The City of Mirrors
Page 177
“Absolutely I do.”
She turned to look at him. For a moment she studied his face, her blue eyes slightly squinted. “You’re always thinking of me, aren’t you, Mr. Carter? You always know just the thing to say. I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend like you.”
“Oh, I expect you have.”
“Oh, please. I have people, sure. Lots of people in Rachel Wood’s life. But never anyone who understands me the way you do.” She looked at him kindly. “But you and me. We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
“I’d say we are, Mrs. Wood.”
“Now, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. It’s Rachel.”
He nodded. “Anthony, then.”
Her face opened as if she’d discovered something. “Rachel and Anthony! We’re like two characters in a movie.”
He held out a hand. “Why don’t you come on now, Rachel? It’ll all be fine, you’ll see.”
Accepting his hand for balance, she exited the car. By the open door she paused with great deliberateness and filled her lungs with air.
“Now, that’s a wonderful smell,” she said. “What is that?”
“Cut the lawn just now. I suspect that’s it.”
“Of course. Now I remember.” She smiled with satisfaction. “How long has it been since I smelled new-mown grass? Smelled anything, for that matter.”
“Garden’s waiting on you. Lots of good smells there.”
He made a circle with his arm; Rachel let him lead the way. The shadows were stretching over the ground; evening was about to fall. He steered her to the gate, where she came to a stop.
“Do you know how you make me feel, Anthony? I’ve been trying to think how to say it.”
“How’s that?”
“You make me feel seen. Like I was invisible until you came along. Does that sound crazy? Probably it does.”
“Not to me,” said Carter.
“I think I sensed it right away, that morning under the overpass. Do you remember?” A feeling of distance came into her eyes. “It was all so upsetting. Everyone honking and yelling and you there with your sign. ‘HUNGRY, ANYTHING WILL HELP. GOD BLESS YOU.’ I thought, that man means something. He’s not just there by accident. That man’s come into my life for a purpose.”
Carter opened the latch; they stepped through. She was still clutching his arm, the two of them like a couple walking down the aisle. Her steps were solemn and measured; it was as if each one required a separate act of will.
“Now, Anthony, this really is lovely.”
They were standing by the pool. The water was perfectly still and very blue. Around them, the yard made an effulgent display of color and life.
“Honestly, I can hardly believe my eyes. After all this time. You must have worked so hard.”
“Wasn’t any trouble. I had some help, too.”
Rachel looked at him. “Really? Who was that?”
“Woman I know. Named Amy.”
Rachel pondered this. “Now,” she declared, raising a finger to her lips, “I believe I met an Amy not too long ago. I believe I gave her a lift. About so tall, with dark hair?”
Carter nodded.
“A very sweet girl. And what skin. Absolutely glorious skin.” She smiled suddenly. “And what have we here?”
Her eyes had fallen on the cosmos. She separated from him and walked across the lawn to the beds, Carter following.
“These are just beautiful, Anthony.”
She knelt before the flowers. Carter had planted two shades of pink: the first a deep solid, the second softer with green flares, on long, tippy stems.
“May I, Anthony?”
“You go on and do as you like. Planted them for you.”
She selected one of the deeper pink and pinched off the stem. Holding it between thumb and forefinger, she rotated it slowly, breathing softly through her nose.
“Do you know what the name means?” she asked.
“Can’t say I do.”
“It’s from the Greek. It means ‘balanced universe.’ ” She rocked back onto her heels. “It’s funny, I have no idea how I know that. Probably I learned it in school.”
A quiet passed.
“Haley loves these.” Rachel was looking at the flower, gazing at it as if it were a talisman or the key to a door she couldn’t quite unlock.
“That she does,” Carter answered.
“Always putting them in her hair. Her sister’s, too.”
“Miss Riley. Cute as a bug, that one.”
A soft night was coming on between the branches of the trees. Rachel pointed her face to the sky.
“I have so many memories, Anthony. Sometimes it’s all so hard to sort out.”
“Things will come to you,” he assured her.
“I remember the pool.”
It was happening. Carter crouched beside her.
“That morning, how terrible everything was. The air so raw.” She took a long, mournful breath. “I was so sad. So incredibly sad. Like a great black ocean and there you are, floating in it, drifting, no land anywhere, nothing to want or hope for. It’s just you and the water and the darkness and you know it will always be like that, forever and ever.”
She fell silent, lost in these old, troubled thoughts. The air had cooled; the lights of the city, coming on, reflected off the cloud deck, making a pale glow. Then:
She turned to look at him. For a moment she studied his face, her blue eyes slightly squinted. “You’re always thinking of me, aren’t you, Mr. Carter? You always know just the thing to say. I don’t think I’ve ever had a friend like you.”
“Oh, I expect you have.”
“Oh, please. I have people, sure. Lots of people in Rachel Wood’s life. But never anyone who understands me the way you do.” She looked at him kindly. “But you and me. We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”
“I’d say we are, Mrs. Wood.”
“Now, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. It’s Rachel.”
He nodded. “Anthony, then.”
Her face opened as if she’d discovered something. “Rachel and Anthony! We’re like two characters in a movie.”
He held out a hand. “Why don’t you come on now, Rachel? It’ll all be fine, you’ll see.”
Accepting his hand for balance, she exited the car. By the open door she paused with great deliberateness and filled her lungs with air.
“Now, that’s a wonderful smell,” she said. “What is that?”
“Cut the lawn just now. I suspect that’s it.”
“Of course. Now I remember.” She smiled with satisfaction. “How long has it been since I smelled new-mown grass? Smelled anything, for that matter.”
“Garden’s waiting on you. Lots of good smells there.”
He made a circle with his arm; Rachel let him lead the way. The shadows were stretching over the ground; evening was about to fall. He steered her to the gate, where she came to a stop.
“Do you know how you make me feel, Anthony? I’ve been trying to think how to say it.”
“How’s that?”
“You make me feel seen. Like I was invisible until you came along. Does that sound crazy? Probably it does.”
“Not to me,” said Carter.
“I think I sensed it right away, that morning under the overpass. Do you remember?” A feeling of distance came into her eyes. “It was all so upsetting. Everyone honking and yelling and you there with your sign. ‘HUNGRY, ANYTHING WILL HELP. GOD BLESS YOU.’ I thought, that man means something. He’s not just there by accident. That man’s come into my life for a purpose.”
Carter opened the latch; they stepped through. She was still clutching his arm, the two of them like a couple walking down the aisle. Her steps were solemn and measured; it was as if each one required a separate act of will.
“Now, Anthony, this really is lovely.”
They were standing by the pool. The water was perfectly still and very blue. Around them, the yard made an effulgent display of color and life.
“Honestly, I can hardly believe my eyes. After all this time. You must have worked so hard.”
“Wasn’t any trouble. I had some help, too.”
Rachel looked at him. “Really? Who was that?”
“Woman I know. Named Amy.”
Rachel pondered this. “Now,” she declared, raising a finger to her lips, “I believe I met an Amy not too long ago. I believe I gave her a lift. About so tall, with dark hair?”
Carter nodded.
“A very sweet girl. And what skin. Absolutely glorious skin.” She smiled suddenly. “And what have we here?”
Her eyes had fallen on the cosmos. She separated from him and walked across the lawn to the beds, Carter following.
“These are just beautiful, Anthony.”
She knelt before the flowers. Carter had planted two shades of pink: the first a deep solid, the second softer with green flares, on long, tippy stems.
“May I, Anthony?”
“You go on and do as you like. Planted them for you.”
She selected one of the deeper pink and pinched off the stem. Holding it between thumb and forefinger, she rotated it slowly, breathing softly through her nose.
“Do you know what the name means?” she asked.
“Can’t say I do.”
“It’s from the Greek. It means ‘balanced universe.’ ” She rocked back onto her heels. “It’s funny, I have no idea how I know that. Probably I learned it in school.”
A quiet passed.
“Haley loves these.” Rachel was looking at the flower, gazing at it as if it were a talisman or the key to a door she couldn’t quite unlock.
“That she does,” Carter answered.
“Always putting them in her hair. Her sister’s, too.”
“Miss Riley. Cute as a bug, that one.”
A soft night was coming on between the branches of the trees. Rachel pointed her face to the sky.
“I have so many memories, Anthony. Sometimes it’s all so hard to sort out.”
“Things will come to you,” he assured her.
“I remember the pool.”
It was happening. Carter crouched beside her.
“That morning, how terrible everything was. The air so raw.” She took a long, mournful breath. “I was so sad. So incredibly sad. Like a great black ocean and there you are, floating in it, drifting, no land anywhere, nothing to want or hope for. It’s just you and the water and the darkness and you know it will always be like that, forever and ever.”
She fell silent, lost in these old, troubled thoughts. The air had cooled; the lights of the city, coming on, reflected off the cloud deck, making a pale glow. Then:
