The Cad and the Co-Ed
Page 105
“Bryan has something he’d like to tell you,” she said in a gentle voice.
Patrick’s big, expectant eyes met mine and my throat ran dry. Of course I’d choose this exact moment to forget how to speak. I’d never felt so jittery. Not even when I was coming off alcohol. Cold turkey had nothing on this.
“You . . .” I paused, and cleared my throat. “You know how your mates Jack and Harry sometimes get picked up from school by their dad?”
Patrick nodded. “His name’s Carl. He drives a tractor.”
“Yes, that’s because he owns a farm.”
“I’d like to drive a tractor someday. Do you think Carl would let us borrow his?”
I chuckled, unable to keep up with how his mind jumped from one subject to the next. “We’ll see. But first, how would you like me to pick you up from school some days?”
“Like Jack and Harry’s dad?”
“Yes, just like Jack and Harry’s dad.”
I glanced at Eilish. She made a “keep going” gesture, and I knew I was beating around the bush. It was hard to pick the right words.
Patrick fiddled with my collar some more. “Okay. Could we go for ice cream afterward?”
“Maybe.”
Patrick’s expression turned stern, disappointed. I relented. “Okay, but only on Fridays.”
I heard Eilish exhale a long, exasperated breath. At this rate it’d be Easter before I actually got around to telling him. She shifted closer and lifted Patrick so he was sitting half on her lap and half on mine. I brought my arm to rest around her shoulders and squeezed while she gave Patrick a kind, motherly expression.
“How would you like it if Bryan was your daddy, just like Carl is Jack and Harry’s daddy?” she asked softly, and Patrick’s eyes went huge.
“But . . . how can he just become my daddy?”
“Well,” Eilish started, then hesitated.
“I can because I am your dad,” I said, my voice uncharacteristically croaky. “I’ve always been your dad.”
He furrowed his small brows, confused. “You have?”
I swallowed and took his hand in mine. I couldn’t get over how tiny he was. If he took after Eilish and me, he was going to be as tall as a house when he got older. I mustered a smile. “Yeah. It just took me a while to find my way back to you.”
He went quiet while Eilish emitted an odd watery sound. I knew she had to be feeling just as emotional as I was. Patrick stayed quiet for a long few moments, his brain working overtime to make sense of what he was being told.
At last he said, “Is that why we have the same hair?”
And just like that my nerves evaporated. I let out a scratchy laugh and answered, “Yeah, buddy, that’s why we have the same hair.”
“Not to mention the same eyes,” Eilish put in.
Patrick went back to mulling things over. I rubbed my thumb over the inside of his soft palm and asked, “What do you think, buddy?”
I was surprised and disappointed when his mouth dipped down in a frown.
“B-b-but you’re my best friend,” he exclaimed. “You can’t be my daddy and my best friend, can you?”
What was that sound, I hear you ask? Just my heart cracking in two. No big deal. His earnestness really did a number on me.
“Yes, I can definitely be your dad and your best friend,” I answered, choking up a little. Okay, choking up a lot.
Patrick started bopping up and down in our laps excitedly as his smile returned. “Then yes! I want you to be my daddy. This is awesome!”
Eilish chuckled, at the same time moisture filled her eyes. “Hey! I thought I was your best friend.”
Patrick made a face like the idea was preposterous, and I couldn’t help chuckling. This kid really was too much sometimes.
“Does this mean you’ll come to Disneyland with us?” he asked, looking back at me now.
“I only said maybe,” Eilish reminded him.
“And I said I’d be good. That means we’re going.”
Eilish sniffled and laughed, shooting me a dry look to cover her emotion. “He gets that from you.”
I plastered on an innocent expression. “What?”
“The brazenness. I can’t imagine what he’ll be like in a few years’ time.”
I tightened my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Oh, whatever. You love it.”
“See?” said Eilish. “Brazen.”
I flashed her a confident smile, not arguing. We stared at each other over Patrick’s head, and I didn’t think I’d ever loved anyone as much as I loved the two people sitting in my arms. They were my whole world. I knew they always would be.
“Can I go play with my Legos again?” Patrick asked, looking up at me with wide, guileless eyes.
“Yeah, go play. But I’m here if you need to talk or have any more questions.”
He started sliding off our laps and when he casually replied, “Thanks, Daddy,” I welled up all over again. This day was determined to see me bawling like a baby. It just felt bizarre to have imagined so many nightmare scenarios and then have him take it all in his stride. But he was young. I guess the world was much simpler when all you had to worry about were your friends at school and catching Pokémon.
I glanced back at Eilish, who was staring at Patrick now, her eyes just as watery as mine.
I wrapped both my arms around her, pulled her to my chest, and gave her another squeeze. “We’re such a pair of wusses,” I said with a gruff breath.
Patrick’s big, expectant eyes met mine and my throat ran dry. Of course I’d choose this exact moment to forget how to speak. I’d never felt so jittery. Not even when I was coming off alcohol. Cold turkey had nothing on this.
“You . . .” I paused, and cleared my throat. “You know how your mates Jack and Harry sometimes get picked up from school by their dad?”
Patrick nodded. “His name’s Carl. He drives a tractor.”
“Yes, that’s because he owns a farm.”
“I’d like to drive a tractor someday. Do you think Carl would let us borrow his?”
I chuckled, unable to keep up with how his mind jumped from one subject to the next. “We’ll see. But first, how would you like me to pick you up from school some days?”
“Like Jack and Harry’s dad?”
“Yes, just like Jack and Harry’s dad.”
I glanced at Eilish. She made a “keep going” gesture, and I knew I was beating around the bush. It was hard to pick the right words.
Patrick fiddled with my collar some more. “Okay. Could we go for ice cream afterward?”
“Maybe.”
Patrick’s expression turned stern, disappointed. I relented. “Okay, but only on Fridays.”
I heard Eilish exhale a long, exasperated breath. At this rate it’d be Easter before I actually got around to telling him. She shifted closer and lifted Patrick so he was sitting half on her lap and half on mine. I brought my arm to rest around her shoulders and squeezed while she gave Patrick a kind, motherly expression.
“How would you like it if Bryan was your daddy, just like Carl is Jack and Harry’s daddy?” she asked softly, and Patrick’s eyes went huge.
“But . . . how can he just become my daddy?”
“Well,” Eilish started, then hesitated.
“I can because I am your dad,” I said, my voice uncharacteristically croaky. “I’ve always been your dad.”
He furrowed his small brows, confused. “You have?”
I swallowed and took his hand in mine. I couldn’t get over how tiny he was. If he took after Eilish and me, he was going to be as tall as a house when he got older. I mustered a smile. “Yeah. It just took me a while to find my way back to you.”
He went quiet while Eilish emitted an odd watery sound. I knew she had to be feeling just as emotional as I was. Patrick stayed quiet for a long few moments, his brain working overtime to make sense of what he was being told.
At last he said, “Is that why we have the same hair?”
And just like that my nerves evaporated. I let out a scratchy laugh and answered, “Yeah, buddy, that’s why we have the same hair.”
“Not to mention the same eyes,” Eilish put in.
Patrick went back to mulling things over. I rubbed my thumb over the inside of his soft palm and asked, “What do you think, buddy?”
I was surprised and disappointed when his mouth dipped down in a frown.
“B-b-but you’re my best friend,” he exclaimed. “You can’t be my daddy and my best friend, can you?”
What was that sound, I hear you ask? Just my heart cracking in two. No big deal. His earnestness really did a number on me.
“Yes, I can definitely be your dad and your best friend,” I answered, choking up a little. Okay, choking up a lot.
Patrick started bopping up and down in our laps excitedly as his smile returned. “Then yes! I want you to be my daddy. This is awesome!”
Eilish chuckled, at the same time moisture filled her eyes. “Hey! I thought I was your best friend.”
Patrick made a face like the idea was preposterous, and I couldn’t help chuckling. This kid really was too much sometimes.
“Does this mean you’ll come to Disneyland with us?” he asked, looking back at me now.
“I only said maybe,” Eilish reminded him.
“And I said I’d be good. That means we’re going.”
Eilish sniffled and laughed, shooting me a dry look to cover her emotion. “He gets that from you.”
I plastered on an innocent expression. “What?”
“The brazenness. I can’t imagine what he’ll be like in a few years’ time.”
I tightened my arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. “Oh, whatever. You love it.”
“See?” said Eilish. “Brazen.”
I flashed her a confident smile, not arguing. We stared at each other over Patrick’s head, and I didn’t think I’d ever loved anyone as much as I loved the two people sitting in my arms. They were my whole world. I knew they always would be.
“Can I go play with my Legos again?” Patrick asked, looking up at me with wide, guileless eyes.
“Yeah, go play. But I’m here if you need to talk or have any more questions.”
He started sliding off our laps and when he casually replied, “Thanks, Daddy,” I welled up all over again. This day was determined to see me bawling like a baby. It just felt bizarre to have imagined so many nightmare scenarios and then have him take it all in his stride. But he was young. I guess the world was much simpler when all you had to worry about were your friends at school and catching Pokémon.
I glanced back at Eilish, who was staring at Patrick now, her eyes just as watery as mine.
I wrapped both my arms around her, pulled her to my chest, and gave her another squeeze. “We’re such a pair of wusses,” I said with a gruff breath.
