The Darkest Minds
Page 111
Zu took a deep breath, walking over to him with her pink bag at her side. He tried to look away, but she was standing right in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck. All he could do was hug her back, his face hidden in the fabric of her jacket.
The camp’s bells began to ring, a frenzied sound that didn’t cease until it had driven everyone outside. I let Zu and Hina lead us, pushing a path through the gathered kids. This was the first time their black garb seemed remotely appropriate.
Kylie handed a piece of paper to Lee, and he nodded at whatever she was telling him. Lucy was next to them, as tiny and quiet as ever, but she reached up and patted Liam on the shoulder in what I guess was supposed to be a reassuring way. All happy pretenses were gone. The only way to describe the look on his face was stricken.
“—borrow that pen?” he asked Talon. The boy began to pat down his black cargo pants, searching the pockets until he came up with a blue-capped pen. With it in hand, Liam knelt down in front of Zu and tore off half the sheet of paper Kylie had given him.
I wished I could have seen what he had written there, but it wasn’t for my eyes. When he was finished, he folded the paper over several times and pressed it into her palm.
The bell fell silent. Everyone’s eyes shifted to the right, where Clancy appeared at the head of the path, Hayes towering beside him. His face, which I had grown used to seeing relaxed and proud, was pinched with what was either annoyance or anger.
“Kylie has decided to go tribal and will be leaving immediately.”
A murmur of surprise rippled through the crowd.
“She will only take these four with her,” he shouted over the noise. “There will be no more requests to leave granted until our numbers are full. Is that understood?”
Silence.
“Is that understood?”
Chubs jumped beside me at the noises and shouts confirming that, yes, it was.
Clancy turned sharply on his heel without another word, heading back in the direction of the office. As soon as he reached the white building, the kids around us seemed to exhale the collective breath they had been holding, turning to each other with confused whispers.
“That was weird.”
“Why didn’t he give them bags, like he usually does?”
“He’s worried if our numbers get down too low, there won’t be enough people here to protect the camp.”
My eyes floated up toward the office until they fixed on Zu waving me over.
No gloves, I thought, watching her hand fall back to her side. Hopefully never again.
“Do you really have to leave now?” I asked when I reached where she and Liam were standing. The clusters of kids swarmed Kylie and the others, wishing them good luck and offering up blankets and bags of food.
Zu put on a brave smile, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Please be safe,” I told her.
The next note was for me and me alone. When all this is over, will you come find me? There’s something I want to tell you, but I don’t know how to say it yet.
My eyes traced every inch of her face. It was so different from the girl I had met only a few weeks ago. If she had changed this much in so little time, how could I even be sure I’d recognize her years down the line, after the dust of all this hell finally settled?
“Of course,” I whispered. “And I’ll miss you every day until then.”
Just before they stepped off the trail and into the untamed forest, Zu turned and gave us one last wave. Beside her, Hina did the same. Then, they were gone.
“She’ll be okay,” I said. “They’ll take care of her. She should be with her family. Her real one.”
“She should be with us.” Liam shook his head, his breath catching in his throat.
“Then maybe we should follow her.”
Liam and I turned back. Chubs was trailing behind us, his eyes hidden as the drooping sunlight caught his glasses.
“You know we can’t,” Liam said. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” Chubs advanced toward us, his voice losing all semblance of calm it held before. Feeling the curious eyes on us, I drew them both off the main path.
“Why not?” Chubs repeated. “Clearly we aren’t going to get the help we need to track down our parents or Jack’s. It’d be better for us to just go now, before anyone misses us. We could still catch up with her.”
“And do what?” Liam asked. He ran a frustrated hand through his already mussed up hair. “Wander around until we just so happen to stumble on them? Hope that we don’t get our asses caught and thrown back into camp? Chubs, it’s safe here. This is the place we’re supposed to be—we can do so much good from here.”
I saw, maybe even before Liam did, that this was the wrong thing to say. Warning alarms went off in my mind at the sight of Chubs’s nostrils flaring and his lips twisting with anger. I knew that whatever was about to leave Chubs’s mouth would not only be sharp, but cruel.
“I get it—I get it, Lee, okay?” Chubs shook his head. “You want to be the big hero again. You want everyone to adore you and believe in you and follow you.”
Liam tensed. “That’s not—” he began, angrily.
“Well, what about the kids who followed you before?” He slapped around the pocket of his trousers before pulling out a familiar folded piece of paper. Chubs’s grip on the letter nearly crushed it. “What about Jack, and Brian, and Andy, and all of them? They all followed you, too, but it’s easy to forget about them when they’re not around, isn’t it?”
The camp’s bells began to ring, a frenzied sound that didn’t cease until it had driven everyone outside. I let Zu and Hina lead us, pushing a path through the gathered kids. This was the first time their black garb seemed remotely appropriate.
Kylie handed a piece of paper to Lee, and he nodded at whatever she was telling him. Lucy was next to them, as tiny and quiet as ever, but she reached up and patted Liam on the shoulder in what I guess was supposed to be a reassuring way. All happy pretenses were gone. The only way to describe the look on his face was stricken.
“—borrow that pen?” he asked Talon. The boy began to pat down his black cargo pants, searching the pockets until he came up with a blue-capped pen. With it in hand, Liam knelt down in front of Zu and tore off half the sheet of paper Kylie had given him.
I wished I could have seen what he had written there, but it wasn’t for my eyes. When he was finished, he folded the paper over several times and pressed it into her palm.
The bell fell silent. Everyone’s eyes shifted to the right, where Clancy appeared at the head of the path, Hayes towering beside him. His face, which I had grown used to seeing relaxed and proud, was pinched with what was either annoyance or anger.
“Kylie has decided to go tribal and will be leaving immediately.”
A murmur of surprise rippled through the crowd.
“She will only take these four with her,” he shouted over the noise. “There will be no more requests to leave granted until our numbers are full. Is that understood?”
Silence.
“Is that understood?”
Chubs jumped beside me at the noises and shouts confirming that, yes, it was.
Clancy turned sharply on his heel without another word, heading back in the direction of the office. As soon as he reached the white building, the kids around us seemed to exhale the collective breath they had been holding, turning to each other with confused whispers.
“That was weird.”
“Why didn’t he give them bags, like he usually does?”
“He’s worried if our numbers get down too low, there won’t be enough people here to protect the camp.”
My eyes floated up toward the office until they fixed on Zu waving me over.
No gloves, I thought, watching her hand fall back to her side. Hopefully never again.
“Do you really have to leave now?” I asked when I reached where she and Liam were standing. The clusters of kids swarmed Kylie and the others, wishing them good luck and offering up blankets and bags of food.
Zu put on a brave smile, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Please be safe,” I told her.
The next note was for me and me alone. When all this is over, will you come find me? There’s something I want to tell you, but I don’t know how to say it yet.
My eyes traced every inch of her face. It was so different from the girl I had met only a few weeks ago. If she had changed this much in so little time, how could I even be sure I’d recognize her years down the line, after the dust of all this hell finally settled?
“Of course,” I whispered. “And I’ll miss you every day until then.”
Just before they stepped off the trail and into the untamed forest, Zu turned and gave us one last wave. Beside her, Hina did the same. Then, they were gone.
“She’ll be okay,” I said. “They’ll take care of her. She should be with her family. Her real one.”
“She should be with us.” Liam shook his head, his breath catching in his throat.
“Then maybe we should follow her.”
Liam and I turned back. Chubs was trailing behind us, his eyes hidden as the drooping sunlight caught his glasses.
“You know we can’t,” Liam said. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” Chubs advanced toward us, his voice losing all semblance of calm it held before. Feeling the curious eyes on us, I drew them both off the main path.
“Why not?” Chubs repeated. “Clearly we aren’t going to get the help we need to track down our parents or Jack’s. It’d be better for us to just go now, before anyone misses us. We could still catch up with her.”
“And do what?” Liam asked. He ran a frustrated hand through his already mussed up hair. “Wander around until we just so happen to stumble on them? Hope that we don’t get our asses caught and thrown back into camp? Chubs, it’s safe here. This is the place we’re supposed to be—we can do so much good from here.”
I saw, maybe even before Liam did, that this was the wrong thing to say. Warning alarms went off in my mind at the sight of Chubs’s nostrils flaring and his lips twisting with anger. I knew that whatever was about to leave Chubs’s mouth would not only be sharp, but cruel.
“I get it—I get it, Lee, okay?” Chubs shook his head. “You want to be the big hero again. You want everyone to adore you and believe in you and follow you.”
Liam tensed. “That’s not—” he began, angrily.
“Well, what about the kids who followed you before?” He slapped around the pocket of his trousers before pulling out a familiar folded piece of paper. Chubs’s grip on the letter nearly crushed it. “What about Jack, and Brian, and Andy, and all of them? They all followed you, too, but it’s easy to forget about them when they’re not around, isn’t it?”
