The Ending I Want
Page 103
My insides are trembling. I’ve never felt as fucking afraid as I do right now.
This tiny, beautiful woman in front of me has reduced me to a mess of emotions and put me on the verge of a fucking nervous breakdown.
But I still want more of her. I will always want her.
I stop a few feet away.
“Hey,” she says, her voice soft, small.
She’s holding her hands in front of her stomach, wringing them, like she’s anxious. My eyes go from her hands to her suitcase sitting by her feet and finally back to her face.
I part my dry lips. “I-I was…I’ve been at the airport. Looking for you. I thought…” My eyes go to her suitcase again. “The hospital called, said you’d left. And you checked out of the hotel.” I meet back with her eyes. “I thought you were leaving. I thought you were going…home.”
Her eyes drift away from my face. “I was…I am.”
My heart drops, feeling like it’s been sucker-punched.
“Taylor.”
I make a move toward her. She lifts a hand, stopping me in my tracks.
“Let me finish, please,” she says.
Her eyes are filled with so much emotion that I can’t decipher where her head is at or what she’s thinking right now.
And I want to argue. Everything inside me is telling me to argue, to fight for her…but she’s asked for the chance to talk. I’ll give it to her, and then I’ll argue her down on everything she has said. Because I’m not letting her leave here. And I’m not walking away this time.
I will not let her die. I’m fighting for her. And I’ll fight dirty if I have to.
So, I say nothing and give a nod of my head in response.
She takes a deep breath, almost like she’s preparing to say something, and my insides tighten.
She clasps her hands together in front of her. “I know I’ve already said I’m sorry to you a million times, but I am.” Her eyes come to mine. “I’m so sorry. I need you to know that. And I need you to know that I never intentionally meant to lie to you about being sick. I mean, I did lie, but it was before we were…” She gestures a hand between us. “I didn’t know then that you were going to become as important to me as you are, and then when I did realize…I guess I was afraid.” She wraps her arms over her stomach. “Afraid that if you knew the truth about how I felt about you, it would change things, change my mind about what I had to do…” Her eyes lower, her hands dropping by her sides. “And you did—you have changed things. You’ve changed me.”
She blows out a breath. I’m holding mine.
“I’ve kept a lot of things from you, Liam. Things I shouldn’t have kept from you. And you know everything now, except for this one thing. The only thing that matters now. And I knew I couldn’t go without telling you.”
Her impossibly beautiful eyes lift back to mine. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now.” She exhales softly. “Falling in love might not have been on my list…but I’m so glad I fell with you, Liam.”
She’s in love with me.
I don’t know whether to fall to my knees at her feet or start crying like a fucking baby.
“I needed you to know that,” she continues. “From the moment I realized how I felt, I thought that telling you would be the wrong thing to do. Now, I know that keeping it from you was wrong. And I came here to say that and to ask…”
She’s wringing her hands again, and I just want to take hold of them. Hold them in mine and never let go. Never let her go again.
What do you need to ask, baby? Anything, and it’s yours.
“Well…I came to see if your offer still stands.”
She’s staring at me, and I know she’s waiting for me to speak, but my throat is clogged up with her words.
I clear my throat. “What offer?” Whatever it is, it’s yes, babe.
So long as she’s not asking me to watch her die because, that, I won’t do.
“When you asked me to stay here. To live here. With you. I was wondering…if that still stands.” She exhales softly. “Before, when I said that I was going home, I meant you, Hunter. Home to me now is where you are. I am coming home to you.”
“But I thought…”
“I changed my mind.” She smiles, and it slays me. Fucking slays me. “Well, if you still want me, that is…”
I don’t let her say any more. She doesn’t need to say more.
I clear the distance between us. Then, her face is in my hands, and I’m kissing her.
Kissing her like I’ve never kissed her before.
Every feeling I have for her is poured into this kiss. I need her to know what I feel for her because words don’t seem like enough right now.
Her hands grip ahold of my shirt, her fingers digging into my chest, as I taste her, hold her, feel her.
She’s here and she’s real and she’s mine.
Breaking from her lips, breathing hard, I stare down into her blue eyes.
“So, is that a yes?” she whispers, biting down on her lower lip.
I press my forehead to hers, letting out a low laugh. “What do you think?”
She laughs softly. It’s the sweetest fucking sound.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight. “I love you, babe. So fucking much.”
“I love you, too.” She presses her cheek to my chest, her arms coming around my waist.
I just hold her for a long moment, breathing her in, reminding myself that this is real. She’s here.
This tiny, beautiful woman in front of me has reduced me to a mess of emotions and put me on the verge of a fucking nervous breakdown.
But I still want more of her. I will always want her.
I stop a few feet away.
“Hey,” she says, her voice soft, small.
She’s holding her hands in front of her stomach, wringing them, like she’s anxious. My eyes go from her hands to her suitcase sitting by her feet and finally back to her face.
I part my dry lips. “I-I was…I’ve been at the airport. Looking for you. I thought…” My eyes go to her suitcase again. “The hospital called, said you’d left. And you checked out of the hotel.” I meet back with her eyes. “I thought you were leaving. I thought you were going…home.”
Her eyes drift away from my face. “I was…I am.”
My heart drops, feeling like it’s been sucker-punched.
“Taylor.”
I make a move toward her. She lifts a hand, stopping me in my tracks.
“Let me finish, please,” she says.
Her eyes are filled with so much emotion that I can’t decipher where her head is at or what she’s thinking right now.
And I want to argue. Everything inside me is telling me to argue, to fight for her…but she’s asked for the chance to talk. I’ll give it to her, and then I’ll argue her down on everything she has said. Because I’m not letting her leave here. And I’m not walking away this time.
I will not let her die. I’m fighting for her. And I’ll fight dirty if I have to.
So, I say nothing and give a nod of my head in response.
She takes a deep breath, almost like she’s preparing to say something, and my insides tighten.
She clasps her hands together in front of her. “I know I’ve already said I’m sorry to you a million times, but I am.” Her eyes come to mine. “I’m so sorry. I need you to know that. And I need you to know that I never intentionally meant to lie to you about being sick. I mean, I did lie, but it was before we were…” She gestures a hand between us. “I didn’t know then that you were going to become as important to me as you are, and then when I did realize…I guess I was afraid.” She wraps her arms over her stomach. “Afraid that if you knew the truth about how I felt about you, it would change things, change my mind about what I had to do…” Her eyes lower, her hands dropping by her sides. “And you did—you have changed things. You’ve changed me.”
She blows out a breath. I’m holding mine.
“I’ve kept a lot of things from you, Liam. Things I shouldn’t have kept from you. And you know everything now, except for this one thing. The only thing that matters now. And I knew I couldn’t go without telling you.”
Her impossibly beautiful eyes lift back to mine. “I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for a while now.” She exhales softly. “Falling in love might not have been on my list…but I’m so glad I fell with you, Liam.”
She’s in love with me.
I don’t know whether to fall to my knees at her feet or start crying like a fucking baby.
“I needed you to know that,” she continues. “From the moment I realized how I felt, I thought that telling you would be the wrong thing to do. Now, I know that keeping it from you was wrong. And I came here to say that and to ask…”
She’s wringing her hands again, and I just want to take hold of them. Hold them in mine and never let go. Never let her go again.
What do you need to ask, baby? Anything, and it’s yours.
“Well…I came to see if your offer still stands.”
She’s staring at me, and I know she’s waiting for me to speak, but my throat is clogged up with her words.
I clear my throat. “What offer?” Whatever it is, it’s yes, babe.
So long as she’s not asking me to watch her die because, that, I won’t do.
“When you asked me to stay here. To live here. With you. I was wondering…if that still stands.” She exhales softly. “Before, when I said that I was going home, I meant you, Hunter. Home to me now is where you are. I am coming home to you.”
“But I thought…”
“I changed my mind.” She smiles, and it slays me. Fucking slays me. “Well, if you still want me, that is…”
I don’t let her say any more. She doesn’t need to say more.
I clear the distance between us. Then, her face is in my hands, and I’m kissing her.
Kissing her like I’ve never kissed her before.
Every feeling I have for her is poured into this kiss. I need her to know what I feel for her because words don’t seem like enough right now.
Her hands grip ahold of my shirt, her fingers digging into my chest, as I taste her, hold her, feel her.
She’s here and she’s real and she’s mine.
Breaking from her lips, breathing hard, I stare down into her blue eyes.
“So, is that a yes?” she whispers, biting down on her lower lip.
I press my forehead to hers, letting out a low laugh. “What do you think?”
She laughs softly. It’s the sweetest fucking sound.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight. “I love you, babe. So fucking much.”
“I love you, too.” She presses her cheek to my chest, her arms coming around my waist.
I just hold her for a long moment, breathing her in, reminding myself that this is real. She’s here.
