The Ending I Want
Page 81
A small laugh escapes me. “I’m happy right here.”
His gaze softens. “Yeah, me, too.”
We’re staring at each other, no words passing between us, and the moment is perfect.
And then I have to go and spoil it by saying, “Hunter…can I ask about…Kate?”
His face immediately closes up, shutting me out.
Why did I have to ask that?
Because it’s been bugging me ever since I saw her picture and his reaction to it. And the fact that she was his fiancée.
He had a fiancée. I think that’s a big deal. Well, it is to me anyway, and I want to know what happened between them. Because, whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
He turns his face into the pillow. I can hear him breathing deeply.
“I’m not trying to upset you,” I say gently. “I was just—”
“Curious.” He turns his face back to me. His expression is hard.
“Yeah,” I exhale.
And he does, too. But the breath he lets out is far more pronounced than mine.
“The night you got sick at my grandpa’s house, after you had seen the picture, I came into the bathroom to apologize for my behavior. I just didn’t get a chance.” His eyes focus on mine. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
He lifts a shoulder. “Even still, I acted like a prick, and you of all people don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
But I do, Hunter. I deserve so much more than you acting like a prick. I deserve your anger and your disdain.
He closes his eyes.
I think that’s the end of the conversation. He doesn’t want to talk about Kate, and that’s his right. I’m not exactly forthcoming in things that have to do with me.
I haven’t exactly told him about my family’s deaths.
And how it was my fault.
I press my hand to his cheek to let him know it’s okay that he doesn’t want to talk. His growing stubble under my palm is rough and ticklish.
“I met Kate in my first year of university.”
He opens his eyes, and I move my hand away.
“We were taking a few of the same classes. We got to talking. She was smart and beautiful and popular.”
Liam’s Knife, meet Taylor’s Heart.
I try to keep my expression straight. Not easy when a blade is being twisted inside my chest.
He doesn’t seem to notice though, and he just keeps on talking, “Yeah, I was a Hunter, but all the way through school—after I’d left my old school and started Eton where Grandpa wanted me to go—I wasn’t the Hunter my grandpa was—or even my father, for that matter. Instead, I was the bastard child of Charles Hunter, a man who didn’t want me. And my mother was a druggie stripper, who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend. To say that school was tough would be putting it mildly. Sure, I had Cam and Eddie…and even Jeremy.” He sighs. “But that didn’t change who I was.
“Kate didn’t seem to care about any of that. She just liked me. And I was dazzled by her. I was never really in love with Kate. Not like I should have been. It took me a long time to realize that.” His eyes connect with mine for a time. Then, he looks away. “With Kate, at first, it was lust. I was nineteen, and she was hot. And then, as time went on…I guess I loved the idea of Kate more than I did her.”
But you asked her to marry you.
I bite my tongue to stop from speaking. I literally bite it, and I get the sharp metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
“We graduated and moved in together. It was what she wanted, and it seemed to be the logical thing to do. So, I went along with it to keep her happy. I was in the process of setting up Hunter Airways and that was taking all of my time. I needed easy at that time.” He sighs. “But it wasn’t easy. She was always bitching that I was never around, that I never had time for her, that the business was more important to me. To a degree, that was true. I did care more about my business and having it succeed. I didn’t want to be like my father, a fucking leech. I wanted to prove that I could make something of myself.”
“And you have,” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “But back then, that was all that mattered. Still does now, to a certain degree.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having passion for your business.”
“I guess not.” He blows out a breath. “Kate didn’t see it that way though. Right from the beginning of our relationship, she always said that I was distant, that I never let her close. She was right about that, too. I do have a hard time with letting people in.”
You’ve let me in. You’re doing it right now.
I don’t say those words because making him aware of it won’t help things. It won’t help me.
“So, one night, after I got back late from a business trip, I went home. I walked in the door, and her suitcases were packed and waiting by it.”
“Was this your home with Kate?” My eyes look around his bedroom.
“No.” He softly shakes his head. “I couldn’t afford a place like this back then. We had a small apartment in West London.”
“Oh.” I’m glad for that. I guess I would’ve felt a little weird, spending time here…sleeping in the bed…that was his home with Kate. “Did she leave?” I ask.
I’m guessing she came back if he asked her to marry him.
“No. I didn’t see it, but it was a way for her to get what she wanted from me.”
His gaze softens. “Yeah, me, too.”
We’re staring at each other, no words passing between us, and the moment is perfect.
And then I have to go and spoil it by saying, “Hunter…can I ask about…Kate?”
His face immediately closes up, shutting me out.
Why did I have to ask that?
Because it’s been bugging me ever since I saw her picture and his reaction to it. And the fact that she was his fiancée.
He had a fiancée. I think that’s a big deal. Well, it is to me anyway, and I want to know what happened between them. Because, whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
He turns his face into the pillow. I can hear him breathing deeply.
“I’m not trying to upset you,” I say gently. “I was just—”
“Curious.” He turns his face back to me. His expression is hard.
“Yeah,” I exhale.
And he does, too. But the breath he lets out is far more pronounced than mine.
“The night you got sick at my grandpa’s house, after you had seen the picture, I came into the bathroom to apologize for my behavior. I just didn’t get a chance.” His eyes focus on mine. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.”
“I’m sure you had your reasons.”
He lifts a shoulder. “Even still, I acted like a prick, and you of all people don’t deserve to be treated that way.”
But I do, Hunter. I deserve so much more than you acting like a prick. I deserve your anger and your disdain.
He closes his eyes.
I think that’s the end of the conversation. He doesn’t want to talk about Kate, and that’s his right. I’m not exactly forthcoming in things that have to do with me.
I haven’t exactly told him about my family’s deaths.
And how it was my fault.
I press my hand to his cheek to let him know it’s okay that he doesn’t want to talk. His growing stubble under my palm is rough and ticklish.
“I met Kate in my first year of university.”
He opens his eyes, and I move my hand away.
“We were taking a few of the same classes. We got to talking. She was smart and beautiful and popular.”
Liam’s Knife, meet Taylor’s Heart.
I try to keep my expression straight. Not easy when a blade is being twisted inside my chest.
He doesn’t seem to notice though, and he just keeps on talking, “Yeah, I was a Hunter, but all the way through school—after I’d left my old school and started Eton where Grandpa wanted me to go—I wasn’t the Hunter my grandpa was—or even my father, for that matter. Instead, I was the bastard child of Charles Hunter, a man who didn’t want me. And my mother was a druggie stripper, who was stabbed to death by her boyfriend. To say that school was tough would be putting it mildly. Sure, I had Cam and Eddie…and even Jeremy.” He sighs. “But that didn’t change who I was.
“Kate didn’t seem to care about any of that. She just liked me. And I was dazzled by her. I was never really in love with Kate. Not like I should have been. It took me a long time to realize that.” His eyes connect with mine for a time. Then, he looks away. “With Kate, at first, it was lust. I was nineteen, and she was hot. And then, as time went on…I guess I loved the idea of Kate more than I did her.”
But you asked her to marry you.
I bite my tongue to stop from speaking. I literally bite it, and I get the sharp metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
“We graduated and moved in together. It was what she wanted, and it seemed to be the logical thing to do. So, I went along with it to keep her happy. I was in the process of setting up Hunter Airways and that was taking all of my time. I needed easy at that time.” He sighs. “But it wasn’t easy. She was always bitching that I was never around, that I never had time for her, that the business was more important to me. To a degree, that was true. I did care more about my business and having it succeed. I didn’t want to be like my father, a fucking leech. I wanted to prove that I could make something of myself.”
“And you have,” I say softly.
“Yeah,” he murmurs. “But back then, that was all that mattered. Still does now, to a certain degree.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having passion for your business.”
“I guess not.” He blows out a breath. “Kate didn’t see it that way though. Right from the beginning of our relationship, she always said that I was distant, that I never let her close. She was right about that, too. I do have a hard time with letting people in.”
You’ve let me in. You’re doing it right now.
I don’t say those words because making him aware of it won’t help things. It won’t help me.
“So, one night, after I got back late from a business trip, I went home. I walked in the door, and her suitcases were packed and waiting by it.”
“Was this your home with Kate?” My eyes look around his bedroom.
“No.” He softly shakes his head. “I couldn’t afford a place like this back then. We had a small apartment in West London.”
“Oh.” I’m glad for that. I guess I would’ve felt a little weird, spending time here…sleeping in the bed…that was his home with Kate. “Did she leave?” I ask.
I’m guessing she came back if he asked her to marry him.
“No. I didn’t see it, but it was a way for her to get what she wanted from me.”
