The Cad and the Co-Ed
Page 70
“Are you really going to get our order? That’s amazing,” she enthused. “I’ve never been served by a professional athlete before.”
Behind her, I let my forehead fall into my hand, shaking my head, making a mental note to apologize to Bryan profusely.
“Two coffees then?” he asked lightly, being more than gracious by ignoring her loony behavior.
“Yes. Two coffees. Thank you,” I answered for both of us. He nodded once tightly, bolting for the line at the counter. I didn’t blame him for wanting to run—first my mother, now my friend.
Waiting until he was out of earshot, I tugged Josey on her arm and quietly demanded, “What is wrong with you?”
“What is wrong with me?” she asked, her rushed whisper echoing mine. “That’s Bryan Leech! You didn’t tell me he was coming. You didn’t give me time to prepare. I’m . . . overwhelmed by how sexy he is. And it’s everything; he’s just so everything. He’s like a vagina magnet. I mean, my vagina felt magnetized. He’s so tall.”
“Yes. I know. You commented on his height like three times.”
“Oh no, that was weird, right? I should apologize.”
“No. Don’t apologize, that will only make it worse. Just act normal. He’s just a man.”
“Just a man?” she repeated, as though I’d called him just an amoeba, offending her. “That, my friend, is not just a man. That is an orgasm guarantee. Every. Single. Time. Probably three or four times a day. I bet he doesn’t even have to go down on you first. He just looks at you and, BAM.”
“Oh my God, please stop talking.” My eyes flickered to where Bryan was standing—thank the Lord—now ordering, his back was to us. “You need to get control of yourself. You are a grown woman, please act like it.”
“I don’t know if I can.” She shook her head, her eyes wide with worry. “I’ve never met anyone like that, let alone been with someone like that. You know how horny I am. I’ve always been this way. It’s why I stopped waxing.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Waxing just makes it worse, it makes me lustier.”
Despite the situation, I laughed. “You are so crazy.”
“I have to leave,” she said resolutely. “I can’t handle that level of perfection.”
“He’s not perfect, Josey. Stop focusing on what he looks like.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. You don’t understand. You’ve always had this confidence in yourself, and you should. You’re so beautiful and tall and graceful. And smart. But you don’t know what it’s like for us mortals.” She backed up, shaking her head. “Next time warn me, okay? So I can take a Xanax? I’ve got to go.”
I tried to catch her arm, but she was quick, weaving through the tables lightning fast. I blinked at her back, too stunned at first to move, and then she was gone.
Chapter Nineteen
THEBryanLeech: Ever notice how pineapples are made of neither pine nor apples? #mindboggled
ECassChoosesPikachu to THEBryanLeech: So I come check out your feed and this is what I find. Riveting stuff.
THEBryanLeech to ECassChoosesPikachu: I’m riveting enough in other areas, love. xxx
*Bryan*
I was covered in sweat after an early morning training session. The boys were bantering as we headed inside to shower, and I grinned at their antics. Put a bunch of grown men together and no matter their ages or maturity, the topic will inevitably fall to the lowest common denominator.
“Under boob wins over side boob. Hands down,” said Doyle.
“No way, side boob is so much better.” This was Fitzpatrick. Course it was. I could tell by the smirk on his face he was disagreeing purely to rile Doyle. The man took his under boob way too seriously.
“What about good old fashioned top boob?” I put in. “Ya can’t beat a bit of classic cleavage.”
“Nope. Under boob is still the best,” Doyle stood firm. “It’s got the most heft.”
Will’s face at Doyle’s use of the word “heft” to describe the female anatomy was comical. He looked like he was thinking about it way too hard.
“You’re the under boob of society, Doyle. Of course you’re going to favor it,” Cassidy interjected, taking some fancy lip balm out of his pocket and applying it to his lips. I never really paid much attention to my appearance, not like Sean. That guy had one locker for his uniform and one for his abundance of lotions.
But I decided tonight would be different. I wanted to look good for our date. More than that, I wanted Eilish to feel like I was good enough for her. I wanted her to feel proud to stand beside me when we went out.
Sean continued, “I myself have always harbored a fondness for large conservative matron boobs. Give me Pam Ferris in a low-cut blouse and I’ll be a very happy man.”
Fitzpatrick chuckled. “I thought Doyle had issues, but you take the cake. Does my sister know about this secret fantasy?”
Cassidy smiled with teeth. “Why, of course she does. Your sister is well aware of all my sexual appetites, explicitly aware.”
That wiped the grin right off Ronan’s face as he shot Cassidy a disgruntled scowl.
“Hey, you dug your own hole with that one,” I said, casting him a look that said what did you expect?
We were inside now, heading toward the showers when I caught sight of Eilish. She was just finishing what appeared to be a heated conversation with Connors, and my protective instincts kicked in. Cassidy noticed the same thing, but as soon as he saw the look on my face and my determined stride, he stepped back and let me handle it.
Behind her, I let my forehead fall into my hand, shaking my head, making a mental note to apologize to Bryan profusely.
“Two coffees then?” he asked lightly, being more than gracious by ignoring her loony behavior.
“Yes. Two coffees. Thank you,” I answered for both of us. He nodded once tightly, bolting for the line at the counter. I didn’t blame him for wanting to run—first my mother, now my friend.
Waiting until he was out of earshot, I tugged Josey on her arm and quietly demanded, “What is wrong with you?”
“What is wrong with me?” she asked, her rushed whisper echoing mine. “That’s Bryan Leech! You didn’t tell me he was coming. You didn’t give me time to prepare. I’m . . . overwhelmed by how sexy he is. And it’s everything; he’s just so everything. He’s like a vagina magnet. I mean, my vagina felt magnetized. He’s so tall.”
“Yes. I know. You commented on his height like three times.”
“Oh no, that was weird, right? I should apologize.”
“No. Don’t apologize, that will only make it worse. Just act normal. He’s just a man.”
“Just a man?” she repeated, as though I’d called him just an amoeba, offending her. “That, my friend, is not just a man. That is an orgasm guarantee. Every. Single. Time. Probably three or four times a day. I bet he doesn’t even have to go down on you first. He just looks at you and, BAM.”
“Oh my God, please stop talking.” My eyes flickered to where Bryan was standing—thank the Lord—now ordering, his back was to us. “You need to get control of yourself. You are a grown woman, please act like it.”
“I don’t know if I can.” She shook her head, her eyes wide with worry. “I’ve never met anyone like that, let alone been with someone like that. You know how horny I am. I’ve always been this way. It’s why I stopped waxing.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Waxing just makes it worse, it makes me lustier.”
Despite the situation, I laughed. “You are so crazy.”
“I have to leave,” she said resolutely. “I can’t handle that level of perfection.”
“He’s not perfect, Josey. Stop focusing on what he looks like.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. You don’t understand. You’ve always had this confidence in yourself, and you should. You’re so beautiful and tall and graceful. And smart. But you don’t know what it’s like for us mortals.” She backed up, shaking her head. “Next time warn me, okay? So I can take a Xanax? I’ve got to go.”
I tried to catch her arm, but she was quick, weaving through the tables lightning fast. I blinked at her back, too stunned at first to move, and then she was gone.
Chapter Nineteen
THEBryanLeech: Ever notice how pineapples are made of neither pine nor apples? #mindboggled
ECassChoosesPikachu to THEBryanLeech: So I come check out your feed and this is what I find. Riveting stuff.
THEBryanLeech to ECassChoosesPikachu: I’m riveting enough in other areas, love. xxx
*Bryan*
I was covered in sweat after an early morning training session. The boys were bantering as we headed inside to shower, and I grinned at their antics. Put a bunch of grown men together and no matter their ages or maturity, the topic will inevitably fall to the lowest common denominator.
“Under boob wins over side boob. Hands down,” said Doyle.
“No way, side boob is so much better.” This was Fitzpatrick. Course it was. I could tell by the smirk on his face he was disagreeing purely to rile Doyle. The man took his under boob way too seriously.
“What about good old fashioned top boob?” I put in. “Ya can’t beat a bit of classic cleavage.”
“Nope. Under boob is still the best,” Doyle stood firm. “It’s got the most heft.”
Will’s face at Doyle’s use of the word “heft” to describe the female anatomy was comical. He looked like he was thinking about it way too hard.
“You’re the under boob of society, Doyle. Of course you’re going to favor it,” Cassidy interjected, taking some fancy lip balm out of his pocket and applying it to his lips. I never really paid much attention to my appearance, not like Sean. That guy had one locker for his uniform and one for his abundance of lotions.
But I decided tonight would be different. I wanted to look good for our date. More than that, I wanted Eilish to feel like I was good enough for her. I wanted her to feel proud to stand beside me when we went out.
Sean continued, “I myself have always harbored a fondness for large conservative matron boobs. Give me Pam Ferris in a low-cut blouse and I’ll be a very happy man.”
Fitzpatrick chuckled. “I thought Doyle had issues, but you take the cake. Does my sister know about this secret fantasy?”
Cassidy smiled with teeth. “Why, of course she does. Your sister is well aware of all my sexual appetites, explicitly aware.”
That wiped the grin right off Ronan’s face as he shot Cassidy a disgruntled scowl.
“Hey, you dug your own hole with that one,” I said, casting him a look that said what did you expect?
We were inside now, heading toward the showers when I caught sight of Eilish. She was just finishing what appeared to be a heated conversation with Connors, and my protective instincts kicked in. Cassidy noticed the same thing, but as soon as he saw the look on my face and my determined stride, he stepped back and let me handle it.
