The Darkest Torment
Page 54
“N-no. Please. No.”
“Very well, then.” He said no more, and her panic slowly receded.
The muted rays of the sun reached out to stroke him, creating a halo effect. Which was odd, considering he had horns. Part angel...part demon. Part goat, she added, remembering his legs. All warrior. The razor blades woven into his dark hair glinted in the light.
“Why are you here? I can’t aid you,” she said, remembering his parting words the last time he’d showed up.
He hiked his big shoulders in a shrug. “I was told your situation is so sad, I’ll come to care.”
“Who told you that?” William? Not likely. Closed-mouthed tyrant! “And why do you want to care?” Her mind, fogged though it was, answered the question before he could reply. He was possessed by Indifference, and the demon probably always wiped away his emotions before he had a chance to feel them. There was always a consequence to demon possession. “Do you care?”
He thought for a moment, sighed. “Not even a little.”
Well, she suddenly experienced envy. To no longer be affected by her past? To no longer be bothered by nightmares and fear? A priceless gift. “Do you ever feel anything?”
“Only very rarely, and then...” His voice trailed off, and he shrugged again.
“Lucky,” she muttered.
“Lucky? Lass, I could set you on fire, watch you burn and as you scream in agony I’d only be interested in the warmth of the flames on a chilly night.”
“Okay, maybe lucky was too strong a word.” She nibbled on her bottom lip, watching him through the shield of her lashes. “Are you going to set me on fire?”
“No. I left my matches at home.”
So comforting. And yet, for the first time since the illness had struck her, she wanted to smile.
They sat in silence for several minutes, her gaze constantly returning to him, her interest in him growing. He really was a beautiful man and though—to her—all immortals usually looked the same age, this one actually appeared younger. Why?
A cool, salty breeze washed over her fevered skin, and she shivered. He immediately removed his shirt and draped the material over her. Her gaze dropped to his chest and...oh, wow. He had muscle stacked upon muscle, unlike her stepfather and stepbrothers, who were—
Breathing became a little more difficult as her airway constricted. She turned her head away from Puck, searching for a distraction. Her nose brushed against the soft cotton of his shirt and her mind enjoyed a blissful vacation. Nothing had ever smelled this wonderful. All that peat smoke and lavender infused the cloth. And his heat! The rays of the sun had left her cold, but his shirt gave her a toasty high.
“Thank you,” she muttered, feeling like a kitten that had just found the cream.
“You’re welcome.”
They lapsed into another round of silence. If this kept up, he might leave. She didn’t want him to leave.
Just don’t want to be alone. That’s all.
She racked her brain for a conversation starter. The best she could come up with? “So, uh, how did you go invisible?”
“I didn’t. I simply moved too quickly for you—or them—to track.”
He answered her so readily, without a single moment of hesitation. That was new. William often spoke in riddles, and the warriors in Budapest always sidestepped her questions, as if they feared revealing too much to a human.
Maybe Puck would answer the question. “What is morte ad vitam?”
He arched a brow at her. “Is that what’s wrong with you?”
“Yes. All the doctors agree.” Her mouth dried as he frowned. “What does it mean?”
“Your body is trying to evolve, to become immortal, but it isn’t strong enough.”
What! No, no, no. Impossible. She was human, born and bred. She would always be human.
“The only possible chance for your survival,” he said, “is for you to bond with an immortal, linking your life force to his. But even that isn’t a guarantee. You could drain his strength and make him human.”
Bond...as in marry. What William refused to do with her or anyone. Good thing, too.
Marriage meant wifely duties. Like having sex. She would much rather wear a chastity belt for the rest of eternity.
William probably didn’t want to go that route because of his curse. Or he knew something she didn’t. Several of the Lords had bonded to their mates, and there had been consequences. The couples’ lives were now forever tied for the good, the bad and the oh, so sad. If one died, the other would soon follow.
“Well, that sucks.” She would rather die today—this second!—than place William in a moment of unnecessary danger. “How much time do I have before I...”
“Considering the condition you’re in now, I’d say another week, maybe two.”
Fourteen days at most. “I’ll never get to do the things on my bucket list. If I had a bucket list, I mean.”
“Perhaps you should make one. I can help.”
Her brow furrowed with confusion. “Why would you want to help?”
“You could use a distraction, and I could use a new goal. The woman I wanted didn’t want me back, so we parted ways. Now...” He shrugged.
“Women are goals to you?”
“Why not? My goals keep me from sitting on a couch, watching soap operas all day and eating old pizza.”
“But if you don’t feel anything, how do you know when you want a woman?”
“I rarely feel emotion, but I often feel desire. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, lass.”
“That’s true.” She smiled her saddest smile at him. “I feel all kinds of emotion, but never desire.”
A spark of curiosity lit his expression. “You are of age, yes?”
Dreading where he was going with this line of questioning, she gave a hesitant, “I’m a legal adult, yes.” Finally.
“And you’ve never desired a man?”
She stared at the water as the sun disappeared on the horizon. Shadows fell over her hideaway, the torches burning atop a wealth of poles circling her providing the only light. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, precisely, fighting the rise of shame and hate and horror that always found a way to the surface of her heart whenever this topic came up.
“Ah. I understand. Someone hurt you.” He said it so matter-of-factly.
“Very well, then.” He said no more, and her panic slowly receded.
The muted rays of the sun reached out to stroke him, creating a halo effect. Which was odd, considering he had horns. Part angel...part demon. Part goat, she added, remembering his legs. All warrior. The razor blades woven into his dark hair glinted in the light.
“Why are you here? I can’t aid you,” she said, remembering his parting words the last time he’d showed up.
He hiked his big shoulders in a shrug. “I was told your situation is so sad, I’ll come to care.”
“Who told you that?” William? Not likely. Closed-mouthed tyrant! “And why do you want to care?” Her mind, fogged though it was, answered the question before he could reply. He was possessed by Indifference, and the demon probably always wiped away his emotions before he had a chance to feel them. There was always a consequence to demon possession. “Do you care?”
He thought for a moment, sighed. “Not even a little.”
Well, she suddenly experienced envy. To no longer be affected by her past? To no longer be bothered by nightmares and fear? A priceless gift. “Do you ever feel anything?”
“Only very rarely, and then...” His voice trailed off, and he shrugged again.
“Lucky,” she muttered.
“Lucky? Lass, I could set you on fire, watch you burn and as you scream in agony I’d only be interested in the warmth of the flames on a chilly night.”
“Okay, maybe lucky was too strong a word.” She nibbled on her bottom lip, watching him through the shield of her lashes. “Are you going to set me on fire?”
“No. I left my matches at home.”
So comforting. And yet, for the first time since the illness had struck her, she wanted to smile.
They sat in silence for several minutes, her gaze constantly returning to him, her interest in him growing. He really was a beautiful man and though—to her—all immortals usually looked the same age, this one actually appeared younger. Why?
A cool, salty breeze washed over her fevered skin, and she shivered. He immediately removed his shirt and draped the material over her. Her gaze dropped to his chest and...oh, wow. He had muscle stacked upon muscle, unlike her stepfather and stepbrothers, who were—
Breathing became a little more difficult as her airway constricted. She turned her head away from Puck, searching for a distraction. Her nose brushed against the soft cotton of his shirt and her mind enjoyed a blissful vacation. Nothing had ever smelled this wonderful. All that peat smoke and lavender infused the cloth. And his heat! The rays of the sun had left her cold, but his shirt gave her a toasty high.
“Thank you,” she muttered, feeling like a kitten that had just found the cream.
“You’re welcome.”
They lapsed into another round of silence. If this kept up, he might leave. She didn’t want him to leave.
Just don’t want to be alone. That’s all.
She racked her brain for a conversation starter. The best she could come up with? “So, uh, how did you go invisible?”
“I didn’t. I simply moved too quickly for you—or them—to track.”
He answered her so readily, without a single moment of hesitation. That was new. William often spoke in riddles, and the warriors in Budapest always sidestepped her questions, as if they feared revealing too much to a human.
Maybe Puck would answer the question. “What is morte ad vitam?”
He arched a brow at her. “Is that what’s wrong with you?”
“Yes. All the doctors agree.” Her mouth dried as he frowned. “What does it mean?”
“Your body is trying to evolve, to become immortal, but it isn’t strong enough.”
What! No, no, no. Impossible. She was human, born and bred. She would always be human.
“The only possible chance for your survival,” he said, “is for you to bond with an immortal, linking your life force to his. But even that isn’t a guarantee. You could drain his strength and make him human.”
Bond...as in marry. What William refused to do with her or anyone. Good thing, too.
Marriage meant wifely duties. Like having sex. She would much rather wear a chastity belt for the rest of eternity.
William probably didn’t want to go that route because of his curse. Or he knew something she didn’t. Several of the Lords had bonded to their mates, and there had been consequences. The couples’ lives were now forever tied for the good, the bad and the oh, so sad. If one died, the other would soon follow.
“Well, that sucks.” She would rather die today—this second!—than place William in a moment of unnecessary danger. “How much time do I have before I...”
“Considering the condition you’re in now, I’d say another week, maybe two.”
Fourteen days at most. “I’ll never get to do the things on my bucket list. If I had a bucket list, I mean.”
“Perhaps you should make one. I can help.”
Her brow furrowed with confusion. “Why would you want to help?”
“You could use a distraction, and I could use a new goal. The woman I wanted didn’t want me back, so we parted ways. Now...” He shrugged.
“Women are goals to you?”
“Why not? My goals keep me from sitting on a couch, watching soap operas all day and eating old pizza.”
“But if you don’t feel anything, how do you know when you want a woman?”
“I rarely feel emotion, but I often feel desire. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, lass.”
“That’s true.” She smiled her saddest smile at him. “I feel all kinds of emotion, but never desire.”
A spark of curiosity lit his expression. “You are of age, yes?”
Dreading where he was going with this line of questioning, she gave a hesitant, “I’m a legal adult, yes.” Finally.
“And you’ve never desired a man?”
She stared at the water as the sun disappeared on the horizon. Shadows fell over her hideaway, the torches burning atop a wealth of poles circling her providing the only light. She inhaled and exhaled slowly, precisely, fighting the rise of shame and hate and horror that always found a way to the surface of her heart whenever this topic came up.
“Ah. I understand. Someone hurt you.” He said it so matter-of-factly.
