The Dark Divine
Page 69
"Shut up!" I punched him in the shoulder.
"Ow."
"I'm sorry." I took his hands in mine. "I didn't do it to hurt you," I said, referring to that night in the parish. "I did it because I promised to save you."
"I know." He squeezed my hand. "And you did."
I looked at the bandage on his neck, the bruises down his jaw--the wounds he couldn't heal on his own anymore. I kissed a scrape on his hand. The smell of his dried blood didn't make me writhe like I thought it would.
"There's one thing I don't understand." I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Why didn't the wolf take me over when I stabbed you?"
Daniel turned my face toward his. He stared down into my eyes. His were so rich and deep, filled with his own personal light, not just a mere reflection like the moon. "Is that what you thought?
That you'd become a werewolf if you saved me?" His eyes glistened, but only from tears.
"Yes. I'd been bitten. The wolf was in me. I thought if I killed you--that would give it control. You said a predatory act would do it. ..."
"Grace." Daniel cupped my face. "What you did wasn't predatory. It was an act of love. It's why I'm still alive." He smiled. "I went to see Gabriel.
That's why I left the hospital. He came here to bring a moonstone for your brother, and I had to see him before he left. I needed to know why I lived. Gracie, Gabriel said that I am the first--the only--Urbat who has ever received the cure and lived. He said only the ultimate gift of love could have freed my soul... and granted me back my life." He kissed my cheek. "I understand now. You gave me that ultimate gift. You thought you would become a werewolf if you saved me, and you still did it. You were willing to trade yourself for me. There is no greater gift. ..." He leaned in to kiss my lips. I pulled away.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
"But the wolf is in me. My wounds healed so fast ... and I feel stronger. I feel like all I want to do is run." I bit my lip. "It will take me over someday. Doesn't it eventually take everyone?"
"No, Grace. Not everyone."
"But Gabriel, he wrote that people who were bitten turned faster. I mean, he was a monk, and he changed within a matter of days. How do I even stand a chance?"
"He was surrounded by the carnage of war. You're not. You're surrounded by people who love you. People who can keep you grounded."
"But Jude had those things, too. He was one of the best people I've ever known, but he turned so fast. I'm not nearly as good as him."
"Jude was good. But he let his fear and jealousy get to him." Daniel shrugged. "'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.'"
I raised an eyebrow and held back the urge to punch him in his injured arm.
"What?" Daniel held up his hands. "Like you weren't there when we watched the Star Wars movies fifty-three times that one summer."
"Fifty-four. Jude and I stayed up until two a.m. to finish Return of the Jedi after you fell asleep one night. I tried to make caramel popcorn and almost burned the house down. Jude took the blame for me..."
My voice cracked. It hurt so much to think about Jude the way he used to be. "I hope Jude knows that if he ... when he returns ... I'll be here for him."
"Then let that be your anchor," Daniel said. "Stay strong so you'll be Grace when he needs you." He brushed his fingers down my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "And you don't have to go through this alone. You have me." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.
"And you have this." He opened his hand and held out a jagged black rock. It was his moonstone pendant, broken in half.
I took it from him. It was warmer than the last time I touched it, pulsing with a power I'd never noticed before. It was hope.
"I thought I'd never find it in the snow," he said. "It's been a long time since I had to search for something without my abilities."
"Are you sure you want me to have this? It's yours."
"I don't need it anymore," he said, and tipped up my chin.
He kissed me softly on the lips, with warmth and love. Then his lips parted, and he kissed me in a way that was so complete--giving me everything he'd held back before. I melted into him, letting go, feeling as free and light as I did when we ran in the forest.
"So what do we do now?" I said as Daniel held me to his chest. He cleared his throat. "There are a lot of bad things out there. Things the Hounds of Heaven were created to destroy." He trailed his finger down the side of my face. "I can't be the hero you want me to be--at least not in that way. But you can, Grace. You don't have to become one of the dark ones. You can fight it. You can turn this curse into a blessing. You can become the hero. You can become truly divine."
"Ow."
"I'm sorry." I took his hands in mine. "I didn't do it to hurt you," I said, referring to that night in the parish. "I did it because I promised to save you."
"I know." He squeezed my hand. "And you did."
I looked at the bandage on his neck, the bruises down his jaw--the wounds he couldn't heal on his own anymore. I kissed a scrape on his hand. The smell of his dried blood didn't make me writhe like I thought it would.
"There's one thing I don't understand." I leaned my head against his shoulder. "Why didn't the wolf take me over when I stabbed you?"
Daniel turned my face toward his. He stared down into my eyes. His were so rich and deep, filled with his own personal light, not just a mere reflection like the moon. "Is that what you thought?
That you'd become a werewolf if you saved me?" His eyes glistened, but only from tears.
"Yes. I'd been bitten. The wolf was in me. I thought if I killed you--that would give it control. You said a predatory act would do it. ..."
"Grace." Daniel cupped my face. "What you did wasn't predatory. It was an act of love. It's why I'm still alive." He smiled. "I went to see Gabriel.
That's why I left the hospital. He came here to bring a moonstone for your brother, and I had to see him before he left. I needed to know why I lived. Gracie, Gabriel said that I am the first--the only--Urbat who has ever received the cure and lived. He said only the ultimate gift of love could have freed my soul... and granted me back my life." He kissed my cheek. "I understand now. You gave me that ultimate gift. You thought you would become a werewolf if you saved me, and you still did it. You were willing to trade yourself for me. There is no greater gift. ..." He leaned in to kiss my lips. I pulled away.
"What is it? What's wrong?"
"But the wolf is in me. My wounds healed so fast ... and I feel stronger. I feel like all I want to do is run." I bit my lip. "It will take me over someday. Doesn't it eventually take everyone?"
"No, Grace. Not everyone."
"But Gabriel, he wrote that people who were bitten turned faster. I mean, he was a monk, and he changed within a matter of days. How do I even stand a chance?"
"He was surrounded by the carnage of war. You're not. You're surrounded by people who love you. People who can keep you grounded."
"But Jude had those things, too. He was one of the best people I've ever known, but he turned so fast. I'm not nearly as good as him."
"Jude was good. But he let his fear and jealousy get to him." Daniel shrugged. "'Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to the dark side.'"
I raised an eyebrow and held back the urge to punch him in his injured arm.
"What?" Daniel held up his hands. "Like you weren't there when we watched the Star Wars movies fifty-three times that one summer."
"Fifty-four. Jude and I stayed up until two a.m. to finish Return of the Jedi after you fell asleep one night. I tried to make caramel popcorn and almost burned the house down. Jude took the blame for me..."
My voice cracked. It hurt so much to think about Jude the way he used to be. "I hope Jude knows that if he ... when he returns ... I'll be here for him."
"Then let that be your anchor," Daniel said. "Stay strong so you'll be Grace when he needs you." He brushed his fingers down my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "And you don't have to go through this alone. You have me." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled something out.
"And you have this." He opened his hand and held out a jagged black rock. It was his moonstone pendant, broken in half.
I took it from him. It was warmer than the last time I touched it, pulsing with a power I'd never noticed before. It was hope.
"I thought I'd never find it in the snow," he said. "It's been a long time since I had to search for something without my abilities."
"Are you sure you want me to have this? It's yours."
"I don't need it anymore," he said, and tipped up my chin.
He kissed me softly on the lips, with warmth and love. Then his lips parted, and he kissed me in a way that was so complete--giving me everything he'd held back before. I melted into him, letting go, feeling as free and light as I did when we ran in the forest.
"So what do we do now?" I said as Daniel held me to his chest. He cleared his throat. "There are a lot of bad things out there. Things the Hounds of Heaven were created to destroy." He trailed his finger down the side of my face. "I can't be the hero you want me to be--at least not in that way. But you can, Grace. You don't have to become one of the dark ones. You can fight it. You can turn this curse into a blessing. You can become the hero. You can become truly divine."
