what you meant.” Jared’s tone was flat, lifeless.
“But then I asked myself what the hell I was doing there, and I came straight back.”
Jared frowned at him. “You had every reason and right to go.”
“No. No, I didn’t. How could I pay my respects to someone that I didn’t respect? I don’t like the way people think that we’re supposed to love our parents simply because they’re our parents. If they didn’t live up to their end of the deal, why should we live up to ours?”
“She was good to you.” I’d never heard Jared’s voice sound so small before. He almost seemed…lost – a total first for him. It made my chest ache.
“Not for the right reasons, but it took me a while to see that.” Evan shook his head. “I honestly don’t know how you can’t hate me just a little.”
Jared chuckled, though there didn’t seem much humour in it. “That was one thing she never succeeding in doing, wasn’t it? Causing a divide between me and you proved too much, even for her.”
“I know how you think, so I’m pretty sure you’ve felt bad that you didn’t go to the funeral. Yes, she was our mother, but she didn’t act like one. What I’m trying to say is that you aren’t harsh for not going. I just want you to know that.”
“I don’t feel bad for not going. I feel bad that I don’t feel bad…if that even makes sense.”
“Don’t feel bad. You shouldn’t. She doesn’t deserve the satisfaction. She’ll be looking up at this, laughing in delight, so stop.”
When Jared raised a brow questioningly, his twin shrugged.
“Yeah, she was good to me,” he allowed, “but she’s burning in hell for sure.” Both then chuckled, and turned. When Jared’s eyes landed on me, they instantly narrowed. I could tell by his expression that he knew I’d been eavesdropping, and he wasn’t happy about it.
Evan smiled widely. “Hey there, calmed down yet?”
“No. That’s why I still have this.” I held up the chopstick.
“The look on Magda’s face when you dived at her…Priceless.” A nudge from one of the Master Vampires made Evan turn.
As I looked up at my fiancé, I sighed. “You’re never going to tell me about your mother, are you?” I’d heard the strain in his voice, sensed the pain and anger he felt at merely thinking about her.
Jared’s face hardened. “I’ve said I will, and I will. Just not until after the Binding.”
“But when after the Binding? A month later, a year later, ten?”
“Sam, I told you—” He stopped on hearing Antonio call his name. “I’ll be back in a minute.” But we both knew he wouldn’t.
Laughing, Evan turned away from the vampire and double-blinked at the empty space beside him. “Where’d he go?”
“Do you mean physically or mentally?”
Evan’s expression morphed into one of concern. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s shutting me out again, the bastard.” There was no venom in my voice because a part of me felt sorry for him. But apparently there was enough frustration that Evan decided to subtly lead me out of the room and into the ballroom adjacent to it.
The second the door was closed, he pressed, “What do you mean, shutting you out? Don’t tell me you guys are letting Magda get to you. I really thought you were both coping pretty well with that.”
“We are. Sort of. But that’s not what this is about anyway.”
“Then, what?”
“Answer me something. Is it a lot to ask him to talk to me about your mother, about why he wouldn’t go to the funeral? If it truly is, I’ll let this go. For now. But if it’s not, tell me so that I can kick him up the arse and make him tell me. This isn’t about my curiosity anymore. I heard his voice when he spoke of her, I heard him say he’s feeling bad. I want to help him. He won’t let me.”
Evan ran a hand through his hair, looking like he would rather be anywhere but there with me at that very moment. “You can’t understand what our mom was like, Sam.”
“Then help me understand. He won’t tell me anything, Evan. I just want to be there for him.”
There was a long pause before he finally spoke. “If this was any other subject, I’d tell you to go to Jared, I wouldn’t get involved. But this is a sore subject for him. I’m pretty sure he’d have told you eventually, but not now. And now is when he needs to talk about it, whether he likes it or not.”
He led me over to one of the large circular tables, taking the seat opposite me. He then took a long, preparatory breath before starting. “Our mother…She wasn’t a mom to Jared, Sam. To understand why, you have to understand what she was like. Ever met a narcissist before? I mean a true narcissist.”
“No.”
He smiled sadly. “That’s the thing, you probably have; you just hadn’t known it. Narcissists have two faces. They’re one person in public, but a completely different person behind closed doors. Of course, no one other than the people living behind those doors with them will have any inkling there is more than one side to them.
“Lorna Michaels was totally obsessed with herself, had a sense of entitlement, couldn’t empathise with another person, used and manipulated everyone around her. Her needs always came first. In some ways, she was like a spoilt child. And the vanity…she was so superficial; all about looks and appearances.”
When he hesitated to continue, I knew he was debating whether to send me to Jared. “Please, Evan. I need to know.”
Sighing, he nodded. “Because she was so nice to everyone else, they all thought she was amazing; a regular martyr who would do anything for anybody. Some kids even used to say that they wished they had my mom. They didn’t know about the outbursts, the emotional abuse, or the physical abuse. But we did. Or, more specifically, Jared did, because it was only really him who suffered from it. Occasionally I was the focus of an outburst, but that was only if I’d tried to defend Jared or disobey her. Lorna Michaels had to be obeyed, and that was that.”
