The Essence
Page 58
Sabara stirred within me, reminding me that we weren’t alone. That I was never alone. Don’t trust her, she warned on a dark gust that made me shudder. Don’t trust any of them.
But it was Sabara I didn’t trust. Sabara who waited for her opportunity to take my place.
Five queens and eight ambassadors later, I finally found my way to Brooklynn. She’d somehow managed to slip away from Sebastian, losing him among the throng of royal emissaries.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” I whispered. “I think some of them might be crazy.”
“Who’s crazy?” Brook asked, keeping her voice low.
“The queens, Brook. Hestia calls me Ludania. And the way they talk to each other . . . This whole thing is just so . . . They’re so . . . strange.”
Brook pulled me away from the crowd. “Of course they are,” she said, smiling wistfully. “Think about the kind of lives they’ve had, everyone bowing down to them, doing whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. How weird would that be?”
I raised my eyebrows, reminding her that was my life now. “It is weird.”
“Yeah, but you’ve only been dealing with it for a few months,” Brook countered, waving off my argument with a flit of her hand. She glanced around to make sure no one was listening to us. “Imagine growing up that way. Imagine never having anyone tell you no or never wanting for anything.”
“I can’t,” I admitted. It was hard enough trying to imagine what it would be like to spend the rest of my life this way, let alone never knowing anything different. I suppose it made sense that their views of the world would be somewhat distorted . . . their perceptions warped.
Still, I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“Well, trust me, if you were uncomfortable, it didn’t show. I’ve been watching you, and you’ve charmed the pants off everyone, Charlie.” Brook reached out and smoothed a strand of my flyaway hair from my cheek. The sideways grin was back. “It isn’t all bad, is it?”
“Honestly?” I asked, biting my lip. “I couldn’t remember anything Xander taught me. I’m an utter failure as a queen. I curtsied to Queen Langdon . . . who then spit at my feet. And I’m not even sure she’s the one who spits. I think she just didn’t like me.” Brook eyed my shoes warily, but I ignored her. “And then I almost fell on my butt when I tried to do that strange backward bow to Empress Thea. I swear I heard her laugh at me, and not in a good way.
“I don’t get it, Brook. Why can’t we just . . . ? I don’t know, say ‘hello’ like everyone else? Why do there have to be so many rules?” I chewed my lip. “I did like Queen Elena, though. I can see why Xander enlisted her help against Sabara.”
Aron found us then, slipping out of the buzzing commotion. The girl in the red dress was still on his arm. “So? What do you think of our girl? She cleans up nice.”
Heat unfurled in my stomach, reaching all the way up to my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“I wasn’t talking about you, Charlie.” Aron was grinning at me.
I blinked, and realized he meant the girl beside him, the one in the red dress.
It took several moments for my brain to accept that it was Avonlea I was staring at. Avonlea with her almost-blue eyes. Her hair was darker now than I remembered it, with just a hint of fire streaked through it, and shinier than I’d have thought possible. Her bowed lips were painted to match the crimson of her dress.
“You . . . you look . . .” I was at a loss, so I stole a line from Empress Filis. “You look incredible.”
She blushed, which only made the transformation seem all the more dramatic. “I feel like one of the girls from the stories Floss used to tell us when we were little. The ones about a girl who discovers she’s a princess.”
I glanced at Brook, whose eyes widened.
“Sometimes fairy tales comes true,” a thick voice whispered at my ear.
My pulse stuttered as I turned to find Niko standing there. Niko, whom I’d dreamed about. Niko who’d almost kissed me the night before.
“I don’t believe in fairy tales,” I answered wryly just as a bell rang, signaling that breakfast was served.
I wasn’t allowed to sit with Brook and Aron and Avonlea. The queens left their ambassadors and guards so they could dine alone, at a private table.
It was just the seven of us then: Queen Neva, Empress Filis, Queen Hestia, Queen Langdon, Empress Thea, Queen Elena, and myself.
I’d never been more uncomfortable in my entire life and I approached the table on unsteady legs.
Neva sat at the head of the table with Filis at the other end. I was placed directly between Hestia, who had her dog on her lap, and Langdon, who was by far the eldest of all the queens in attendance. Quite possibly the oldest queen alive, although that could easily have been a fact made up entirely in my head.
Let me have one of them, Sabara’s voice rang through my head.
I faltered, my feet failing me.
What are you saying? I hated the way my heart pounded, like a sledgehammer against my ribs.
You can be free of me, Charlaina. I could take one of them instead. They simply have to say the words.
She didn’t have to explain. I understood what she meant. They were royals, all of them. Any one of them could host Sabara’s Essence. Any one of them could give me the freedom I craved.
I shook my head, not caring that everyone in the room was watching me at that moment. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t force Sabara onto another person just because I didn’t want her. I couldn’t take away their life, their free will, just to save myself.
But it was Sabara I didn’t trust. Sabara who waited for her opportunity to take my place.
Five queens and eight ambassadors later, I finally found my way to Brooklynn. She’d somehow managed to slip away from Sebastian, losing him among the throng of royal emissaries.
“I’m not sure I can do this,” I whispered. “I think some of them might be crazy.”
“Who’s crazy?” Brook asked, keeping her voice low.
“The queens, Brook. Hestia calls me Ludania. And the way they talk to each other . . . This whole thing is just so . . . They’re so . . . strange.”
Brook pulled me away from the crowd. “Of course they are,” she said, smiling wistfully. “Think about the kind of lives they’ve had, everyone bowing down to them, doing whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. How weird would that be?”
I raised my eyebrows, reminding her that was my life now. “It is weird.”
“Yeah, but you’ve only been dealing with it for a few months,” Brook countered, waving off my argument with a flit of her hand. She glanced around to make sure no one was listening to us. “Imagine growing up that way. Imagine never having anyone tell you no or never wanting for anything.”
“I can’t,” I admitted. It was hard enough trying to imagine what it would be like to spend the rest of my life this way, let alone never knowing anything different. I suppose it made sense that their views of the world would be somewhat distorted . . . their perceptions warped.
Still, I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“Well, trust me, if you were uncomfortable, it didn’t show. I’ve been watching you, and you’ve charmed the pants off everyone, Charlie.” Brook reached out and smoothed a strand of my flyaway hair from my cheek. The sideways grin was back. “It isn’t all bad, is it?”
“Honestly?” I asked, biting my lip. “I couldn’t remember anything Xander taught me. I’m an utter failure as a queen. I curtsied to Queen Langdon . . . who then spit at my feet. And I’m not even sure she’s the one who spits. I think she just didn’t like me.” Brook eyed my shoes warily, but I ignored her. “And then I almost fell on my butt when I tried to do that strange backward bow to Empress Thea. I swear I heard her laugh at me, and not in a good way.
“I don’t get it, Brook. Why can’t we just . . . ? I don’t know, say ‘hello’ like everyone else? Why do there have to be so many rules?” I chewed my lip. “I did like Queen Elena, though. I can see why Xander enlisted her help against Sabara.”
Aron found us then, slipping out of the buzzing commotion. The girl in the red dress was still on his arm. “So? What do you think of our girl? She cleans up nice.”
Heat unfurled in my stomach, reaching all the way up to my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“I wasn’t talking about you, Charlie.” Aron was grinning at me.
I blinked, and realized he meant the girl beside him, the one in the red dress.
It took several moments for my brain to accept that it was Avonlea I was staring at. Avonlea with her almost-blue eyes. Her hair was darker now than I remembered it, with just a hint of fire streaked through it, and shinier than I’d have thought possible. Her bowed lips were painted to match the crimson of her dress.
“You . . . you look . . .” I was at a loss, so I stole a line from Empress Filis. “You look incredible.”
She blushed, which only made the transformation seem all the more dramatic. “I feel like one of the girls from the stories Floss used to tell us when we were little. The ones about a girl who discovers she’s a princess.”
I glanced at Brook, whose eyes widened.
“Sometimes fairy tales comes true,” a thick voice whispered at my ear.
My pulse stuttered as I turned to find Niko standing there. Niko, whom I’d dreamed about. Niko who’d almost kissed me the night before.
“I don’t believe in fairy tales,” I answered wryly just as a bell rang, signaling that breakfast was served.
I wasn’t allowed to sit with Brook and Aron and Avonlea. The queens left their ambassadors and guards so they could dine alone, at a private table.
It was just the seven of us then: Queen Neva, Empress Filis, Queen Hestia, Queen Langdon, Empress Thea, Queen Elena, and myself.
I’d never been more uncomfortable in my entire life and I approached the table on unsteady legs.
Neva sat at the head of the table with Filis at the other end. I was placed directly between Hestia, who had her dog on her lap, and Langdon, who was by far the eldest of all the queens in attendance. Quite possibly the oldest queen alive, although that could easily have been a fact made up entirely in my head.
Let me have one of them, Sabara’s voice rang through my head.
I faltered, my feet failing me.
What are you saying? I hated the way my heart pounded, like a sledgehammer against my ribs.
You can be free of me, Charlaina. I could take one of them instead. They simply have to say the words.
She didn’t have to explain. I understood what she meant. They were royals, all of them. Any one of them could host Sabara’s Essence. Any one of them could give me the freedom I craved.
I shook my head, not caring that everyone in the room was watching me at that moment. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t force Sabara onto another person just because I didn’t want her. I couldn’t take away their life, their free will, just to save myself.
