The Endless Forest
Page 188
He said, “Martha Bonner, I swear to you, I’ll do everything in my power to protect you. Because I love you, and your happiness is the most important thing in the world to me. Now, can we go home, if you’re feeling up to it?”
How long had she been hoping to hear him say these things? She had imagined it happening in a dozen different ways, but certainly not like this, hiding away from everyone so she could weep in privacy.
“It’s odd,” she said. “But there is one good turn my mother did me. She didn’t realize it at the time, of course. She just wanted to get me away from Teddy so he couldn’t get control of my money, and so I came home to Paradise—”
She broke off, thinking of what might have been. The full truth was that if she had married Teddy and settled into Manhattan society as the wife of one of the sons of the founding families, she might have been happy. Or better said, she might have believed herself happy. She might have gone through the years attending receptions and giving teas, knitting for the poor and volunteering at the hospital, making sure that the cook remembered that Teddy had wanted ham for his dinner, or interviewing nurses who would see more of her children than she would herself.
If she was fortunate she might never have realized what was missing and counted herself fortunate to live as well as she did with a husband who never raised his voice to her. In time she would have become to Teddy what his mother was: a figurehead to be obeyed. Not a wife, not really.
And it was because of her mother that she had escaped that fate.
Martha shook herself and stood. “Yes,” she said. “Let’s go home.”
They had come down from the mountain on foot, and they would have to go back the same way.
“But can we go the long way around? I couldn’t bear to talk to anybody about this, and word will be out already.”
“We can,” Daniel said. “I was going to suggest that anyway, because I need to take you to Eagle Rock.”
His expression was sober, his color high. As if he had been weeping too.
“Eagle Rock?”
He touched her lower lip with two fingers. “I have dreams about your mother too, and I think it’s time I told you about them.”
Chapter LIX
It was well past six, but Ethan’s parlor was flooded with light so intense Hannah’s eyes watered.
Ethan was saying, “How do you think this could possibly work? Nicholas is sure to hear that she’s in the village. There’s no way to avoid that unless you want to lock him up until she dies. And then he’ll find out anyway, and he’ll be hurt and angry. Hannah?”
This was one of the reasons that Hannah had walked home with Callie and Ethan, to be of help to them as they tried to sort out this very complex situation.
Callie’s color was high and uneven, and she looked as though she might vomit any moment. “Hannah will agree with you,” she said. “You may even be right, both of you, but it doesn’t feel right to me.”
“You want to protect your brother,” Hannah said. “That is understandable. But what you are suggesting will do more harm than good, in the long run.”
“I don’t want to see her,” Callie said. “I refuse to see her. And I don’t want him to go alone. Ethan, it is cowardly of me to ask it of you, but would you take—”
“No,” Hannah said. “I would rather do it, if you have no objection.”
Callie’s brow rose in surprise, but Ethan’s expression was harder to read. Callie said, “But you needn’t. Curiosity—”
“I have to go see Jemima again, at least once,” Hannah interrupted her gently. “I promised her more laudanum. After that Curiosity can take over, and I’ll be glad of it.” Hannah was not good at lying, but she did her very best, and Callie seemed to take her at her word.
“When are you going? Could we get it over with today?”
Ethan frowned, but he held back whatever objection he had.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Hannah said. “I’ll go find Nicholas now and explain to him what’s happening, and then afterward I’ll bring him home to you.”
She felt Ethan’s gaze on her, but she knew better than to look at him directly. Not now. Not yet.
“Yes,” Callie said. “All right. Ethan, will you go with her to find Nicholas? He might be alarmed otherwise.”
Hannah’s understanding of Nicholas was so far different from Callie’s that they might have been talking about different boys. In her experience he was not easily upset or frightened, and if he knew and liked someone, that person could ask the moon of him and he’d climb a tree to see if he could reach it. But this was not the time to discuss the boy or Callie, and certainly not Callie’s grasp of the facts.
Ethan got ready to go, and Martha sat in silence for a moment. Hannah rose from her chair and hesitated.
“Do you have any other questions, before I go?”
Callie shook her head. “Just promise me you’ll take care of Nicholas.”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “Of course I will look out for his best interests.”
Though it was early evening the brilliant summer day showed no signs of giving way to twilight as Hannah and Ethan left the house. The seed of a pain that had been sitting between Hannah’s brows twisted and turned and blossomed into a headache. Elizabeth had always warned her about the dangers of going about bareheaded in the sun, and now it turned out she was right. It had just taken much longer than anyone would have guessed.
How long had she been hoping to hear him say these things? She had imagined it happening in a dozen different ways, but certainly not like this, hiding away from everyone so she could weep in privacy.
“It’s odd,” she said. “But there is one good turn my mother did me. She didn’t realize it at the time, of course. She just wanted to get me away from Teddy so he couldn’t get control of my money, and so I came home to Paradise—”
She broke off, thinking of what might have been. The full truth was that if she had married Teddy and settled into Manhattan society as the wife of one of the sons of the founding families, she might have been happy. Or better said, she might have believed herself happy. She might have gone through the years attending receptions and giving teas, knitting for the poor and volunteering at the hospital, making sure that the cook remembered that Teddy had wanted ham for his dinner, or interviewing nurses who would see more of her children than she would herself.
If she was fortunate she might never have realized what was missing and counted herself fortunate to live as well as she did with a husband who never raised his voice to her. In time she would have become to Teddy what his mother was: a figurehead to be obeyed. Not a wife, not really.
And it was because of her mother that she had escaped that fate.
Martha shook herself and stood. “Yes,” she said. “Let’s go home.”
They had come down from the mountain on foot, and they would have to go back the same way.
“But can we go the long way around? I couldn’t bear to talk to anybody about this, and word will be out already.”
“We can,” Daniel said. “I was going to suggest that anyway, because I need to take you to Eagle Rock.”
His expression was sober, his color high. As if he had been weeping too.
“Eagle Rock?”
He touched her lower lip with two fingers. “I have dreams about your mother too, and I think it’s time I told you about them.”
Chapter LIX
It was well past six, but Ethan’s parlor was flooded with light so intense Hannah’s eyes watered.
Ethan was saying, “How do you think this could possibly work? Nicholas is sure to hear that she’s in the village. There’s no way to avoid that unless you want to lock him up until she dies. And then he’ll find out anyway, and he’ll be hurt and angry. Hannah?”
This was one of the reasons that Hannah had walked home with Callie and Ethan, to be of help to them as they tried to sort out this very complex situation.
Callie’s color was high and uneven, and she looked as though she might vomit any moment. “Hannah will agree with you,” she said. “You may even be right, both of you, but it doesn’t feel right to me.”
“You want to protect your brother,” Hannah said. “That is understandable. But what you are suggesting will do more harm than good, in the long run.”
“I don’t want to see her,” Callie said. “I refuse to see her. And I don’t want him to go alone. Ethan, it is cowardly of me to ask it of you, but would you take—”
“No,” Hannah said. “I would rather do it, if you have no objection.”
Callie’s brow rose in surprise, but Ethan’s expression was harder to read. Callie said, “But you needn’t. Curiosity—”
“I have to go see Jemima again, at least once,” Hannah interrupted her gently. “I promised her more laudanum. After that Curiosity can take over, and I’ll be glad of it.” Hannah was not good at lying, but she did her very best, and Callie seemed to take her at her word.
“When are you going? Could we get it over with today?”
Ethan frowned, but he held back whatever objection he had.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Hannah said. “I’ll go find Nicholas now and explain to him what’s happening, and then afterward I’ll bring him home to you.”
She felt Ethan’s gaze on her, but she knew better than to look at him directly. Not now. Not yet.
“Yes,” Callie said. “All right. Ethan, will you go with her to find Nicholas? He might be alarmed otherwise.”
Hannah’s understanding of Nicholas was so far different from Callie’s that they might have been talking about different boys. In her experience he was not easily upset or frightened, and if he knew and liked someone, that person could ask the moon of him and he’d climb a tree to see if he could reach it. But this was not the time to discuss the boy or Callie, and certainly not Callie’s grasp of the facts.
Ethan got ready to go, and Martha sat in silence for a moment. Hannah rose from her chair and hesitated.
“Do you have any other questions, before I go?”
Callie shook her head. “Just promise me you’ll take care of Nicholas.”
“Of course,” Hannah said. “Of course I will look out for his best interests.”
Though it was early evening the brilliant summer day showed no signs of giving way to twilight as Hannah and Ethan left the house. The seed of a pain that had been sitting between Hannah’s brows twisted and turned and blossomed into a headache. Elizabeth had always warned her about the dangers of going about bareheaded in the sun, and now it turned out she was right. It had just taken much longer than anyone would have guessed.
